Somehow Tilda divined that Mr. and Mrs. Mortimer were in high spirits this morning, and it was with reasonable confidence that, after they had moored below locks and breakfasted, she sought Sam--who had withdrawn to the bows with his account book--and inquired how the performance had gone off.
"There was a small misunderstandin" at the close," he answered, looking up and pausing to moisten the lead of his pencil, "owin" to what the bills said about carriages at ten-thirty. Which the people at Tizzer"s Green took it that carriages was to be part of the show, an" everyone to be taken "ome like a lord. There was a man in the gallery, which is otherwise back seats at threppence, got up an" said he"d a-come on that contrack, an" no other. Mortimer made "im a speech, and when that wouldn" do I copped "im on the back o" the neck."
"An" after that, I s"pose, there was a free fight?"
"No," said Sam; "you "d be surprised how quiet "e took it. "E was unconscious."
She eyed him thoughtfully.
"It don"t seem like you, neither," she said, "to strike a man so "ard, first blow."
"You"re right, there; it _ain"t_ like me, an" I felt sorry for the fella". But I "ad to relieve my feelin"s."
"What was the matter with yer feelin"s?"
""Arrowed--fairly "arrowed." Sam shot an uneasy glance aft towards the cabin top where Mr. and Mrs. Mortimer sat amicably side by side, he conning a part while she mended a broken string on her guitar. Beyond them, stretched on the after deck with "Dolph for company, Arthur Miles leaned over the gunwale, apparently studying the boat"s reflection in the water. "Between you an" me," Sam confessed, "I can"t get no grip on play-actors; an" I"m sorry I ever took up with "em." He consulted his accounts. "He cleared three pound twelve an" nine las" night--but "ow?
That Mortimer carried on something "ateful. There was "is wife--you wouldn" think it in ordinary life, but, dressed up, she goes to your "eart; an" she wore, first an" last, more dresses than you could count.
First of all she "it a little tambourine, an" said she was a gipsy maid.
"I"m a narch little gipsy," she said, "an" I never gets tipsy"--"
"Why _should_ she?"
""But I laugh an" play," she said, "the whole o" the day, such a nartless life is mine, ha, ha!" which wasn" none of it true, except about the drink, but you could see she only done it to make "erself pleasant. An" then she told us ow" when they rang a bell somebody was goin" to put Mortimer to death, an" "ow she stopped that by climbin" up to the bell and "angin" on to the clapper. Then in came Mortimer an"
sang a song with "er--as well "e might--about "is true love "avin" "is "eart an" "is "avin" "ers, an" everyone clappin" an" stampin" an"
ancorein" in the best of tempers. Well, an" what does the man do after an interval o" five minutes, but dress hisself up in black an" call "er names for "avin" married his uncle? This was too much for the back seats, an" some o" them told "im to go "ome an" boil "is "ead. But it "ad no effect; for he only got worse, till he ended up by blackin" "is face an" smotherin" "er with a pillow for something quite different.
After that he got better, an" they ended up by playin" a thing that made everybody laugh. I didn" "ear it, but took a walk outside to blow off steam, an" only came back just as the fuss began about the carriages.
Fact is, missy, I can"t abear to see a woman used abuseful."
"That"s because you "re in love," said Tilda. "But, if you"ll listen to me, women ain"t always what you take "em for."
"Ain"t they?" he queried. "I"d be sorry to believe that; though "twould be "elpful, I don"t mind tellin" you."
"I"ve known cases--that is, if you _want_ to be cured--"
"I do, an" I don"t," he groaned. But it was clear that in the main he did not; for he changed the subject hastily. "See "ere, would you mind takin" "old o" the book an" checkin" while I counts out the money.
Total takin"s--four, three, three--less "ire of "all, four-an"-six--"
"I can read figures an" print," owned Tilda, "but "andwriting"s too much for me; an" yours, I dare say, isn" none o" the best."
"I"ve improved it a lot at the night school. But what is it puzzlin"
you?" he asked, looking up as he counted.
She held out the book, but not as he had handed it. The light breeze had blown over two or three of its leaves, covering the page of accounts.
"Oh, _that?_" he stammered, and a blush spread to his ears. "I didn"
mean you to see--"
"What is it?"
"Well--it"s potery, if you must know. Leastways it"s meant to be potery. I make it sometimes."
"Why?"
"To relieve my feelin"s."
""Pears to me your feelin"s want a deal o" relievin", one way an"
another. Read me some."
"You"re sure you won"t laugh?"
"Bless the man! "Ow can I tell till I"ve "eard it? Is it meant to be funny?"
"No."
"Well, then, I"m not likely to laugh. It don"t come easy to me, any"ow: I seen too many clowns."
She handed him the book. He chose a poem, conquered his diffidence, and began--
"Stratford-on-Avon, Stratford-on-Avon-- My heart is full of woe: Formerly, once upon a time It was not ever so."
"The love that then I faltered I now am forced to stifle; For the case is completely altered And I wish I had a rifle."
"I wish I was wrecked Like Robinson Crusoe, But you cannot expect A ca.n.a.l-boat to do so."
"Perhaps I ought to explain, though?" he suggested, breaking off.
"If you don"t mind."
"You see I got a brother--a nelder brother, an" by name "Enery; an" last year he went for a miner in South Africa, at a place that I can"t neither spell nor p.r.o.nounce till it winds up with "bosh." So we"ll call it Bosh."
"Right-o! But why did he go for that miner? To relieve "is feelin"s?"
"You don"t understand. He went out _as_ a miner, havin" been a pit-hand at the Blackstone Colliery, north o" Bursfield. Well, one week-end-- about a month before he started--he took a noliday an" went a trip with me to Stratford aboard this very boat. Which for six months past I"d "ad a neye upon a girl in Stratford. She was a General--"
"Salvation Army?"
"--A Cook-general, in a very respectable "ouse"old--a publican"s, at the "Four Alls" by Binton Bridges. Me bein" shy--as you may "ave noticed-- I "adn"t, as you might say, put it to "er; an" likewise until the matter was settled I didn" like to tell "Enery. But I interjuced "im--the same bein" "er Sunday out; an" afterwards, when he called "er a monstrous fine girl, I felt as "appy as if he"d given me ten shillin". Which only proves," Sam commented bitterly, "what I say in the next verse--"
"I"d rather be in prison Than in this earthly dwellin", Where nothin" is but it isn"-- An there ain"t no means of tellin"!"
"--Which when, the night before he started, he comes to me an" says that he an" Mary "ave made a match of it, an" would I mind keepin" an eye on "er an" writin" regilar to say "ow she was gettin" on, it fair knocked me out."
"You never told "im?"
"I didn" like to. To start with "e was always my fav"rite brother, an"
I couldn" bear his startin" in low sperits an" South Africa such a distance off; beside which, I told mysel", the girl must surely know "er own mind. So now you know," concluded Sam, "what I means by the nex"
verse--"
"Stratford-on-Avon, Stratford-on-Avon-- My true love she is false; I "d rather not go to Stratford-on-Avon If I could go anywheres else."