That broke down. Candor insisted once again on his admitting that he himself would have done exactly the same thing. It never occurred to him to regret, even for a moment, that he had not taken her at her word, and had not accepted her offer. That would have been to spoil his dream, not to realize it. He asked perfection or nothing, being still unhealed of that presumptuous way of his, which bade the world go hang if it would not give him exactly what he chose. The Tristram motto was still, "No compromise!"
An unexpected ally came to his a.s.sistance. He received a sudden summons from Mr Disney. He found him at work, rather weary and dishevelled. He let Harry in at once, but kept him waiting while he transacted some other business. Here was the place to see him, not in a drawing-room; his brusque words and quick decisions enabled him to do two men"s work.
He turned to Harry and said without preface:
"We"re going to arbitrate this Barililand question, on behalf of the Company, you know, as well as ourselves. Another instance of my weakness! Lord Murchison"s going over for us. He starts in a fortnight.
He asked me to recommend him a secretary. Will you go?"
Here was help in avoiding Cecily. But what about Blinkhampton? Harry hesitated a moment.
"I should like it, but I"ve contracted certain obligations of a business kind at home," he said.
"Well, if you"re bound, keep your word and do the work. If you find you"re not, I should advise you to take this. It"s a good beginning.
This is Tuesday. Tell me on Sat.u.r.day. Good-by." He rang a hand-bell on the table, and, as his secretary entered, said, "The Canadian papers, please."
"I"m very grateful to you, anyhow."
"That"s all right, Tristram. Good-by."
There was no doubt what would be the practical way of showing grat.i.tude.
Harry went out.
He left Mr Disney"s presence determined to accept the offer if Iver could spare his services for the time. The determining cause was still Blent, or his cousin at Blent. Blinkhampton was not far enough away; it rather threw him with people who belonged to the old life than parted him from them. He was weak himself too; while the people were at hand, he would seek them, as he had sought Lady Evenswood. At the Arbitration he would be far off, beyond the narrow seas and among folk who, recognizing the peculiarity of his position, would make a point of not mentioning Blent or speaking of anybody connected with it. It was from this point of view that he was inclined toward the offer, and he did not disguise it from himself; but for it he would rather have gone on with Blinkhampton, perhaps because he had a free hand there, while he could go to the Arbitration only as a subordinate. Blent apart, the offer was valuable to him as a sign of Disney"s appreciation rather than on its own account.
He went home and wrote to Iver. The letter weighed all considerations save the one which really weighed with him; he put himself fairly in Iver"s hands but did not conceal his own wish; he knew that if Iver were against the idea on solid business grounds, he would not be affected by Harry"s personal preference. But the business reasons, when examined, did not seem very serious, and Harry thought that he would get leave to go. He rose from his writing with a long sigh. If he received the answer he expected, he was at the parting of the ways; and he had chosen the path that led directly and finally away from Blent.
An evening paper was brought to him. A tremendous headline caught his notice. "Resignation of Lord Hove! He will not arbitrate about Barililand. Will the Government break up?" Probably not, thought Harry; and it was odd to reflect that, if Lord Hove had got his way, he would have lost his heroic remedy. So great things and small touch and intersect one another. Perhaps Theo (who could now settle that question about the kicking with his friends) would maintain that Flora Disney had talked too much to Harry at dinner, instead of taking all pains to soothe Lord Hove!
It was his last struggle; he had no doubt that he could win, but the fight was very fierce. Impatient of his quiet rooms, he went out into the crowded streets. At first he found himself envying everybody he pa.s.sed--the cabman on his box, the rough young fellows escaped from the factory, the man who sold matches and had no cares beyond food and a bed. But presently he forgot them all and walked among shadows. He was at Blent in spirit, sometimes with Addie Tristram, sometimes with Cecily. His imagination undid what his hand had done; he was smiling again at the efforts of Duplay to frighten or to displace him. Thus he would be happy for a moment, till reality came back and a dead dulness settled on his soul. Half afraid of himself, he turned round and made for home again; he could not be sure of his self-control. But again he mastered that, and again paced the streets, now in a grim resolution to tire mind and body, so that these visions should have nothing to work on and, finding blank unresponsive weariness, should go their ways and leave him in an insensible fatigue. Ever since he disclaimed his inheritance he had been living in a stress of excitement that had given him a fort.i.tude half unnatural; now this support seemed to fail, and with it went the power to bear.
The remedy worked well; at eight o"clock he found himself very tired, very hungry, unexpectedly composed. He turned into a little restaurant to dine. The place was crowded, and rather shamefacedly (as is the national way) he sat down at a small table opposite a girl in a light-blue blouse and a very big hat, who was eating risotto and drinking lager beer. She a.s.sumed an air of exaggerated primness and gentility, keeping her eyes down toward her plate, and putting very small quant.i.ties into her mouth at a time. Glad of distraction, Harry watched her with amus.e.m.e.nt. At last she glanced up stealthily.
"A fine evening," he said, as he started on his chop.
"Very seasonable," she began in a mincing tone; but suddenly she broke off to exclaim in a voice and accent more natural and spontaneous, "Good gracious, I"ve seen you before, haven"t I?"
"I"m not aware that I ever had the honor," said Harry.
"Well, I know your face, anyhow." She was looking at him and searching her memory. "You"re not at the halls, are you?"
"No, I"m not at the halls."
"Well, I do know your face--Why, yes, I"ve seen your face in the papers.
I shall get it in a minute now--don"t you tell me." She studied him with determination. Harry ate away in contented amus.e.m.e.nt. "Yes, you"re the man who--why, yes, you"re Tristram?"
"That"s right. I"m Tristram."
"Well, to think of that! Meeting you! Well, I shall have something to tell the girls. Why, a friend of mine wrote down to the country, special, for your photo."
"That must have proved a disappointment, I"m afraid. The romance was better than the hero."
"You may say romance!" she conceded heartily. "To be a lord and----!"
She leant forward. "I say, how do you get your living now?"
"Gone into the building-trade," he answered.
"You surprise me!" The observation was evidently meant to be extremely civil. "But there, it isn"t so much what your job is as having some job.
That"s what I say."
"I wish I always said--and thought--things as sensible;" and he took courage to offer her another gla.s.s of lager. She accepted with a slight recrudescence of primness; but her eyes did not leave him now. "I never did!" he heard her murmur as she raised her gla.s.s. "Well, here"s luck to you, sir! (He had been a lord even if he were now a builder). You did the straight thing in the end."
"What?" asked Harry, a little startled.
"Well, some did say as you"d known it all along. Oh, I don"t say so; some did."
Harry began to laugh. "It doesn"t matter, does it, if I did the straight thing in the end?"
"I"m sure as I shouldn"t blame you if you had been a bit tempted. I know what that is! Well, sir, I"ll say good-evening."
"Good-evening, miss, and thank you very much," said Harry, rising as she rose. His manner had its old touch of lordliness. His friends criticised that sometimes; this young lady evidently approved.
"You"ve no cause to thank me," said she, with an admiring look.
"Yes, I have. As it happened, I believe I wanted somebody to remind me that I had done the straight thing in the end, and I"m much obliged to you for doing it."
"Well, I shall have something to tell the girls!" she said again in wondering tones, as she nodded to him and turned slowly away.
Harry was comforted. The stress of his pain was past. He sat on over his simple meal in a leisurely comfortable fashion. He was happy in the fact that his enemy had at least nothing with which she could reproach him, that he had no reason for not holding his head erect before her. And the girl"s philosophy had been good. He had a job, and that was the great thing in this world. He felt confident that the struggle was won now, and that it would never have to be fought again in so severe a fashion.
His self-respect was intact; if he had been beaten, he would never have forgiven himself.
He regained his rooms. A letter lay waiting for him on the table. He opened it and found that it was from Mina Zabriska.
"We are back here," she wrote. "I am staying at Blent till my uncle comes down. I must write and say good-by to you. I dare say we shall never meet again, or merely by chance. I am very unhappy about it all, but with two people like Cecily and you nothing else could have happened. I see that now, and I"m not going to try to interfere any more. I shan"t ask you to forgive me for interfering, because you"ve made the result quite enough punishment for anything I did wrong. And now Cecily goes about looking just like you--hard and proud and grim; and she"s begun to move things about and alter arrangements at Blent. That"s what brings it home to me most of all. ("And to me," interposed Harry as he read.) If I was the sort of woman you think me, I should go on writing to you. But I shan"t write again. I am going to stay at Merrion through the winter, and since you won"t come here, this is the last of me for a long time anyhow. Oh, you Tristrams! Good-by,
MINA ZABRISKA."
"Poor little Imp!" said Harry. "She"s a very good sort; and she seems about right. It"s the end of everything." He paused and looked round.
"Except of these rooms--and my work--and, well, life at large, you know!" He laughed in the sudden realization of how much was left after there was an end of all--life to be lived, work to be done, enjoyments to be won. He could know this, although he could hardly yet feel it in any very genuine fashion. He could project his mind forward to a future appreciation of what he could not at the moment relish; and he saw that life would be full and rich with him, even although there were an end of all. "But I don"t believe," he said to himself, slowly smiling, "that I should ever have come to understand that or to--to fulfil it unless I had--what did the girl say?--done the straight thing in the end, and come out of Blent. Well, old Blent, good-by!" He crumpled up Mina"s letter, and flung it into the grate.
The maid-servant opened the door. "Two gentlemen to see you, sir," she said.
"Oh, say I"m busy----" he began.
"We must see you, please," insisted Mr Jenkinson Neeld, with unusual firmness. He turned to the man with him, saying: "Here is Mr Tristram, Colonel Edge."
XXV