No. 3: Preparations for transmigration (2)
Scene D – Girls" dormitories.
Roommate A: "Say…do you guys think Minmin"s in love?"
Roommate B: "How come?"
Roommate A: "Just look, she"s been using a brush to write poetry all day, but it"s all those melancholy ones about autumn, or lovesick ones about spring, mournful and wistful…"
Roommate B: "Is that it. Sad and mournful poems…"
Hearing this, Minmin flung down her brush and lifted her head from the Xuan paper, furious. "Ridiculous! Who"s been writing nothing but sad and mournful poems? You"re all ignorant! There"s a low probability of sad and mournful poems ever showing up!" (That"s not what you should be angry about, right…)
"Let me tell you, girls who transmigrate don"t have to be pretty, but they have to know how to recite poetry! And it"s most likely it"ll be odes to tea! After that, it"s odes to plum blossom, orchids, bamboo, and chrysanthemums1, then rivers, streams, lakes or oceans…of course, it"s common to sing praises of peace and prosperity as well to make the emperor happy. Anyways, reciting poetry isn"t the main issue, the point is that you have to be flexible and imaginative, so the first thing to do is to understand the different time periods! You can"t recite Li Bai"s2 poems to Kangxi3 and claim you composed it yourself…"
Roommate C, who had been keeping silent all this time: "Minmin, you"re preparing for transmigration, not a Chinese language exam, calm down…"
—
Scene E – At Home.
Minmin wrapped her arms around her dad like an octopus. "Dad, dad, teach me how to play weiqi4~. Is there any way for me to beat our neighbor Uncle Liu within a year?"
Dad: "Your old dad"s been playing Uncle Liu for over a decade, but I"ve never won against him. He"s the champion of Beijing"s Amateur circle. One year? Keep dreaming!"
Minmin: "Dad, you"re lacking some fighting will, hehe~ Your daughter will fire you up…you"ll become the flame itself~burning me grandly and spectacularly…singing as I walk on."
—
Neighbors on the next day:
"Little Zhong, ah~" (Little Zhong was Minmin"s father.) "You"ve got guts! Good!"
"Brother Zhao," (name for Minmin"s dad.) "I really admire you. You even told Uncle Liu that you"ll completely wipe him out! My idol!"
"Hey! Old Zhao!" (name for Minmin"s dad.) "I"m seriously moved! When the time comes, us fellows will definitely be watching the showdown!"
"Father of my child," (name for Minmin"s dad.) "I haven"t seen you act so dashingly since we got married! So determined to have your revenge without getting crushed! Don"t worry, I"ll support you wholeheartedly!"
Chatter broke out, leaving Minmin"s father at a loss. Minmin carefully drew closer to her dad and quietly sounded him out. "That, um, dad, I wrote a challenge in your name to Uncle Liu and stuck it on the entrance to the hutong5."
"What did you say?!" the almost breathless father of Minmin grabbed her as he swayed. "You…what did you write? Oh G.o.d in Heaven, why did you give me such a little demon king to be my daughter?" He began to cry.
Minmin bore the weight of her unsteady father and answered calmly. "Actually, I didn"t write anything shameful, just…"
Liu, you brat! You"ve been bullying me for years (you never taking out the trash in the corridor, you always borrow our family"s balcony to dry your laundry)! All these trifles have built up to a point I can"t bear it anymore! One year later, I"ll meet you in the broken-down pavilion outside the hutong and face you in a match of weiqi! The loser will in charge of cleaning up the corridor for an entire year! I, Zhao Zhong6, vow here and now that I"ll thoroughly slaughter you! On this day next year, let"s not leave without seeing each other!
–2005, 2, 6, Minmin the ghostwriter.
"…ah, Dad! Dad, why did you faint away?!"
In the end, Minmin"s dad was unable to extricate himself from a difficult situation. He began to train in weiqi in earnest, with Minmin as his sole training partner. After getting a famous weiqi manual, Minmin"s dad began to study it, while Minmin improved her skills by a thousand li7 a day…
—
Reality:
Minmin: "After all, this is considered one of the ancient past"s sole refined amus.e.m.e.nts! Even if it"s not to pa.s.s the time, it can make a person seem deep and profound, right?"
—
Scene F.
Friend A: "Minmin, I get that you"re preparing to transmigrate, but why are you signing up for French and j.a.panese cla.s.ses?"
Minmin: "Big sis, you"re too narrow-minded~ How do you know I"ll definitely transmigrate to ancient China and not some other country? You should read Monogatari of Heian-kyo"s Lady Song8 and related works…I"m being doubly prepared."
—
Scene G – Political ideology cla.s.s in university.
Teacher: "Zhao Minmin! What kind of random books are you reading instead of listening to cla.s.s! Girls nowadays just like to read romance novels or what they call something love (author: she means boys" love). Each generation is worse than the last, what kind of inner meaning do these stories have? Where can they get the proper bearing? …hand over that book!"
Minmin handed it over to the lectern. Upon the cover of the book were embossed in gilded lettering: The Prince, by Machiavelli. The teacher stiffened in response…
—
Post-War History International Relations Cla.s.s.
Teacher: "Student Zhao Minmin, what kind of book are you reading there with your head bowed?"
Minmin: "Introduction to Administration and Management."
Teacher: "… …"
—
Marxist Political Economy Cla.s.s.
Teacher: "Hey! That female student over there! What are you looking at? Don"t you know it"s cla.s.s time? Did you understand any of the economic theories I explained just then?"
Minmin: "I did. I"m reading Studies of Contemporary Entrepreneurship and Marketing."
Teacher: "… …"
—
Deng Xiaoping Theory Cla.s.s.
Teacher: "Zhao Minmin, what are you reading? Did you understand the theory I just explained?"
Minmin: "I"m currently deepening my understanding. This is Sun Zi"s The Art of War."
Teacher: "… …"
—
Cla.s.sical Chinese Literature Cla.s.s.
Teacher: "…and so, modern people today! They forget the fundamentals! How many of you know of the five grains9? Do you know what rice paddies look like? ….aye, that female student over there, what are you reading?"
Minmin: "Complete Records of Terracing Methods."
Teacher: "… …"
—
Higher Mathematics Cla.s.s.
Teacher: "Don"t get annoyed with just calculating numbers! Theory is used in the service of practical applications! Today"s scratch work paper is tomorrow"s high buildings and large mansions! …Zhao Minmin! What are you reading?"
Minmin: "Smelting Techniques of Iron."
Teacher: "… …"
—
It was a whole new realm being so absentminded in cla.s.s…
plum blossom…chrysanthemums (梅兰竹菊) – mei lan zhu ju, also known as the Four Gentlemen or Four n.o.ble Ones, popular subjects of poetry.Li Bai (李白) – a famous poet of the Tang Dynasty (618-907).Kangxi (康熙) – fourth emperor of the Qing Dynasty (1644-1912).weiqi (围棋) – game played with black and white pieces on a board of 361 crosses, also known as Go.hutong (胡同) – a type of narrow lane/alley commonly a.s.sociated with northern Chinese cities, especially Beijing. Houses line both sides of the hutong in close proximity.Zhao Zhong (赵忠) – Zhao is a surname, Zhong means "loyal, devoted, honest."li (里) – unit of measurement about a third as long as an English mile. (平安京宋姬物语) – pinganjing songji wuyu, a webnovel about a modern girl who transmigrates to China"s Song Dynasty and ends up in Kyoto in j.a.pan instead.five grains (五谷) – rice, two kinds of millet, wheat and beans; earliest food crops.