14.A NIGHT OF REFLECTION
Willian was somewhere a bit away from the encampment by himself.
By glancing through the field, it could be seen the soldiers getting drunk, cheering for their victory. However, Willian didn´t have the spare time to being happy about his victory or to be having a taste of the high-grade beverages of victory.
“”How… did I win?””
Instead, his complexion was bad. He was very pale.
“”My memories are missing. From what I can remember… I was in the disadvantage. No, it would be fine to say that I had already lost.””
What Willian was trying to remember about was about his one-to-one fight with the centurion Haian. He didn´t have the confidence that he was going to win then, but he betted it would have been a good battle. The result ended in his victory, but he didn´t have memories about that.
“”By going on what I asked from Karl, he said I won by sheer power, but… Is something like that really possible?””
It would have been one thing if the case was in technique, but in case of strength, there should have been an overwhelming gap between them.
“”To begin with, I can´t understand how I am at disadvantage in strength. Did he train just like I did? Did he have the same knowledge I did? That man?”
Willian thought it was impossible. But when he thought about, his confidence wavered. He, who worked at a bookshop of imported books that would gather the information of all the seven kingdoms, had carefully examined the necessary information. To say nothing about it, there wasn´t much difference in the apparent form of their physiques.
“”I even took care about my nutrition by eating that disgusting as s.h.i.t food at Raconia. I was supposed to be working with a body of the same type of build that man had. Even if I was to be a bit worse on strength, there shouldn´t have been that much of a [disparity].”
He had been sent flying. He was completely beaten up. It was to the point he couldn´t do anything about it…
“”That feeling of chill I felt from Kail before was similar to that one I felt from him… Would [that] be the key here?””
Normally, this would simply be some stupid occultish kind of thing Willian would have refused to believe. To Willian, who had trained himself in a rational manner, that was an inexplicable wall he had never b.u.mped at before. However, now that he actually tried to overcome it and had lost his awareness while trying to do so, there was no way he could let it by.
“”Something that wasn´t in any book. Something that was present only in actual battles. That thing Kail and that man possess…. I need to have my hands on that. As soon as I can.””
His situation was one close to having no clues. Willian didn´t know how he was supposed to investigate about something that wasn´t written in books.
“”Well, let´s ask Kail. Will he teach me, that guy?””
After thinking about Kail, someone that wouldn´t be lenient when it was about swordfighting, Willian showed a little smile. In the end, no matter where he was to go, those two people were his home. Nothing would change that. Even when he was to die, it would definitely not…
“”Even if I let this by for now, it is still not good that I have missing memories. It is very bad in fact.””
Sometimes, Willian would lose his awareness. At the times it was at its worse, he would even lose his memories. There were many times it happened for short periods of time. It would happen at the times during his trainment with Kail, and also at the times he would get too much agitated. Because those would happen for very short period of times, Willian didn´t mind too much about it. Kail had also told him not to worry about it as well.
“”But now that something like this happened, there is no way I can keep ignoring this.””
Now that Willian thought about it, he couldn´t hide his surprise at how he hadn´t made any measures about it until now.
“”What became of me, really.”
He lost sight of himself. Willian, who had been taking many meticulous precautions during his life had overlooked such a big hole. In a certain way, this gave much more of a shock to Willian than the time he had been defeated at the duel.
“…”
Suddenly, Willian turned his eyes to the small lump that was at his chest. He held the thing that was by his chest.
It was the red like blood ruby, which ardently burned in red. If a diamond had the brilliance of the stars, then the ruby would be the sun which stood over the sky. That ardence was similar to the ardent feelings of people.
“This is supposed to suit me, right?”
It was the ruby that Lutogarte insisted in giving him. He didn´t think too deeply about that, but now he got a bit interested about the reason why it had been a ruby rather than something else.
“”It would be easier for me if those “feelings of ardor” was something she found in my childish third-rate play.”
However, would Lutogarde really insist so much for it to be something as much expensive as the ruby with feelings of this extent?
“…Does she favor me? No, it lacks too many points for that to be true no matter how much she had done for me.”
No matter how much Willian searched through his mind, he definitely had never confronted with a girl like Lutogarde in the past. Even at the time he used to be called Al, there weren´t any of this kind of memories….
“Well, I guess it doesn´t really matter.”
Pushing away all thoughts, Willian put the gem that was supposedly given him because it suited him inside his clothes. Those things about Lutogarde were only trivial. Comparing to the piles of problems he had right now in front of his eyes, its priority was lower. To be said frankly, to Willian, Lutogarde´s existence didn´t matter.
“My missing memories and the power that doesn´t make any sense; my problems lie in those two points.”
Willian shouldn´t spare his resources into thinking about Lutogarde´s feelings. Deciding that was the right call, he started to think of his priorities.
“Now then, what should I do?”