More tears burned behind her eyes. Maggie straightened her spine and drew in deep breaths. Regrets and alternative scenarios might fill her mind but that didn"t mean she had to let them drag her into a deep pit of depression. It was her life and that meant it would be whatever she chose to make of it.
The phone rang after she started to pack, and her body froze. What if...
Nope. Don"t even go there. Tucker wasn"t going to magically call and tell her everything had been a huge mistake. It"d be a cold day in h.e.l.l before she heard from him again.
By the third call in an hour she"d grown irritable and ready to take down the caller in a single phrase. Actually, she had several phrases in mind for the a.s.shole on the other end. She stomped to her desk and grabbed the phone. "What?" she demanded.
"Is this Ms. Cisco? Maggie Cisco."
Her heart sank. For a second she"d still thought... maybe. "No comment," she blurted, a.s.suming yet another reporter had found her.
"Pardon me?" The voice on the other end sounded very confused.
"Look, I know you"re probably just doing your job but I"m in no mood for reporters today. This is a private number and I don"t appreciate you calling it." As much as they deserved her wrath, the good manners bred in her still made it painful to be rude.
"Uhm. I"m not a reporter. My name is Carolyn Kellog and I"m calling on behalf of the University of Boston."
Maggie abruptly plopped into a nearby chair. "Seriously?"
The woman chuckled over the line. "Yes, seriously. We have a proposal for you. Would you have time to meet with us?"
Her head spun. "I don"t understand. What is this about?" she held her breath, afraid to conjure any ideas in her mind.
"We have a job we"d like you to consider. But we"d rather discuss it in person. If you"re free we"d like to fly you in to meet with us."
Her breath left her body in a whoosh. A job? She hadn"t considered going back to teaching even a possibility. Nor was she sure she wanted to. Not that she had a lot of choices at the moment. She"d yet to come up with a single idea of where she"d go. With no family to flee to and no friends not tied into her old life, she"d have to go somewhere new. Maybe...
"When would you like me to come?"
"Are you available tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow sounds perfect." After listening to the travel details that would be emailed to her, Maggie hung up and surveyed the room. Packing the cabin could wait. She had a plane to catch.
Forty-eight hours later Maggie walked into Nina"s cafe at the edge of the lake. Since she hadn"t bothered to stop for any supplies after her plane landed, she stopped at the only place she could to get some food to take home with her.
Home.
Not for long. She had a week to get things packed up and moved to Boston. The sadness never far from her conscious came rushing forward. Her step faltered. The nonstop ache for Tucker seized her insides. No matter how hard she tried to get him out of her head, he"d taken up residence and no amount of busy work kept him at bay.
Less than twenty-four hours away from him and she"d sat down at her computer to send him an email. Shame at being unable to resist him still burned inside her. Still, whether or not he hated her she"d made sure he understood there would never be a book. Her attempt to get back to writing through a journal had been a colossal error on her part. At the very least, her conscience was clear.
Coming here had been a mistake. She didn"t want to make small talk with Tucker"s sister and pretend that everything was fine. Or worse suffer Nina"s wrath for her perceived betrayal. Maggie sighed. Either way, she"d be tempted to ask about him and finding out he"d already moved on after a mere two days would likely kill her. Not that she had much room to talk. Twenty minutes after her interview at University of Boston, she"d made the decision to move north.
If only to escape.
The idea of running into Tucker, or driving past the turn off to his estate every day knowing she no longer belonged there made her stomach twist into knots and acid churn within. So Boston it would be. Although she"d had no luck finding an apartment for rent on such short notice. She figured a little time in front of her computer would solve that problem. That"s what realtors and Craigslist were for.
The too familiar burn of oncoming tears made the decision to leave without dinner an easy one. No way in h.e.l.l did she want to face Nina yet. Maggie turned around and headed back out the door.
"Excuse me. Where do you think you"re going young lady?"
Maggie froze at the strong sound of Nina"s voice. Slowly she turned and faced the woman. "I-uh-"
"Yeah, you uh-uh, whatever. Get your a.s.s back in here and grab a table. You look like you could use a strong cup of coffee and some food."
Maggie had no idea what to say to that so she obediently followed Nina back into the cafe. Somehow she"d get through this without asking about Tucker. She had to. She was better off not knowing.
"Take the booth in the corner and I"ll be right back with your coffee. I"ve got two customers to take care of and then it"s just you and me." Nina rushed off before Maggie could respond.
She slid into the booth and pushed her purse to her side. She inhaled deeply. Something in the diner smelled so d.a.m.ned good it made her mouth water. Maggie pressed a hand to her stomach to halt the rumbling. Had she stopped to eat anything since she"d left her hotel room that morning? She couldn"t remember. Some of the fatigue from her whirlwind two days began to catch up with her as she sank bonelessly into the supple leather seat of the booth. She rested her head on the cushion behind her and closed her eyes.
A busy couple of days wasn"t her problem at all. She missed Tucker. For the first time in her life, she"d really felt like she belonged. Not as a doted on child, or an ornament on someone"s arm, but a real partic.i.p.ant. That sensation had left her thoughts about research scattered as she tried to transition from observer to partic.i.p.ant to researcher again.
Her body began to release some of its tension as warmth seeped into her bones. Boston in the wintertime had proven harsh and she wasn"t used to that. When the plane landed back in North Carolina, she"d breathed a momentary sigh of relief to see the gorgeous Carolina blue sky.
"Wake up sleeping beauty. You need some nourishment before you pa.s.s out."
Maggie cracked an eye open to discover Nina hovering at the edge of the table with a mug of coffee and a bowl of some delicious-smelling soup. "Thank you."
"Don"t thank me yet." Nina slid into the booth across from her. "I plan to grill you about my brother."
Maggie groaned. "Do you have to?"
"Of course I do. What are sisters for if not to b.u.t.t into her brother"s life? Besides, I care about what happens to you to. And from my vantage point I"m guessing you"re both acting like a couple of a.s.ses."
Maggie took a bite of the smoky corn chowder and gave herself a second to regroup. "Anyone ever tell you that you have a succinct way of putting things?"
Nina shrugged. "Just because you uptight types aren"t used to someone telling it like it is, doesn"t mean I"m letting you or Tucker off the hook. Now spill. Tell me why my brother is not answering my calls or his front door."
Maggie winced and averted her eyes. Had their break up had that much of an effect on him? Surely not. "You"re probably overreacting. We both know he"s p.r.o.ne to fall off the grid when he"s in his studio."
"Don"t even try to bulls.h.i.t a bulls.h.i.tter. Tucker came by here on Sunday morning before he went to Mayfield and wouldn"t shut up about you. Now he"s gone silent? No one turns around that quickly over some art. Not even my brother. Besides, it"s too d.a.m.ned cold for him to work the gla.s.s. He won"t be back at it full time until Spring comes round. Oops. There went your final excuse."
What the h.e.l.l, Nina was going to find out sooner or later. If Tucker wouldn"t listen to her, maybe getting the truth off her chest to Nina would make it easier to leave.
"Tucker thinks I was planning to betray his trust to the media by writing a book that included details about his s.e.xual life," she blurted.
Nina c.o.c.ked an eye. "Oh boy. And are you?"
"Of course not! I"ve never written about someone who hadn"t given me their express permission beforehand. Of course, the horse"s a.s.s would have known that if he"d given me five minutes to explain before making his a.s.sumptions."
Her friend laughed. "I take it you"re not happy with him right now."
"Happy? Does this haggard, bags-under-my-eyes face look happy to you?"
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"I"m going to pick up the pieces and move on. I"ve received a new job offer in Boston and I plan to take it. I have a few days to pack and then I"ll be out of Tucker"s life for good." Putting the thoughts to words tore through her chest.
Nina leaned in close. "You should see your face. Maybe you were able to say you were leaving but your expression said it all. You don"t want to leave anymore than I imagine my boneheaded brother wants you to."
Maggie straightened her back and set down her spoon. No way could she eat now. "You"re wrong. His words to me couldn"t have been anymore final if he"d driven me to the airport himself."
"It"s true, he"s stubborn as a pack mule, I"ll give you that. But you"re the first woman I"ve ever seen him serious about." She held up her hand. "No wait, before you protest. I know he dropped you off at home on Sunday morning. Did he tell you where he was going? Where he goes every single Sunday year after year after year."
She shook her head. She"d been so wrapped up in the afterglow of their scenes she"d thought very little of anything else that weekend.
"That"s what I thought. Well, since he"s too close-mouthed to talk about it then I will. I"ll take the heat from him later, but I think it will be worth it." She glanced around. "I know you"re familiar with our father. I mean who wouldn"t be. Before his death he"d risen to a pretty powerful figure around here. With his religious convictions and presumably endless devotion to family, he traded on that power for a lot of wealth. He built an empire that to this day remains strong and unbreakable."
"I don"t understand. What does this have to do with where he went on Sunday. Your father pa.s.sed away years ago."
"Thank G.o.d."
Maggie sat back, shocked by Nina"s exclamation.
"I know. I know. You don"t understand. No one does and that"s the way Tucker wants to keep it. The less the public knows the better." Nina covered Maggie"s hands. "The point I"m trying to get to is this. Just before his death, something really bad happened. No. I can"t tell you but you can trust me that it"s pretty bad and his mom had a full mental breakdown. A catatonic, no longer speaks kind of breakdown, and she"s never recovered."
"What-?"
"No. That"s all you"re getting out of me. You need to talk to Tucker. He"s the one who needs to open up with you before he can really trust. Until then you"ll both be stuck. Him going out to the sanitarium to see his mother every weekend as the focus of his life and you never understanding why he is the way he is." Nina stood. "Talk to him. Bang down his door if you have to. If you can get the truth out of him then I"ll know I was right all along."
"Right about what?" Maggie asked, but Nina had already walked off and was speaking to a customer at another table.
Chapter Sixteen.
Maggie checked the clock on her dash for the umpteenth time. Like it or not her time was up. It had been two days since her chat with Nina and the silence since deafened her. She checked her phone too frequently for word from Tucker to no avail. The man had written her off.
The bone-deep sadness that thought created burned inside her. Despite Nina"s solemn wisdom and information about some of what held Tucker back, Maggie couldn"t bring herself to go see him. She couldn"t take seeing the despair and belief in her betrayal across his face again. It was enough she spent half her night in bed reliving that last day with him. Loneliness weighed on her.
She pulled up to the cabin and rushed to the front door. The weather report called for more snow tonight and she wanted to be inside by a cozy fire long before the first flake fell. She unlocked the door, and stepped inside her warm house and froze in place, her feet rooted to the ground.
Standing larger than life in front her was a giant portrait of her on Tucker"s bondage wheel. It took her a full thirty seconds before she could breathe and another thirty for her to move. Her gaze bounced around the room, seeking Tucker, to only find the room empty. Her heart squeezed. For a split second she"d thought...
Maggie moved closer to the portrait and studied it. He"d captured the stark sensuality of their scene exactly as she remembered it. Her facial expression managed to convey intense l.u.s.t with a hint of fear. His art skills were amazing. Not a detail had been missed. It didn"t take much to be transported back to that first day as she stood there watching him draw. Her body quivered at the memory. She"d interviewed submissives who talked a lot about how hard their Doms made them come. That day she"d learned exactly what that meant. With his attention everywhere on her body she"d experienced firsthand that mind blowing, mind altering o.r.g.a.s.ms were hard to forget.
What did it mean that he"d brought this here? Did he want to see her again? Or was he simply removing all trace of her from his life?
Maggie sighed. Would the physical and mental ache for her Master ever go away?
Too tired to make dinner or do more than change her clothes, Maggie left the painting behind and went to bed. Tomorrow her new life would start and this one would end forever.
Unfortunately, after hours of tossing and turning, sleep continued to elude her. She grabbed her pillow and a blanket and returned to the living room. Here the faint scent of Tucker"s playroom filled her senses and made it easier to relax. She had to stop thinking like this. The longer she allowed him to dominate her thoughts the longer it would take for her to move on.
She eased onto the pillow and snuggled under the blanket. Tomorrow for certain she"d let it go. Maggie wondered if Tucker missed her as much as she missed him. He"d been planning to give her- Maggie bolted upright. The collar! Oh c.r.a.p. She"d forgotten all about it. She had to get it back to him. Her gaze shot to the clock above the couch. Only 9:30. Still early enough. She slumped. What if he didn"t want to see her? Nina"s a.s.surance that Tucker deserved a second chance pushed at her brain.
It"s now or never, idiot.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she got dressed, grabbed the jewelry box from her desk and headed out the door.
When the doorbell rang and Tucker checked the security camera a sense of Dej vu overcame him. She"d come.
He opened the front door and had a small box thrust in his face.
"Here, I wanted to make sure I got this back to you before I left."
She stood before him dressed in form-fitting pants that hugged the curves of her legs with a parka zipped up to her chin and the hood pulled over her hair. Her eyes were wide and she refused to look at him directly.
One glance at her and the tumble of emotions he"d been fighting for the last several days overtook him. Guilt, anger, love... They were all there and driving him insane. He"d spent the first two days obsessed with her painting, making small subtle changes that brought her to life on canvas. That had only made things worse.
"Take it, Tucker. I don"t know what else to do with it." The soft plead in her voice unraveled the last of his reservations. How she conveyed so much sorrow in a few words he"d never know.
"I don"t want the d.a.m.n necklace. I want the sub that comes with it." He growled the words, making them sound far harsher than he"d intended.
Her hand dropped to her side and tears shimmered in her eyes, the look on her face breaking his heart in two. Tucker grabbed her jacket and pulled her to him. He had to make her forget the vile s.h.i.t that had come from his mouth. She deserved so much better. If she ever decided to write a book so be it. He"d have Mason buy the f.u.c.king publishing house and make sure it never saw the light of day.
"I"m sorry." Two words were all he could get out before he had to kiss her. He wound his hand behind her head and jacket, tugged her close and crushed his mouth against hers. He poured everything he felt into the one kiss. He couldn"t help it. His world had gone dark the moment he"d walked away from her, making it d.a.m.ned difficult to think or act straight.
Heated l.u.s.t flooded through him. He"d already gone hard the minute he opened the door and now his erection pressing against her soft body made his head spin. With need riding him harder than the devil at a church revival, he dragged her into the house and against the wall.
His head screamed conquer while his tongue delved into the sweet heat of his Maggie.
Mine. The word repeated in his head on an endless loop.
First, he had to get this jacket off of her. He wanted her skin touching his. Without tearing from her mouth, his fingers made quick work of getting the infernal puffy jacket that hid her from him, off her body. To his surprise she pushed against him, squashing her b.r.e.a.s.t.s into his chest. Can"t breathe.
He tore from her mouth and gulped for air. Besides the lack of oxygen, it felt like all the blood in his body had rushed to his groin. "Need. Oh G.o.d, Maggie. Baby." He stroked her face. "I really f.u.c.ked up, but I need you so bad I can barely breathe. I have to have you."
Her lips parted and her eyes widened, zeroing in on him. This time he had her full attention. "You"ve had me from the beginning."
That simple confession broke him. He reached for the thin shirt she"d worn under her jacket and ripped it down the front. He pushed her bra over her t.i.ts and buried his face between them. Her familiar sweet scent flooded his senses. Oh f.u.c.k yes.
"I can"t be gentle," he warned.
Her small fingers threaded through his hair and held him tight. "Don"t care about gentle," she panted.
He groaned into her soft flesh. He was pretty sure she"d just melted his brain. There was no way in h.e.l.l he deserved this woman with her beautiful trusting eyes watching his every move. Not that anything could stop him now. He loved her. He nibbled a path from her b.r.e.a.s.t.s to her neck, placing a series of kisses across her sweet skin.
He wanted to slow things down and savor her but his body had a mind of its own. His fingers yanked at her pants until they were halfway down her legs. He got to his knees and helped her step out of them before he flung them aside. With their bodies perfectly positioned he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her mound. When his fingers slid between the lips of her p.u.s.s.y his eyes rolled to the back of his head she felt so f.u.c.king good. "You"re so wet for me." He easily slipped a finger inside her and f.u.c.ked her with it.