With that I let him go. The colloquy had not only done me no service, but had positively emboldened him--or so I seemed to perceive as the weeks went on--in his efforts to cast off his old slough and become a travesty of me, as he had been a travesty of my uncle. I am willing to believe that they caused him pain. A crust of habit so inveterate as his cannot be rent without throes, to the severity of which his facial contortions bore witness whenever he attempted a witticism. Warned by them, I would sometimes admonish him--
"Mirth without vulgarity, Trewlove!"
"Yessir," he would answer, and add with a sigh, "it"s the best sort, sir-- _ad_-mittedly."
But if painful to him, this metamorphosis was torture to my nerves.
I should explain that, flushed with the success of _Larks in Aspic_, I had cheerfully engaged myself to provide the Duke of Cornwall"s with a play to succeed it. At the moment of signing the contract my bosom"s lord had sat lightly on its throne, for I felt my head to be humming with ideas. But affluence, or the air of the Cromwell Road, seemed uncongenial to the Muse.
Three months had slipped away. I had not written a line. My ideas, which had seemed on the point of precipitation, surrendering to some centrifugal eddy, slipped one by one beyond grasp. I suppose every writer of experience knows these vacant terrifying intervals; but they were strange to me then, and I had not learnt the virtue of waiting. I grew flurried, and saw myself doomed to be the writer of one play.
In this infirmity the daily presence of Trewlove became intolerable.
There arrived an evening when I found myself toying with the knives at dinner, and wondering where precisely lay the level of his fifth rib at the back of my chair.
I dropped the weapon and pushed forward my gla.s.s to be refilled.
"Trewlove," said I, "you shall pack for me to-morrow, and send off the servants on board wages. I need a holiday. I--I trust this will not be inconvenient to you?"
"I thank you, sir; not in the least." He coughed, and I bent my head, some instinct forewarning me.
"I shall be away for three months at least," I put in quickly.
(Five minutes before I had not dreamed of leaving home.)
But the stroke was not to be averted. For months it had been preparing.
"As for inconvenience, sir--if I may remind you--the course of Trewlove never did--"
"For three months at least," I repeated, rapping sharply on the table.
Next day I crossed the Channel and found myself at Ambleteuse.
II.
I chose Ambleteuse because it was there that I had written the greater part of _Larks in Aspic_. I went again to my old quarters at Madame Peyron"s. As before, I eschewed company, excursions, all forms of violent exercise. I bathed, ate, drank, slept, rambled along the sands, or lay on my back and stared at the sky, smoking and inviting my soul. In short, I reproduced all the old conditions. But in vain! At Ambleteuse, no less than in London, the Muse either retreated before my advances, or, when I sat still and waited, kept her distance, declining to be coaxed.
Matters were really growing serious. Three weeks had drifted by with not a line and scarcely an idea to show for them; and the morning"s post had brought me a letter from Cozens, of the Duke of Cornwall"s, begging for (at least) a scenario of the new piece. My play (he said) would easily last this season out; but he must reopen in the autumn with a new one, and--in short, weren"t we beginning to run some risk?
I groaned, crushed the letter into my pocket, and by an effort of will put the tormenting question from me until after my morning bath. But now the time was come to face it. I began weakly by asking myself why the d.i.c.kens I--with enough for my needs--had bound myself to write this thing within a given time, at the risk of turning out inferior work.
For that matter, why should I write a comedy at all if I didn"t want to?
These were reasonable questions, and yet they missed the point.
The point was that I had given my promise to Cozens, and that Cozens depended on it. Useless to ask now why I had given it! At the time I could have promised cheerfully to write him three plays within as many months.
So full my head was then, and so empty now! A grotesque and dreadful suspicion took me. While Trewlove tortured himself to my model, was I, by painful degrees, exchanging brains with him? I laughed; but I was unhinged. I had been smoking too many cigarettes during these three weeks, and the vampire thought continued to flit obscenely between me and the pure seascape. I saw myself the inheritor of Trewlove"s cast-off personality, his inelegancies of movement, his religious opinions, his bagginess at the knees, his mournful, pensile whiskers--
This would never do! I must concentrate my mind on the play.
Let me see--The t.i.tle can wait. Two married couples have just been examined at Dunmow, and awarded the "historic" flitch for conjugal happiness. Call them A and Mrs. A, B and Mrs. B. On returning to the hotel with their trophies, it is discovered that B and Mrs. A are old flames, while each finds a mistaken reason to suspect that A and Mrs. B have also met years before, and at least dallied with courtship. Thus while their spouses alternately rage with suspicion and invent devices to conceal their own defaults, A and Mrs. B sit innocently nursing their illusions and their symbolical flitches. The situation holds plenty of comedy, and the main motive begins to explain itself. Now then for anagnorisis, comic peripeteia, division into acts, and the rest of the wallet!
I smoked another two cigarettes and flung away a third in despair.
Useless! The plaguey thing refused to take shape. I sprang up and paced the sands, dogged by an invisible Cozens piping thin reproaches above the hum of the breakers.
Suddenly I came to a halt. Why _this_ play? Why expend vain efforts on this particular complication when in a drawer at home lay two acts of a comedy ready written, and the third and final act sketched out? The burden of months broke its straps and fell from me as I pondered. _My Tenant_ was the name of the thing, and I had thrust it aside only when the idea of _Larks in Aspic_ occurred to me--not in any disgust. And really, now, what I remembered of it seemed to me astonishingly good!
I pulled out my watch, and as I did so there flashed on me--in that sudden freakish way which the best ideas affect--a new and brilliant idea for the plot of _My Tenant_. The whole of the third and concluding act spread itself instantaneously before me. I knew then and there why the play had been laid aside. It had waited for this, and it wanted only this. I held the thing now, compact and tight, within my five fingers: as tight and compact as the mechanism of the watch in my hand.
But why had I pulled out the watch? Because the ma.n.u.script of _My Tenant_ lay in the drawer of my writing-table in the Cromwell Road, and I was calculating how quickly a telegram would reach Trewlove with instructions to find and forward it. Then I bethought me that the lock was a patent one, and that I carried the key with me on my private key-chain. Why should I not cross from Calais by the next boat and recover my treasure? It would be the sooner in my possession. I might be reading it again that very night in my own home and testing my discovery.
I might return with it on the morrow--that is, if I desired to return.
After all, Ambleteuse had failed me. In London, I could shut myself up and work at white heat. In London, I should be near Cozens: a telegram would fetch him out to South Kensington within the hour, to listen and approve. (I had no doubt of his approval.) In London, I should renew relations with the real Trewlove--the familiar, the absurd. I will not swear that for the moment I thought of Trewlove at all: but he remained at the back of my mind, and at Calais I began the process of precipitating him (so to speak) by a telegram advertising him of my return, and requesting that my room might be prepared.
I had missed the midday boat, and reached Dover by the later and slower one as the June night began to descend. From Victoria I drove straight to my club, and s.n.a.t.c.hed a supper of cold meats in its half-lit dining-room.
Twenty minutes later I was in my hansom again and swiftly bowling westward--I say "bowling" because it is the usual word, and I was in far too fierce a hurry to think of a better.
I had dropped back upon London in the fastest whirl of the season, and at the hour when all the world rolls homeward from the theatres. Two hansoms raced with mine, and red lights by the score dotted the n.o.ble slope of Piccadilly. To the left the street-lamps flung splashes of theatrical green on the sombre boughs of the Green Park. In one of the porticos to the right half a dozen guests lingered for a moment and laughed together before taking their leave. One of them stood on the topmost steps, lighting a cigarette: he carried his silk-lined Inverness over his arm--so sultry the night was--and the ladies wore but the slightest of wraps over their bright frocks and jewels. One of them as we pa.s.sed stepped forward, and I saw her dismissing her brougham. A night for walking, thought the party: and a fine night for sleeping out of doors, thought the road-watchman close by, watching them and meditatively smoking behind his barricade hung with danger-lanterns. Overhead rode the round moon.
It is the fashion to cry down London, and I have taken my part in the chorus; but always--be the absence never so short--I come back to her with the same lift of the heart. Why did I ever leave her? What had I gone a-seeking in Ambleteuse?--a place where a man leaves his room only to carry his writing-desk with him and plant it by the sea. London offered the only true recreation. In London a man might turn the key on himself and work for so long as it pleased him. But let him emerge, and--pf!--the jostle of the streets shook his head clear of the whole stuffy business.
No; decidedly I would not return to Madame Peyron"s. London for me, until my comedy should be written, down to the last word on the last page!
We were half way down the Cromwell Road when I took this resolution, and at once I was aware of a gathering of carriages drawn up in line ahead and close beside the pavement. At intervals the carriages moved forward a few paces and the line closed up; but it stretched so far that I soon began to wonder which of my neighbours could be entertaining on a scale so magnificent.
"What number did you say, sir?" the cabman asked through his trap.
"Number 402," I called up.
"Blest if I can get alongside the pavement then," he grumbled.
He was a surly man.
"Never mind that. Pull up opposite Number 402 and I"ll slip between.
I"ve only my bag to carry."
"Didn"t know folks was so gay in these outlyin" parts," he commented sourly, and closed the trap, but presently opened it again.
His horse had dropped to a walk. "Did you say four-nought-two?" he asked.
"Oh, confound it--yes!" I was growing impatient.
He pulled up and began to turn the horse"s head.
"Hi! What are you doing?"
"Goin" back to the end of the line--back to take our bloomin" turn," he answered wearily. "Four-nought-two, you said, didn"t you?"
"Yes, yes; are you deaf? What have I to do with this crowd?"
"I hain"t deaf, but I got eyes. Four-nought-two"s where the horning"s up, that"s all."
"The horning? What"s that?"
"Oh, I"m tired of egsplanations. A horning"s a horning, what they put up when they gives a party; leastways," he added reflectively, "_Hi_ don"t."