"I suppose I do," Jaspin said. "I have to do it."
"To study them?"
"No. To wait for Chungira-He-Will-Come."
"You believe in Him, then." He could hear the capitalH.
"I do now. Since today, on that hillside. I saw something, Jill. And it changed me. I felt literally knocked to my knees, the true conversion experience. Maybe conversion"s too pretentious a word, but -" This is preposterous, he thought, a couple of naked people who don"t even know each other, sitting in a tiny bathroom talking nonsense like this.
"I"ve never been a religious man," he said. "Jewish, at least my parents were, but that was just a cultural thing, n.o.body actually went to synagogue, you understand. But this is different. What I felt today - I want to feel it again. I want to go wherever I stand a chance of feeling it again. It"s the times, Jill, the era, theZeitgeist, you know? In times of total despair, revelatory religion has always held the answer. And now it"s happened even to me, cynical urban you-name-it Barry Jaspin. I"m going to follow Senhor Papamacer and wait for Maguali-ga to open the gateway for Chungira-He-Will-Come."
There was fire pumping through his veins. Do I really mean all this, he wondered? Yes.
Yes. I actually do. Amazing, he thought. I actually mean what I"m telling her.
"Can I come with you?" she asked timidly, reverently.
3.
CHARLEYsaid, "Now tell me about the one you saw yesterday, the one where the starlight lights up the sky like day."
"The world of the Eye People, that"s what you mean?" Tom asked.
"Is that it?"
"The Eye People, yes. Of the Great Starcloud."
"Tell me," Charley said. "I love to listen to you when you"re seeing this stuff. I think you"re a real prophet, man, you"re something straight out of the Bible."
"You think I"m crazy, don"t you?" Tom said.
Softly Charley said, "I wish you"d stop saying that. Do I tell you that I think you"re crazy?" "Iam crazy, Charley. Poor Tom. Poor crazy Tom. Ran away from one madhouse right into another one."
"A madhouse? Really? An honest-to-Christ nuthatch?"
"Pocatello," Tom said. "You know where that is? They had me locked up a year and a half."
Charley smiled. "Plenty of sane men locked up like that, plenty of crazy ones outside.
Don"t mean a thing. I try to tell you, I respect you, I admire you. I think you"re phenomenal. And you sit here saying I think you"re crazy. Come on. Tell me about the Eye People, man!"
Charley seemed sincere. He isn"t just making fun of me, Tom thought. It"s because he"s seen the green world himself. I hope he gets to see some of the other ones. He really wants to see. He really wants to know about these worlds. He"s a scratcher, maybe even used to be a bandido, I bet he"s killed twenty people, and yet he wants to know, he"s curious, he"s almost gentle, in his way. I"m lucky to be traveling with him, Tom told himself.
"The Eye People don"t exist yet," he said. "They"re maybe a million, maybe three million years from now, or maybe it"s a billion, that"s very hard to know. I get confused when these past and future things come in. You understand, all the thought impulses, they float around the universe back and forth, and the speed of thought is much faster than the speed of light, so the visions overtake the light, they pa.s.s it right by, you can get a vision out of a place that doesn"t even exist yet, and maybe a million or a billion years from now the light of that sun will finally get to Earth. You follow what I"m saying?"
"Sure," Charley said doubtfully.
"The Eye People live - or will live - on a planet that has maybe ten thousand stars right close around it, or a hundred thousand, who can even count them, one next to another all jammed together so that from this planet they look like one single wall of light that fills the whole sky. You go out any time of day or night, what you see is this tremendous light blazing away from all sides. You don"t see any one star, just a lot of light. All white, like the sky is white-hot."
Mujer came over. "Charley?"
"Be with you five minutes."
"Can you talk to me now, Charley?"
Charley looked up, annoyed. "Okay, go ahead."
The scratchers were camped a little way east of Sacramento, toward the coastal side of the Valley. There still were some working farms around there, and most of them were very well defended. The scratching was lousy here; Charley and his men were getting hungry; he had sent a bunch of them out scouting that afternoon. Mujer said, "Stidge and Tamale just came back. They say they found a farm down in the river fork that they think can be taken, and they want to go in as soon as it gets dark."
"Why you the one telling me, then, and not Stidge?"
"Buffalo said you"d gone off with Tom and didn"t want to be bothered, and Stidge decided not to bother you."
"But you did?"
Mujer said, "I wanted to talk to you before Stidge and Tamale did. You know, Tamale"s always wrong about everything. And that Stidge, he"s a wild man. I don"t trust them a lot."
"You think I do?"
"When Stidge says a place can be taken, and Tamale says it too, then I don"t know, Charley, I think maybe we ought to keep away. That"s all. I wanted to tell you before Stidge got to you."
"Okay, man. I understand what you"re saying."
"I wouldn"t have bothered you otherwise," Mujer said.
"Sure. But we need to eat, Mujer. I think what I"ll do, I"ll take a look at this place of Stidge and Tamale"s. Maybe they"re right for once and we can take it, and if I think so, we will. And if I don"t think so, we won"t. Okay, Mujer?"
"Okay. Sorry I bothered you."
"Nothing, man." Charley waved Mujer away. Turning to Tom again, he said, "Okay.
The Eye People."
Charley doesn"t have much trouble, Tom thought, shifting gears like that. One minute he"s talking about raiding somebody"s farm, the next he wants to be told about worlds in the stars. He didn"t seem like a killer. His eyes were deep and somber, and there was something close to kind and almost poetic about him sometimes. And other times not.
He really was a killer, Tom knew. Underneath the kind, underneath the poetic. But what was underneath that?
Tom said, "They live in a world of light that never goes dark and it"s so thick and dense that they can"t see the rest of the universe. In fact, they can"t really see anything at all, because the light of the Great Starcloud is so bright that there"s no contrast, there"s no way to pick out one thing against another. It like blinds you, there"s so much of it. You overdose on light. Instead of seeing, theysense, and every part of their body picks up images. All over their skins. That"s why they"re called the Eye People, because they"re like one big eye all over. You understand, they don"t exist yet. But they will; they"re one of the coming races. There are a thousand four hundred coming races listed in the Book of Moons, but naturally that"s just the ones in the Book of Moons. In fact there are billions and billions of coming races, but the universe is so big that even the Zygerone and the Kusereen don"t know a thousandth of it. But there they are, the Eye People, and their minds are so sensitive that they can reach out andfeel the rest of the universe. They know about suns and stars and planets and galaxies and all that, but it"s by guess and feel and intuition, the way a blind man knows about red and blue and green. Their minds are in contact with the other worlds of the Sacred Imperium, past and future.
They learn about the outside universe, and in return they show other people the Great Starcloud, which is holy because its light is so powerful, so complete. It"s like the light of the Buddha, you know? It fills the whole void. And so the Eye People -"
"Charley? They said you were through talking to him."
Stidge.
"I"m not quite," Charley said. Then he stood up. "s.h.i.t. All right. We"ll finish some other time. What is it, Stidge?"
"Farmhouse. Seven hundred meters down, in the fork. Man, woman, three sons. They got screens up but the electronics is lousy. We can go right in."
"You sure of that?"
"Absolutely. Tamale saw it too."
"Yeah," Charley said. "Tamale"s got terrific judgment."
"I"m telling you, Charley -"
"Okay. Okay, Stidge. Let"s go down and have a look at this place, you and me? Okay?"
"Sure," Stidge said.
Tom stayed where he was, under a big plane tree at the side of a little mostly dried-up stream that probably flowed only in winter. He watched Charley and Stidge go off into the late afternoon shadows; and then after a while they came back and spoke with the others, and then all eight of them went off together. Tom wondered about that, what was going to happen down at the farm in the river fork. After a while he found himself wandering over that way to find out.
The farmhouse came into view in just a few minutes. It was a small white wooden building that looked about a hundred fifty years old, with dark green shingles and a huge fat-trunked palm tree out front overshadowing the porch. The red glow of a protective screen surrounded the house. Just as Tom got there the screen winked out, and then he heard shouts and screams and one very loud scream above all the rest of the noise. After that it was quiet for a moment; then there were shouts again, angry ones.
Tom went to the door, thinking, Be strong and of a good courage, be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy G.o.d is with thee, whithersoever thou goest.
He looked in. Two people, a man and a woman, were sprawled on the floor in that peculiar twisted herky-jerk way that indicated they had been killed with a spike. A third person - boy, rather, maybe sixteen, seventeen - was pressed up against the wall, white-faced, bug-eyed, and Stidge had his spike against his throat.
"Stidge!" Charley yelled, just as Tom entered. "Stidge, you crazy son of a b.i.t.c.h!"
"I got him," Mujer said, coming up behind Stidge and smoothly grabbing the red-haired man"s wrist with one hand while locking his other arm around Stidge"s throat. Stidge growled in surprise. Mujer, who seemed incredibly strong for the wiry little guy he was, bent Stidge"s arm outward until the spike in Stidge"s hand was practically touching Stidge"s right ear. "Let me kill him this time," Mujer begged. "He"s no good, Charley.
He"s a wild man. Look what he just did, the farmer and his wife."
"Hey, no, Charley," Stidge cried in a strangled voice thick with terror. "Hey, make him let go!"
"You didn"t need to do that, Stidge," Charley said. His face looked bleak and stormy.
"Now we got two deads on our hands and two of the sons got loose, and what for? What for?"
"Should I do him, Charley?" Mujer asked eagerly.
Charley seemed to be considering it. Tom stepped forward. No one had noticed him come in; now they all looked at him in amazement, all but Stidge, whose face was to the wall. Tom touched Mujer"s arm. His eyes felt strange. He was having trouble seeing straight: everything looked glazed and blurred, as if it were coated with ice.
"No," Tom said. "Let him be. Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Not yours, Mujer.
Avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath. Let him be." Tom took firm hold of Mujer"s arm and pulled it back until the spike was well away from Stidge"s face.
"What . . .?"Mujer was astonished. "The lunatic?" He whirled, ripping the spike from Stidge"s hand and bringing it around as if he meant to jab it into Tom"s chest.
"The Lord my G.o.d is with me, whithersoever I go," said Tom mildly. His eyes were still out of focus. He saw two Mujers and just a red-topped blob instead of Stidge.
"Jesus," said Mujer. "Jesus, what do we have here?"
"All right," Charley said, irritated. "Enough of this G.o.dd.a.m.n stuff. Mujer, give Stidge back his spike."
"But -"
"Give it back." To Stidge, Charley said, "You"re lucky Tom walked in here when he did.
I had a half a mind to let Mujer do you. You"re a liability to us, Stidge."
"I"m the one turned the screen off, didn"t I?" Stidge shot back. "I"m the one got us in here!" "Yeah," Charley said. "But we could have gotten in and out without killing. Now we got two deads lying here and two missing. Stidge, you got to keep control of those weapons of yours. You don"t let yourself get out of hand again, you hear? Next time we"re gonna do you, you run wild. Hear?" Charley waved his hand at the others. "All right, start packing up anything we can use. Food, weapons, whatever. We can"t hang around."
"I don"t believe it," Mujer muttered, staring at Tom. "He hates you, you know? Stidge.
I"m about to do him, and you come over and grab my arm. I don"t believe it."
"Come out, come out, thou b.l.o.o.d.y man, thou son of Belial," Tom said.
"The Bible again," said Mujer disgustedly. "d.a.m.n looney."
Tom smiled. They were all staring at him. Let them stare. He could not have countenanced killing in cold blood. Even Stidge. Tom glanced toward him. There was a cold baleful glare on Stidge"s face. He hates me even more now, Tom realized. Now that he knows he owes his life to me. But I am not afraid. Love your enemies, that"s what He taught us, do good to them that hate you, bless them that curse you. He realized that he was seeing straight again, calming down some. "Thank you," Tom said to Charley. "For sparing him."
"Yeah," Charley grunted. "Jesus, Tom. You had no business. That was crazy, what you did. Walking in like that. Mujer, he might have put the spike right through you and Stidge both. You know that?"
"I would not let another life be taken. The Lord is the only judge."
"You had no call messing in. It wasn"t your place to decide things here. It was crazy, Tom. Doing what you did just then. Okay? That"s what I call it, crazy. It wasn"t your place at all. Now get the h.e.l.l out of here until we"re finished. Go on, get out."
"Okay," Tom said. He went out. But he looked back through the window, just long enough to see Charley lift the laser bracelet on his wrist and aim a shaft of fiery light at the terrified farmboy cowering against the wall. The boy fell, most likely dead before he hit the ground. Tom winced and muttered a prayer. A little while later Charley came out of the house. "I saw that," Tom said. "How could you do that? I don"t make sense out of it. You got angry when Stidge killed the man and the woman. And then you yourself - ".
Charley spat. "Once there"s killing, there got to be more killing. Kill the parents, you better kill the son too, or he"ll track you down no matter where you go. The other two boys got away, and I hope to h.e.l.l they didn"t see our faces." Then, shaking his head, he said, "What"s the matter? I told you not to stick around. You had to look, didn"t you?
Well, so you saw. You think I"m a G.o.dd.a.m.n saint, Tom?" He laughed. "This ain"t no time for being a saint. Come on, now. Come on. Tell me some more about the Eye People. You reallysee all this s.h.i.t, don"t you? Like it"s really real to you. You"re amazing, you crazy son of a b.i.t.c.h. Tell me. Tell me what you see."
4 FERGUSONsaid to April Cranshaw, "You"re honest to G.o.d not making all this up? The sky full of light? The flying jellyfish beings? Hey, hey, do me a favor and own up to it.
It"s all just a big joke, right? Right?"
"Ed," she said reproachfully, as if he had just peed on her party dress. "Stop trying to do that to me, Ed. I"m going to walk away from you if you keep messing with my head. Be nice, Ed."
"Yeah," he said. "I"ll be nice."
The b.a.s.t.a.r.ds were all in a sweat over this stuff. Talked of almost nothing else. First thing in the morning when you went in for your pick, they wanted to know about your dreams. Then they had meetings all afternoon. People being summoned for special testing, questioning, whatnot.
Not him. Never him. He didn"t get the dreams, not ever. That puzzled them. Puzzled him, too. Made him wonder why he was singled out, the only one. Made him wonder if the dreams were happening at all. b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, the bunch of them. Trying to cut him out, trying to fool him all the time.
"Just give me a straight answer," he said. "You aren"t making this up? You really do have dreams like that?"
"Every night," she said. "I swear."