To My Sunflower

His face lapsed into a dreamy memory. "Nothing like the aroma of smelting steel and the cool taste of a soda pop from Mick"s Diner. My old man used to take me for soda pop and a hot dog on my birthdays to that place."

Sean sighed despondently. "The last time we celebrated my birthday was when I was sixteen. That was the last time my old man had a son."

Eiji and the others listened at the good upbringing Sean had.

He was the son of a working cla.s.s, G.o.d fearing, family. His father was an engineer for a car manufacture, bringing home enough money for living despite the hard times of recession.

His mother was a good housewife and respected member of the community. She was part of the PTA, played piano for their church choir and was part of a neighbourhood network of mothers who met up every Tuesday to play cards and gossip over who"s-who.

Every Sunday they never missed a minute of attending their church gatherings. All the families in their small town, on the out skirts of the city and its smelting steelworks, were G.o.d fearing Irish Catholics.

They respected and listened to the resident priest who was a husband of a picture perfect wife with her white gloved hands and modest grey-white dresses and heels. They had yet to grace their family with brats.

"She was young with great fashion sense despite the combination of grey and white she chose to pull off. A lot of men fancied the look of her. Some were even bold to pa.s.s flirts at her. She"d bat her eyes and feign Little Miss Innocent." Sean scoffed. "She"d give me the eye every so often when I attended church."

"Hah! She had the eyes for you." Tyne disrupted Sean"s narrative.

"Yeah. Unfortunately." Sean sighed.

At first, he felt the attention should be seen as a mark towards manhood. It was only normal for woman to be attracted to men and vice versa.

She wasn"t the only female paying him particular attention. It seemed, his look was the type women liked.

"Why wouldn"t they love a hunk with a gorgeous baby face, bright green eyes and skilful hands." Sean chuckled and wiggled his fingers over Kei"s neck.

"Get bent you freak." Kei groaned.

"You love me and you know it." Sean wrapped an arm around Kei"s shoulder.

Kei sighed and let Sean do what he wanted.

"Did anything happen between you and her?" Eiji asked to bring Sean"s attention back to his story.

"Yes, no, kind of." Sean screwed up his nose at the thought. "Well, after a number of subtle hints, she asked me out."

"But she was married?!" Eiji gasped.

"That was my reaction." Sean chuckled. "She had hired me to mow her lawn a few weeks prior to declaring her intentions. So, I went to her house to reject her offer and quit my job."

Sean sighed when he mentioned that his plans were going well until her younger brother entered the house.

He was a couple of years older than him, and had just returned from his training for the war. He was granted a week leave before his unit was to be shipped off to Europe.

"I was smitten. I still remember him in his army uniform smelling of fresh linen." Sean dreamily recounted his first meeting with the man.

Her brother was clean-shaven with a neat crop of kitten-soft blond hair, bright blue eyes and chiselled manly features.

"We played a game of cards over moonshine. For hours, I pretended not to ogle at his face over my winning hands. He went his way none the wise, leaving me behind to deal with a dilemma." Sean expelled a weary sigh, again.

"I had no idea what to do or think. The church taught us that only men make love to women."

Sean theatrically added. "Other ideas be a sin for the devil"s favour!"

When he had confided his turmoil to his mother for guidance, he naturally received a heavy handed response. She dragged him (as soon as he left his bath) into a broom closet and locked him in as punishment and means to drive out the devil from him.

For days, she prayed and repeatedly banged her head against the closet door as penance for birthing the devil"s child, who was shivering naked in the locked closet and hearing nothing but heavy, rhythmic banging from the other side of the door. If it wasn"t the banging, it was his mother"s wailing prayers or the sound of his own breathing.

People who came to look for him were sent away with a lie that he had run off with a girl.

When his father discovered him naked and delirious to resemble a corpse, he called their priest to perform an exorcism on him. In his father"s eyes, his mother was doing the right thing after he found out the evil that befell their son.

Neither recognized a truth of their actions; that they were willing to kill their own son just because he was s.e.xually attracted to men. No. The Sean they had raised, laughed and shared birthdays with over soda pop and hot dogs, was taken over by the devil! They faced a monster that carried the image of their son.

"I was eventually freed by our priest when he felt that his exorcism had worked on me." He scoffed bitterly at the memory.

Sean complied with the charade, too exhausted, beaten and starved to complain.

He was freed from that _closet_, but forced to live a lie that drove him to enlisting for the navy. Believing that fighting a n.o.ble war would grant him the right to be a human being again. His parents also agreed with the decision.

"I absorbed my training, focusing on the will of G.o.d to help me fight an approaching war." Sean soberly continued.
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His focus and dedication earned him stripes and respects from his squad members. He was soon elevated to a rank within his five years of training.

"I realized my apt.i.tude for languages when I studied code breaking."

As he rose to rank, he felt his soul plummet to the darkest depths of hatred.

The enemy was everyone not American, and he wasn"t shy to declare this. His att.i.tude earned him more favours and a further elevation of rank. His versatile nature, task-focus mindset and approachable appeal a.s.signed him to a role in a counter intelligence unit as a German pretender.

"For months I learned to be a German doctor. Even earned a medical pract.i.tioner"s certificate."

Sean closed his eyes, reliving a painful memory. "Just before I earned my right to practice medicine, I failed a surgery that cost an innocent man"s life."

The man was an American civilian who was treated at Sean"s navy hospital for appendectomy. Sean hadn"t slept for days, doing back to back treatments. It was his first operation, which ended up a botch job after he had cut too much into the abdominal wall to cause a ma.s.s haemorrhage. The man died from blood loss on the operating table.

He faced a court martial and was acquitted from malpractice and manslaughter. The judge had concluded that the death as the victim"s risk towards surgery and nothing more. As the victim was of poor origins, his family wasn"t able to appeal against a judge"s decision in a military court.

"I was trained to view people objectively." Sean removed his arm from Kei, and shuffled slightly away to be at a distance.

"I visited that man"s grave and saw his mother and young children crying over their loss. Not a penny left to them. It was the moment I realized my whole life and outlook was wrong. I had to change."

He wholehearted accepted his medic post for Pearl Harbor not long afterwards.

"If my hands could save more good lives as a doctor and take away bad lives of our enemies, I could redeem my humanity. I had thought." He released an uneven breath.

"I"m not proud of the person I was, but meeting Ray gave me a chance to be a man again. A decent person. Even though I don"t deserve the chance." Sean smiled at the thought of his lover.

"Somehow, we both knew what we were at first sight." He lowered his eyes, downcast.

A moment of heavy silence lingered around the men.

"Okamisama may not show his hand, but he does want the best for us. It"s up to us to seek out our happiness and meaning of life." Eiji broke the silence to console Sean.

"Does he?" Sean"s eyes glistened with pent-up tears and lingering hope. "My mother was convinced I was a monster. Is your Okamisama also kind to monsters? Does your G.o.d give monsters a second chance?"

Eiji frowned and flicked Sean"s forehead. "Feels like the head of man to me."

"Hinata"s father once said to me, _"a man"s path is laid with wrong doings to make right. They"ll question your existence. It"s those times you need to listen to the answers your heart gives you, for they"ll always be your truth"._ You"re such a man who"s faced-down the demons of right and wrong doings to realize your truths."

Sean smiled weakly. "Redemption is possible?"

"We"re all sinners before our G.o.ds eyes. We fight our wars, declare hate for each other. Yet, I, who should be your enemy, stands by you because we"re both guided by our hearts. We"ve faced who we are and chose to see and learn from our mistakes. What"s the path of G.o.d anyway, if not seeing the demons within ourselves and deciding to overcome them for a greater good and happiness." Eiji rea.s.sured Sean. "Don"t be afraid to see your good self."

Sean bellowed with a hearty chuckle, feeling a weight lift from his heart, mind and soul.

"Thank you, Eiji-sama. As love"s comrades, you"re always and ever my friend." Sean smiled warmly to Eiji.

"Gah! You sound like a couple of prissy nuns. Next, you"ll be preaching the Lamb of G.o.d gaveth our daily bread s.h.i.t!" Kei added to the conversation.

"You"re my friend too." Sean hugged Kei.

He laughed when Kei shook himself free from his hug and shoved him to the ground.

"Can G.o.d add cheese and ham to the bread slices? What I wouldn"t give for a sandwich right now." Tyne added with a timely tummy grumble.

"What"s your story Tyne?" Eiji pa.s.sed the question to Tyne.