""We poets in our youth begin in gladness, But after come despondency and madness."
This is the way of the world with all who have n.o.bler feelings in them than will fit into its cold rules. Curse the world! what on earth had I to do with mixing myself up in it, and marrying a fine lady? Fool that I was! I might have known from the first that she could not understand me; that she would go back to her own! Let her go! I will forget her, and the world, and everything--and I know how!"
And springing up, he walked across to the druggist"s shop.
Years before, Elsley had tried opium, and found, unhappily for him, that it fed his fancy without inflicting those tortures of indigestion which keep many, happily for them, from its magic snare. He had tried it more than once of late: but Lucia had had a hint of the fact from Thurnall; and in just terror had exacted from him a solemn promise never to touch opium again. Elsley was a man of honour, and the promise had been kept.
But now--"I promised her, and therefore I will break my promise! She has broken hers, and I am free!"
And he went in and bought his opium. He took a little on the spot to allay the cravings of hunger. He reserved a full dose for the railway-carriage. It would bridge over the weary gulf of time which lay between him and town.
He took his second-cla.s.s place at last; not without stares and whispers from those round at the wild figure which was starting for London, without bag or baggage. But as the clerks agreed, "If he was running away from his creditors, it was a shame to stop him. If he was running from the police, they would have the more sport the longer the run. At least it was no business of theirs."
There was one thing more to do, and he did it. He wrote to Campbell a short note.
"If, as I suppose, you expect from me "the satisfaction of a gentleman,"
you will find me at ... Adelphi. I am not escaping from you but from the whole world. If, by shooting me you can quicken my escape, you will do me the first and last favour which I am likely to ask from you."
He posted his letter, settled himself in a corner of the carriage, and took his second dose of opium. From that moment he recollected little more. A confused whirl of hedges and woods, rattling stations, screaming and flashing trains, great red towns, white chalk cuttings; while the everlasting roar and rattle of the carriages shaped themselves in his brain into a hundred s.n.a.t.c.hes of old tunes, all full of a strange merriment, as if mocking at his misery, striving to keep him awake and conscious of who and what he was. He closed his eyes and shut out the hateful garish world: but that sound he could not shut out. Too tired to sleep, too tired even to think, he could do nothing but submit to the ridiculous torment; watching in spite of himself every note, as one jig-tune after another was fiddled by all the imps close to his ear, mile after mile, and county after county, for all that weary day, which seemed full seven years long.
At Euston Square the porter called him several times ere he could rouse him. He could hear nothing for awhile but that same imps" melody, even though it had stopped. At last he got out, staring round him, shook himself awake by one strong effort, and hurried away, not knowing whither he went.
Wrapt up in self, he wandered on till dark, slept on a doorstep, and awoke, not knowing at first where he was. Gradually all the horror came back to him, and with the horror the craving for opium wherewith to forget it.
He looked round to see his whereabouts. Surely this must be Golden Square? A sudden thought struck him. He went to a chemist"s shop, bought a fresh supply of his poison, and, taking only enough to allay the cravings of his stomach, hurried tottering in the direction of Drury Lane.
CHAPTER XXII.
FOND, YET NOT FOOLISH.
Next morning, only Claude and Campbell made their appearance at breakfast.
Frank came in; found that Valencia was not down: and, too excited to eat, went out to walk till she should appear. Neither did Lord Scoutbush come. Where was he?
Ignorant of the whole matter, he had started at four o"clock to fish in the Traeth Mawr; half for fishing"s sake, half (as he confessed) to gain time for his puzzled brains before those explanations with Frank Headley, of which he stood in mortal fear.
Mellot and Campbell sat down together to breakfast; but in silence.
Claude saw that something had gone very wrong; Campbell ate nothing, and looked nervously out of the window every now and then.
At last Bowie entered with the letters and a message. There were two gentlemen from Pen-y-gwryd must speak with Mr. Mellot immediately.
He went out and found Wynd and Naylor. What they told him we know already. He returned instantly, and met Campbell leaving the room.
"I have news of Vavasour," whispered he. "I have a letter from him.
Bowie, order me a car instantly for Bangor. I am off to London, Claude.
You and Bowie will take care of my things, and send them after me."
"Major Cawmill has only to command," said Bowie, and vanished down the stairs.
"Now, Claude, quick; read that and counsel me. I ought to ask Scoutbush"s opinion; but the poor dear fellow is out, you see."
Claude read the note written at Bangor.
"Fight him I will not! I detest the notion: a soldier should never fight a duel. His life is the Queen"s, and not his own. And yet if the honour of the family has been compromised by my folly, I must pay the penalty, if Scoutbush thinks it proper."
So said Campbell, who, in the over-sensitiveness of his conscience, had actually worked himself round during the past night into this new fancy, as a chivalrous act of utter self-abas.e.m.e.nt. The proud self-possession of the man was gone, and nothing but self-distrust and shame remained.
"In the name of all wit and wisdom, what is the meaning of all this?"
"You do not know, then, what pa.s.sed last night?"
"I? I can only guess that Vavasour has had one of his rages."
"Then you must know," said Campbell with an effort; "for you must explain all to Scoutbush when he returns; and I know no one more fit for the office." And he briefly told him the story.
Mellot was much affected. "The wretched ape! Campbell, your first thought was the true one: you must not fight that cur. After all, it"s a farce: you won"t fire at him, and he can"t hit you--so leave ill alone.
Beside, for Scoutbush"s sake, her sake, every one"s sake, the thing must be hushed up. If the fellow chooses to duck under into the London mire, let him lie there, and forget him!"
"No, Claude; his pardon I must beg, ere I go out to the war: or I shall die with a sin upon my soul."
"My dear, n.o.ble creature! if you must go, I go with you. I must see fair play between you and that madman; and give him a piece of my mind, too, while I am about it. He is in my power: or if not quite that, I know one in whose power he is! and to reason he shall be brought."
"No; you must stay here. I cannot trust Scoutbush"s head, and these poor dear souls will have no one to look to but you. I can trust you with them, I know. Me you will perhaps never see again."
"You can trust me!" said the affectionate little painter, the tears starting to his eyes, as he wrung Campbell"s hand.
"Mind one thing! If that Vavasour shows his teeth, there is a spell will turn him to stone. Use it!"
"Heaven forbid! Let him show his teeth. It is I who am in the wrong. Why should I make him more my enemy than he is?"
"Be it so. Only, if the worst comes to the worst, call him not Elsley Vavasour, but plain John Briggs--and see what follows."
Valencia entered.
"The post has come in! Oh, dear Major Campbell, is there a letter?"
He put the note into her hand in silence. She read it, and darted back to Lucia"s room.
"Thank G.o.d that she did not see that I was going! One more pang on earth spared!" said Campbell to himself.
Valencia hurried to Lucia"s door. She was holding it ajar and looking out with pale face, and wild hungry eyes.--"A letter? Don"t be silent or I shall go mad! Tell me the worst! Is he alive?"
"Yes."
She gasped, and staggered against the door-post.