Chapter 74: Countdown (1)
I was groggy when I woke up and noticed Gin sleeping beside me. I watched him soundly asleep while both of us were still leaning on the cave wall and our hands still clasping each other hands. I sat properly and slightly toke his hands away on me. I watched his condition. His fever slightly dropped.
I watched the surroundings. Dark. The moonlight peeping from between the vines covering the entrance of the cave.n I thought about Luna. Where is she? Did she not arrive yet? I was a bit startled when I felt movement in my surroundings. Someone entered the cave.
"Oh, you"re awake."
I blinked when I saw Luna. She dropped the water container she was carrying.
"How long have you been back?" I asked.
She shook her head. "I just came back. I just went to fetch some water in the river nearby. Sorry I didn"t wake you up."
I noticed her looking Gin who was sleeping. It seems like she wanted to ask me a question. But she chose to keep silent. This is one of the reasons why I admire Luna. She knows something is up. But she understands. There"s no need for words because she"s sensitive enough to know.
"How are you? Did you have a hard time finding?" I asked. "It would e better if you take a rest first."
"This is easier than expected because I remember the road." She was suddenly silent. She focused on the container of the new plants in front of her. I feel like she was avoiding to talk about something.
"Luna," I said. "Did something happen?"
There"s a hint of uneasiness in my voice. She suddenly stopped at what she was doing. Several seconds pa.s.sed before she looked at me again.
"I saw him."
I froze. "W-who?" The moment the words are out, the answer to my own question entered my mind.
Luna looked away, seemingly hesitating to tell me. "Lucas. I saw Lucas."
I feel like I suddenly stop breathing. I don"t know if what I feel was either relief or fear that"s overwhelming me. A few words and a wave of emotion crashed into me. Concern. Fear.
"How is he?" I asked with a weak voice. "Is he okay? Is he injured?"
Luna seemed shocked and my continuous questions. She wasn"t able to immediately talk. "At this time of the game, it"s impossible if you are not injured. But he"s okay. We didn"t talk. I just saw him, just staring each other. He probably knows me. Then he turned back and walked away."
I don"t know what to say. There are so many things in my mind but it"s so chaotic to ask Luna. I stopped myself to ask her where I could find him.
"Shia, why didn"t he hurt me?" Luna asked. "This is the phase where every point is crucial. Our groups are enemy. I"m an easy target but he didn"t do anything. "
It gradually sinks in what Luna wanted to say. She looked straight at my eyes."Why did he not fight for his team? Is he not planning to win? "
An unexplained feeling engulfed me. Even I wanted to know the answer. We haven"t able to talk. I don"t know why Lucas is here and why he isn"t fighting.
"Shia, when the game ends-"
I cut her off. "Take a rest."
I know the consequences of Luna"s question. It"s about me and Lucas. If there"s something that will happen to both of us when the Game is over. I don"t like to think about that thing in front of Luna.
"Shi"
Luna stared at me. Trace of concern and intense fear can be heard on her voice. Not for herself but for me. Does she know about my plan? Did she feel it that"s she"s this nervous?
I leaned against the wall again and turned to Gin. He moves a bit. But continued to be in a deep sleep. Gin looks so calm. It was not like earlier, always groaning in pain. It was so peaceful to look at his every breath. I smiled. I want this one. I want it to be my last memories of him. I want to remember this moment.
"You"ve fallen for him, haven"t you?"
I suddenly turned to Luna. She"s looking at both Gin and I. "You know our Captain." she pointed out. She knows it or maybe it"s her mere a.s.sumption. I wanted to deny but I"m already tired. I didn"t just fell for him, Luna. I hit the ground with a loud thud.
She leaned against the wall opposite to mine, and now we are both facing each other." Luna, thank you." I said. She seemed surprised by what I just said. She stared at me wondering.
"For what?" she asked.
I shrugged. "I don"t know," I answered. I looked at the wall behind her unconsciously. "You are like a sibling, do you know that?" I said. "Cheerful, kind, thoughtful."
I saw Luna stunned. "In the world, we live, it"s hard to see someone like you. So every time you worry about me I often don"t know what to do."
I laughed superficially. "I see all your efforts, but I don"t know how to repay it. I"m not accustomed to someone worrying about me. So I apologize to the things that I did when we were together."
She slightly smiled. "When you are being ill-tempered? When you suddenly turned silent? Or is it that usual look of yours that I"m already I"m used to?" she said smiling.
"What look?" I asked with a frown.
She suddenly laughed. This is the first time I heard her laugh at this place, and maybe the last one. "That kind of face, sometimes frowning or staring seriously, but often no emotion."
"Seriously."
"Hey, I"m just stating a fact here." She said while restraining her smile. "Especially in your early days at the Academy. It"s like I"m staring at a blank wall. You rarely showed emotion."
I gave her a pointed look, trying hard to suppress a smile. "Blank wall?"
"Yeah." she smiled while nodding her head in agreement. "You were that cold."
In the middle of the dark and cold air of the twilight, are our quiet wails can only be heard inside the cave. I would miss this.
"But did you know?" she said. I noticed her voice suddenly turned serious. "I"m always grateful that you became a member of the group. I know it"s a product of a cruel by chance but I can"t imagine Team Hesperia without a Shia Sheridan. "
I don"t know if that"s how I also feel. If I did not go to the Academy, maybe I"m still in our town, both Lucas and I, doing the same old stuff, sometimes messing around, laughing in the midst of problems. But I can"t even imagine that in exchange for it is without knowing Luna, the group, Sir Apollo and Miss Aura, Gin.
There"s no use in regretting things like a failed decision and imagining the alternative. Maybe I"m meant to be here, to meet them, to see that there is a life way beyond the dirty downtown streets, rusty rooftops, and people with unrealized dreams buried six feet under the ground. Maybe the circ.u.mstances put me here because there is something I"m supposed to find or understand.
And I did.
I noticed Luna was yawning. She is definitely tired. "Luna."
She snapped back in my attention. "Yes?"
I watched her. I didn"t speak immediately. In that time I didn"t know why I said it. Maybe I felt it that it would be our last conversation.
"I didn"t regret that I met you," I said. "Where ever all of these leads, remember that I was happy. I will never forget this- I will never forget the group. "
She smiled at what I said. "Me too."
I tried to smile to hide the feeling that made every limb of my body tremble in pain. "Let"s sleep."
"Good night, Shia."
I watched Gin beside me and turned to Luna and smiled.
"Good night."
A strange thing woke me up. I opened my eyes, a dark and silent surrounding greeted me. Luna is still peacefully sleeping in opposite to me and Gin beside me. But I know something is wrong. I feel the surrounding. How many hours have I been sleeping from when Luna and I spoke? I stood for an unknown reason. There, I realize that there"s something beating on my wrist. I looked at it. I almost lost my breath.
My wrist is showing the total. The combined points are taken by our group. The speed of my heart accelerates automatically. I felt a mix of fear and nervousness. It just means one. I flicked my trembling wrist. I wasn"t able to breathe at what I saw next. I covered my mouth with my shaky hands.
It"s written in red on my pale skin. 51:43:09. The countdown. The remaining time before wipeout.
I stayed standing inside the cave. Still and unresponsive. I don"t know what to do. It seems all my preparations are suddenly erased in my mind and it became blank. Every second is elapsing fast. I tried to breathe deeply. I went outside with my legs trembling. I looked up and watched the dark sky. A team"s name is flashing in a slightly faded yellowish light. Dione. Dione holds the most points in this time.
Calm down, Shia. Again I say to my brain. I need to calm down. I watched my wrist again. If Dione is leading and Lucas is still alive, it means there are three groups that are sure to be still in the arena and has a hope to win. The Hesperia, Boran, and Dione. Lucas, I have to talk to Lucas.
I returned inside the cave again. I watched Luna and Gin. When they wake up they will know that the countdown has begun. The points I hold will no longer help them from this point in time. I need to hurry up. I want to leave and to never look at both of them again. But I still can"t stop myself.
I stare at Luna and mumbled a "thank you" then I sat in front of Gin who"s sleeping deeply. I watched the countdown on my wrists that"s moving fast. I watched Gin"s face. I took all of my efforts not to touch him because I was afraid I would wake him up. I managed to smile while staring at the man I fell in love with.
"Live, Gin. Do everything to live. Go back home."
And in that time, I knew it was the last time I would see his face.
I did everything to be calm and alert when I went out of the cave. I have no time to feel pity for myself, to be afraid, or to be nervous. I do not need emotions at this time. When I got away, I started running back to the place where Luna saw Lucas. I need to hurry. I don"t hold my time anymore.
But even though I told myself that I would be okay, this is my destiny and I have long accepted everything while running on the dark forest, I couldn"t stop my tears from falling. I wiped it and wanted to laugh. I looked above the trees and the sky where you could see the sun rising in a distance.
"I"m Shia Sheridan and f.u.c.k you, Linus Cup! Screw all of you in the system! Rot and burn to the pits of h.e.l.l!"
I was groggy when I woke up and noticed Gin sleeping beside me. I watched him soundly asleep while both of us were still leaning on the cave wall and our hands still clasping each other hands. I sat properly and slightly toke his hands away on me. I watched his condition. His fever slightly dropped.
I watched the surroundings. Dark. The moonlight peeping from between the vines covering the entrance of the cave.n I thought about Luna. Where is she? Did she not arrive yet? I was a bit startled when I felt movement in the surroundings. Someone entered the cave.
"Oh, you"re awake."
I blinked when I saw Luna. She dropped the water container she was carrying.
"How long have you been back?" I asked.
She shook her head. "I just came back. I just went to fetch some water in the river nearby. Sorry I didn"t woke you up."
I noticed her looking Gin who was sleeping. It seems like she wanted to ask me a question. But she chose to keep silent. This is one of the reasons why I admire Luna. She knows something is up. But she understands. There"s no need for words because she"s sensitive enough to know.
"How are you? Did you have a hard time finding?" I asked. "It would e better if you take a rest first."
"This is easier than expected because I remember the road." She was suddenly silent. She focused on the container the new plants in front of her. I feel like she was avoiding to talk about something.
"Luna." I said. "Did something happen?"
There"s a hint of uneasiness in my voice. She suddenly stopped at what she was doing. Several seconds pa.s.sed before she looked at me again.
"I saw him."
I froze. "W-who?" The moment the words are out, the answer to my own question entered my mind.
Luna looked away, seemingly hesitating to tell me. "Lucas. I saw Lucas."
I feel like I suddenly stop breathing. I don"t know if what I feel was either relief or fear that"s overwhelming me. A few words and a wave of emotion crashed into me. Concern. Fear.
"How is he?" I asked with a weak voice. "Is he okay? Is he injured?"
Luna seemed shocked and my continuous questions. She wasn"t able to immediately talk. "At this time of the game, it"s impossible if you are not injured. But he"s okay. We didn"t talk. I just sw him, just staring each other. He probably knows me. Then he turned back and walked away."
I don"t know what to say. There are so many things in my mind but it"s so chaotic to ask Luna. I stopped myself to ask her where I could find find him.
"Shia, why didn"t he hurt me?" Luna asked. "This is the phase where every point is crucial. Our groups are enemy. I"m an easy target but he didn"t do anything. "
It gradually sink in what Luna wanted to say. She looked straight at my eyes.”Why did he not fight for his team? Is he not planning to win? ”
An unexplained feeling engulfed me. Even I wanted to know the answer. We haven"t able to talk. I don"t know why Lucas is here and why he isn"t fighting.
“Shia, when the game ends-“
I cut her off. “Take a rest.”
I know the consequences of Luna"s question. It"s about me and Lucas. If there"s something that will happen to both of us when the Game is over. I don"t like think about that thing in front of Luna.
“Shi“
Luna stared at me. Trace of concern and intense fear can be heard on her voice. Not for herself but for me. Does she know about my plan? Did she feel it that"s she"s this nervous?
I leaned against the wall again and turned to Gin. He move a bit. But continued to be in a deep sleep. Gin looks so calm. It was not like earlier, always groaning in pain. It was so peaceful to look at his every breath. I smiled. I want this one. I want it to be my last memories from him. I want to remember this moment.
“You"ve fallen for him, haven"t you?”
I suddenly turned to Luna. She"s looking at both Gin and I. "You know our Captain." she pointed out. She knows it or maybe it"s her mere a.s.sumption. I wanted to deny but I"m already tired. I didn"t just fell for him, Luna. I hit the ground with a loud thud.
She leaned against the wall opposite to mine, and now we are both facing each other.” Luna, thank you.” I said. She seemed surprised by what I just said.She stared at me wondering.
“For what?” she asked.
I shrugged. “I don"t know.” I answered. I looked at the wall behind her unconsciously. “You are like a sibling, do you know that?” I said. “Cheerful, kind, thoughtful.”
I saw Luna stunned. “In the world we live, it"s hard to see someone like you. So every time you worry about me I often don"t know what to do.”
I laughed superficially. “I see all your efforts, but I don"t know how to repay it. I"m not accustomed someone worrying about me. So I apologize to the things that I did when we were together.”
She slightly smiled. “When you are being ill-tempered? When you suddenly turned silent? Or is it that usual look of yours that I"m already I"m used to?” she said smiling.
“What look?” I asked with a frown.
She suddenly laughed. This is the first time I heard her laugh at this place, and maybe the last one. “That kind of face, sometimes frowning or staring seriously, but often no emotion.”
“Seriously.”
“Hey, I"m just stating a fact here.” She said while restraining her smile. “Especially in your early days at the Academy. It"s like I"m staring at a blank wall. You rarely showed emotion.”
I gave her a pointed look, trying hard to suppress a smile. “Blank wall?”
“Yeah.” she smiled while nodding her head in agreement. “You were that cold.”
In the middle of the dark and cold air of the twilight, are our quiet wails can only be heard inside the cave. I would miss this.
“But did you know?” she said. I noticed her voice suddenly turned serious. “I"m always grateful that you became a member of the group. I know it"s a product of a cruel by chance but I can"t imagine Team Hesperia without a Shia Sheridan. “
I don"t know if that"s how I also feel. If I did not go in the Academy, maybe I"m still in our town, both Lucas and I, doing the same old stuff, sometimes messing around, laughing in the midst of problems. But I can"t even imagine that in exchange for it is without knowing Luna, the group, Sir Apollo and Miss Aura, Gin.
There"s no use in regretting things like failed decision and imagining the alternative. Maybe I"m meant to be here, to meet them, to see that there is a life way beyond the dirty downtown streets, rusty rooftops, and people with unrealized dreams buried six feet under the ground. Maybe the circ.u.mstances put me here because there is something I"m supposed to find or understand.
And I did.
I noticed Luna was yawning. She is definitely tired. “Luna.”
She snapped back in attention. “Yes?”
I watched her. I didn"t speak immediately. In that time I didn"t know why I said it. Maybe I felt it that it would be our last conversation.
“I didn"t regret that I met you.” I said. “Where ever all of these leads, remember that I was happy. I will never forget this- I will never forget the group. “
She smiled at what I said. “Me too.”
I tried to smile to hide the feeling that made every limb of my body tremble in pain. “Let"s sleep.”
“Good night, Shia.”
I watched Gin beside me and turned to Luna and smiled.
“Good night.”
—
A strange thing woke me up. I opened my eyes, a dark and silent surrounding greeted me. Luna is still peacefully sleeping in opposite to me and Gin beside me. But I know something is wrong. I feel the surrounding. How many hours have I been sleeping from when Luna and I spoke? I stood for an unknown reason. There, I realize that there"s something beating on my wrist. I looked at it. I almost lost my breath.
My wrist is showing the total. The combined points taken by our group. The speed of my heart accelerates automatically. I felt a mix of fear and nervousness. It just means one. I flicked my trembling wrist. I wasn"t able to breathe at what I saw next. I covered my mouth with my shaky hands.
It"s written in red on my pale skin. 51:43:09. The countdown. The remaining time before wipeout.
I stayed standing inside the cave. Still and unresponsive. I don"t know what to do. It seems all my preparations are suddenly erased in my mind and it became blank. Every second is elapsing fast. I tried to breathe deeply. I went outside with my legs trembling. I looked up and watched the dark sky. A team"s name is flashing in a slightly faded yellowish light.Dione. Dione holds the most points in this time.
Calm down, Shia. Again I say to my brain. I need to calm down. I watched my wrist again. If Dione is leading and Lucas is still alive, it means there are three groups that are sure to be still in the arena and has a hope to win. The Hesperia, Boran, and Dione. Lucas, I have to talk to Lucas.
I returned inside the cave again. I watched Luna and Gin. When they wake up they will know that the countdown has begun. The points I hold will no longer help them from this point of time. I need to hurry up. I want to leave and to never look at both of them again. But I still can"t stop myself.
I stare at Luna and mumbled a ‘thank you" then I sat in front of Gin who"s sleeping deeply. I watched the countdown on my wrists that"s moving fast. I watched Gin"s face. I took all of my effort not to touch him because I was afraid I would wake him up. I managed to smile while staring at the man I fell in love with.
“Live, Gin. Do everything to live. Go back home.”
And in that time, I knew it was the last time I would see his face.
—
I did everything to be calm and alert when I went out of cave. I have no time to feel pity on myself, to be afraid, or to be nervous. I do not need emotions at this time. When I got away, I started running back to the place where Luna saw Lucas. I need to hurry. I don"t hold my time anymore.
But even though I told myself that I would be okay, this is my destiny and I have long accepted everything, while running on dark forest, I couldn"t stop my tears from falling. I wiped it and wanted to laugh. I looked above the tress and the sky where you could see the sun rising in a distance.
“I"m Shia Sheridan and f.u.c.k you, Linus Cup! Screw all of you in the system! Rot and burn to the pits of h.e.l.l!”