Chapter 76: Go Home (1)
Pitch black.
Everything was pitch black. It was as if the sun had never risen since the last time I saw it. I felt the heat in my skin but I could not see it shine. I wasn"t sure what to feel. Maybe it"s too late for me. I had the feeling that whatever else happen to me now, I could accept my end.
Life can give me its best shot but I cannot be shaken anymore.
I walked to the stream by following its sound. I weakly stumbled on my way, colliding with the trees and plants that I pa.s.sed by. I could feel the movements in the jungle but I couldn"t see them. It was difficult for me to feel the surrounding when it"s too still.
Stillness and silence is the enemy of my senses.
I finally arrived by the stream and immediately reached for the water. I felt the cold water in my palms before splashing it to my face. I was hoping that it would wash away the poison from my eyes. But I knew, nothing I do now can change it.
Was the healer really not lying? Will my eyesight never come back? Even for just a moment? Will I never see Lucas even for the last time?
I splashed the cold water into my face once again. No. It should not end here. I can still find him. I still have my senses and I know he"s here somewhere. I can almost feel his trails just like before when we were still in town. He was always going in the forest because of his ability. But I could easily find him with my ability and because of the familiar trails that he always left behind.
I went back to the fauna, slower and more cautious than before. One good thing about me losing my sight was that I can easily feel the movements and distinguish the noises around me. No matter how weak or small they were. My other senses have become more alert.
An unknown time, minutes or hours, had already pa.s.sed. I had no idea who was the leading group. I still couldn"t see the countdown on my wrist. There were a few seconds where I would feel hopeless, demoralized, as I can"t still see the way ahead. But when I think that Lucas was just nearby, my feet would start walking once again.
After a few hours of walking, I suddenly felt the much colder air. It started blowing out harsh. I even felt the leaves and plants around moving more vigorously. I also lost the heat and light of the daytime that caused my eyes to hurt earlier. And then suddenly, I felt the cold things that struck my arm. I then realized what it was. Rain. It"s raining in the woods.
I didn"t know why but I just stood on my place. I simply let the rain and its every drop pour to me. They came from tree leaves, or just the plants, to the dry leaves on the ground. I wrapped in its familiar sound. I looked up to heaven and closed my unseeing eyes. I allowed myself to meet the rain. I remembered when I was young, I often did this. I shut them firmer. I cannot help but have a foolish wish - that everything was just a dream. I wished that when I open my eyes, everything will return back to how they used to be.
"Shia?"
I suddenly opened my eyes. I blinked and tried feeling the surroundings. I looked in front of me, and there he was, standing and watching me. Although I cannot see him, I know he"s there. From his stance, his body build, and his familiar voice. I almost believed that I had finally woken up from this nightmare and back in the past. But in the darkness that surrounded me, I knew I was still in the arena - we were still.
"W—what are you doing here?" He spoke slowly, seemingly incredulous. "Why are you here alone? What happened to your eyes?"
I felt the pouring rain on his shoulder, along his hair, on his very familiar face. I was ambushed by the familiarity, and it"s overwhelming. I have never felt this feeling since I left our town. And now all I wanted was to let the feeling sink in. It"s like coming back after a long and faraway journey and realized that everything was the same from the place you called home.
"Lucas."
I smiled. He stayed in his place. "Shia, you shouldn"t be here and your eyes —"
I shook my head. "I"m fine." He"s here, I told myself again and again in my mind. I finally found Lucas.
We kept facing each other. He was watching me while I was simply facing him. I wanted to see him. My two eyes wanted to see that he"s okay. I tried in vain to see his silhouette in the middle of the rain but I know that only image I was seeing in our conversation at the moment was just from the memory of our last meeting.
He walked closer to me, seemingly uncertain whether he should continue. "Shia, you shouldn"t be here," he repeated. "You should be with everyone."
And at that time, one of my questions was answered. Can I really leave him? Seeing him now, standing in front of me, I found the answer. I can never leave him here, alone, to die.
He finally got next to me and watched me closer. His sight landed on my eyes. I heard him breathe deeply and quietly cursed out. He only cursed when he was angry with himself.
I knew how much he wanted to say. I felt him. But he chose to let it go for now. "We need to find shelter," and he supported me.
"I can handle myself, Lucas," I said.
"I know you can do it yourself even in this situation," I heard him said. "But being able does not mean no one will worry about it. You may not be hurt but there are those who felt hurt every time they see you like that."
We got under a tall tree. From the raindrops here, I knew it"s one of the biggest and tallest trees in the forest. It created a cave—like structure on the ground. We entered inside. I looked up as if expecting to see the insides of a tree.
"What happened?" I heard Lucas" question. His voice created a slight echo through the hollowed s.p.a.ce of the tree above us. "Shia, I didn"t— You are not supposed to be— "
"Lucas," I said causing him to pause. "Do you remember your birthday? When we accepted an order from the diner to get something from the woods in exchange for a plate of food for your family?"
He was distracted by what I said. I kept looking outside, making the rainfall. I know where he is, watching me. I want to touch her, just to be sure she"s here. I"m with him again.
"The rain caught us in the forest and we covered under a tree. It didn"t stop, we didn"t know that there was a storm, so we ended up spending your birthday under a freaking tree."
"I remember." he calmly said.
"Do you still remember when there was a celebration in the town? It"s raining back then too; it was muddy everywhere. We weren"t let in even when the Chairman invited every people in town. But you slipped from the back, climbed the wall, and when you returned you brought back a lot amount of food. I laughed again and again because the helper wondered about the missing tray of food."
"Shia."
"Well, do you also remember when we pa.s.sed that vineyard? We were together with your other friend. He said that it"s fine to get some as his father was one of the watchers. And while we were on the middle of picking, the real watchman saw us. We were chased. And you didn"t leave me. You were wounded by the wire—fence around the farm but you didn"t say until we got home."
"Shia, why are you—"
"You"ve been hurt for so many times because of me; you"ve faced worse because of me. But you never complained. After everything else, we"ll just go home and laugh after all that"s happened, laughed at our reactions, our faces, and how we"re going to run like no tomorrow again."
I fully looked at him. "Lucas, tell me, how can I leave you?" I asked. "How can I leave you in this place if you are all that I have? How can I just forget everything? How could I replace those things that made up my very own self?"
A tear dropped from my eyes. I immediately wiped it. I didn"t know that it could still produce tears on its current state.
"When both of my caretakers died and we were on the bridge and I wanted to jump, didn"t you say that you would be there? That you would never leave me, that we"ll be together whatever happens. Lucas… whatever happens, right? Do you remember that? We promised on it, didn"t we?"
"But Shia—"
"I will never leave you." I said. "Lucas, I will not leave you like you never leave me. I"m staying.
There was a momentary silence before he spoke again. He breathed deeply before saying, "I thought when I joined here, as I worked hard to become stronger, that I could bring you out of t.i.tan Academy. They promised me, Shia. The Headmaster of Boran promised me whether I win or lose this game, they will bring you out of that Academy, all in exchange for me joining this game."
I was dumbstruck with what he said.
"I didn"t know that you"re here. They didn"t say anything to me. Maybe all of this is my fault. Shia Sheridan who"s imprisoned at t.i.tan Academy, you need to let her out. That"s what I said in our agreement. But I should have doubted when they said they could not find you, that there"s no one with the name of Shia Sheridan in the t.i.tan Academy"s prison cells. I didn"t know that you were already a student; that we"re both being trained for this game."
He looked away.
"It was like destiny was playing with me the moment I saw you at the stage while each group are being introduced. I asked myself what did we do wrong to be played like this?" I felt his voice breaking. "Shia, I"m here to get you out. Shia, you have to live."
"Why?" I asked bitterly. "Lucas, all of these—for what?"
He was tongue—tied. "For your new companions … your new friends. Everything will be alright when you get out of here. You don"t need to go back to the past, Shia—"
"How can I do that if I don"t have you, Lucas? What"s the use of those things without you?" I shook gravely. "I"m staying here beside you. What is there I"m going back to if you"re not there, Lucas?"
"But there are people waiting for you to come back," he said this calmly but I knew even though I cannot see him, I knew it"s hard for him to say that. "I"ve seen your comrades, I know they will protect you. They"re not like us, but I know they"re not going to abandon you. They are just like me, Shia. We love you so."