She would have gone again, but this time the huskiness in his voice stopped her. "Lily."
When she swung around suddenly, she saw a flicker of something on his face...and she waited, hoping.
"What did you have in mind?" he asked.
If that wasn"t a loaded question! But she did have something in mind. She just didn"t know if he"d go for it.
"How are you celebrating Thanksgiving?" Lily asked. It was only three days away. If he had plans, so be it. She"d figure out something else.
"I plan to pick up a turkey dinner at the Yellow Rose."
She noticed the lines around Mitch"s mouth seemed deeper. "And take it home and eat it alone?"
"I guess that"s not how most people celebrate Thanksgiving, but afterward I was going to make some phone calls, to make sure everyone was still coming next weekend."
His reunion weekend. The one she"d thought she"d be involved in. "Would you like to come along with Ellie and me to Raina and Shep"s?"
Considering that for a few heartbeats, Mitch finally answered, "Are you sure they wouldn"t mind having an unexpected guest?"
Her heart seemed to jump against her chest. "Shep said Eva bought a turkey big enough to fill the entire oven. I"m sure they won"t mind."
"You already checked this out with Raina, didn"t you?" he asked suspiciously.
"Actually, it was her idea. I mentioned things were strained between us here."
"Women," he said with a bit of exasperation. "Do you have to tell each other everything?"
"Not everything," Lily a.s.sured him quickly.
There was a darkening of Mitch"s eyes and she knew he"d caught her underlying meaning.
"Ellie might not like the idea," he pointed out.
"No, she might not. And for her sake, it might be better if we meet at Shep and Raina"s ranch."
"Doesn"t this take us back where we started?" he asked with such soberness she realized much more was going on under the surface than he was revealing.
"No, it doesn"t. Because I"ll tell her I invited you. I"ll make that clear."
It was easy for her to see that Mitch was debating with himself.
Although she didn"t want to say acceptable words just because he wanted to hear them, she did. "If you don"t want to come, that"s okay. I understand. I just thought maybe we could ease back into...friendship."
"With a crowd around?" he asked, the corner of his lip quirking up.
"Sometimes conversation comes more easily that way."
"And kids are always great buffers."
"Yes," she agreed, now holding her breath, waiting for his answer.
He gave it in the form of another question. "What time does Thanksgiving dinner start?"
When Raina pulled Mitch into a bedlam of bubbling voices, running kids and chattering adults, he knew he must be crazy. He could be sitting home alone, in front of a takeout turkey dinner- His gaze found Lily right off. At the stove, she was testing the boiling potatoes. Her hair was arranged in a wispy version of a bun that made his fingers tingle to pull it down. She was wearing a calf-length suede skirt with tan boots, and a long multicolored blouse with a concho belt slung low on her slim waist. When she turned to wave at him, he could read her ap.r.o.n that proclaimed in block lettering, I"d Rather Cook Than Clean.
As Shep came toward him, Mitch offered him a bottle of wine. To Raina, he handed a bouquet of colorful mums.
"You didn"t have to do that," she said.
"I wanted to." He really had. It was nice of them to include him.
How much did Lily want him here? Maybe she just wanted them to work together without snubbing each other. That would be a far cry from becoming friends again. Friends like before Troy had died? Or friends like after the twins were born?
Lily"s babies were sitting in play saucers in the kitchen so she could keep her eye on them. Eva was conversing with Ellie as they made a salad together. Ellie had given Mitch a glance and lifted a hand in his direction, but that was about all.
This could be one interesting Thanksgiving dinner.
Although he knew it wasn"t in his best interest, he did want to see how Sophie and Grace had grown.
It had been more than difficult to stay away from Lily and her daughters all these months. But he"d felt it was the right move to make. She"d needed time to recover from Troy"s pa.s.sing. And even now he doubted enough time had pa.s.sed. But today was about getting a real look at her life again. If he had to try to watch over her without getting involved, then somehow he"d manage that.
He hunkered down at Grace"s play saucer, helping her ring a bell, spin a wheel and study her face in the mirror. She giggled at him and reached out to touch his jaw. That tiny hand on his chin made his heart squeeze uncomfortably, so he gave it a gentle pat and moved on to Sophie, who seemed a little more sedate. After all, she was the older sister, even if it was only by two to three minutes. She was slower to let Mitch join in her private game, but eventually she welcomed the intricacies of his set of keys and would have kept them if not for her mom intervening.
"She"ll put them in her mouth," Lily said. "I try to keep her toys as sterile as possible, but you know how that is."
"Actually, I don"t, but I can imagine with their crawling all over the floor." He looked around at the saucers and stroller and the high chairs. "You must have brought a truck."
Lily laughed.
"The high chairs and stroller fold. Ellie stowed them in the back of her car." She glanced back at the potatoes. "I"d better finish those if we want them ready with the turkey."
"Do you need help with the pot?" It was huge and, he imagined, quite heavy.
"Sure. That would be great."
As he stepped around her, his hip brushed hers. That minor connection of their bodies threw him more than he wanted to admit. He stood in front of the stove and reached for the pot. As always with Lily, physical contact sent his system into a rush forward toward something out of his reach. He thought that might have diminished in their time apart.
It hadn"t.
Coming here today had been stupid. He avoided her gaze as he drained the potatoes into a colander in the sink, steam billowing up all around them. This isn"t the first time, he thought ironically.
"Into the mixing bowl?" he asked, looking at the bowl on the counter.
She nodded, avoiding his gaze, too.
They were a pair. No, not a pair, he corrected himself. Just two individuals with wants and needs that couldn"t be fulfilled.
He saw Lily go over to her daughters and consult with Raina, who was playing with them, her own five-month-old cuddled close on her lap. Then Lily returned to the mixer.
"Raina said I could put in whatever I want, so here goes."
"Whatever you want?" he asked. "I thought they just got b.u.t.ter and milk."
"That"s the plain version," Lily explained with a smile, starting the mixer. "I like to add a little pizzazz."
She added pizzazz all right. With fascination, he watched her add sour cream, milk, chives and a blob of b.u.t.ter for good measure.
"No cholesterol there," he muttered.
She jabbed him in the ribs. "It"s Thanksgiving."
He liked the feel of her friendliness again. He"d missed her a lot over the past five months. In his email inquiries, he"d wanted to ask question after question-about the babies and about her. Yet he"d known he had to, in large part, leave her alone. He should have done that to begin with. Today, however, with her close by his side, within kissing distance, inhaling the familiar scent of her perfume, he saw keeping a wall up between them was either very smart...or very stupid. What would an affair do to them? Was she even open to one? Were either of them really ready to move on?
After whipping the potatoes into a delicious white frenzy, Lily stuck in a spoon, took a fingerful and poked it into her mouth. She rolled her eyes. "Just right. Try some?"
He"d watched that finger go into her mouth. He"d watched her lips pucker up. He"d watched her lick it. If there weren"t so many people in the big kitchen, he"d kiss her. But there were and he didn"t. Instead he put his finger on the spoon, curled potatoes onto it and popped it into his mouth.
"Just right," he agreed, his eyes locking to hers, his gut telling him they weren"t finished and might never be.
Mitch barely heard the sound of sc.r.a.ping chairs and laughter and the clatter of silverware. He did hear the doorbell ring. Soon after, the door opened and he heard a woman"s voice call, "We"re here."
Shep picked up the turkey on its platter and carried it to the table, explaining to Mitch, "It"s Raina"s mom and brother. Ryder just got off his shift."
Mitch knew Raina"s brother was a cop.
Ryder and Sonya Greystone came into the kitchen and were introduced to Mitch. Sonya said to him, "I hope you"re a big eater, like Shep. I made pumpkin, apple and cherry pies, and I don"t want to take any home."
Shep gave her a bear hug. "You don"t have to worry about that."
Mitch had never experienced anything like this Thanksgiving celebration-so many people who seemed like family and really cared about each other. Then he realized that conclusion wasn"t true. When he and his buddies and families got together, it was a similar feeling. Family meant something different to everyone, and he was suddenly glad he hadn"t stayed home today and eaten dinner in front of a football game.
In the next few minutes, he helped Lily transfer the potatoes from the mixing bowl to a beautiful serving dish embellished with roses and gold trim. He stared at it for a second and Lily asked, "Mitch?"
In the midst of the holiday chaos, he said in a low voice, "This dish reminds me of one my mom used when she tried to make the holidays a celebration for the two of us."
"Holidays are supposed to be about memories and traditions and loved ones, even when they"re not still with us."
He"d walked into that one. When his gaze met Lily"s, he expected to see sadness on her face. Instead, he saw an emotion more poignant.
She said, "If you"ll put those on the table, I"ll set the twins in their high chairs."
In the next few minutes, everyone was seated around the huge, rectangular table. Even Joey and Roy seemed awed by the amount of food in front of them.
In the moment of quiet, Shep said, "Let"s all give thanks for being together today."
Mitch didn"t know where the chain started-maybe with Shep"s children-but everyone held hands and bowed their heads, remembering Thanksgivings past, grateful for the opportunity to be together like this with more than enough food for everyone to eat.
Lily had taken Mitch"s hand. He intertwined his fingers with hers and she looked over at him, her eyes questioning. He didn"t have the answers to those questions. They"d have to just see where today took them.
After dinner, Mitch and Shep played a board game with Roy and Joey while Eva recorded everything she could on a video camera. Every once in a while Mitch glanced over at Eva, who was sitting on the floor beside Manuel as he rode a high-tech rocking horse. The letters of the alphabet appeared on a little screen in front of him the longer he rocked back and forth. Grace and Sophie crawled around Lily and Ellie"s feet, while Raina played with her daughter in one of the play saucers.
Roy shouted, "I won," and everyone cheered as he moved his marker into the winning block.
Mitch moved to the sofa while the boys ran to the playroom for another game. Aware of Grace crawling over to him, he smiled when she sat before him and raised her arms. He knew what that meant. It had been a while since he"d held one of the twins, a while since he"d felt as if he should.
A baby"s needs always trumped overthinking, so he bent and lifted her up to his lap. At nine months she was a heartbreaker. He could only imagine how beautiful she"d be as a teenager, when someone would have to protect her from overeager guys who would date her.
Grace grinned up at him and snuggled into his chest as if she were just waiting for a place to enjoy a comfortable nap.
Ellie, who"d been talking to Raina"s mother and Eva across the room, came to sit beside him. She patted Grace"s leg. "Tired, little one?"
"The day"s celebration has wiped her out," Mitch said amiably. He didn"t know what Ellie thought about his being here today.
"She only had a short nap this afternoon before we came."
Mitch touched Grace"s name embroidered on the front of her pale green overalls. "Did you make this?"
"Yes, I did. I finally got the website up and running last month, and I have orders."
"So you"re thinking about staying in Sagebrush?"
"That depends on Lily. Mom asked her to come back to Oklahoma and raise the twins there. That way she and my dad could see them more often and give her all the help she needs."
Mitch remained silent. Finally he said, "Lily seemed happy to get back to work. She"d have to find a practice in Oklahoma City or start her own."
"That"s true. But Oklahoma City is a medical center. I don"t think she"d have a problem starting over there."
Grace"s tiny fingers rubbed up and down against Mitch"s sweater as if it were a security blanket.
"What if Lily decides to stay in Sagebrush? Will you support that decision?" Mitch asked.
"Do you think you can convince her to do that?" Ellie asked in return.
"This isn"t about convincing. It"s about what Lily wants and where she wants to raise her daughters."
"You sound so removed from it. Don"t you care?"
Oh, he cared. More than he wanted to admit-more than he dared to admit. "I won"t persuade Lily one way or the other. She has to make up her own mind. If she doesn"t, she"ll have regrets."
"She asked you here today." Ellie"s voice was almost accusing.
"I"m not sure why she did. As you know, we haven"t seen each other for a while." Ellie was the type of woman who wanted the cards on the table, so he might as well put them there.
"You two have a connection," Ellie said softly. "One anyone can see."
"Anyone can?"
"You can"t hide it, even though you both try."