"You don"t know that."
"No. But it"s interesting to speculate," Carlisle said in a soothing voice.
"Yeah. Just fascinating."
Bella"s light snore started up again, accenting my sarcasm nicely.
They got into it then, quickly taking the genetics conversation to a point where the only words I could understand were the the"s and the and"s. And my own name, of course.
Alice joined in, commenting now and then in her chirpy bird voice.
Even though they were talking about me, I didn"t try to figure out the conclusions they were drawing. I had other things on my mind, a few facts I was trying to reconcile.
Fact one, Bella"d said that the creature was protected by something as strong as vampire skin, something that was too impenetrable for ultrasounds, too tough for needles. Fact two, Rosalie"d said they had a plan to deliver the creature safely. Fact three, Edward"d said that-in myths-other monsters like this one would chew their way out of their own mothers.
I shuddered.
And that made a sick kind of sense, because, fact four, not many things could cut through something as strong as vampire skin. The half-creature"s teeth-according to myth-were strong enough. My teeth were strong enough.
And vampire teeth were strong enough.
It was hard to miss the obvious, but I sure wished I could. Because I had a pretty good idea exactly how Rosalie planned to get that thing "safely" out.
16. TOO-MUCH-INFORMATION ALERT.
I took off early, long before sunrise was due. I"d gotten just a little bit of uneasy sleep leaning against the side of the sofa. Edward woke me when Bella"s face was flushed, and he took my spot to cool her back down. I stretched and decided I was rested enough to get some work done.
"Thank you," Edward said quietly, seeing my plans. "If the route is clear, they"ll go today."
"I"ll let you know."
It felt good to get back to my animal self. I was stiff from sitting still for so long. I extended my stride, working out the kinks.
Morning, Jacob, Leah greeted me.
Good, you"re up. How long" s Seth been out?
Not out yet, Seth thought sleepily. Almost there. What do you need?
You think you got another hour in you?
Sure thing. No problem. Seth got to his feet right away, shaking out his fur.
Let" s make the deep run, I told Leah. Seth, take the perimeter .
Gotcha. Seth broke into an easy jog.
Off on another vampire errand, Leah grumbled.
You got a problem with that?
Of course not. I just love to coddle those darling leeches.
Good. Let" s see how fast we can run.
Okay, I"m definitely up for that!
Leah was on the far western rim of the perimeter. Rather than cut close to the Cullens"
house, she stuck to the circle as she raced around to meet me. I sprinted off straight east, knowing that even with the head start, she"d be pa.s.sing me soon if I took it easy for even a second.
Nose to the ground, Leah. This isn" t a race, it" s a reconnaissance mission.
I can do both and still kick your b.u.t.t.
I gave her that one. I know.She laughed.
We took a winding path through the eastern mountains. It was a familiar route. We"d run these mountains when the vampires had left a year ago, making it part of our patrol route to better protect the people here. Then we"d pulled back the lines when the Cullens returned. This was their treaty land.
But that fact would probably mean nothing to Sam now. The treaty was dead. The question today was how thin he was willing to spread his force. Was he looking for stray Cullens to poach on their land or not? Had Jared spoken the truth or taken advantage of the silence between us?
We got deeper and deeper into the mountains without finding any trace of the pack.
Fading vampire trails were everywhere, but the scents were familiar now. I was breathing them in all day long.
I found a heavy, somewhat recent concentration on one particular trail-all of them coming and going here except for Edward. Some reason for gathering that must have been forgotten when Edward brought his dying pregnant wife home. I gritted my teeth.
Whatever it was, it had nothing to do with me.
Leah didn"t push herself past me, though she could have now. I was paying more attention to each new scent than I was to the speed contest. She kept to my right side, running with me rather than racing against me.
We"re getting pretty far out here, she commented.
Yeah. If Sam was hunting strays, we should have crossed his trail by now.
Makes more sense right now for him to bunker down in La Push, Leah thought. He knows we"re giving the bloodsuckers three extra sets of eyes and legs. He" s not going to be able to surprise them.
This was just a precaution, really.
Wouldn" t want our precious parasites taking unnecessary chances.
Nope, I agreed, ignoring the sarcasm.
You"ve changed so much, Jacob. Talk about one-eighties.
You"re not exactly the same Leah I"ve always known and loved, either .
True. Am I less annoying than Paul now?
Amazingly... yes.
Ah, sweet success.
Congrats.We ran in silence again then. It was probably time to turn around, but neither of us wanted to. It felt nice to run like this. We"d been staring at the same small circle of a trail for too long. It felt good to stretch our muscles and take the rugged terrain. We weren"t in a huge hurry, so I thought maybe we should hunt on the way back. Leah was pretty hungry.
Yum, yum, she thought sourly.
It" s all in your head, I told her. That" s the way wolves eat. It" s natural. It tastes fine. If you didn" t think about it from a human perspective- Forget the pep talk, Jacob. I"ll hunt. I don" t have to like it.
Sure, sure, I agreed easily. It wasn"t my business if she wanted to make things harder for herself.
She didn"t add anything for a few minutes; I started thinking about turning back.
Thank you, Leah suddenly told me in a much different tone.
For?
For letting me be. For letting me stay. You"ve been nicer than I had any right to expect, Jacob.
Er , no problem. Actually, I mean that. I don" t mind having you here like I thought I would.
She snorted, but it was a playful sound. What a glowing commendation!
Don" t let it go to your head.
Okay-if you don" t let this go to yours. She paused for a second. I think you make a good Alpha. Not in the same way Sam does, but in your own way. You"re worth following, Jacob.
My mind went blank with surprise. It took me a second to recover enough to respond.
Er , thanks. Not totally sure I"ll be able to stop that one from going to my head, though.
Where did that come from?
She didn"t answer right away, and I followed the wordless direction of her thoughts. She was thinking about the future-about what I"d said to Jared the other morning. About how the time would be up soon, and then I"d go back to the forest. About how I"d promised that she and Seth would return to the pack when the Cullens were gone...
I want to stay with you, she told me.
The shock shot through my legs, locking my joints. She blew past me and then put on the brakes. Slowly, she walked back to where I was frozen in place. I won" t be a pain, I swear . I won" t follow you around. You can go wherever you want, and I"ll go where I want. You"ll only have to put up with me when we"re both wolves.
She paced back and forth in front of me, swishing her long gray tail nervously. And, as I"m planning on quitting as soon as I can manage it... maybe that won" t be so often.
I didn"t know what to say.
I"m happier now, as a part of your pack, than I have been in years.
I want to stay, too, Seth thought quietly. I hadn"t realized he"d been paying much attention to us as he ran the perimeter. I like this pack.
Hey, now! Seth, this isn" t going to be a pack much longer . I tried to put my thoughts together so they would convince him. We"ve got a purpose now, but when... after that" s over , I"m just going to go wolf. Seth, you need a purpose. You"re a good kid. You"re the kind of person who always has a crusade. And there" s no way you"re leaving La Push now. You"re going to graduate from high school and do something with your life. You"re going to take care of Sue. My issues are not going to mess up your future.
But- Jacob is right, Leah seconded.
You"re agreeing with me?
Of course. But none of that applies to me. I was on my way out, anyway. I"ll get a job somewhere away from La Push. Maybe take some courses at a community college. Get into yoga and meditation to work on my temper issues.... And stay a part of this pack for the sake of my mental well-being. Jacob-you can see how that makes sense, right?
I won" t bother you, you won" t bother me, everyone is happy.
I turned back and started loping slowly toward the west.
This is a bit much to deal with, Leah. Let me think about it, "kay?
Sure. Take your time.
It took us longer to make the run back. I wasn"t trying for speed. I was just trying to concentrate enough that I wouldn"t plow headfirst into a tree. Seth was grumbling a little bit in the back of my head, but I was able to ignore him. He knew I was right. He wasn"t going to abandon his mom. He would go back to La Push and protect the tribe like he should.
But I couldn"t see Leah doing that. And that was just plain scary.
A pack of the two of us? No matter the physical distance, I couldn"t imagine the... the intimacy of that situation. I wondered if she"d really thought it through, or if she was just desperate to stay free.Leah didn"t say anything as I chewed it over. It was like she was trying to prove how easy it would be if it was just us.
We ran into a herd of black-tailed deer just as the sun was coming up, brightening the clouds a little bit behind us. Leah sighed internally but didn"t hesitate. Her lunge was clean and efficient-graceful, even. She took down the largest one, the buck, before the startled animal fully understood the danger.
Not to be outdone, I swooped down on the next largest deer, snapping her neck between my jaws quickly, so she wouldn"t feel unnecessary pain. I could feel Leah"s disgust warring with her hunger, and I tried to make it easier for her by letting the wolf in me have my head. I"d lived all-wolf for long enough that I knew how to be the animal completely, to see his way and think his way. I let the practical instincts take over, letting her feel that, too. She hesitated for a second, but then, tentatively, she seemed to reach out with her mind and try to see my way. It felt very strange-our minds were more closely linked than they had ever been before, because we both were trying to think together.
Strange, but it helped her. Her teeth cut through the fur and skin of her kill"s shoulder, tearing away a thick slab of streaming flesh. Rather than wince away as her human thoughts wanted to, she let her wolf-self react instinctively. It was kind of a numbing thing, a thoughtless thing. It let her eat in peace.
It was easy for me to do the same. And I was glad I hadn"t forgotten this. This would be my life again soon.
Was Leah going to be a part of that life? A week ago, I would"ve found that idea beyond horrifying. I wouldn"t"ve been able to stand it. But I knew her better now. And, relieved from the constant pain, she wasn"t the same wolf. Not the same girl.
We ate together until we both were full.
Thanks, she told me later as she was cleaning her muzzle and paws against the wet gra.s.s. I didn"t bother; it had just started to drizzle and we had to swim the river again on our way back. I"d get clean enough. That wasn" t so bad, thinking your way.
You"re welcome.
Seth was dragging when we hit the perimeter. I told him to get some sleep; Leah and I would take over the patrol. Seth"s mind faded into unconsciousness just seconds later.
You headed back to the bloodsuckers? Leah asked.
Maybe.
It" s hard for you to be there, but hard to stay away, too. I know how that feels.
You know, Leah, you might want to think a little bit about the future, about what you really want to do. My head is not going to be the happiest place on earth. And you"ll have to suffer right along with me.She thought about how to answer me. Wow, this is going to sound bad. But, honestly, it will be easier to deal with your pain than face mine.