Liu Sumeng opened his mouth on instinct, "I"m sor--""Shh," Yuan Xuelan just shushed him, "Don"t say that." His face scrunched up in distaste. "Won"t you come sit next to me? Please?"
With a slight nod, he did just that, pulling out a stool next to Xuelan"s bedside. Liu Sumeng hated how awkward it felt.
"Xuelan--"
"Do you regret what happened back at the Wayward Wind Temple?"
Those dark eyes refused to look away, even when Liu Sumeng jolted from the strange anxiety that built up within.
Such a question! Annoyance welled up thickly, "Of course-"
But Xuelan quickly reached for his hands and held them within his, "I don"t."
"..." An unnamed pressure welled around Liu Sumeng"s heart. For the past several months he was haunted day and night by the events at the temple! Even now he shuddered at the memory. The terrible stain on red. Warmth that escaped his hands and Xuelan"s icy blue lips.
Did Yuan Xuelan think that was okay!? Did he think that death was a valid option then? Liu Sumeng couldn"t accept that.
"Never again," the Ivory Sword Saint"s words were sharp and scolding.
"But," Yuan Xuelan"s face faltered for a moment before he put on another mask of bravery, "I want to be able to protect you too. I"m just happy you"re not hurt. Really, I don"t regret a thing."
"You almost died."
"Yes, but--"
Liu Sumeng drew his hands back. His lips pressed tightly together in discontent, "Maybe you are satisfied. I am not."
Yuan Xuelan"s shoulders drew slightly up, his brows upturned and he looked like a very adorable scolded puppy. Liu Sumeng forced himself to look away.
"But Sumeng. You"re always getting hurt for me. It"s only fair this way…"
Liu Sumeng didn"t have the time to come up with a retort. The door slid open and Chen Anyue slipped back inside with a full set of tea. "Pardon my intrusion. I hope I"m not interrupting anything important between you men." Her voice was soft, sweet, and faultless.
Though Yuan Xuelan"s lips were pulled into a frown, Liu Sumeng counted his blessings. He stood up from his seat and said, "I will take my leave."
The other two were visibly taken aback by his sudden declaration.
"I"m sorry! I didn"t mean to upset you," Yuan Xuelan apologized, unconcerned that Chen Anyue was present.
Chen Anyue was a lot calmer with her approach and spoke softly, "Are you sure, Liu-ge? Why don"t you have some tea with us."
He shook his head and kept his words brief, "I still have some things to do. I will go."
And he stormed out of the room, ignoring Chen Anyue"s voice behind him, "Zhang! What did you say to upset him? How come this is the first thing that happens when you wake up?"
But Liu Sumeng didn"t want to address the bright frustration and tumultuous emotions that swirled in his heart. Ah, he hated this.
Was it wrong to be happy that Xuelan cared deeply enough about him to ready trade his life for Liu Sumeng"s?
Was it wrong to be angry that Xuelan would so readily risk his life for someone as foolish as himself?
And, was it wrong to be frustrated at the blaring understanding that he was being a hypocrite? Because Liu Sumeng knew that he himself would readily give up his own wellbeing for Xuelan without a bat of an eye.
A flush traveled up his face, the throb in his heart quickened and his pulse became deafening. Liu Sumeng escaped to the small study that Chen Gaoyong allowed him and ignored the searing guilt of running away.
He hated himself for not staying with Xuelan longer after he finally woke up. But Liu Sumeng found himself choked, frozen, and tense. It was better to have Chen Anyue"s calm soothing presence at one"s side. For her aura was one of healing and he…
Liu Sumeng didn"t even know what he was good for.
So he retreated into his temporary office and pulled out parchment, ink, and brush. He still had plans to make and letters to write.
It was much easier to get to work than to deal with the swell of his own emotions and the warmth of Yuan Xuelan"s hands against his own.
Liu Sumeng worked into the night and forgot to rest even as dawn slipped over the horizon, painting purple and orange hues through the window.
When Chen Anyue came to bring him breakfast, she frowned at the dark circles that made themselves home beneath the Ivory Sword Saint"s eyes. She asked if he"d slept but he dismissed her quickly.
"Liu-ge," Chen Anyue sighed, "Please remember that it"s okay to rely on others. That is what we must do during these tough times."
Liu Sumeng reluctantly put down his brush and smiled at her, "You are right."
She beamed at his words, "If you need anything, then I will gladly a.s.sist you in any way that I could."
But she had already been doing much to help him. "I am already relying on you heavily," he sighed.
A dainty hand reached over and patted his thigh. "There"s been much on your mind. Please leave Zhang to me."
He tensed under her touch and nodded.
A strange part of him did not want to agree. But he also reasoned that it was for the better.
It was for the better.
His thoughts were suspended, even as Chen Anyue left. The letter he was writing no longer made any sense to him. Liu Sumeng sighed and pushed it aside. Maybe it was finally time to get some rest. But it felt improper now that day had broken. He should simply sleep at a more normal time tonight.
The office he was given was big under his standards, with east-facing windows that allowed morning to trickle in. Over the past weeks, he had made this place home.
The s.p.a.ce between his brows throbbed, the lights penetrated his skull. Even his chest felt heavy from exhaustion. His mind absently thought about Yuan Xuelan…
Xuelan should be awake now. How was he doing? Was Anyue taking care of him? Should he maybe have asked her when she came?
The sliding of the door snapped him out of his concentration.
He snapped up and almost jolted out of his seated position. Liu Sumeng saw the object of his thoughts standing at the doorway.
Yuan Xuelan was already looking much better than night time. He was dressed in his Ascending Dawn colors and his messy hair pinned up in a neat fas.h.i.+on that told Liu Sumeng he hadn"t done it himself.
"You," his voice was haughty, chin pointed upward. A red-golden sparkle twinkled in his eyes, "have been ignoring honorable me. What made you think you had such rights to mess with my wavering heart!"
"..."
What? The words were too strange. For a moment, Liu Sumeng wondered if this was some sort of lapse in personality, or somehow it was Emperor Taixu standing in front of him instead.
But no, the words were slightly off, even for the arrogant emperor. A little too playful, too whimsical and light.
This strange Yuan Xuelan readily let himself into the Ivory Sword Saint"s study, closing the door behind him and came over with a bounce in his steps.
Liu Sumeng tensed in his chair when Xuelan walked behind him and snaked his arms around his shoulders, pressing his chest against the Ivory Sword Saint"s back to lean over his desk.
Was this some sort of prank? Was someone using an illusion spell to alter their appearance? But no. There was no no trace of a spell and Liu Sumeng could tell this was indeed Yuan Xuelan by his scent.
"Ah, it appears that you are lacking in rest, my dear Sumeng. Were you busy thinking about honorable me?"
But wasn"t this way of speaking familiar as well? A breath tickled his cheek and Liu Sumeng"s gaze veered to the side, catching a small dancing flame that twinkled in each of Xuelan"s pupils.
He had seen that before!
A deep sigh of relief escaped him as annoyance bubbled. He pushed this Yuan Xuelan away. Only he knew that this wasn"t Yuan Xuelan at all. At least, it wasn"t Yuan Xuelan who was in control of his body.
"Huo Tang."
"Oh my," a sultry chuckle left Xuelan"s lips. Spoken with Xuelan"s voice it sent a s.h.i.+ver down Liu Sumeng"s spine. He tried to remind himself this was that phoenix! "It appears that this divine one was recognized very quickly! Perhaps I was the one on your mind instead? Did you miss me?"
Huo Tang, who was in control of Yuan Xuelan"s body made herself at home and sat on the edge of Liu Sumeng"s desk and shamelessly pried at the letter he was in the middle of writing.
Huo Tang had merged their life"s essence in order to save Yuan Xuelan"s life. In the vacant s.p.a.ce of Yuan Xuelan"s missing organs, divine fire kept him alive.
It was not ideal, nor a lasting solution. But Liu Sumeng really owed a lot to this bird, and vowed to find a way to repay her while searching for a more permanent solution for Yuan Xuelan.
"Are you well?"
Yuan Xuelan"s face was bright with a playful smile, "Well? I am not only weakened to such a pathetic degree but now I have lost freedom of my own body and must reside as a furnace within this rude-boy"s body. Tell me, Ivory Sword Saint, am I well?"
But Liu Sumeng got a good look at the boy"s face and said, "You"re having fun."
She hummed with a chuckle but didn"t disagree with him, "I see that things have escalated quite dangerously around these parts, just as you"ve expected."
Liu Sumeng sighed. In his past life, Hui Ziw.a.n.g and Yang Sehan actually did not get the chance to proceed nearly as far with their plans. This as well was unchartered territory for him.
"We need to take precautions."
"Never would I have imagined that little kit to go as far as this with the Forbidden Treasure. I wonder who gave him such a nefarious idea? Hui Ziw.a.n.g"s mother was a very pleasant woman who liked fun but didn"t like trouble."
Liu Sumeng listened closely and remembered that Huo Tang was a being that had lived centuries.
"What is the purpose of gathering all three Forbidden Treasures?" He couldn"t help but ask.
While the gathering of the treasures might simply be a tactic to completely overpower any opposition, Liu Sumeng had a feeling that this was not the real reason for such a goal.
Huo Tang quirked an eyebrow and said, "Did you not know? The Three Forbidden Treasures were originally created with the purpose of parting the Heavens."