Yesterday they left the cinema in high spirits. Now Ryu leaned against the steel frames carrying swings and studied the grim faces of his friends. On one swing Tomasu sat and studied his shoes. The other held Urufu who kept a subdued conversation with Tomasu going. They spoke in Swedish, so Ryu didn"t understand what they said. He didn"t need to understand though, and he wished it had been the other way around.Yukio left a few minutes earlier. He just growled something about idiots and a depressing lack of imagination. Apparently he"d spent the last of Valentine"s day a year ago here, and something about a repeat didn"t sit well with him.
"But it"s still different with Noriko." It was, but not for the reasons he kept alive in his mind. To begin with there was no giving up between his sister and Urufu. "At least you accepted her chocolate."
Ryu looked at Tomasu. He might be a dry geek, but the way something had gone out from his eyes had nothing to do with geekdom. "I"ve seen those eyes before." A year earlier. They were Urufu"s eyes from back then, and Kuri"s. "At least you didn"t break up."
"Dammit Ryu, I"m not getting through here. Some help please?"
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The words only gave birth to silence. "Help you? How? I gave up on Ai myself." Ryu shook his head. "Yukio maybe," he said. He didn"t want to remind Urufu that the way the two of them steam rolled all over himself worked as a great example of how not to give up. "They have to decide for themselves," Ryu said and made certain not to meet Tomasu"s eyes.
Darkness had long since fallen or else their appropriation of the swings would have met with disapproving stares from parents to children better suited for them. This was not the territory of high schoolers. Yukio could say whatever he wanted about romance manga and proper settings.
Urufu placed a hand on Tomasu"s shoulder and grimaced. "Kareyoshi, the b.a.s.t.a.r.d, robbed them of that option." A long sigh followed. "b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l, he"s still around p.i.s.sing on our lives!"
Ryu said nothing. His mother once told him how actions created an existence lasting far longer than the deed itself. That was the reason his interfering with Urufu and Noriko was nothing he ever wanted his mother to know about. "But I have a right to my disapproval as long as I don"t try to break them up."
"Kiddo, you"re the one with experience here."
"You"re wrong." Ryu shook his head. "Ai was my first. Having a fan club isn"t the same as playing around." He gave his statement another thought. "Look, I like the attention and all that. I just wasn"t all that interested in getting involved for real."
There was no way he could avoid looking at Tomasu any more. Urufu was being a douche even if Ryu suspected he didn"t know it. You spoke with people, not about them.
"What?" The question carried a sour tone to it, but at least Tomasu"s voice came alive again.
"I don"t understand," Ryu said.
"She"s afraid of me. I"m part of that. She needs to move on and I"m a weight around her shoulders."
There was no need for explaining "that". "I still don"t understand."
"What"s not to understand? Whenever I get too close she flinches away!"
It wasn"t whenever. Sometimes Jeniferu gathered up the bravery to snuggle up to her boyfriend, but Ryu admitted that Tomasu essentially was right. "That"s why I can "t understand. Noriko…" he began. Flashes of Noriko clinging to Urufu in all kinds of inappropriate situations raced through Ryu"s mind. "Noriko had a similar experience, but..."
"But she"s not afraid of Ulf?"
"Yeah, something like that."
Tomasu lowered his face again. "I don"t know all about it, but he saved her. Am I right?"
Ryu nodded mutely. From the corner of his eyes he saw how Urufu"s faced twisted with anger.
"I failed. She saw me failing."
That was unfair. Tomasu raced to her rescue faster than anyone else. It wasn"t his fault he was too late. Then understanding finally dawned on Ryu. "Unfair," he said.
"Unfair, you bet." Tomasu looked up and hid his face in his hands. "I can"t undo what happened. Unfair has nothing to do with that."
Urufu had stayed silent throughout the entire conversation, but now Ryu heard him draw for breath.
"The two of you decide then," Urufu said. "I hate it, but in the end you decide."
"You"re good friends, both of you." Tomasu grinned weakly. "You know, as long as I know she can smile with all of her face without a worry in her mind I"m happy."
"What about you?" Ryu asked. Weren"t you supposed to be a little selfish in a relationship?
"What about me? Do I want her to leave me? Of course not."
"So why don"t you…"
"She can"t smile with me. Without that smile, how could I be happy by her side?" The grin turned more honest. "Look, I"m being selfish. If I can"t have both her and her smile I"ll step down."
That didn"t make any sense to Ryu, but Urufu nodded from his swing.
"Fine," Urufu said. "When?"
Tomasu smirked, but his eyes had regained a little of their life. "White day. That"s when a good boyfriend returns his Valentine"s chocolate, isn"t it?"
"Your sense of irony sucks, you know that?"
"White day?"
With a nod Tomasu rose from his swing. "Maybe. We done here?"
"Sure."
Both men grabbed their bags. Halfway to the entrance of the playground Urufu turned. "Ryu?"
"I"ll stay a little."
Ryu watched them until they vanished into the darkness. With a little regret he opened his own bag and grabbed Kuri"s chocolate. He"d planned to eat it where she could see how much he appreciated her symbolic gift. It was sweet in his mouth, but somehow the flavour of bitter chocolate managed to reach through all that sugar.
"Strange," he thought. But it wasn"t, not really. The bitter taste had nothing to do with Kuri"s gift. It was all in his mind.