Hinata received the official announcement of Eiji"s presumed death via a brief telegram a few days after receiving his letter. The village"s mayor had handed out the grim slips to everyone who had lined up at the school hall near the local shrine. He felt fortunate he had received a letter of his lover"s pa.s.sing words. The anguish on the women"s faces as they cried over their slips of paper stirred more pain to his heart. Not knowing what their husband"s last thoughts were would be a torture. If Hinata ever saw those visiting soldiers again, he would receive them properly with blessed thank-yous.Eiji"s osoushiki occurred a few days later. It was brief since the town priest had a lot to work through. All the old farmers and shop keepers whom he had made good friends with attended the otsuya the night before. They were also drinking for the loss of their sons who fought alongside Eiji at Iwo jima, which was a land far removed from his imagining.
Hinata frowned with the shame that he hadn"t been able to fight and die with his lover and father. If only he was deemed a man at the time of conscript, he would be also serving his country. His frail heart had made him unfit, and he was turned away. That hurt his pride. The only thing that kept him home was the promise he had made with Eiji to be waiting for him.
The cosy cottage they were meant to share felt empty. Dead silence lingered around the butsudan holding both his uncle and lover"s images.
"Not even a proper urn of ashes." Hinata sighed at the sight of the empty urn that had been sitting before Eiji"s image for 49 days.
A kotsuage couldn"t be performed since there wasn"t a body available. He prayed to Okamisama that Eiji was properly granted into the afterlife. In his heart he hoped this wasn"t necessary. Being presumed dead left a thread of hope of Eiji being alive in him.
"Nya!" Hinata heard the small cry next to him. He gave the fat tabby a weak smile and tender pat.
No time for wallowing in grief or speculation. He had the duty to place Eiji"s urn with his family"s ohaka. There was Tamchan to care for and his uncle"s shop to run. He had to keep going as Eiji had asked for him to do. Sakamoto-san, his shop neighbour, said that his son was returning from Koumi with a delivery for the store. He offered to have his son take him to the family grave site when he made the delivery.
The Chikafuji ohaka (Hinata"s family grave) was located a few miles outside of Koumi. Eiji had asked to be placed there when he was accepted into Hinata"s family, since he was disgraced from his own.
Hinata"s tiny village was a decent half a day"s journey to the site by truck. He was curious about Sakamoto-san"s son who was a returned soldier from Okinawa. He may have known Eiji. In his heart, he hoped he did.
Hinata checked that his navy-white obi was wrapped properly around his slender waist and his grey-green kimono made him an image of a respectful shopkeeper. He rechecked the yellow ribbon around his bun with his princely hand-mirror of painted flowers to a black surface (his mother"s gift to him).
"Good."
He heaved out a deep sigh and carefully stowed away the mirror in the wooden chest behind a pair of shoji panel doors, which were painted with a delicate scenery of mejiro perched on winter branches with buds vying for spring.
He slipped on his getas--neatly paired at the genkan--grabbed his day umbrella and stepped out of the cottage door with Tamchan following his heels.
"Now, be a good boy and protect the house," he ordered the cat.
Tamchan responded with a hearty yawn and droopy eyes ready for his usual nap.
Hinata set off down the gravel road for the main village block four miles down, which was four shops, the local school, Shinto shrine and community hall. The biggest of the shops was the dairy-grocery owned by Sakamoto-san and his family. On the grocery"s left was Ishikawa"s wagashi shop-cafe where the old ladies frequented for gossip during the day; it served as a restaurant and bar at night. Hinata"s dress shop was on the grocery"s right. It shared tenancy with Honda"s Bookstore, which Eiji had frequented regularly when he was in the area.
His thoughts lingered on the moments he saw Eiji having light conversation with Hondsan over a book they both liked. Thinking of those moments made him feel lonelier.
"Not good to think like this Hinchan." He shook the thought clear and gazed up to the sun on a calm blue sky.
The bitter scent from wild blooming shion tainted the air with a sensory reminder of the war"s cursed consequence. Being in the countryside, he was sheltered from the atrocities done to the major cities. It didn"t mean he was unaffected. The memory of the home he fled was still a vivid image.
His hand instinctively gripped at his collar when he recalled the blaring horns, jarring bangs and shuddering noises of metal raining down on him during last November"s air raid to level his home. It was thanks to Eiji and his father"s military training that they were able to take shelter in the street bunkers and survive the attack. His mother and siblings had relocated to Kure to be with his uncle on her side when their father resumed his post in the war. Eiji had accompanied him to Mimaki Village to succeed his uncle"s business. He felt fortunate they were able to spend a cosy home life together before Eiji left to honour his orders for Okinawa. The thought of his partner dying alone troubled him. It was a cruel fate that he wished he was able to take in place of his lover.
"Morning, Hinsan." A polite greeting pulled Hinata from his dark thoughts.
Hinata"s attention returned to the present and the young teenage girl sidling up next to him like a little sister. Mei-chan was very much like that to him. She was Sakamoto-san"s youngest daughter. They became close when she found out that Eiji was his partner and they were both waiting for their lovers to return from war. She was betrothed--by arrangement--to Ishikawsan"s son, Kou. It was a dream come true for her as she had been secretly loving her senior for a long time.
"Um, did you try Ishikawsan"s new sweet?" She was fidgeting with some of her modest white-blue floral kimono. Her getas were striking up gravel with her shuffle.
Hinata smiled at the young girl"s attempt for small talk whilst hiding what she really wanted to say to him. Unlike himself, Mei-chan"s fiance had returned to the village. Although, he suspected Kou"s mind was still fighting the lost war as the man didn"t stray to far from the sweet shop"s top floor.
"No, but I may try later. Also, would you like to see the new fashion that is coming in from Ginza?"
He asked, but knew she would likely say "no" as she wasn"t comfortable wearing what she had deemed "foreign clothing", preferring to don kimonos and yukatas in the summer season.
Mei twirled the dainty strand of her brown hair, which hung down the sides of her youthful, heart-shaped face. Her large dark eyes met Hinata"s cheerful light-brown pair with maidenly innocence and a cordial smile from full lips, which lifted her round, supple cheeks.
Hinata thought Kou-san would be a strange man not to find Mei-chan attractive. Unless his preference was similar to his own.
"If it"s that foreign clothing, no thank you, I"ll pa.s.s." She declined with a polite bow.
It was as Hinata had guessed. He promised to inform her when a new shipment of kimonos had arrived. They parted ways when they neared their shops.