"It probably won"t."
"Caleb is really awesome," she said, surprising me. "He would be happy if he got you pregnant, he"d be excited."
"Maybe, but I"d be the one who was scared," I confessed. "And Caleb would forgive me for it."
"I can"t ever forgive Dante," Cece a.s.serted stubbornly. "Are you going to forgive Caleb for the paintings?"
I smiled for the first time since the restaurant. "Do you think Caleb will give me the option to not forgive him?"
"No, he has stalker tendencies," she joked, taking the tissue out of my hand and wiping her nose.
My best friend was beautiful, smart and talented. I liked Dante and hoped he could win her back, but she was also stubborn and held a mean grudge. But she"d always be loved because she gave an abundance of it in return.
"I"m sorry I"ll miss my shift as a bodyguard tomorrow," she said.
"That"s okay. I"ll have Caleb bring me to your house to visit you."
"You should make him take you to a chick flick as payback for hurting you."
"He"d probably try to get frisky in the theater."
Cece"s attempt at a smile fell. "I"m tired. Will you tell my parents I"m going to sleep?"
Caressing her face, I said, "Yes, see you tomorrow."
"Bye, Gianna."
Jared and I went through a fast food drive-thru on our way to my house and sat eating our food in the parking lot. I finally got my burrito, but barely tasted it.
"I"m going to kick his a.s.s," he said, tossing his half-eaten food into the paper bag.
"I think he"s beating up himself enough over it, Jared. He doesn"t need you pounding on him."
My words didn"t help to calm him down. "I"m glad she dumped him. I know for a fact she was a virgin before she met him and he couldn"t even protect her from getting knocked up."
"Everyone knew she was," I reminded him. "Her boyfriend before Dante complained enough about it."
"She should have waited until after high school."
"Because you did?" I teased him, knowing exactly when he"d started having s.e.x with an ex-girlfriend a couple years ago.
He gave me a dirty look. "Are you and Caleb back together?"
I shrugged. "Sort of."
He started his car. "You and Cece should both think about waiting until marriage from now on."
"Whatever you say, Jared," I said, rolling my eyes at him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE.
"Sad things happen. They do. But we don"t need to live sad forever."
-Mattie Stepanek GIANNA.
"Where are we going?" I asked as we left Cece"s house and Caleb didn"t head toward the mall like I"d expected.
"It"s a surprise," he said. He didn"t seem in the least bit excited. In fact, he appeared tense and slightly nervous.
"A good surprise?" I asked, not in the mood for anything less.
"Hopefully," he answered vaguely.
Cece was still devastated about losing her baby and her parents worried she"d become depressed. Jared had taken me aside, asking for the name of my therapist. I"d supplied it, embarra.s.sed but wanting to help Cece.
When Caleb had come over this morning, he"d filled me in on how Dante was taking things. Basically, not good. He blamed himself, felt like his not wanting the baby had caused the miscarriage. He loved Cece, but Caleb wasn"t sure he"d fight for her because of his guilt.
I wasn"t positive Cece wanted him to bother trying.
When Caleb drove into the parking garage by his mom"s apartment, it was easy to guess our destination. "Is your mom home?"
It was Tuesday afternoon and she worked full time as an interior designer. He turned off the engine and I got out before he could open my door. I brushed off his disapproving look.
"She"s working on some rich guy"s house in Boulder."
As we went up to the apartment, he leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Remember the first time I brought you here?"
I scowled at him playfully. "You were a jerk."
He laughed, hooking an arm around the back of my neck. "Yeah, but you loved it."
"You"re dreaming," I teased. It was less than a year ago, but it seemed like forever ago. I"d had no idea how hard I"d fall for my annoying stepbrother.
He unlocked the apartment and held the door open for me. "The first time I met you, I thought you were the most beautiful girl I"d ever seen."
"And now?"
His face went soft along with is voice. "Now, you"re even more beautiful."
I walked farther into the apartment and dropped my bag onto the couch. "I won"t be beautiful forever, Caleb."
His arms went around me from behind and he pulled me against him. "Yes, you will."
"What about when I"m a wrinkled old woman?" I asked, placing my hands over his.
"Beautiful."
"What if I get fat when I"m pregnant and have stretch marks?" Leaning back into him, I relaxed my body.
His arms around me felt right. "Even more beautiful."
"Where"s my surprise, Caleb?"
"In my mom"s art studio," he said, guiding me by the hand back there.
I expected a new painting, one of me or both of us together. When he led me to two canvases wrapped in paper, I tried to back up. "Is that what I think it is?"
He finally let go of my hand and leaned down to place the paintings on a nearby table. "Yes."
"What are you doing, Caleb? I don"t want to see them!" I was ready to bolt and take a taxi back to Cece"s house or anywhere but here.
"They sold at the show," he said. "But I insisted my mom get them back from Jim before they were delivered to the buyer." He began tearing off the paper and I wrapped my arms around myself. "I couldn"t stand the thought of them out in the world and my mom understood."
"What are you going to do with them?" Avoiding where they lay on the table, now unwrapped, I stared at the s.p.a.ce to the right of them.
Caleb"s hand cupped my jaw. "Jim was p.i.s.sed, but I"m going to destroy them."
My eyes met his piercing ones. "You are?"
"Gianna, I"d destroy the world if it came between us."
I bit my bottom lip when it began to tremble. "Thank you."
He kissed me, his lips firm against mine. "You"re welcome. You"re going to help me."
"What? No!" An arm around my waist kept me from escaping.
"You"re not healed yet and I need my girl whole so we can move into our future together. You need to learn that Josh can"t hurt you anymore. He didn"t win."
"I"m not strong enough," I admitted.
"Yes, you are." He led me to stand in front of the table, grabbing my wrist to place a pair of scissors into my hand. "Look at it."
Reluctantly, I forced my eyes to look at the image of Josh in his football uniform. Those clenched fists had punched at me. Those strong hands had broken me.
"Do it," Caleb urged.
Raising a shaky arm, I began to cry as my arm lowered in a swift motion and the scissors struck Josh"s face, stabbing through his angry expression. In a frenzy, I sliced at the canvas, shredding it.
"That"s my girl," Caleb crooned in my ear. "Now the other one."
My wild gaze moved to the painting of me at my most pathetic. Without further prompting from Caleb, I destroyed the other painting. While I worked, Caleb kept speaking. "I"ll never let anyone hurt you like that again, baby. I love you so much, Gianna."
I believed him. Dropping the scissors, I spun around, throwing myself at him as I cried. "I love you so much, Caleb."
He rubbed my back, holding me for a long time while I released the pain and ugliness of that night. When my sobbing quieted down, he rubbed my back. "Feel better?"
I nodded against his chest. "Yes, thank you." I reared back to look at him. "How did you know?"
"Painting them helped me work through my rage, so I hoped destroying them would help you through your pain."
"What now?" I asked, glancing at the mess.
"I plan on burning them."
"Are you in trouble with Jim?"
"He made enough money off the rest of the show."
"What about the buyer?"
"Jim will tell them they were destroyed and that"ll have to be good enough."
Caleb and I left the studio. Instead of going into the living room with him, I tugged on his hand and guided him into his bedroom.
"There"s something else coming between us," I told him.
"What"s that?"
"My ridiculous fears," I said, pulling my cotton dress over my head.
He stood in place, not moving toward me or taking off his own clothes. "You know I won"t hurt you?"
"I know," I told him, unclasping my strapless bra.
"You know I love you more than anything in this world?"
"Yeah," I said, slipping off my panties. There was no hiding from him in the brightly lit bedroom as the sun shone through the open blinds.
He groaned, rubbing a hand over his mouth. I stepped forward, helping him pull his shirt off and unb.u.t.ton his jeans. He tugged them off, revealing black boxer briefs.
"I don"t have any condoms," Caleb said, looking crestfallen.
I giggled at his expression. "I"m still on birth control."
"Thank f.u.c.k," he breathed, moving us onto the bed.
He went slowly with me, even more gently than the first time. Not once did my fears surface. This was Caleb, the guy who loved me enough to take on the world for me.
He made love to me like he was worshiping me and I somehow knew it"d always be this intense for us. I returned his pa.s.sion while he moved inside me, filling me in the best way.