Chapter 702 - 702 Worry
702 Worry
There were many things that were much better said than kept to themselves.
Su Xiaoling could say to her whatever she could not say to Madam Zhao openly. Even if she could not change anything, she could vent her feelings.
In the past, when Su Xiaolu entered the palace, she had to avoid the secret guards and imperial guards patrolling. Now that she had the palace token, she was unimpeded.
The East Palace was quiet. Su Xiaolu met Dou Fu.
!!
Dou Fu brought her to the bedroom. Su Xiaolu asked Dou Fu, “Dou Fu, how has my sister been feeling recently? Tell me the truth and don’t hide it from me.”
Dou Fu pursed her lips and said in a low voice, “Fourth Miss, Miss has been in a gloomy mood recently. Please persuade her.”
“What happened?”
Su Xiaolu frowned. Could it be that Zhou Heng had changed his mind in just a few months this year?
Dou Fu looked worried. After hesitating for a moment, she said, “The courtiers have expressed their hope that the Crown Prince should take in concubines. People are saying that the princess will be the Crown Prince’s secondary consort.”
“Although the Crown Prince told Miss that he would never break his promise, Miss still took those words to heart.”
Dou Fu lowered her eyes after saying that.
Su Xiaolu also frowned slightly. This was a test and change of feelings.
Zhou Heng was the Crown Prince. If nothing went wrong, he would be the emperor in the future. How could he only have one woman in his harem?
Knowing this was one thing, but when all of this was really coming, how to accept it and adjust one’s mentality was another matter.
Before he really faced it, all his previous imagination and mental preparation were just a form of self-deception.
People were not as fragile or as strong as they thought.
Moreover, Su Xiaoling had just given birth to two daughters this year. After a woman gave birth, her emotions were even more sensitive. In ancient times, people would say that she had become crazy. Later on, it was called “postpartum depression”.
Su Xiaolu quickened her pace. She just wanted to see her sister, Su Xiaoling, as soon as possible.
When she entered the bedroom, Su Xiaolu heard Su Xiaoling’s voice. She instructed the maidservant, “Bring me a hot handkerchief.”
Su Xiaoling was personally taking care of the child and changing their diapers.
The palace maids carried basins of water and handed over what Su Xiaoling needed.
Hui Xiang stood at the side with a sword in her hand.
Su Xiaoling finished changing the diaper. She straightened her back and sighed.
Su Xiaolu went forward to support her and said gently, “Sister, sit down. I’ll ma.s.sage you.”
Su Xiaoling paused, then turned around and held Su Xiaolu’s hand in surprise. “Xiaolu, you’re back.”
Su Xiaoling looked at Su Xiaolu and her eyes turned red. She quickly raised her hand to wipe her tears and said apologetically, “Xiaolu, I don’t know what’s going on either. I’ve been crying a lot recently.”
Su Xiaolu hugged Su Xiaoling. She smiled and said, “It’s fine. I’m happy to see you. I want to cry too. I’m sorry, sis. I wasn’t with you when you gave birth. It’s been hard on you to face such difficult times alone.”
Su Xiaoling couldn’t hold back her tears to begin with. Hearing Su Xiaolu’s words, tears immediately fell. She sniffed and shook her head. “No, it’s not difficult.”
As a mother, how could she not work hard?
As a mother, she could understand the difficulties of being a woman more clearly. She was always worried that something would happen to the two children.
She would always think too much for no reason.
She wanted to tell Su Xiaolu that she was so tired, but when the words reached her mouth, they only turned into a choked swallow. She pursed her lips and shook her head with a bitter smile.
“How can it not be hard? Raising children is very hard. Besides, you’re raising two. My sister is the greatest mother.”
Su Xiaolu immediately said seriously. She hugged Su Xiaoling tightly. Her sister had lost weight.
It was difficult to alleviate mental fatigue.
Su Xiaolu waved her hand and asked the maidservants to leave.
Dou Fu and Hui Xiang also retreated to the door to guard it, leaving some s.p.a.ce for the two sisters.
The two children were very obedient. They were not asleep at this moment and looked at Su Xiaolu obediently.
Su Xiaolu pulled Su Xiaoling to the bed and sat down. She let Su Xiaoling lie down and ma.s.saged her shoulders and back. Su Xiaoling was a little embarra.s.sed. “Xiaolu, no. How can I let you ma.s.sage me?”
Su Xiaolu smiled. “Why not? Didn’t you ma.s.sage me enough when I was young?”
She injected some spiritual energy into Su Xiaoling to let her relax.
“Sis, tell me about your babies. Was Third Brother around when you gave birth?”
Su Xiaolu led the conversation.
Su Xiaoling pondered for a moment. She smiled helplessly and said, “It’s really painful to give birth. Little Brother Heng can’t go in to accompany me because of etiquette. He brought mother in to accompany me.”
“With Mother around, I was not that worried. Apart from the pain, everything went smoothly. Weiwei and Xuanxuan are both sensible children and didn’t make me suffer too much.”
Su Xiaoling’s emotions were calm, but Su Xiaolu still caught that slight fluctuation.
“Are the etiquettes in the palace so complicated? Although some people believe in this, there are also many men who personally accompany their wives during birth. If Third Brother wasn’t the Crown Prince and didn’t have so many shackles, he would definitely be willing to accompany you.”
Su Xiaolu asked calmly. She felt that this might be the reason.
Su Xiaoling sniffed and said unnaturally, “I-I think so.”
The grievances and regrets in her heart surged. Su Xiaoling was so bitter that she almost cried. She was worried that Su Xiaolu would worry about her. She took a deep breath and quickly said, “Although Little Brother Heng didn’t accompany me, he came to my side immediately after the two children were born. Weiwei and Xuanxuan are the quickest to be t.i.tled princesses.”
Thinking of this, Su Xiaoling felt much more comforted. She felt that she was being fussy. Things were already so good. She should be satisfied.
But every time she thought of it, she remembered how when she was in so much pain and wanted to see, but he was not around. She couldn’t find him no matter what. Every time she thought of this moment, her heart felt sad and filled with grievances. She wanted to lose her temper and make a scene, but rationality would pull her into reality. The rational her couldn’t do such an insensible thing.
Therefore, she suppressed her crazy mentality again and again. She did not know how long she could suppress it for. There was only one thought in her heart. She could only hold it in and suppress it.
“Xiaolu, I’m still important to him.”
Su Xiaoling swallowed. For some reason, she couldn’t pretend in front of Su Xiaolu. When she said this, she felt bitter.
“Of course. If he doesn’t think that way anymore, I’ll take you to travel the world.”
Su Xiaolu climbed onto the bed and leaned against Su Xiaoling. The two sisters hugged each other. Su Xiaolu cried.
“Xiaolu, I feel so uncomfortable. Why didn’t he come in back then? Why? Am I not as important as his position as the Crown Prince in his heart? Sniff… He will have other women in the future. He will gradually not like me so much.” This was the source of her pain. She thought that she was prepared, but when all of this was about to happen, she realized that a person’s heart was too small.