The bathroom floor was icy. The water from the tap was icy. He ran and ran the hot water. The temperature didn"t change. He stuck his head out of the bathroom door. Madeleine was shimmying into a dress. She never wore dresses in the daytime.
"How long do I wait for hot water?"
"There"s no hot water in the morning here. Didn"t I tell you? Grandmother believes morning baths are bad for the health. The hot water is turned on at two in the afternoon so that you can have a hot bath between four and six, in time for supper."
"Are you joking?"
"Was it funny?"
"So cold water is all I get?"
"It"s good for what ails you."
He splashed the stuff onto his lace and shivered into the face towel. He toyed with the idea of not shaving-his beard wasn"t all that heavy and the color was light, and he often went a day without shaving. But Grandmother-he had to make the right impression on her, didn"t he? If Mad was wearing a dress...
A few minutes later, dressed in sweater and slacks-she had warned him not to bring jeans, as there would be no occasion for which they would be regarded as appropriate-he gave Madeleine his arm, opened the door, and led her out into the corridor.
A man was standing there, arms folded. He had a beard, dark and cut to a point at the chin. His bearing was military, but his clothing was civilian. A suit, and rather an old-fashioned one. "About time the two of you came out of there."
"Why should it have bothered you, Uncle Stephen?" said Madeleine in a sickeningly sweet tone. "Did you need to use our bathroom?"
"Your grandmother wouldn"t let anyone eat breakfast till you came down."
"So she"s in a good mood. Glad to hear it."
Uncle Stephen scowled and marched down the stairs.
"She waited breakfast for us?" asked Quentin, incredulous. "It"s noon!"
"It"s actually a good sign, believe it or not," said Madeleine. "If she were angry at me, she would have made everybody else eat at dawn, and then make sure there was nothing in the kitchen for us to eat."
"So she makes everybody else fast, because she"s feeling well-disposed toward you?"
"It"s never a question of whether there will be suffering, Tin. The only question is who"s going to be the victim. So far so good."
"Who"s Uncle Stephen?"
"My father"s brother."
"He"s here, but your father isn"t?"
"My father has a life."
"So Uncle Stephen isn"t even a blood relative of the family? Just an in-law?"
"I didn"t say that. My mother and father are cousins."
"Second cousins?"
"Wouldn"t you like it better if I told you yes? But no. Uncle Stephen"s father and Grandmother were brother and sister."
"But Grandmother got the house?"
"Grandmother gets what she wants. Except me."
Madeleine"s parents were first cousins. Well, that didn"t necessarily mean anything. Cousins marrying didn"t mean there would would be birth defects, only that the likelihood was increased. be birth defects, only that the likelihood was increased.
They reached the main floor and Madeleine nodded toward a pair of doors standing only slightly ajar. "During the winter we always have breakfast in the library. The sun warms the room."
"Sounds cheerful."
As they walked toward the doors, Madeleine added, "I should warn you that Grandmother probably won"t speak to you."
"You"ve got to be kidding."
"Don"t take it personally. She likes to disorient people. She can go weeks at a time without speaking a word."
"Then how do people know what she wants?"
"Oh, trust me, she makes her wishes known." Madeleine was still chuckling as they pa.s.sed through the doors into the library.
The walls were lined with books, floor to ceiling, just as in the grande dame"s house, but there was no ladder. Apparently no one ever needed the books on the top shelves. Quentin got the feeling that this wasn"t a living library, constantly being added to, borrowed from. Rather it was a library by custom. Some ancestor had bought the books, but no one had actually read any of them in a century. They were wallpaper.
The heart of the room now was the long table that ran parallel to the array of floor-to-ceiling windows. It was of a dark wood polished so deeply that the scant morning light from the windows shone every bit as brightly in reflection as in reality. The bone-white china also had a deep l.u.s.ter, and the crystal was so fine that it seemed not to exist except as bright sparkles of light in the air.
Seated in formal array around the table were six adults, with two empty chairs for Quentin and Madeleine. The empty chairs were at opposite corners of the table.
Everyone"s eyes were on them, of course, except for the bent, gray-haired woman, shawled and stooped, who sat with her back to them in the tall chair at the head of the table. Grandmother, obviously, since no one else in the room could possibly be a candidate. The only other woman at the table was in her fifties at the oldest, which made it impossible for her to be the ruler of this roost.
Madeleine led Quentin forward quite boldly until her hand was resting on the tall back of Grandmother"s throne. "How lovely to see you all. May I present my husband, Quentin Fears. You may call him Mr. Fears. And you may call me Mrs. Fears. Quentin, darling, allow me to introduce my family."
She was going to have her family call her Mrs. Fears? Only with difficulty did Quentin keep his broad smile riveted to his face.
"Uncle Stephen you met in the hall upstairs."
Uncle Stephen half-rose from his chair. "Charmed, I"m sure."
"The pleasure is mine," said Quentin, relying more on dim memories of dialogue from high school Spanish cla.s.s than on any actual knowledge of formal manners. "Am I to call you Uncle Stephen?"
"If you should have occasion to address me, Mr. Fears," said Uncle Stephen, "you may feel free to call me "sir." "
"Thank you, sir," said Quentin, trying to keep the irony out of his voice.
Madeleine laughed lightly. "Uncle Stephen was in the military for a few minutes during the Korean War and he allows no one to forget it-though I"m never sure whether he understood the difference between the Korean and Crimean wars. He"s a Light Brigade-ish sort of soldier at heart. Ours but to do and die, right, Uncle Stephen?"
"Only Madeleine may speak to me so jocularly," said Uncle Stephen coldly, addressing Quentin. "In case you thought her jaunty airs might be tolerated in someone else."
"I"ll try to avoid error, sir," said Quentin.
"The charming lady next to Uncle Stephen is Aunt Athena. She is Grandmother"s youngest sister, the one who never married. Her real name is Minerva, but she hated it and chose the Greek version of the name when she was in her twenties. Aunt Athena is noted for her wisdom."
Aunt Athena smiled broadly. "Oh, Magdalena, I"ve missed you so much. Where have you been?"
"Busy busy busy," said Madeleine. "Isn"t my husband a fine one?"
"Husbands are usually so overrated. But as long as he makes you pregnant and you produce an heir to this great empire of love." Aunt Athena suddenly realized what she had said, blushed, and pressed her hands to her cheeks. "Did I say "pregnant"? Oh, what a tongue I have."
"The next empty chair," said Madeleine, "is yours, Quentin, but I fear that my chair, which is next to it at the foot of the table, is inappropriately occupied."
The young man sitting there-he could be no more than thirty-looked up and grinned saucily. "Grandmother lets me sit here all the time now, Mrs. Fears."
"But not when I"m home, Paul. We"ve had this discussion before."
"It"s a chair, darling," said Paul. "Just a chair. You can sit anywhere."
"Paul is my mother"s younger brother," said Madeleine. "He"s really forty-five. He only looks so young because he wears makeup. He"s also very short and wears lifts in his shoes. I have no doubt that he"s sitting on a dictionary right now."
"Charming as ever, aren"t you, darling?" said Paul. "Maddy was always my favorite niece, Mr. Fears. You can call me Paul, by the way. And don"t go near the bluffs with Maddy. She"s a pusher."
"Move," said Madeleine. "And try not to lick the forks before you do."
Paul got up and walked around the table to the other empty chair, at Grandmother"s right hand. At the same time, Madeleine led Quentin around the table the other way, waiting for him to help her into the chair at the foot of the table. There really was a dictionary sitting there. She handed it to him. Heavy. After a moment"s hesitation he set it on the buffet a few paces beyond the table. He rushed back to help Madeleine slide gracefully into her chair and push it up to the table. Not until he was seated himself, at her right hand, did he get a chance to look up to the head of the table and see the face of the fabled Grandmother.
She was asleep.
Madeleine continued the introductions. "To my immediate left is Simon. Simon is a friend of the family. He"s been living here since... when was it, Simon? 1950? Was Truman still president?"
Simon looked bashful and confused. In his seventies, he had only the barest fringe of white hair. He ran one hand and then the other over his scalp. "The Cryers have always been extraordinarily generous to one who has nothing to offer but his meager friendship, which, despite its little value, is at least constant."
"I"m pleased to meet you," said Quentin, starting to rise from his seat.
"No don"t!" cried Simon. "Don"t get up! Not to me! Pretend I"m not here!" Then he hunched his head toward one shoulder and grinned as his body shook and his tongue darted in and out at the corner of his mouth. Apparently this was what pa.s.sed for laughter in the obsequious Simon.
"Keeping Simon here is one of Grandmother"s aesthetic statements," said Madeleine.
The comment stung Quentin with its vicious-ness. "Mad," he said softly.
She grinned and patted his hand. "He"s deaf as a post, darling. And dumb as a stump."
Since Simon had just finished speaking, he could only a.s.sume that she meant "dumb" in the sense of "stupid."
"And last but not least," said Madeleine, "is my cousin Jude. I"m not sure where on the convoluted family tree he actually fits, but he"s long been a favorite of Grandmother"s and as long as she lives, he"ll have a place at her side."
"Oh, Mrs. Fears, you"re always such a lark!" cried Jude. He was a bushy-eyebrowed old codger, even taller apparently than Uncle Stephen, but stooped so far that his head was rather near his plate, and he had to lift his head to bring the goblet to his lips. "Howdy, Mr. Fears. We"re glad Madeleine-Mrs. Fears-found her a fine young man like you. Welcome and glad glad, we are to know you. Are you really richer than G.o.d?"
"Now, Cousin Jude," said Madeleine, "you know that G.o.d"s millions are counted in a more dependable currency than American dollars. There"s no comparing."
Cousin Jude thought this was the funniest joke. As the old man laughed, Quentin"s eyes wandered to the head of the table, where he was startled to see that Grandmother"s eyes were wide open, staring at him like headlights on bright.
Quentin turned to Madeleine and spoke softly. "Your grandmother..."
"Yes, Tin?"
But glancing back at the old lady, he was chagrined to see that her eyes were closed again.
"I thought she was awake."
"Oh, she"s hearing everything, be sure of that. In and out of sleep, but aware all the time. And she has the hearing of a bat, so she"s listening to our little whispers right now. Aren"t you, Grandmother."
But Grandmother"s eyes remained closed, her face slack with sleep.
At her right hand, Uncle Paul leaned forward with a grin. "Going to introduce me again, darling? I can change my name if you"d like."
"No need, Uncle Paul," said Madeleine. "Shall I ring for breakfast?"
"Please," said Uncle Stephen. "Some of us need to take nourishment at regular intervals."
"It"s your bell, dear," said Aunt Athena.
Madeleine reached out and rang a small bell that sat beside her place at the table. It occurred to Quentin that hers was the place where Uncle Paul had been sitting. So he really had been an interloper there.
As soon as the bell rang, the same quiet servant from the day before opened the door from the butler"s pantry, and two footmen came in with steaming plates, one of biscuits and one of scrambled eggs and bacon. Both began serving with Madeleine, and worked their way down the two sides of the table, crossing behind Grandmother and working up the other way. But no food was put on Grandmother"s plate.
The collection of people around the table was odd, Quentin supposed, and there were certainly family tensions, but he couldn"t help noticing that it was Madeleine who seemed to rule here, not Grandmother. It wasn"t an idea he liked much, that Madeleine herself was the main source of family tension. And it wasn"t fair, either. He had no idea of what had actually gone before. All the hostility might well have been earned. What did he know of these people? Uncle Paul, with his smarmy smile and ingratiating manner, was only fifteen years older than Madeleine but looked her age. For all Quentin knew, Paul might have molested Madeleine when she was a girl, or tried to; he might richly deserve Madeleine"s goading. Not that Quentin took such speculation seriously, but after all, Madeleine had had recoiled from his first attempt at any kind of serious physical intimacy with her. Wasn"t it possible that Paul-or someone-had done something which made even a husband"s caress at first repellent to her? recoiled from his first attempt at any kind of serious physical intimacy with her. Wasn"t it possible that Paul-or someone-had done something which made even a husband"s caress at first repellent to her?
No, no, it wasn"t right to start a.s.signing unspeakable crimes to strangers. If Madeleine hadn"t accused them, why should he?
The eggs were hot, the bacon cooked perfectly. The biscuits were steaming, freshly sliced, the b.u.t.ter still melting inside them. Whatever other failings this house might have, the cuisine had the simple perfection that approached the platonic ideal. Not scrambled eggs, but the the scrambled eggs that all other scrambled eggs were imitating. The bacon of bacon, the biscuit of biscuits. scrambled eggs that all other scrambled eggs were imitating. The bacon of bacon, the biscuit of biscuits.
"Delicious," said Quentin to Madeleine.
She smiled, then leaned close to him and whispered, "Tin, in the upper cla.s.ses one doesn"t compliment the food. It"s a.s.sumed that the food will always be perfect, and it isn"t to be discussed."
He started to laugh, but caught himself when he realized she wasn"t joking. All he could do was look at her oddly for a moment and then dig in to eat more. This was the food she was used to; he cringed to think of where he had taken her, what he had cooked for her. He had never wanted to live rich, but when they built a house, it would have to have a kitchen where a first-cla.s.s chef would be glad to cook; and the chef would have to have a budget that would allow the acquisition of such ingredients. He could do no less for Madeleine, even if she said she didn"t need such things.
The footmen came back for a second pa.s.s, this time with fruit-slices of pear so ripe they dissolved sweetly in his mouth almost without chewing; chunks of fresh pineapple with not a trace of acid sting to them; raspberries so plump and tart that the flavor seemed to dart through his whole face the moment he bit down on one. He closed his eyes to enjoy the perfect flavor without distraction.
"He"s asleep!" crowed Simon. "Put him right out!"
Quentin opened his eyes, startled.
Simon looked crestfallen. "Oh, shame! No nap after all! Poor boy! Newlyweds get no sleep at all, do they!"
Madeleine put her hand on Quentin"s knee under the table, to still his response. "Now, Simon," she said loudly, presumably to pierce Simon"s deafness. "Mr. Fears is still a young man. He doesn"t think of a nap as recreation yet."
"Not recreation!" cried Simon. "A feat! The great Olympic monathlon! To sleep, perchance not to dream! To obliviate one"s dire sins in the wine of night!"
Grandmother was looking at Quentin again. And this time her eyes didn"t close when he glanced at Madeleine and touched her sleeve.