Looking thoughtful, Gage leaned forward. "Well, since you don"t have any friends and I don"t know anyone here, I"ll hang with you for now."
I couldn"t help my burst of laughter. "Oh jeez, thanks."
"No problem."
Checking the time on my phone, I saw it was eleven minutes to first period. I slipped my book into my backpack and zipped it up. I"d need to stop by my locker to get rid of my bulky coat. "Time to get to cla.s.s."
Once out of the booth, without the barrier between us, I felt a little nervous. While I put my backpack on, he reached over to grab my coat, handing it to me. "Thank you."
As I started to walk away, he called out, "Do you mind showing me to my first cla.s.s?"
Whirling around, I reached up to hold onto the straps of my bag. "Yeah, sure. Which room number?"
Gage"s eyes dropped down to the paper in his hand. "Room 117."
Feeling like this guy might be safe, I attempted to remain friendly. "Okay, come on."
On the way to 117, I dropped off the coat at my locker. Gage told me his locker number and we swung by so he could locate it. He didn"t have textbooks yet, so he didn"t bother opening it. Walking to his cla.s.s, he informed me that he was an aspiring DJ. He still struggled to make a name for himself, so he hadn"t gotten much work yet. When he graduated at the end of the school year, he"d concentrate on booking gigs full time.
We stopped outside his cla.s.s. "So, meet you in the lounge at lunch?"
Shifting from one foot to the other, I hesitated. Not having friends at my new school had worked for me so far. I wasn"t sure I wanted a new guy friend. But he was Kara"s older brother, so it wasn"t like he was a total stranger. It wouldn"t hurt to have one friend at this school.
And it"d make me less of a freak.
"Okay," I replied slowly. "I"ll meet you there."
He flashed me a grin. "Later, then."
I watched him approach the teacher inside the cla.s.sroom as a girl sitting in the front row checked him out. He was cute now that I thought about it. Hot body like a swimmer. The way he walked reminded me a little of Caleb.
Hurrying to my own cla.s.s on the second floor, the rubber soles of my boots squeaking on the shiny floor, I remembered Caleb"s request in his last letter. He wanted me to visit him next week on Valentine"s Day. I had mixed feelings on visiting my own boyfriend on the most romantic day of the year.
As much as I missed him, I couldn"t help being apprehensive at the prospect of facing him. I was scared he"d take one look at me and realize he didn"t want me anymore. I had no doubt Caleb cared for me, but would he still love me the same?
h.e.l.l, I didn"t even want me anymore.
CHAPTER FOUR.
"A kiss that is never tasted, is forever and ever wasted."
-Billie Holiday VALENTINE"S DAY CALEB.
Showering this wonderful morning, I whistled under the warm spray, eager to get my day started. Valentine"s Day falling on a Sat.u.r.day worked out perfectly for me.
I pa.s.sed by Ian as I exited the bathroom. "Stop with your G.o.d d.a.m.n happiness, Caleb."
"Just "cause you don"t have a beautiful girl visiting you today."
I wasn"t about to let him ruin my good mood. It"d been four months since I"d last seen Gianna. Today felt like my birthday, Christmas and Valentine"s Day all rolled into one.
Ian eyed the guard nearby before answering. "Actually, I do have a girl visiting me today."
"Only approved family members are allowed to visit. Is she a cousin or something?"
His lazy smile was conspiratorial. "Nope."
Now my interest was piqued. "Your do-gooder pen pal?"
The smile transformed into an intense scowl. "I would never let Alexandra come to this h.e.l.lhole."
Trying to keep a straight face, I asked, "Oh, it"s like that, is it?"
"No," he snapped, turning his back to me.
"Move along," a guard ordered when I began laughing tauntingly.
In our cell, I sat down on my bed and ran a palm over my buzzed hair. I wondered what Gianna would think of my shorter hair. Closing my eyes, I imagined the feeling of her hands last time they were in my hair. In my mind, her nails were painted red as delicate hands journeyed below my neck, stroking my chest. One hand dipped inside my pants as her lips met mine....
Aw, f.u.c.k, juvie was killing me.
I threw myself back onto the thin mattress, clenching my fists in an effort to control the p.o.r.n show taking place in my mind.
Ian showed up, strutting into our cell as he ran a comb through his wet locks. My eyes rolled at his primping. He started rummaging through my stack of magazines. "Do you have any cologne samples?"
I jumped up, s.n.a.t.c.hing the GQ magazine my mom brought me on her last visit and rifling through it until I found a Calvin Klein sample. As I rubbed some onto my skin, I gave Ian a victorious smirk.
Unfazed, he grabbed it from my fingers and did the same. "What the h.e.l.l, man? I don"t want to smell like you!"
He went back to playing with his blond hair. "Don"t worry, Caleb. You"re too ugly to be my Valentine."
"So, how do you plan on getting a chick in here if she isn"t family?"
His grin widened. "My lawyer got her on the approved list, said she was a second cousin."
A terrible thought came to me. "Do I know her?"
His eyebrows rose along with an evil smile. "Do you mean, have you screwed her?"
I granted him a black look. "With Gianna finally coming I don"t want any surprises."
Ian frowned, rolling his eyes. "Her name is Trisha...something."
"Real helpful," I muttered. Then again, even with a last name I couldn"t be sure.
I snagged the red gift bag from under the bed that my mom had brought my Christmas present in. I didn"t have the tissue anymore, but I carefully placed into it the painting I"d made for Gianna.
It was kind of cheesy, but I"d painted the memory of when we"d gone tagging. I"d included myself in the painting and it was a view of our backs as we stood a few feet away from each other. Our arms were extended as we each gripped a can of paint, aiming at the wall in front of us. Black paint coated several of my fingers and bright blue paint dripped down Gianna"s index finger and over the top of her hand.
While sketching it, I"d thought it was kind of cool to paint a piece depicting the time we"d created art together. I"d even painted part of our handiwork that day.
Gianna"s delay in visiting already had me feeling uneasy, so I didn"t want to stress about whether she"d like my present. Half the time I was with the youth corrections therapist was spent discussing Gianna. Not having met her, my therapist could only guess at Gianna"s mental health. Dr. Adler explained how avoidance was normal behavior after an a.s.sault.
Patience was getting old.
Gripping the handles of the gift bag, I followed Ian out of our cell to line up for breakfast. From the cafeteria, anyone with visitors would be led to the visiting room and the rest would be taken outside to the basketball courts or gym.
I practically shoved the pancakes down my throat in my hurry to finish breakfast. A guard began calling out the names of inmates with visitors waiting. If Gianna didn"t show, I"d lose my s.h.i.t. I could not go another day without seeing her face, breathing in her presence.
The last four months have been complete s.h.i.t. I needed a strong dose of my girl to get me through the rest of my sentence.
GIANNA.
I"d been afraid to walk inside the building. Gage had driven me to the youth corrections facility Caleb was locked up in and waited in his car outside. I was both elated and dreading seeing my boyfriend.
The pep talk Gage had given me before I"d come inside was a borderline scolding. I didn"t like to think of myself as weak, but hadn"t I proved it when I"d allowed Josh to hurt me? Hadn"t I proved it when I"d gotten my loving boyfriend imprisoned?
Gage had offered to accompany me inside, but only family was allowed to visit the inmates. As I waited for Caleb inside the large visitation room, I considered how fast my friendship with Gage had evolved. After that first day a week and a half ago, we"d hung out constantly. It was obvious Gage only wanted a platonic relationship and the safety in that was a relief. He"d even come to watch practice with the crew last Sat.u.r.day.
I was half convinced Caleb was about to dump me. I"d styled my hair for the first time in months. I wore an old pair of jeans, but went shopping earlier this week for a new blue sweater. I thought it was cute, but now that I was here, I worried it was boring. There was another girl around my age wearing a red dress I would"ve thought too s.e.xy for a prison visit. Her matching lipstick was a lot bolder than the pink lip gloss I"d applied to my own mouth.
I"d come clean with Gage about what happened with Josh. Before driving me here, he"d wanted to know what my boyfriend and Ian had done to wind up in juvie. I"d have liked to introduce Caleb to Gage. I didn"t want Caleb to think there was more than friendship between me and my new guy friend.
Then again, Caleb could end up dumping me today and it would no longer be an issue.
Getting through the security checkpoints had been more involved than I would"ve thought. A guard had rifled through my purse and jacket pockets, even searching the box of chocolates I"d brought for Caleb, before patting me down. It"d been a female guard, so it didn"t seem too intrusive.
From what I"d seen of the facility, the place was a little dismal. Everything seemed so cold and orderly. I hated that Caleb was stuck in here. The visitation room was filled with small tables scattered in the center and benches lining one side of the room. The motivational posters covering one wall had mountains, a kitten and a rocky beach on them.
The one t.i.tled Courage with a picture of a penguin jumping off an iceberg cliff fitted my cowardly feelings. If a penguin could jump off a cliff into freezing water, surely I could face the guy I loved.
Some moments were so important they burned into a girl"s memory forever. After so long apart, meeting Caleb"s hazel eyes across the visitation room instantly became one of those.
CALEB.
The kid behind me nudged my shoulder as I stood still in the doorway. It had taken only a heartbeat for me to recognize her, despite the darker hair. She looked incredibly beautiful.
She also looked scared.
With a deep breath ending on a whoosh, I approached the table she sat at. The expression in those pretty blue eyes was a mixture of nervous and cautious. The pink staining her cheeks charmed me, but I didn"t like her discomfort. Even in our changed circ.u.mstances, we were still us.
She got to her feet as I rounded the table, pulling her up for a brief hug. We were only allowed a hug at the beginning and end of a visitation. I wouldn"t miss either of my chances. f.u.c.k, she smelled like perfection. With her face tucked into my chest and my eyes squeezed shut, I could pretend for those short seconds nothing bad had happened to my girl.
Reaching for her hand, I took the seat across from her. I wanted her right next to me, but it was against the rules. Normally, breaking the rules wouldn"t bother me but I couldn"t risk them banning Gianna from visiting again. Besides, they had her down as my stepsister. The things I"d be tempted to do with her next to me would raise eyebrows.
Her palm was so soft as it trembled in my larger one. Covering it with my other hand, I gave her a rea.s.suring squeeze.
"How are you, Caleb?" she asked, looking shyly at the tabletop.
"Good, now that you"re here," I answered while handing her the gift bag. "Happy Valentine"s Day, princess."
Her smile was small as she took the bag. Reaching in, she began pulling out the painting. "Oh!" Her smile grew and her eyes lit up. "I remember this! It"s really good, Caleb. Thank you."
"Next year I"ll take you somewhere special for Valentine"s Day."
Her lashes dropped, shielding her thoughts from me. Placing the painting carefully onto the table, she pushed a giant, heart-shaped box of chocolates toward me. "I got you something, too."
Pulling off the lid, I popped one into my mouth. "Almost as delicious as your-"
"Shh!" she interrupted, blue eyes bugging out of her head.
I glanced down at her chest and mustered an innocent expression. "What? I was gonna say...lips."
"Caleb," she began hesitantly.
From her face, I guessed I wouldn"t like what she would say next. Changing the subject, I said, "Ian is going to be so jealous and I"m not sharing."
Her dark blond brows drew closer. "I thought you two were friends now." Her gaze darted to where Ian sat with a girl wearing a skintight red dress that showcased long legs I thankfully didn"t ever remember having wrapped around me.
"Ugh, maybe." I devoured two chocolates at once. "But he"s still a p.r.i.c.k."
Catching Ian"s eyes, Gianna waved at him. He winked in response. Definitely a p.r.i.c.k. "Is that girl related to him?" she asked, knowing the visitation guidelines.
"A second cousin," I told her with a straight face.
Gianna took in the l.u.s.tful look the girl gave Ian. "Ew!"
I chuckled at her disgusted demeanor. "I"m surprised your mom didn"t come with you to visit me."
"Ha, ha," she replied, a grin curling her pretty pink lips. "Actually, you remember my friend Gage I told you about on the phone last weekend?"
"Yes," I confirmed slowly.
"He gave me a ride. He"s parked outside, waiting for me."
Waiting for her. I hated the sound of that. I was the one waiting for her. Waiting for the freedom to kiss her anytime I chose. Waiting for the feel of her naked body against mine. Waiting to be inside her again.
I couldn"t completely hate this Gage guy. After all, he did bring my girl to me. "He touches you, I kick in his face the minute I"m out of here."
Fidgeting nervously, Gianna whispered, "Caleb, he"s just a friend."