Maybe it wasn"t fair, but she really would do almost anything for him. Building a life just to leave it behind and starting all over again, however, wasn"t included in almost. When she got older she might change her mind. People did change after all, but right now she couldn"t see herself marry, have children, watch them grow up and just one day desert them the way Urufu had been forced to do."Marry, when did I start thinking about marry?" When Urufu started talking studying together for more than the life she had lived, that"s when. "We haven"t even slept together, so what gives me the right to think about marrying him?"
The random thoughts were all excuses. She might have forced the topic upon Kuri, but it wasn"t one she liked to linger on. Noriko admitted it to herself. She wanted him, she wanted a life with him, she wanted kids with him, but most of all she wanted him to want her. Maybe it wasn"t healthy, but it was what it was.
Short legs and long streets were, as always, a reason for her to be tardy, but now jumbled thoughts made her steps even slower than usual. Half an hour earlier she declined Kuri"s offer to share a taxi to their hotel, and by now she already had to apologise quite a few times to people she walked into.
"Attention on your surroundings." Urufu would have said that. He did, more than once, when they walked in magic greenery to meet Kuri earlier.
She stopped to pretend looking at the view offered by a wide boulevard. In truth it was a rather boring view with an endless line of temples darkening one side and the Kyoto Tower far behind her. She was reminded of an old paper back fantasy her parents had in their shelves, or rather a lot of them, all in hideous colours and written in English. Pratchett or something like that was the author, but a memory lingered of her mother telling her the real author of that scene was far older still.
"Kuri"s world. Those books belong to her world, and my parents"." That meant they belonged to Urufu"s as well, and Noriko sulked when she allowed that admission to climb foremost to her mind. That world wasn"t hers.
"How do I make mine his to share?" She dug in her pocket for her phone. Why not call him and ask?
"G.o.ds!" The inbox looked like as if she had stayed bedridden for days. "What"s going on? Jeniferu!" There were several messages from the charismatic little monster, and while she was more subdued since her disgusting experience she still retained that natural ability to make friends. Lots and lots of friends. Most of the circles where Noriko kept acquaintances swollen by dozens of new members told their story of Noriko"s new won fame.
"It just never ends, does it?" Among the comments were several which still echoed of the chaos last year. While Noriko suspected her life lost most of its familiar obscurity with only her test results being part of the rumour mill, the sheer magnitude of her blindness shocked her. From the moment she got involved with the arrivals her life was turned upside down.
"No, that"s not right." From the moment she made true friends she wanted around her for years and years ahead she became part of their lives. "I might as well admit it." She added her own share to the insanity they called high school days. Being one half of the twins including Ryu was more than enough to elevate her fame.
"But I never knew about you." Or rather she never accepted how much Urufu influenced those around him. Kuri"s stardom created an illusion of obscurity. Noriko shook her head and smiled. So she was famous among the Irishima first and second years as well now. She had no right being surprised. They made up the majority of the club after all.
"Third years?" That can"t be right. Those names definitely belonged to their seniors. "Ah, of course!" The first cultural festival. There were messages from members of the student council from that time. There was also one from Nao. Noriko stared at her phone. "I almost forgot." Reading his name hurt more than she thought it would. "Idiot! You should just have told me." But they would still have broken up. If not now then when he left school to pursue whatever dreams he had.
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Her steps brought her out of the perfect grid making up most of central Kyoto. Her hotel lay close by. Whatever thoughts she needed to digest in solitude had to be handled right now. "Time"s running out. Should I tell Kyoko?" That wasn"t the question. "Urufu?" Could couples keep secrets from each other?
Waiting for a taxi to pa.s.s her Noriko played with that question in her head. What would the adult answer be? It had to be the adult one, or else she wouldn"t be able to stay by Urufu"s side.
"Gah! My head hurts! I"m still a child after all." Suddenly all her wants felt like grand delusions. Life, marriage, children. Such grand dreams when she didn"t even know the answer to such a simple question. Two answers. Yes or no. What right did she have to aspire to a lifetime together if she couldn"t pick one out of two?
Urufu"s voice rang in her head. His admonishing voice, his loving voice, his scared voice, his arrogant voice, but foremost of them all, his caring voice. "Does it have to be easy?" it said. "Must there be just one answer?" it added. "I"ll listen to you even you have no answer." The last promise came with a timbre she knew all too well. Almost, she almost had her answer.
"Noriko! I was worried."
"Huh?" That didn"t sound like a ghost in her head. Noriko looked up from her phone. "Urufu!" "I felt like walking," she said.
He rushed to meet her. "Noriko, where have… Noriko, I hope you had fun."
There it was again. This time for real and not just in her head. Urufu"s voice held both uncertainty and worries. "Ah, I understand! He"s just older. He doesn"t know everything. He worries." Noriko opened her arms and allowed herself to be swallowed in his embrace. No, small as she was, she swallowed him up as well.
"So that"s it! You"re not an adult because you know everything. You"re an adult because you keep living despite not knowing anything at all." She made her decision.