Looking surprised that he knew a detail like that, she responded, "I started making customized outfits for gifts for friends and relatives. They became so popular, I was getting orders. That"s when I decided to open the store. At first I did pretty well, but then when harder times. .h.i.t, even folks who had the money for those kind of clothes decided to spend it elsewhere."
"I hope your web-based business takes off for you."
"I hope so, too. But in the meantime, I"m going to enjoy taking care of Grace and Sophie. Did you spend much time with them when you brought Lily home from the hospital?"
She clearly wasn"t giving up on turning over every leaf of his a.s.sociation with Lily. But he didn"t have anything to hide-not really. "Two babies are a handful. That"s why I think it"s important Lily get away for a bit tonight."
Ellie"s green eyes canva.s.sed his face as if searching for motives. Finally, she admitted, "I"m glad the weather turned warm enough."
At that moment, Lily came down the stairs.
Automatically, Mitch turned her way. She was wearing blue jeans and a red blouse with a yellow wind-breaker tossed over her arm. She"d fashioned her hair with a clip at the nape and she looked...fantastic. Her blue eyes seemed even bluer tonight as she gave him a tentative smile. He couldn"t look away and she seemed to be as immobilized as he was...
...Until Ellie cleared her throat and asked, "How long do you think the concert will last?"
Lily burst into motion, as if in denial that the moment of awareness had ever happened. "Oh, we won"t stay for the whole concert, and I"ll call in to check with you. That"s the nice thing about going to the lake. I don"t have to worry about anybody being bothered if I make phone calls during the concert. Since this is the first concert of the season, the audience will be spa.r.s.e. So call me if the least little thing is wrong, or you think I should come home."
Lily talked very fast when she was nervous, and that"s what she was doing now. Her last comment led him to wonder if she was looking for an excuse not to go. Was it because she was still uncomfortable since their kiss? He"d find out shortly.
Lily gave Ellie a list of instructions along with phone numbers, then hiked the strap of her purse over her shoulder, took a last look at the monitor, blew a kiss to the image of her daughters and went out the door.
On the drive to the lake they didn"t talk, but rather enjoyed the peaceful scenery-ranches and cotton fields that spread as far as the eye could see, tumbleweeds rolling by.
After he turned off the main road, down a gravel lane, and b.u.mped over a dusty area used as the parking s.p.a.ce for the concert, Lily finally said, "I think I"d forgotten how green everything is at this time of year, how spring smells, how the sky turns purple and orange at sunset. In some ways, I feel like I"ve been locked in a closet since last summer, not really seeing what was around me. Except the twins, of course."
"You"ve faced a lot of change in the past ten months."
She lowered her window and took a huge breath of outside air as the May breeze tossed her hair. "I don"t want to go back into that closet again."
"Then don"t. You have help now. While you"re on leave, take some time for yourself, too. Figure out who you are again in your new life."
Turning to him, she reached for his arm, and he guessed she didn"t even realize she"d done that. "You"ve been through this, haven"t you?" she asked.
Her fingers on his forearm seemed to send fire through his body. Trying to smother it, he responded roughly, "You know I have. I"m not sure major life change is anything anyone welcomes, especially when it"s borne from tragedy."
He gently tugged away from her touch. "Come on. Let"s go to this concert."
His body still racing with adrenaline from their contact, Mitch pulled a blanket from the backseat. They headed toward the people gathering in a large pavilion. They didn"t see anyone they knew as Mitch dropped the blanket on one of the park benches facing the bandstand. The sides of the pavilion would block the wind and Lily could always wrap herself in the blanket if she got cold.
Their shoulders brushed. Mitch considered moving away, but didn"t. Still, he was glad they hadn"t recognized anyone. He didn"t want Lily having second thoughts about coming. Something told him Ellie would be grilling her when she got back, and she"d have plenty of second thoughts then. He was just glad she"d accepted his invitation tonight, even if it was only to escape her figurative closet for a little while.
The quartet that performed with oboe, ba.s.s, clarinet and guitar played instrumental versions of popular songs. The crowd didn"t grow much larger as Mitch was sure it would have if this had been a country-and-western or bluegra.s.s band, or even an oldies night. But it suited his purpose to be here tonight with Lily, to listen to calm and easy music so she could relax. Even when she called home, no worry lines fanned her brow as Ellie rea.s.sured her that her girls were fine.
When Lily recognized a song, she hummed along. Her face was in profile as she gazed toward the lake, and he could study her without being afraid she"d catch him. Her hair waved in gentle curls under the barrette. Her turned-up nose was so recognizable on Sophie and Grace. Lily"s bangs were long, brushed to one side, her brows a shade darker than her hair as they drew together when she concentrated on the music. She"d never worn much makeup, but tonight he noticed a sheen of gloss on her lips.
He could watch her all night and not tire of her expressions, the tilt of her head, the slant of her cheeks. He felt desire grip him again.
At that moment, she turned away from the music toward him...as if she wanted to sneak a peek at his expression. They both froze, their gazes locked, their bodies leaning just a little closer until the press of their shoulders was noticeable. Mitch reminded himself that there were so many reasons to keep away from Lily.
The music ended and the quartet announced a break.
Not moving away, Lily asked, "What do you think?"
About her? About the night? About the music? Which was the question to answer?
"My mother would have called them a dance band."
Lily blinked as if she hadn"t expected that at all. But then she rallied. "Did she like to dance?"
Letting out a silent sigh of relief, Mitch leaned back so the pressure between their shoulders eased. "She didn"t go out dancing, if that"s what you mean. She didn"t date. She always told me she didn"t have time. She"d say, "Who could work and have time for a man, too?""
"A modern philosophy if I ever heard one," Lily joked.
Mitch chuckled. "Maybe so. But once in a while, she"d put on the radio and I"d catch her dancing around the kitchen. She always got embarra.s.sed, but I could tell that if she"d had the time and a partner, she"d be good at it."
To his surprise, Mitch felt his phone vibrate against his hip. When he checked the caller ID, he recognized the number of a friend, Tony Russo. "I should take this," he said.
"Go ahead. We can go back to your SUV. I really should be getting home."
Because of that pulsating moment when he"d almost kissed her again? "You"re sure?"
"Yes."
The certainty in her answer told him she didn"t want to take the chance of staying longer, the chance that darkness and a starry sky might urge them to become more intimate.
A few minutes later, Lily stood beside Mitch at his SUV, wondering why she had agreed to come with him tonight. This seemed so much like a date and it just couldn"t be! She"d known right away Ellie didn"t approve when she"d told her where she was going.
She had to ask herself...would Troy approve of her being here with Mitch tonight? Troy"s approval still mattered to her. She fingered her wedding ring, still feeling married.
Inhaling the scents of spring on the wind, she attempted to stay in the moment. She exhaled confusion and loss, in favor of life and music and the sliver of moon above. She was aware of Mitch"s conversation, his deep laugh. He asked about someone named Jimmy and reported he"d gotten an email from Matt last week.
She was learning Mitch had more facets than she"d ever imagined. He had depth she"d never known about. He had a past he didn"t want to talk about.
Now, however, when he ended his call, he smiled at her. That smile both comforted her and made her breath hitch!
"An old friend?" she guessed, taking the safe route.
"Yes, Tony served with me in Iraq."
Surprised he was forthcoming about that, she asked, "Is he coming for a visit?"
"You heard me mention the bed-and-breakfast."
She nodded.
"Every year, the first weekend in December, I get together with servicemen I knew in Iraq. We alternate locations and their families come, too. This year it"s my turn to host."
"What a wonderful idea!"
"We usually start planning this time of year to get the best airfares and accommodations. We have a money pool so if someone can"t afford to come, the cash is there to draw on."
"How long does your reunion last?"
"Friday to Sunday. My house will be home base on Sat.u.r.day. Do you have any ideas to occupy kids?"
"Besides enlisting someone to play Santa Claus?" she joked. "I used to do some face painting."
"You"re kidding."
"No. I"m not just a doctor. I have an artistic bent."
He laughed. "That would be perfect."
A bit of moonlight drifted over them as they stood close. The look in Mitch"s eyes was recognizable to her. He"d had that same look before he"d kissed her outside her bedroom.
When he reached out and stroked her cheek, she didn"t pull away. She couldn"t. There was something about Mitch that drew her to him, that made her want to forget her inhibitions, her idea of propriety, her sadness and loss.
"Lily," he murmured as the stars bore witness, as the moon seemed to tilt, as the ground trembled under her feet. The touch of his fingers on her face was filled with an aching longing.
But then he dropped his hand to his side and opened the pa.s.senger door. He didn"t have to say anything and neither did she. They knew they couldn"t kiss again. If they did, they might not stop there.
Ellie, Sophie and Grace were waiting for her. She didn"t want to be any more confused when she walked in that door than she already was now.
Chapter Six.
Time rolled by so fast, Lily could hardly count the days. She spent a lot of time thinking about Mitch, of how he"d touched her face at the lake. That night they"d silently but tacitly backed away from each other. Because of Ellie? Because they both feared their feelings were inappropriate?
The last week in May, Lily pushed Sophie and Grace"s stroller into the office suite that was still familiar to her. Yet when she looked around at the sea-foam-green furniture, the rose carpeting and the green-and-mauve wallpaper, she didn"t feel as if she did belong any more. She"d only been away three months, yet it seemed like a lifetime.
"This is where I work," she told Ellie, motioning to the reception area, the gla.s.s window behind which their receptionist Maryanne sat, the hall leading to exam rooms, office suites and the lab.
"It"s really kind of...cozy," Ellie remarked as if she was surprised. "I think I expected white walls and tile and a sterile atmosphere."
"We try to keep it relaxed," Lily explained. "The couples and women who come to us are stressed enough. The more relaxed we can keep the process, the better."
"How many doctors work here?"
"Four, as well as two nurse-pract.i.tioners, two techs and our receptionist."
Lily rolled the stroller up to the receptionist"s window.
Maryanne slid the gla.s.s open and grinned at her. "We miss you, Dr. Wescott," she said to Lily.
"I miss all of you, too," Lily returned, meaning it. Helping other women have babies was important to her, and even more so now, since she knew the joy of her twins.
She introduced Ellie.
Maryanne came out of her cubicle to coo over the babies. "They"re adorable. I"m so glad you brought them in. And at just the right time. Everybody"s on their lunch break. Go on back to the lounge."
Ellie took a peek down the hall. "Maybe I shouldn"t go with you. I don"t want to interrupt anything."
"Don"t be silly," Lily said. "The practice is usually closed from twelve to one every day. That"s why I was glad when we finished with Tessa right on time. I know Hillary will want to meet you. When I had a checkup with her, I told her about your baby store and your customized outfits. She has a one-year-old. She could be your first paying customer in Sagebrush."
Although Lily had attempted to prepare herself to see Mitch again, she didn"t feel ready. Not after their awkward parting the evening of the concert.
As soon as she pushed open the door to the lounge and saw Mitch sitting at the table with Hillary and Jon, she was tossed back to that night, standing close to him by his SUV, the heat of his fingers a scalding impression on her cheek.
Mitch stood as soon as he spotted her and Ellie, the white lab coat he wore giving him the professional appearance that had been so familiar to her before the night of the banquet, before Grace and Sophie had been born.
The twins were the center of attention now as everyone crowded around. Lily was glad for that, relieved to be able to introduce Ellie to her colleagues, grateful that no one could see how being in the same room with Mitch affected her. Lily couldn"t believe it herself. Maybe she just didn"t want to believe it.
What kind of woman was she? She"d loved her husband, loved him to the moon and back. He"d only been gone for ten months. Many nights she still cried herself to sleep, missing him, needing him, longing for him. Her reaction to Mitch didn"t make sense. Not at all. Before the twins were born, she"d never looked at him as anything but a colleague. But now, as everyone babbled to the babies and chatted politely with Ellie, Mitch"s gaze pa.s.sed over Lily"s lilac top and slacks then swiftly returned to her face. His appraisal left her a little short of breath.
Hurriedly, she ducked her head and bent to scoop Sophie from the stroller. "I don"t know what I"d do without Ellie," she told everyone. "I seem to need six hands when these two are crying at the same time."
"So when are you coming back?" Hillary asked, her short chestnut hair fringing her face.
"Probably in November," she answered, not knowing what the next months would bring.
"You take your time deciding," Jon said. He was tall and lean with narrow black gla.s.ses that made him look scholarly.
Hillary asked, "May I hold Sophie?"
"Sure."
Hillary took the baby and settled her in the crook of her arm, looking down on her with the affection moms feel for kids. "I believe these little girls are going to be pet.i.te."
"Maybe. Or they could eventually grow as tall as Troy." Lily felt the need to mention his name, to bring him into the conversation.
Jon leaned a little closer to her. "How are you doing, really?"
"I"m okay. It"s just the world"s very different without Troy in it. Some days I expect that. Other days I expect him to come walking through the door, pick up Grace and Sophie, to figure out which one will look for his approval and which one won"t."
Hillary had obviously overheard. She said, "I"ll always remember Troy, Lily. I really cherish the table he made for me. It"s absolutely beautiful craftsmanship."
Lily vividly remembered the piece of Troy"s unfinished furniture still in storage. In fact, he"d been in the last stages of completing the plant stand she"d asked him to make when he was deployed. So much was unfinished and Lily didn"t know how to complete the tapestry of the life that had been hers and Troy"s.
Mitch had heard their conversation, too, and turned away, crossing to the refrigerator, closing the top on a juice bottle and setting it inside. His actions were slow and deliberate. She knew she"d brought up Troy to put a boundary around herself again, a boundary that would keep Mitch out. Why had she dropped in today? To catch up with old friends? Or to see him?
As Hillary moved away, rocking Sophie and cooing to her, Lily"s gaze landed on Ellie, who was glancing toward her and then Mitch. No one else seemed to notice the vibes between Lily and Mitch, but apparently Ellie did.
Lily hung out with her colleagues in the lounge for a while. They all wanted to take turns holding the twins and see if they could distinguish between the two. As Lily had suspected, Hillary asked Ellie to tell her all about the clothes she created.