"You are a _brute_, Harold! You have no heart! How dare you do it--how _dare_ you make her suffer so!"
He did not answer, but turned his head aside, and stared steadily out of the window. Rhoda glared at him with smarting eyes, and suddenly saw something which put a check on her excitement. Harold"s profile was turned toward her, and the light showed great drops of moisture standing upon the brow, and rolling slowly down the cheek. She realised, with a pang, that once again she had been too quick in her judgment. In spite of his firmness, Harold had suffered more than she, more than her mother--ay, perhaps, more than Evie herself!
CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR.
ALL"S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.
Despite the painful incidents of Evie"s convalescence, Christmas was a happy season at Erley Chase, for it had always been a tradition of the household to make much of this festival, and Mrs Chester could not bring herself to change her habits as the years advanced. Every twenty- sixth of December Mr Chester would say solemnly, "This is the last time! I cannot let you wear yourself out like this. When Christmas cards have to be sent off by the hundred, and presents by the score, it is time to call a halt, for what has been a pleasure becomes a burden.
Next year you drop these outside people, and think only of our immediate circle," and Mrs Chester would murmur meekly, "Yes, dear; of course.
Just as you wish," and begin laying in stores for next Christmas at her first visit to the January sales. There was a cupboard in one of the spare rooms which was dedicated entirely to the keeping of presents, and into it went all manner of nick-nacks which were picked up during the year--bazaar gleanings, in the shape of cushions, cosies, and table- cloths, relics of travel, and a hundred and one articles useful and ornamental, which had been bought because they were so cheap, and it really seemed wicked to leave them lying on the shop counter! When a need arose, as when a birthday was suddenly remembered the day before it fell due, or an anniversary suggested the propriety of a little offering, it was the easiest thing in the world to poke about in the cupboard until a suitable gift was discovered.
Laura Everett was much amused by this novel way of apportioning presents, which was so strangely different from that practised at her own home. When she was wheeled into the morning-room a few days before Christmas, it was to find a small bazaar of fancy articles spread on tables and sofas, while Mrs Chester sat checking off the names written on a long sheet of paper, and Rhoda cried out: "Here"s a yellow silk cushion. Whom do we know who has got a complexion that can bear being set off against a background of sulphur yellow?" ... "Here"s a gorgeous table centre, quite beautifully worked. Whom do we know who is old- fashioned enough to use table centres still?" ... "Here"s a piece of Turkish embroidery, which would be the very thing to cover that shabby old sofa at the Vicarage; it was absolutely in holes the last time I saw it."
"Turkish embroidery--Mrs Mason. Thank goodness, that"s one thing settled! Wrap it up at once, Rhoda dear. It will be one thing less to do," cried Mrs Chester in a tone of relief, while Evie held up her hands in astonishment.
"Of all the extraordinary ways of giving presents! To have a room full of things and then to puzzle as to whom you can give them! This is indeed a new experience for me. When we talk over our presents at home it is to wonder how in the world we can contrive to buy twenty things for nineteen shillings. Such a wholesale way of managing things I never imagined in my wildest moments."
She gave a little sigh of envy as she looked at the lavish profusion which lay around; yet, after all, there was a pleasure in contriving those simple gifts--in putting in delicate st.i.tches to add to the value of cheap materials, a triumph in manufacturing something out of nothing, which Rhoda and her mother could never enjoy! She was not at all sure that that old home fashion was not the sweeter after all.
While the apportioning of gifts was going on in the morning-room, the cook and her kitchen maids were busy at work in the great nagged kitchen, manufacturing all sorts of dainties to be packed away in the hampers ranged in readiness along the walls. It was a sight to see the good things laid out on the tables, and Evie was carried down on her chair to admire and praise with the rest, and to watch the interesting process of packing. Far and wide these hampers went, carrying good cheer into many a home where otherwise there would have been scanty provisions for the day of rejoicing, and bringing unexpected gleams of sunshine to many an anxious heart. Needless to say, one of the best was addressed to a country parsonage especially dear to Evie"s heart, and was accompanied by a parcel of presents, which had not been lightly bought, but worked by loving fingers during long hours of convalescence.
Christmas Day itself was a busy occasion, when the home party had little leisure to think of themselves, so unending was the stream of pensioners which came up to the Chase to receive their gifts, and to be fed and warmed in the gaily-decorated rooms. Dinner was served early, so that the servants might be free to have their festivities in the evening, and at nine o"clock all the employees on the estate came up, dressed in their best, and danced with the servants in the hall. Mr and Mrs Chester, with Harold and Rhoda, honoured the a.s.sembly by joining in the first dance, and Evie sat in her wheeled chair, looking on and trying to keep a smiling face, the while she fought one of the mental battles which seemed to meet her on every step of the road to recovery. She had been so much occupied grieving over the serious financial loss which her inability to work would involve, that she had taken little thought of the pleasures from which she was debarred; but, after all, she was but a girl, and a girl with a keen capacity for enjoyment, and it was a very keen pang which went through her heart as she listened to the seductive strains of the band, and watched the couples glide slowly by. The dark brows twitched as if in pain, and she drew aside the folds of the pink tea-gown to cast a longing glance at the little useless feet stretched before her. A sudden remembrance arose of the day when Rhoda protested in dismay at the thought of wearing the ugly regulation school shoes, and of her own confession of love for pretty slippers, of the satisfaction with which she had donned the same on Thursday evenings, and danced about the hall as blithely as any one of her pupils. Those days were over--for ever over; she would never again know the joy of any rapid, exhilarating motion. She lifted her hand to wipe away a tear, hoping to escape observation the while, but, to her dismay, Harold stood by her side, and his eyes met hers with an expression of pained understanding. Any reference to her infirmity seemed to distress him so acutely that the first instinct was to comfort him instead of herself, and she smiled through her tears, saying in the sweetest tones of her always sweet voice:
"Don"t, please! Don"t look so sorry! It was babyish of me, but just for one moment--I was so fond of dancing, you know, and I had never realised before--"
"Just so. You realise fresh losses every day. I know what you must feel. You have not been babyish at all, but most brave and heroic."
Evie sighed. "It"s nice to be praised, but I feel as if I don"t deserve it. I am not in the least brave at heart... Sometimes I almost dread getting strong, for then I shall have to face so much... I"m conceited, too, for I hate the idea of limping, and being stiff and ungraceful. I thought I did not care for appearance, but I did--oh, a great deal! It is a humiliating discovery, and I am trying hard to cure myself, but pride dies slowly! There was a girl at school who was lame. I used to be so sorry for her, and yet, compared with other misfortunes, it is a very little thing. I can still move about and use my faculties. It is not so bad, after all!"
"Yes," said Harold, unexpectedly. "It _is_ very bad. It is a mistake to pretend to yourself that it is only a small trial, for it"s not true, and the pretence is sure to break down some day, and leave you where you were. It is a great affliction for people to be crippled, even when they are old and have lost their energy; but for a girl like you it is ten times worse. Don"t be too hard on yourself, and expect resignation to come all at once. I believe the best plan is to face it fully, and to say to yourself, `It"s a big test--one of the biggest I could have to bear. I shall feel the pinch not to-day only, but to-morrow, and the next year, and as long as I live. It is going to take a big effort to save myself from growing bitter and discouraged, but it"s worth fighting, for my whole life hangs on the result. If I can succeed--if I can rise above infirmity, and keep a bright, uncomplaining spirit"--"
He broke off suddenly, and Evie breathed a quick "Yes, yes, I know! I feel that too. Thank you so much. It is good to talk to someone who understands. It helps me on."
"Don"t thank me. It is like my presumption to venture to preach to you.
But you have helped me so much that when I saw you in trouble I could not be silent. I was obliged to do what I could."
"I--I have helped you?" repeated Evie, blankly; and a flush of colour rose in her pale cheeks, which made her look for one moment the happy, blooming girl of old. "In what way have I ever helped you, or been anything but an anxiety and care?"
But Harold did not answer, and that was the last chance of a _tete-a- tete_ conversation that evening, for presently she was carried off to her own room, and helped into bed, where she lay awake for a long, long time, staring before her in the twilight, and recalling the lessons of consolation to which she had just listened. It must surely have been wonderfully wise, wonderfully true, since it did not so much comfort, as do away with the very necessity for comfort! She could not delude herself that she felt sad or despondent, or anything but mysteriously happy and at rest, as she lay smiling softly to herself in the flickering firelight.
Two days later came a delightful surprise. Evie and her late pupil were sitting in the morning-room writing letters of thanks to the many donors of Christmas presents, when the door opened and shut, and someone walked into the room. It was such an ordinary, matter-of-fact entrance that neither of the writers troubled to look up, taking it for granted that the new-comer was Mrs Chester, who had left the room but a few minutes before. Two minutes later, however, Evie finished her sheet and lifted her eyes to make a casual remark, when she promptly fell back in her chair with a shriek, and a hand pressed over her heart. Rhoda jumped up in alarm, and then--was it a dream, or did a well-known figure really lean up against the mantelpiece, in familiar, gentlemanly att.i.tude, a roguish smile curling the lips, and little eyes alight with mischief?
"Tom, Tom! Oh, Tom, you angel! Where in the world have you come from?"
cried Rhoda, rushing forward with outstretched arms, in a very whirlwind of welcome. "How perfectly delicious to see you again, and what a terrific start you gave me!"
"Oh, what a surprise!" chanted Tom easily, rubbing her cheeks as if to wipe away the kisses pressed upon it, and advancing to greet Evie with a nonchalance which for once was a trifle overdone, though neither of her friends was in the least danger of mistaking her real feelings. "The same to you, and many of them," she continued, sitting down without waiting for an invitation, and smiling round in genial fashion. "It really was as good as a play, standing there, and watching you two scribbling away with faces as solemn as judges--and what a squeal Evie gave! It made me jump in my skin! Yes; I"m visiting my female relative, and determined to pay you a visit even if it were only for an hour. It can"t be much longer, for we have a tea fight on this afternoon, when every spinster in the neighbourhood is coming to stare at me and deliver her views on higher education. Such a lark! Some of them strongly approve, and others object, and I agree with each in turn, until the poor dears are so bamboozled they don"t know what to do. They think I am an amiably-disposed young person, but defective in brains, and poor aunt Jim gets quite low in her mind, for she wants me to impress them, and branch off into Latin and Greek as if they came more naturally to me than English. I wish they did! It takes the conceit out of one to go up to college and compete with women instead of girls."
"Don"t you like it, Tom? Are you happy? Didn"t you miss the Manor, and feel home-sick for the girls and the old school parlour?" queried Rhoda eagerly, and Tom screwed up her face in meaning fashion.
"Should have done, if I had not kept a tight hand; but you know my principle--never to worry over what can"t be cured! Plenty to bother oneself about, without that. I thought of you all a great deal, and realised that I"d been even happier than I knew, and that I disliked taking a bottom place so abominably that it was plainly the best thing for me to do. I love power!" sighed Tom, wagging her head in sorrowful confession, "and that"s just what I see no chance of getting again for a precious long time to come. I haven"t much time to grieve, however, for my poor little nose is fairly worn away, it"s kept so near to the grindstone."
"You look thinner," said Rhoda, truthfully enough. "Poor old Tom, you mustn"t let them wear you out. We will take care of you, at least, so I"ll go and order lunch earlier than usual, if you really must be off so soon. The three o"clock train, I suppose?"
"Yes, please. Don"t worry about anything special for me. Half a dozen cutlets or a few pounds of steak is all I could eat, I a.s.sure you!" said Tom modestly, and Rhoda went laughing out of the room, leaving her two friends gazing at one another in an embarra.s.sed silence.
No reference had so far been made to the accident which was the cause of Evie"s presence at the Chase, but it was impossible that the visit should end in silence, and both instinctively felt that Rhoda"s absence gave the best opportunity for what must be said. The colour came into Evie"s face as she nerved herself to open the painful subject.
"You know, of course, Tom, that I am not going back to Hurst. Miss Bruce has been most kind, but she must consider the good of the greater number, and this accident has shown more plainly than ever the necessity of having a House-Mistress who can job in the games with the girls. I shall never be any good for a large school again, for, even apart from the games, the long stairs and corridors would be too trying. So you see my career is cut off suddenly."
"Yes, I see; I thought of that. It"s very interesting!" said Tom in a dreamy voice, which brought a flush of indignation into Evie"s eyes.
"Interesting!" she repeated. "Is _that_ what you call it? It"s not the word I should have used, or have expected from you, Tom, or from any of my friends."
"No! Perhaps not, but it _is_ interesting all the same, for one is so curious to see what will happen next. When you have planned out your life, and fitted in everything towards one end, and then suddenly, by no fault of your own, that end is made impossible--why, if you believe in a purpose in things, what could be more interesting and exciting? What _is_ to happen next? What is one to do? It is like reading a story in parts, and breaking off just at the critical crisis. I should like to turn over the pages, Evie, and see what is going to happen to you!"
Evie smiled faintly.
"Would you, Tom? I am afraid I have been hiding my head like an ostrich, and trying not to look forward, but your view is the healthier, and I"ll try to adopt it. I don"t give up all idea of teaching, though big schools are impossible. Perhaps they would take me at some small, old-fashioned seminary where sports are considered unladylike, and the pupils take their exercise in a crocodile up and down the parade."
"Ugh!" said Tom, with a grimace which twisted every feature out of recognition. "No, surely, Evie, you will never condescend to that! You lie low for a bit and get strong, and keep up your cla.s.sics, and I"ll see if I can"t find you some coaching to do among the girls I meet. If you could get along that way for a few years it would be all right, for I shall be settled by that time and able to look after you. You shall be my secretary, dear, and have a jolly little den to yourself, where I can take refuge when the girls get too much for me. We could be very happy together, you and I, couldn"t we, and grow into two nice, contented old maids, with too much to do to have time to envy our neighbours?"
She fixed her bright little eyes on Evie"s face as she asked the question, and to her horror and dismay Evie felt the colour rush to her cheeks and mount higher and higher in a crimson tide which refused to be restrained by the most desperate mental efforts. How idiotic to blush at nothing--how senseless, how humiliating, and how quite too ridiculous of Tom to turn aside and stare at the opposite side of the room in that ostentatious manner! Evie felt inclined to shake her, but at that opportune moment Rhoda returned, and during the remainder of Tom"s visit there was no opportunity for private confidences.
Once more Rhoda accompanied her friend to the station, and waited anxiously for the word which would surely be said concerning the escapade which had cost so dear, but, like Evie, she was obliged to introduce the subject herself.
"Have you nothing to say to me, Tom?" she asked wistfully. "I haven"t seen you since--you know when--but, of course, you heard how it happened. It was all my fault. What are you going to say to me about it?"
"Why, nothing, Fuzz!" said Tom, turning her little eyes upon the quivering face with a tenderness of expression which would have been a revelation to casual acquaintances who believed Miss Bolderston incapable of the softer emotions. "Why should I? You have said it all to yourself a hundred times better than I could have done, and who am I that I should make myself a ruler or a judge over you?"
"But she is lame, you know!" said Rhoda, sadly. "Nurse says the knee is stronger than she expected, but even so she will always limp. Imagine Evie limping! She was such a graceful little thing, and tripped about so lightly, and she was so proud of her little feet--I have spoiled her future too, for she can never take such a good post again. I have ruined her whole life."
"We will discuss that point ten years later; it is too early to decide it yet. Many things happen that we do not expect," remarked Tom sagely, whereat Rhoda shook her head in hopeless fashion.
"I cannot imagine anything happening that would make this any better--on the contrary, Tom, it has made me realise how little help one can give, and what a fraud money is when it comes to the test. I used to imagine that I could do pretty nearly everything I wanted because I was rich, but look at Evie! I would give my life to help her, but beyond a few trumpery presents, and a little lightening of pain, what can I do? She would not accept more, and one dare not offer it, though if she would allow it we would be thankful to pension her off for life. Money can"t do everything I see!"
"That"s a good thing! Let"s be thankful for that, at least. It"s worth something to have learned that lesson," cried Tom cheerily, and for the rest of the way to the station she talked resolutely on indifferent subjects, refusing to be drawn back to the one sad topic. Only when the last good-bye was said did she soften into tenderness, actually allowing herself to be kissed without protest, and saying hurriedly in a low, half-shamed voice:
"Good-bye, Fuzzy. Bless you! Never say die. Sometimes, you know, it takes a big thing to open one"s eyes. Keep straight ahead from where you are now, and you"ll have no more tumbles." Then the train moved off and Rhoda lost the last glimpse of her friend in a mist of tears. Dear Tom! Dear, blunt, kindly, honest Tom; what a strength she had been to all who knew her--what a strength she was going to be to generations of girls to come! Rhoda looked forward into the future and prophesied to herself that she would know no prouder boast than that she had been one of Tom Bolderston"s girls, and had been brought up under her rule!
That evening the occupants of the drawing-room looked up in amaze as a rustle of silken garments struck their ears, and a stately young lady came forward with a fan waving in one hand, and ma.s.ses of ruddy hair piled high upon her head. Rhoda, of course; and yet, could it be Rhoda?
for with the short skirts and flowing mane the last traces of childhood had disappeared, and the woman of the future seemed already to stand before them. Mr Chester gave a quick exclamation, and Rhoda turned to him and swept a stately curtsey.
"At your service, sir. I thought you might like to see your grown-up daughter. My new dress came home to-day, and I looked so fine in it that I was obliged to do up my hair to be in keeping. And I went to mother"s room and stole her pearls and took her very best fan. When girls come out they always help themselves to their parents" fineries, so I thought I had better begin at once. Do you like me, dear?"
She looked up at him, half shy, half laughing, and there was silence in the room while each of the onlookers felt a thrill of unexpected emotion. It was like looking on at the turning point in a life, and the girl was so beautiful in her fresh young bloom that it was impossible to behold her unmoved. The coiled-up hair showed the graceful poise of her head, the shoulders were smooth and white as satin, the blue eyes had lost their hard self-confidence, and shone sweet and true. Yes! Rhoda was going to be a beautiful woman; she was one already, as her father realised, with a natural pang of regret mingling with his pride. His eye softened as he laid his hand on her shoulder.