Torchy As A Pa

Chapter 19

"H-m-m-m," says he, rubbin" his chin. "I can"t say I"m flattered. Thinks I"m an old crab, does he?"

"I expect he does," I admits.

"Do you?" demands Old Hickory, whirlin" on me sudden.

"I used to," says I, "until I got to know you better."

"Oh!" says he. "Well, I suppose the young man has a right to his own opinion. And my estimate of him makes us even. But perhaps you don"t know with what utter contempt I regard such a worthless----"

"I got a general idea," says I. "And maybe that"s because you don"t know him very well."

For a second the old boy stares at me like he was goin" to blow a gasket. But he don"t. "I will admit," says he, "that I may have failed to cultivate a close acquaintance with all the harum-scarum cut-ups in my employ. One doesn"t always find the time. May I ask what course you would recommend?"

"Sure!" says I. "If it was me I wouldn"t give him the chuck without a hearin"."

That sets him chewin" his cigar. "Very well," says he. "Bring him in."

I hadn"t figured on gettin" so close to the affair as this, but as I had I couldn"t do anything else but see it through. I finds Brink drummin" a jazz tune on his desk with his fingers and otherwise makin" the best of it.

"Well," says he, as I taps him on the shoulder, "is it all over?"

"Not yet," says I. "But the big boss is about to give you the third degree. So buck up."

"Wants to see me squirm, does he?" says Brink. "All right. But I don"t see the use. What"ll I feed him, Torchy?"

"Straight talk, nothing else," says I. "Come along."

And I expect when Brink Hollis found himself lined up in front of them chilled steel eyes he decided that this was a cold and cruel world.

"Let"s see," opens Old Hickory, "you"ve been with us about a year, haven"t you?"

Hollis nods.

"And how do you think you are getting on as a business man?" asks Mr.

Ellins.

"Fairly rotten, thank you," says he.

"I must say that I agree with you," says Old Hickory. "How did you happen to honor us by making your start here?"

"Because the governor didn"t want me in his office," says Hollis, "and could get me into the Corrugated."

"Hah!" snorts Old Hickory. "Think we"re running a retreat for younger sons, do you!"

"If I started in with that idea," says Brink, "I"m rapidly getting over it. And if you want to know, Mr. Ellins, I"m just as sick of working in the bond room as you are of having me there."

"Then why in the name of the seven sins do you stick?" demands Old Hickory.

Brink shrugs his shoulders. "Dad thinks it"s best for me," says he. "He imagines I"m making good. I suppose I"ve rather helped along the notion, and he"s due to get some jolt when he finds I"ve nose-dived to a crash."

"Unfortunately," says Old Hickory, "we cannot provide shock absorbers for fond fathers. Any other reasons why you wished to remain on our pay roll?"

"One," says Brink, "but it will interest you less than the first. If I got a raise next month I was planning to be married."

Old Hickory sniffs. "That"s optimism for you!" says he. "You expect us to put a premium on the sort of work you"ve been doing? Bah!"

"Oh, why drag out the agony?" says Brink. "I knew I"d put a crimp in my career when I remembered leaving that crab banquet program in the book.

Let"s get to that."

"As you like," says Old Hickory. "Not that I attach any great importance to such monkey shines, but we might as well take it up. So you think I"m an old crab, do you?"

"I had gathered that impression," says Brink. "Seemed to be rather general around the shop."

Old Hickory indulges in one of them grins that are just as humorous as a crack in the pavement. "I"ve no doubt," says he. "And you conceived the happy idea of dramatizing me as the leading comic feature for this dinner party of my employees? It was a success, I trust."

"Appeared to take fairly well," says Brink.

"Pardon me if I seem curious," goes on Old Hickory, "but just how did you--er--create the illusion?"

"Oh, I padded myself out in front," says Brink, "and stuck on a lot of cotton for eyebrows, and used the make-up box liberal, and gave them some red-hot patter on the line that--well, you know how you work off a grouch, sir. I may have caught some of your pet phrases. Anyway, they seemed to know who I meant."

"You"re rather clever at that sort of thing, are you?" asks Old Hickory.

"Oh, that"s no test," says Brink. "You can always get a hand with local gags. And then, I did quite a lot of that stuff at college; put on a couple of frat plays and managed the Mask Club two seasons."

"Too bad the Corrugated Trust offers such a limited field for your talents," says Old Hickory. "Only one annual dinner of the Crab Society.

You organized that, I suppose?"

"Guilty," says Brink.

"And I understand you were responsible for the Corrugated baseball team, and are now conducting a pool tournament?" goes on Old Hickory.

"Oh, yes," says Brink, sort of weary. "I"m not denying a thing. I was even planning a little noonday dancing club for the stenographers. You may put that in the indictment if you like."

"H-m-m-m!" says Old Hickory, scratchin" his ear. "I think that will be all, young man."

Brink starts for the door but comes back. "Not that I mind being fired, Mr. Ellins," says he. "I don"t blame you a bit for that, for I suppose I"m about the worst bond clerk in the business. I did try at first to get into the work, but it was no good. Guess I wasn"t cut out for that particular line. So we"ll both be better off. But about that He-Crab act of mine. Sounds a bit raw, doesn"t it? I expect it was, too. I"d like to say, though, that all I meant by it was to make a little fun for the boys. No personal animosity behind it, sir, even if----"

Old Hickory waves his hand careless. "I"m beginning to get your point of view, Hollis," says he. "The boss is always fair game, eh?"

"Something like that," says Brink. "Still, I hate to leave with you thinking----"

"You haven"t been asked to leave--as yet," says Old Hickory. "I did have you slated for dismissal a half hour ago, and I may stick to it. Only my private secretary seemed to think I didn"t know what I was doing.

Perhaps he was right. I"m going to let your case simmer for a day or so.

Now clear out, both of you."

We slid through the door. "Much obliged for making the try, Torchy,"

says Brink. "You had your nerve with you, I"ll say."

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