"Can I really? You are kind!"
"I want to hear about the ma.n.u.script. Was it accepted?" she said very gently, with her hand on mine.
"Well, that"s soon told," I answered. "It wasn"t."
She said nothing. Probably she knew that the mere expression "I am sorry" would be inadequate to say to a man who felt every failure as keenly as I did, and I hastened to remove her difficulty.
"Don"t let us talk of it," I said. "Tell me of the new conception."
"It is to be called "The Death of Hyacinthus,"" she said, glancing at the vast, vacant canvas, on which, doubtless, her eye saw the whole vision already. "The scene is to be flooded with sunlight, that pours in upon a green, open glade. The life-sized figure of Hyacinthus will be standing three-quarters towards the spectator, and a little towards the rush of light from the setting sun. His eyes are to be fixed upon the quoit which will be here, at this end of the canvas, opposite him.
It will be tinged blood-red in the sun"s rays, and seem a little above him."
She paused, with her eyes on the canvas. She had drifted away on the stream of her idea. "And what about the two G.o.ds?" I asked.
She started.
"Oh yes, I was going to tell you. Zephyrus will only be represented by the effect of the wind seen on the bushes, on the trees, and every blade of gra.s.s or fern in the picture. These small tamarisk trees that fringe the glade will be bent nearly double. The spirit of the wind must be in the whole painting. That will be the great effect, of course."
"And Apollo?"
"I cannot put him in. You see, I do want this to be taken at the Academy next year, and though they have scores of nude women, they would not have a nude G.o.d at any price: and it would be too inartistic to clothe Apollo. So I have supposed him invisible; being a G.o.d, he would be so to all except Hyacinthus. Simply his hand, holding the quoit, will be faintly suggested, and the light allowed to fall through it."
There was silence. "Do you like it?" she said suddenly to me.
"Yes. I think the idea is unconventional: but on that account you will probably be rejected."
"I must risk it. Hyacinthus is to be in white, and must look radiantly, gloriously happy."
"I say, do you want me to look radiantly, gloriously happy-because that will be rather difficult just now."
"As far as you can. You see, the point is that he was struck and killed in the moment of supreme confidence and light-hearted joy."
"How very uncomfortable! Is that to be my fate?" I said laughing.
"Well, will you, Victor?"
"Will I what?"
"Take your seat here, now, and let me sketch you?"
"Certainly; but I thought you said he was to be standing?"
"I don"t think I can take you for the whole figure. You are too much occupied to be able to spare the time. And I can find another model for the figure. I should like to take you for the whole, but you may be going away or something before the painting is finished. But in any case I have set my heart on giving him your head and neck."
"You flatter me awfully," I returned. "You shall have them--but that wretched Nous is outside all this time. May I let him in?"
"Oh yes! I did not know you had brought him!" she exclaimed, and ran herself to the door and called him in.
He came in meekly. And I stood where she had left me by the easel, and watched her bend over him and caress him, and I thought I was badly used.
"Now, will you sit there?" she said, coming back and indicating a chair.
I took it in silence. Then she paused, looking at me.
"What is it?" I said, enquiringly.
"Would you--" and she hesitated.
"Continue: command me."
"Could you take off your collar?"
"I think, perhaps, I could," I said, looking up into her serious face.
"I am not aware that it is an absolute fixture!"
She laughed, but she was seldom chaffed out of a reply.
"It might have been in one with the shirt!" she said.
"Far-seeing intuitiveness! I admit it might; but fortunately in this case it"s not. Then you"ll excuse me if I take off my coat?"
"Yes, I want you to--coat, collar, and tie; so that I can sketch your neck down to the base of the throat."
"Ah!" I said, drawing off my coat, "I was wondering how you were going to fix up Hyacinthus with a lavender tie!"
She deigned no answer to that, and sat down just in front of me. A piece of plain drawing paper was put upon the easel before the canvas.
"Will you raise your head more? and throw your eyes up? higher, above my head!"
"May I not look straight at you?"
"No: up! up! to the window above me!"
"Won"t you come and put me in the right position?"
"No. I am sure you have intellect enough to understand verbal directions."
"Well there," I said, throwing myself into the position she wanted; "that is easy: but how about that jolly expression? where"s that to come from?"
"Can"t you imagine for a moment that you are successful, and we are married?"
"A pretty good stretch of the imagination that!" I muttered, "as things are at present!"
And involuntarily I brought my eyes down from the window to the pale, delicate, abstracted face opposite me. I did not intend to convey any reproach to her, but perhaps she thought so, for she seemed to answer that which she took to be in my mind.
"But, Victor, you know," she said, laying down the pencil she had just taken up, "it is in your own hands. I am willing to marry you when you like!"
She said it very gently, but with just a touch of cold restraint that irritated me excessively.