He felt the tiny stones in the pile over the entrance clatter to the cave floor. He could barely hear them tinkle, but the vibrations in the stone came to him.
He turned his head for a moment, to see what was happening. His eyes opened wide in terror as he saw the supporting rubble drop away, leaving the huge rock tottering in its place. The great stone slid gratingly out of its niche and crashed to the floor of the cave, sending clouds of rock-dust roiling, completely blocking off the mouth of the cave. Sealing it permanently.
Claybourne could only stand and watch, horror and a constriction in his throat.
His light remained fixed on the cave-in, reflecting back glints of gold as the dust from the slide swirled itself into small pillars, rising into the thin air.
Then he heard the rumble.
The sound struck him like a million trumpets, all screaming at once. He turned, stumbling, his torch flicking back toward thefetl .
Thefetl sat up on its four back legs, contentedly washing a front paw with a long red tongue that flicked in and out between twelve-inch incisors. The lighter black of a small hole behind him gave an odd illusion of depth to the waiting beast.
Claybourne watched transfixed as the animal slowly got to its feet and pad-pad-padded toward him, the tongue slipping quickly in and out, in and out . . .
Suddenly coming to his senses, Claybourne stepped back a pace and levelled the mola.s.ses-gun, pulled the trigger. The stream of webbing emerged with a vibrant hiss, sped toward the monstrousfetl .
A foot short of the beast the speeding webbing lost all drive, fluttered in the still cave for a moment, then fell like a flaccid length of rope. On the floor it quickly contracted itself, worm-like, into a tight, small ball.
Thefetl licked its chops, the tongue swirling down and across and up and in again.
Before he could pull the trigger again, Claybourne felt the gun tremble in his hands. At the same moment he saw the beast"s flanks quiver again.
An instant later the gun ripped itself from his grasp and sent itself crashing into the wall. Parts spattered the cave floor as the seams split, and capsules tumbled out. The mola.s.ses-gun"s power compartment emitted a sharp, blue spark, and the machine was gone.
He was defenseless.
He heard the roar again.Telekinetic! After he had done what he wished, the animal would leave by the hole in the rear of the cave. Why bother untumbling the rocks!
Thefetl began moving again. Claybourne stumbled back, tripped on a jutting rock, fell heavily to the floor.The man backed away across the floor of the cave, the seat of his suit sc.r.a.ping the rock floor. His back flattened against the wedged rock in the cave mouth. He was backed as far as he could go.
He was screaming, the sound echoing back and forth in his hood, in the cave, in the night.
All he could see, all there was in the universe, was thefetl , advancing on him, slowly, slowly, taking all the time it needed. Savoring every instant.
Then abruptly, at the precise instant he gazed deep into that ring of hate-filled green eyes coming toward him, he realized that even as he had tracked thefetl , even as he had been tracking Garden - so thefetl had been tracking him!
Thefetl licked his lips again, slowly.
He had all the time in the world . . .
Hisworld.
JEFFTY IS FIVE.
This next story, and the one after that are very dear to me. I suppose because there is just a whole lot of me in each of them. They come out of my own life, the last one straight out of my first big run-in with the law (and we"ll get to that in due measure), and this one because it stars the me who was once five and has never really outgrown that age, in some very major ways. I"m not going to get all dopey and chickflick about it, but I have a soft spot in my heart for Jeffty (withtwo "f"s, kindly note) because he"s such a sweet kid, and he embodies all my memories of the books and radio programs and movies and comics I loved as a kid. The secret lesson in this story, however, is a different matter. When I wrote this story the ending seemed very clear to me, seemed so obvious I never figured anyone would be confusd by it. But d.a.m.ned if every college course that teaches this story wound up with the students and the prof arguing over what happens to Jeffty in the end. And if Itell you, if I explain it to you, well, that would be delivering the punchline before you hear the set-up. So, Ican"t tell you what life lesson for troublemakers lies in wait for you at the end of this sad and maybe-a-little-complex tale about how the Present always eats up the Past and leaves you adrift. You cannot know, at your age, what it is like to not be able to run that fast, jump that high, hit a note that pure, work all night and boogie all day (or boogie all night and work all day). At your age you can only see the surface of someone my age, and try not to think about what it must be like to see the night coming on faster than you"d care to think about. Look: this story says some troubling stuff about how fast our world moves, how unfairly it treats innocence, and about what people sometimes have to do in the name of kindness. I amaching to explain the ending of this story to you, but I"m trapped, like a magician who cannot reveal the trick. Just remember this, because you"re probably too young to know about one giveaway telltale clue. It used to be, up until circuit breakers in the electrical panels of modern homes, that when a short occurred, all the lights in the house would flicker and dim for a moment. When they strapped a guy into the electric chair of some penitentiary, and they threw the switch on him, and the juice went through him, the lights would flicker and dim all over the joint.
You can stick that in the back of your head and you"ll catch it when it comes up in the denouement. The other clue is this: pay attention to the palest creatures in this story, Jeffty"s mother and father, who are decent people. More than that, if I keep babbling, well, I"ll just be cheating you. And that I am forbidden by the Storyteller"s Creed to do.
When I was five years old, there was a little kid I played with: Jeffty. His real name was Jeff Kinzer, and everyone who played with him called him Jeffty. We were five years old together, and we had goodtimes playing together.
When I was five, a Clark Bar was as fat around as the gripping end of a Louisville Slugger, and pretty nearly six inches long, and they used real chocolate to coat it, and it crunched very nicely when you bit into the center, and the paper it came wrapped in smelled fresh and good when you peeled off one end to hold the bar so it wouldn"t melt onto your fingers. Today, a Clark Bar is as thin as a credit card, they use something artificial and awful-tasting instead of pure chocolate, the thing is soft and soggy, it costs fifteen or twenty cents instead of a decent, correct nickel, and they wrap it so you think it"s the same size it was twenty years ago, only it isn"t; it"s slim and ugly and nasty-tasting and not worth a penny, much less fifteen or twenty cents.
When I was that age, five years old, I was sent away to my Aunt Patricia"s home in Buffalo, New York, for two years. My father was going through "bad times" and Aunt Patricia was very beautiful, and had married a stockbroker. They took care of me for two years. When I was seven, I came back home and went to find Jeffty, so we could play together.
I was seven. Jeffty was still five. I didn"t notice any difference. I didn"t know: I was only seven.
When I was seven years old, I used to lie on my stomach in front of our At.w.a.ter-Kent radio and listen to swell stuff. I had tied the ground wire to the radiator, and I would lie there with my coloring books and my Crayolas (when there were only sixteen colors in the big box), and listen to the NBC Red network: Jack Benny on theJell-O Program, Amos "n" Andy , Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy on theChase and Sanborn Program, One Man"s Family, First Nighter; the NBC Blue network:Easy Aces, the Jergens Program with Walter Winch.e.l.l,Information Please, Death Valley Days; and best of all, the Mutual Network withThe Green Hornet, The Lone Ranger, The Shadow andQuiet, Please . Today, I turn on my car radio and go from one end of the dial to the other and all I get is 100 strings orchestras, ba.n.a.l housewives and insipid truckers discussing their kinky s.e.x lives with arrogant talk show hosts, country and western drivel and rock music so loud it hurts my ears.
When I was ten, my grandfather died of old age and I was "a troublesome kid," and they sent me off to military school, so I could be "taken in hand."
I came back when I was fourteen. Jeffty was still five.
When I was fourteen years old, I used to go to the movies on Sat.u.r.day afternoons and a matinee was ten cents and they used real b.u.t.ter on the popcorn and I could always be sure of seeing a western like Lash LaRue, or Wild Bill Elliott as Red Ryder with Bobby Blake as Little Beaver, or Roy Rogers, or Johnny Mack Brown; a scary picture likeHouse of Horrors with Rondo Hatton as the Strangler, orThe Cat People , orThe Mummy , orI Married a Witch with Fredric March and Veronica Lake; plus an episode of a great serial like The Shadow with Victor Jory, or d.i.c.k Tracy or Flash Gordon; and three cartoons; and James Fitzpatrick TravelTalk; Movietone News; and a singalong and, if I stayed on till evening, Bingo or Keeno; and free dishes. Today, I go to movies and see Clint Eastwood blowing people"s heads apart like ripe cantaloupes.
At eighteen, I went to college. Jeffty was still five. I came back during the summers, to work at my Uncle Joe"s jewelry store. Jeffty hadn"t changed. Now I knew there was something different about him, something wrong, something weird. Jeffty was still five years old, not a day older.
At twenty-two, I came home for keeps. To open a Sony television franchise in town, the first one. I saw Jeffty from time to time. He was five.
Things are better in a lot of ways. People don"t die from some of the old diseases any more. Cars go faster and get you there more quickly on better roads. Shirts are softer and silkier. We have paperbackbooks, even though they cost as much as a good hardcover used to. When I"m running short in the bank, I can live off credit cards till things even out. But I still think we"ve lost a lot of good stuff. Did you know you can"t buy linoleum any more, only vinyl floor covering? There"s no such thing as oilcloth any more; you"ll never again smell that special, sweet smell from your grandmother"s kitchen. Furniture isn"t made to last thirty years or longer because they took a survey and found that young homemakers like to throw their furniture out and bring in all new, color-coded borax every seven years. Records don"t feel right; they"re not thick and solid like the old ones, they"re thin and you can bend them . . . that doesn"t seem right to me. Restaurants don"t serve cream in pitchers any more, just that artificial glop in little plastic tubs, and one is never enough to get coffee the right color. You can make a dent in a car fender with only a sneaker. Everywhere you go, all the towns look the same with Burger Kings and McDonald"s and 7-Elevens and Taco Bells and motels and shopping centers. Things may be better, but why do I keep thinking about the past?
What I mean by five years old is not that Jeffty was r.e.t.a.r.ded. I don"t think that"s what it was. Smart as a whip for five years old; very bright, quick, cute, a funny kid.
But he was three feet tall, small for his age, and perfectly formed: no big head, no strange jaw, none of that. A nice, normal-looking five-year-old kid. Except that he was the same age as I was: twenty-two.
When he spoke, it was with the squeaking, soprano voice of a five-year-old; when he walked, it was with the little hops and shuffles of a five-year-old; when he talked to you, it was about the concerns of a five-year-old . . . comic books, playing soldier, using a clothes pin to attach a stiff piece of cardboard to the front fork of his bike so the sound it made when the spokes. .h.i.t was like a motorboat, asking questions likewhy does that thing do that like that , how high is up, how old is old, why is gra.s.s green, what"s an elephant look like? At twenty-two, he was five.
Jeffty"s parents were a sad pair. Because I was still a friend of Jeffty"s, still let him hang around with me in the store, sometimes took him to the county fair or to the miniature golf or the movies, I wound up spending time withthem . Not that I much cared for them, because they were so awfully depressing. But then, I suppose one couldn"t expect much more from the poor devils. They had an alien thing in their home, a child who had grown no older than five in twenty-two years, who provided the treasure of that special childlike state indefinitely, but who also denied them the joys of watching the child grow into a normal adult.
Five is a wonderful time of life for a little kid . . . or itcan be, if the child is relatively free of the monstrous beastliness other children indulge in. It is a time when the eyes are wide open and the patterns are not yet set; a time when one has not yet been hammered into accepting everything as immutable and hopeless; a time when the hands cannot do enough, the mind cannot learn enough, the world is infinite and colorful and filled with mysteries. Five is a special time before they take the questing, unquenchable, quixotic soul of the young dreamer and thrust it into dreary schoolroom boxes. A time before they take the trembling hands that want to hold everything, touch everything, figure everything out, and make them lie still on desktops. A time before people begin saying "act your age" and "grow up" or "you"re behaving like a baby." It is a time when a child who acts adolescent is still cute and responsive and everyone"s pet. A time of delight, of wonder, of innocence.
Jeffty had been stuck in that time, just five, just so.
But for his parents it was an ongoing nightmare from which no one - not social workers, not priests, not child psychologists, not teachers, not friends, not medical wizards, not psychiatrists, no one - could slap or shake them awake. For seventeen years their sorrow had grown through stages of parental dotage to concern, from concern to worry, from worry to fear, from fear to confusion, from confusion to anger, from anger to dislike, from dislike to naked hatred, and finally, from deepest loathing and revulsion to astolid, depressive acceptance.
John Kinzer was a shift foreman at the Balder Tool Die plant. He was a thirty-year man. To everyone but the man living it, his was a spectacularly uneventful life. In no way was he remarkable . . . save that he had fathered a twenty-two-year-old five-year-old.
John Kinzer was a small man; soft, with no sharp angles; with pale eyes that never seemed to hold mine for longer than a few seconds. He continually shifted in his chair during conversations, and seemed to see things in the upper corners of the room, things no one else could see . . . or wanted to see. I suppose the word that best suited him washaunted . What his life had become . . . well,haunted suited him.
Leona Kinzer tried valiantly to compensate. No matter what hour of the day I visited, she always tried to foist food on me. And when Jeffty was in the house she was always athim about eating: "Honey, would you like an orange? A nice orange? Or a tangerine? I have tangerines. I could peel a tangerine for you."
But there was clearly such fear in her, fear of her own child, that the offers of sustenance always had a faintly ominous tone.
Leona Kinzer had been a tall woman, but the years had bent her. She seemed always to be seeking some area of wallpapered wall or storage niche into which she could fade, adopt some chintz or rose-patterned protective coloration and hide forever in plain sight of the child"s big brown eyes, pa.s.s her a hundred times a day and never realize she was there, holding her breath, invisible. She always had an ap.r.o.n tied around her waist, and her hands were red from cleaning. As if by maintaining the environment immaculately she could pay off her imagined sin: having given birth to this strange creature.
Neither of them watched television very much. The house was usually dead silent, not even the sibilant whispering of water in the pipes, the creaking of timbers settling, the humming of the refrigerator. Awfully silent, as if time itself had taken a detour around that house.
As for Jeffty, he was inoffensive. He lived in that atmosphere of gentle dread and dulled loathing, and if he understood it, he never remarked in any way. He played, as a child plays, and seemed happy. But he must have sensed, in the way of a five-year-old, just how alien he was in their presence.
Alien. No, that wasn"t right. He wastoo human, if anything. But out of phase, out of synch with the world around him, and resonating to a different vibration than his parents, G.o.d knows. Nor would other children play with him. As they grew past him, they found him at first childish, then uninteresting, then simply frightening as their perceptions of aging became clear and they could see he was not affected by time as they were. Even the little ones, his own age, who might wander into the neighborhood, quickly came to shy away from him like a dog in the street when a car backfires.
Thus, I remained his only friend. A friend of many years. Five years. Twenty-two years. I liked him; more than I can say. And never knew exactly why. But I did, without reserve.
But because we spent time together, I found I was also - polite society - spending time with John and Leona Kinzer. Dinner, Sat.u.r.day afternoons sometimes, an hour or so when I"d bring Jeffty back from a movie. They were grateful: slavishly so. It relieved them of the embarra.s.sing ch.o.r.e of going out with him, or having to pretend before the world that they were loving parents with a perfectly normal, happy, attractive child. And their grat.i.tude extended to hosting me. Hideous, every moment of their depression, hideous.
I felt sorry for the poor devils, but I despised them for their inability to love Jeffty, who was eminently lovable.
I never let on, of course, even during the evenings in their company that were awkward beyond belief.We would sit there in the darkening living room -always dark or darkening, as if kept in shadow to hold back what the light might reveal to the world outside through the bright eyes of the house - we would sit and silently stare at one another. They never knew what to say to me.
"So how are things down at the plant?" I"d say to John Kinzer.
He would shrug. Neither conversation nor life suited him with any ease or grace. "Fine, just fine," he would say, finally.
And we would sit in silence again.
"Would you like a nice piece of coffee cake?" Leona would say. "I made it fresh just this morning." Or deep dish green apple pie. Or milk and tollhouse cookies. Or a brown betty pudding.
"No, no, thank you, Mrs. Kinzer; Jeffty and I grabbed a couple of cheeseburgers on the way home."
And again, silence.
Then, when the stillness and the awkwardness became too much even for them (and who knew how long that total silence reigned when they were alone, with that thing they never talked about any more, hanging between them), Leona Kinzer would say, "I think he"s asleep."
John Kinzer would say, "I don"t hear the radio playing."
Just so, it would go on like that, until I could politely find excuse to bolt away on some flimsy pretext.
Yes, that was the way it would go on, every time, just the same . . . except once.
"I don"t know what to do any more," Leona said. She began crying. "There"s no change, not one day of peace."
Her husband managed to drag himself out of the old easy chair and go to her. He bent and tried to soothe her, but it was clear from the graceless way in which he touched her graying hair that the ability to be compa.s.sionate had been stunned in him. "Shhh, Leona, it"s all right. Shhh." But she continued crying.
Her hands sc.r.a.ped gently at the antimaca.s.sars on the arms of the chair.
Then she said, "Sometimes I wish he had been stillborn."
John looked up into the corners of the room. For the nameless shadows that were always watching him?
Was it G.o.d he was seeking in those s.p.a.ces? "You don"t mean that," he said to her, softly, pathetically, urging her with body tension and trembling in his voice to recant before G.o.d took notice of the terrible thought. But she meant it; she meant it very much.
I managed to get away quickly that evening. They didn"t want witnesses to their shame. I was glad to go.
And for a week I stayed away. From them, from Jeffty, from their street, even from that end of town.
I had my own life. The store, accounts, suppliers" conferences, poker with friends, pretty women I took to well-lit restaurants, my own parents, putting anti-freeze in the car, complaining to the laundry about too much starch in the collars and cuffs, working out at the gym, taxes, catching Jan or David (whichever one it was) stealing from the cash register. I had my own life.
But not eventhat evening could keep me from Jeffty. He called me at the store and asked me to take him to the rodeo. We chummed it up as best a twenty-two-year-old with other interestscould . . . with a five-year-old. I never dwelled on what bound us together; I always thought it was simply the years. That, and affection for a kid who could have been the little brother I never had. (Except Iremembered whenwe had played together, when we had both been the same age; Iremembered that period, and Jeffty was still the same.) And then, one Sat.u.r.day afternoon, I came to take him to a double feature, and things I should have noticed so many times before, I first began to notice only that afternoon.
I came walking up to the Kinzer house, expecting Jeffty to be sitting on the front porch steps, or in the porch glider, waiting for me. But he was nowhere in sight.
Going inside, into that darkness and silence, in the midst of May sunshine, was unthinkable. I stood on the front walk for a few moments, then cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled, "Jeffty? Hey, Jeffty, come on out, let"s go. We"ll be late."
His voice came faintly, as if from under the ground.
"Here I am, Donny."
I could hear him, but I couldn"t see him. It was Jeffty, no question about it: as Donald H. Horton, President and Sole Owner of The Horton TV Sound Center, no one but Jeffty called me Donny. He had never called me anything else.
(Actually, it isn"t a lie. Iam , as far as the public is concerned, Sole Owner of the Center. The partnership with my Aunt Patricia is only to repay the loan she made me, to supplement the money I came into when I was twenty-one, left to me when I was ten by my grandfather. It wasn"t a very big loan, only eighteen thousand, but I asked her to be a silent partner, because of when she had taken care of me as a child.) "Where are you, Jeffty?"
"Under the porch in my secret place."
I walked around the side of the porch, and stooped down and pulled away the wicker grating. Back in there, on the pressed dirt, Jeffty had built himself a secret place. He had comics in orange crates, he had a little table and some pillows, it was lit by big fat candles, and we used to hide there when we were both . . . five.
"What"cha up to?" I asked, crawling in and pulling the grate closed behind me. It was cool under the porch, and the dirt smelled comfortable, the candles smelled clubby and familiar. Any kid would feel at home in such a secret place: there"s never been a kid who didn"t spend the happiest, most productive, most deliciously mysterious times of his life in such a secret place.
"Playin"," he said. He was holding something golden and round. It filled the palm of his little hand.
"You forget we were going to the movies?"
"Nope. I was just waitin" for you here."
"Your mom and dad home?"
"Momma."
I understood why he was waiting under the porch. I didn"t push it any further. "What"ve you got there?"
"Captain Midnight Secret Decoder Badge," he said, showing it to me on his flattened palm.
I realized I was looking at it without comprehending what it was for a long time. Then it dawned on mewhat a miracle Jeffty had in his hand. A miracle that simply couldnot exist.
"Jeffty," I said softly, with wonder in my voice, "where"d you get that?"
"Came in the mail today. I sent away for it."
"It must have cost a lot of money."
"Not so much. Ten cents an" two inner wax seals from two jars of Ovaltine."
"May I see it?" My voice was trembling, and so was the hand I extended. He gave it to me and I held the miracle in the palm of my hand. It waswonderful .
You remember.Captain Midnight went on the radio nationwide in 1940. It was sponsored by Ovaltine.
And every year they issued a Secret Squadron Decoder Badge. And every day at the end of the program, they would give you a clue to the next day"s installment in a code that only kids with the official badge could decipher. They stopped making those wonderful Decoder Badges in 1949. I remember the one I had in 1945: it was beautiful. It had a magnifying gla.s.s in the center of the code dial.Captain Midnight went off the air in 1950, and though I understand it was a short-lived television series in the mid-Fifties, and though they issued Decoder Badges in 1955 and 1956, as far as thereal badges were concerned, they never made one after 1949.