Transition And Restart

Urufu knew of the strangest places, and he bought the strangest things . All of it food after a fashion . Most of what he shopped for their dinner she knew of, or at least had heard of . Some of it, however, Noriko saw for the first time in her life that afternoon .

"What"s he planning to cook?" she wondered when she sat waiting in the small living room while Urufu made himself busy in the kitchenette .

Noriko decided that wasn"t a question worth pursuing . Sooner or later she"d know anyway .

Bookcases lined one wall, and her eyes were drawn to it . She saw a strange mix of children"s books and literature aimed at young teenagers . Why Urufu wanted to read that kind of books was beyond her, especially when she realised an entire bookcase held English literature only .

With a book picked at random in her hand she stared at it . It was heavy, and most definitely not fiction . A Change to Learn, by some author she had never heard of before . With renewed interest she picked another t.i.tle . Iterative Processes: A Second Chance, and once again an unknown author .

"How could I forget he"s grown up after all . " She slipped the books back and looked at a few more t.i.tles . Organisational processes, accelerated quality management, responsive human resources decision making, and on and on . Most of it was beyond her grasp of understanding, but Noriko"s respect for Urufu grew another notch .

Advertis.e.m.e.nt"There"s a lot of effort behind your ad-hoc solutions . " She stared at his backside . "Funny how I was immediately drawn to you . You were nothing but a trouble maker . " Hero worship maybe . He had saved her after all, but Noriko knew it was something more profound than that . Had it been only worship of her knight in shining armour she wouldn"t have fallen in love with him again last year when he pretended to be a geek . "But you really are one, aren"t you?"

Noriko"s eyes left Urufu"s back and wandered across the bookcases again . "No, not a geek, but a professional? Or is that the same thing?" Heading towards the adult world wasn"t the same as being part of it, and there were aspects of it she still didn"t understand .

"You"re silent," Urufu suddenly said and turned . He gazed at her with an open question in his eyes .

Noriko smirked . "A little uncomfortable being alone with you here," she admitted . It was at least a part of the truth . The thoughts foremost in her mind she kept to herself .

"Why? I know it"s smaller than you"re used to, but I thought you"d feel better without anyone listening in on our conversation . "

"Urufu, you!" "Thank you for the consideration," she said and decided it wasn"t worth explaining anything . Another adult thing? "Have you forgotten what it was like to be a teenager?"

Noriko looked at the man trapped in a boy"s body . "Do you feel trapped? I think you do, and I believe you are . "

When Urufu gave her an uncertain smile Noriko felt her heart jump . "Those eyes, and that smile! But I prefer your grin . " In truth she longed for it; that wolfish grin filled with so much mischief and raw happiness .

"I need to understand your anger . " Because Noriko didn"t believe Urufu really was a violent man, or even an angry one . She recalled listening to him explain how he really was a teenager to a degree, and how he reacted like a kid even though he thought like a man .
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"But these days you just react . It"s like you"ve stopped thinking . "

"How are things with Kuri?" Noriko asked . She deliberately picked the most sensitive of topics .

By the stove Urufu flinched, but apart from that there was no reaction . "Strange you should ask now . She broke up with me in February, remember?"

Noriko walked along the bookcases and sat down in what had to be Urufu"s chair . An ultra ergonomic monster that must have cost a fortune . "You broke up with each other to be honest . " It wasn"t comfortable at all .

For a moment, just for a moment, colour rose to Urufu"s face, but Noriko saw how he fought his emotions down .

"I lost her anyway . "

Noriko waited for him to finish stirring a sauce .

"So why are you so angry now? Why didn"t you flare up in rage back then?" Because that was what Noriko genuinely couldn"t understand .

"You don"t… no my bad . I was the one who didn"t understand . " Urufu"s hand stroked a chin that had yet to grow any beard . It was the kind of gesture you"d expect from a middle aged man . "Back then, when I still didn"t know any j.a.panese . I was angry then as well . "

Suddenly a picture of a tall boy with raging eyes and flaming, spiky hair popped into Noriko"s mind . Her rescuer . The boy she gave her first love, even if it was only a one-sided crush . "Yeah, you were angry back then as well . " "Explain!" she said, even though she guessed .

"I was desperate to make it back home . I lost my wife and my kids . Then . . . " Urufu"s face mirrored two years" worth of memories . "Then I believe I gave up, and that made me angry . So I dyed my hair and behaved like some kind of hooligan . " His face broke into an embarra.s.sed grin, almost but not fully the grin Noriko wanted to see more than anything else .

"So it was like that after all . He"s angry with himself and blows up at any nearby target . " "You did the same when you were young? I mean the first time?"

Carrying a pot in his hands Urufu walked to the table and set it down . "No," he said when he stood upright again . "I didn"t dare back then . I was shy with girls, clumsy and had just found out I had an easy time making friends despite my shyness . "

"Shy? You?" Noriko stared after Urufu"s receding back as he went back to the kitchenette . "I don"t understand . "

"I made a lot of friends during university . Even became kind of popular . So I got a lot of self confidence, and that has stayed with me ever since . " He collected a couple of plates and a pair of gla.s.ses . "Back then being impotent didn"t scare me the way it does now . I"ve grown used to being in control, I guess . "

Urufu placed plates and gla.s.ses on the table . "Thank you for asking those questions," he said . "They"ve helped me understand more than anything else . You"re a wonderful friend . "

Something caught in Noriko"s throat and she barely stopped herself before she rushed up to hug him .