Under the twinkling stars and washed-out hue of twilight, Liu Sumeng left the two to their own devices while he went to gather firewood. He traveled a lot with Yuan Xuelan in his past life, though most of the time it had been on quests for violence and vengeance."What do you plan on doing, after this?" The Yuan Xuelan of this memory was not the emperor yet, but the light in his eyes was dim and darkness heavy on his face and his hands were already stained with the blood of thousands. He had wandered off in the middle of the night and Liu Sumeng went to drag him back before anyone noticed.
"After?" Liu Sumeng asked, because he didn"t know that Yuan Xuelan was capable of thinking of an "after" at the time.
Yuan Xuelan smiled at him, understanding what he intended to say, "Not me, stupid. I"m asking about you."
Ah…of course Yuan Xuelan wasn"t going to stop. There was a time when Liu Sumeng had vowed he wouldn"t either, and that he would trample forth with sword and blood. Why did that feel like such a long time ago?
The rage had long calmed into a lukewarm hatred and deep-set disappointment. Liu Sumeng was tired of the bloodshed, but how could he admit that? To this Yuan Xuelan he said, "Be your general."
Yuan Xuelan looked at him with a tilted head, his smile was mocking, "Are you deaf, idiot. I was asking about after!"
"..." There will be no after. Even then, Liu Sumeng seemed to understand that fact, so he just said, "Come back. It"s late."
"...I don"t want to." Yuan Xuelan said childishly, head hanging as he gazed at the ground with a dark expression. "I feel restless. Like…like f.u.c.king…f.u.c.king ants crawling under my skin. I can"t sleep. I can barely breathe." His breath became ragged, teeth grit with those words.
Liu Sumeng"s heart hurt. He wanted to comfort him but he didn"t even know where to begin so he did the only thing he knew and pulled Yuan Xuelan into a hug and felt the other man tremble in his arms.
Ah, Yuan Xuelan was taller than him then… so it was even more awkward. He could only rest his face against the junction between Yuan Xuelan"s neck and shoulder. But Liu Sumeng didn"t let go, and only waited to be pushed away. He didn"t expect Yuan Xuelan to wrap his arms around his back and waist, his head falling on Liu Sumeng"s shoulder.
"..."
They stayed like that for a while, listening to the rustling of leaves and singing crickets and frogs. Yuan Xuelan sighed heavily, his breath against Liu Sumeng"s neck, "Sumeng, why don"t you comfort me tonight? Help pitiful me sleep."
Liu Sumeng finally stepped away, his expression as stoic as ever, "I"ll call some prost.i.tutes for you."
"Ah… I was just joking," he laughed.
In the end, Liu Sumeng really did call prost.i.tutes over, much to Yuan Xuelan"s annoyance.
In the present (or perhaps the past?) Liu Sumeng looked and gazed upon the unchanging constellations trying to recall if that night beheld the same clear sky like the one before him. But his memories weren"t clear, so he had no choice but to give up the thought.
When Liu Sumeng came back to their resting spot, Chen Anyue smiled and waved him over, while Yuan Xuelan was giving him another unfriendly scowl.
He tried to cleanse his mind of the memory but when he saw Yuan Xuelan, who was only sixteen in front of him, his thoughts began to wander again.
If he were to pull this smaller Yuan Xuelan into his arms then...
Liu Sumeng shook his head, feeling a little embarra.s.sed.
"Second Young Master Liu…?"
"...?" It took a moment for him to react and look to his side, staring blankly into Chen Anyue"s face.
"Are you ok?" she asked, voice genuinely concerned. Somehow he couldn"t help but feel that Chen Anyue was being nicer to him in this life than the last. He wondered why. He hadn"t been that different compared to before…had he?
His answer sounded clipped, "I"m fine."
She sat close to him, which incited a sharp glare from Yuan Xuelan who was on the other side of their campfire. "Why don"t you have a drink?"
After a moment he took the water gourd from her hand and took a sip before handing it back. "Thank you."
They sat in silence like that a while before Chen Anyue said in a soft tone, "I want to thank Second Young Master Liu for your kindness… But I just wanted to tell you, ah, please don"t hold back on my behalf. I"m a capable cultivator too…"
That was true but… Liu Sumeng held back a sigh, "I know."
She seemed to smile at that, "Thank you."
Chen Anyue was the first to go to sleep, and then Yuan Xuelan. Liu Sumeng kept watch, even though the barrier they set up should be more than enough to keep them all safe. For some reason, he wasn"t feeling tired, and it wasn"t like he didn"t stay up for days on end before.
In the dead of night, when all was dark aside from a low flickering flame and the moon"s bright s.h.i.+ne, Yuan Xuelan stirred from his sleep.
"Just go to sleep," he groaned as he rubbed his eyes, squinting at Liu Sumeng"s sitting form. "If something breaks the barrier, we"ll be woken up."
"...I"m not tired."
Yuan Xuelan snorted and rolled over, "Fine. Suit yourself."
And then there was silence again, Liu Sumeng had almost suspected that Yuan Xuelan went back to sleep before he spoke up, "Just because you"re being a little nice to s.h.i.+jie, don"t think I"ll accept you this easily, d.a.m.n pervert."
"...I"m not." He especially didn"t want to hear that kind of accusation from Yuan Xuelan of all people.
He heard Yuan Xuelan sneer, "Sure just keep telling yourself that."
"..."
Again it was quiet. When Liu Sumeng looked up and was about to count the stars, his peace was once again interrupted, "Seriously! It"s creepy if you just stay awake like that, f.u.c.k I can"t stand having someone like you watch s.h.i.+jie and I sleep." This time, Yuan Xuelan shot up from the spot to glare at him. Chen Anyue frowned in her sleep and turned over from the sound.
"...You"re being loud."
While it was difficult to see Yuan Xuelan"s glower in the dark, Liu Sumeng could feel it, "Don"t think you can keep hiding that nasty personality of yours, Ivory Sword Saint. I"ll protect s.h.i.+jie from the likes of you."
"..." Well, Yuan Xuelan always did have an issue with Liu Sumeng"s personality. Not even a lifetime seemed to be able to fix that.
Yuan Xuelan was now sitting as well, refusing to return to sleep for as long as Liu Sumeng sat there.
Should he feel annoyed, or should he be worried? Liu Sumeng wasn"t sure but he did feel a little unsettled with Yuan Xuelan staying up for with him. Or maybe he just felt a little bad? "Go to sleep."
"Then you go to sleep first."
"...You"re being ridiculous."
"What! What do you understand!?"
"What…are you doing…?" Chen Anyue rubbed her eyes and looked up at the two men with a frown.
"s.h.i.+jie!" Yuan Xuelan exclaimed, "Nothing, it"s just this guy was…! Anyways just go back to sleep. Don"t worry about it."
Chen Anyue sighed, "Of course I"m going to worry about it. Is something the matter? Did something happen?"
"...No, nothing," Liu Sumeng said.
"Ok…then why don"t we all get some rest?" With Chen Anyue"s plead all three of them lied down on the ground.
Liu Sumeng looked at the two and sighed, but in the end, he really did end up falling asleep.