Uchi no Meido wa Futeikei

Chapter 2

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Outsider, the Story of the Others

Squeeze squeeze. Squeeze squeeze.

As the bright white sheets and pillowcase, and the lovely feeling of a futon warmed by the light of the sun, envelop me gently, from somewhere fall off I feel the touch of a wobbly, Jell-O like substance against my cheeks. Something is gently squeezing me.

"Time to wake up, Master! Time to go!"

I can hear a voice calling me, from somewhere far away...

"Five more minutes..."

Standing before the gates of sleep, I move myself to begin climbing the Steps of Deeper Slumber to the Dreamlands, but I am interrupted by someone gripping my shoulders with great force, and in an instant I have been pulled from the paradise called my futon.

"Good morning, Master!"

"Morning, Miss Tekeli."

Making a fist from a big hand growing out of her hair, she gave me a thumbs-up.

Miss Tekeli"s tentacle-hands are squeezing my shoulders.

"Ah, it"s your head of hair... or hands of hair... yeah..."

I feel stupid even saying that. Someone take over for me, please...

"Up and about, Master? Breakfast is ready. Toast, sausages, scrambled eggs, and salad with j.a.panese lemon dressing!"

Miss Tekeli was beaming with pride. Making a fist from a big hand growing out of her hair, she gave me a thumbs-up. She was in a good mood that seemed to sparkle out loud.

"Great job. But before we do that, just one thing, Miss Tekeli."

"What is it, Master?" Her cheeks flushed red. What an odd reaction.

"Please let me down first. If you just leave me hanging like this, I won"t be able to get changed for breakfast."

"I"m very sorry, Master!"

Miss Tekeli"s face turned red again. When she wants to display emotion, she does a complete color change. Should I call this a real-life version of an MMORPG emote?

The hands of hair placed me gently down on top of my bed, as if handling something fragile.

"Please come down before breakfast gets cold!" The completely embarra.s.sed Miss Tekeli said this quickly and rushed down the stairs. I stretched out on the bed, slowly shaking off my drowsiness. Seems like today is going to be a good day.

Miss Tekeli"s breakfast was superb. She had guessed my timing for coming down the stairs, and the toast was just barely browned. I stacked the lettuce, sausage, and scrambled eggs on top of the toast to make an instant sandwich, a custom from my days of eating alone while reading a book. But of course, I don"t have the nerves of steel required to sink my face into a book while eating with someone facing me across the table.

The simple work of scarfing down a meal prepared for me by a maid. I"d be used to it if it were an everyday thing, but my life has no connection to that kind of aristocratic, royal lifestyle. I"m a common high school student who goes to school and spends two-thirds of every day looking at a desk.

The kitchen where we were taking our meal had been furnished with a whiteboard, something rarely seen in an ordinary household. Miss Tekeli had hurriedly ordered it from a home goods store, and written on the board, or on sheets of paper tacked to it, were things like rules for living together, how to contact me at school, and a manual for Miss Tekeli"s home life.

As my father seemed to have expected, there had been frustrating moments, but I, Tooru Araizawa, had been able to take the quite unusual Miss Tekeli and, after some days, make her part of my usual routine.

Even if she was actually a living slime, for the outside observer, it was as if a charming girl had come to live under my roof, so we had to decide on a number of rules. For example, when one of us entered the bathroom, we had to knock to confirm that there was n.o.body there. (And she does seem to use the bathroom.)

Or, for example, not to enter each other"s bedrooms without permission. If one of us thought the other was in there, knock first. Please.

These all seem like fairly straightforward rules for this kind of situation, but for the very specific case of this amorphous slime calling herself Tekeli-li-teke-teke-li-lu-tekeli-teke-li-la-lu-la-tekeli-teke-tekeli-li-lu-la-li-tekeli-li, and I who have been dubbed her "Master", there are three absolute commandments for living together without incident, which take precedence before all the other rules.

First Commandment. Thou shalt adopt a consistently human form, both inside and outside the house.

Second Commandment. Thou shalt not disa.s.semble or a.s.semble thyself where anyone other than Tooru Araizawa can see thee.

Third Commandment. Thou shalt not indiscriminately grow new hands or extend thy existing hands.

That"s basically it.

To be frank, the basis for these laws was the protection of my mental health. But I"m not just being selfish. As much as possible, I am trying to consider her desires to live as a human in society and learn more about humans.

If Miss Tekeli will continue to live here, there will be plenty of interesting things, stimulating things, fun things, and new things to learn. For Miss Tekeli, who has just begun to understand basic common knowledge for living in human society, so that she might not be seen strangely, and take in new experiences without reserve, these are some very necessary promises.

"... I"m so glad you thought so much about us, Master!"

I tried to explain this to her, and Miss Tekeli gave that reply, her emerald-green eyes glistening. This beautiful, amorphous girl, trying frantically to hold back her tears-- could there be anything more adorable!

"Master, it"s like you"re saying that we can just stay here. When we remembered the hardships we were put through by the Great Old Ones, it is as if our prayers to the Elder Sign for a gentler master have been answered!"

Saying this, Miss Tekeli clutched my printout of the Three Commandments to her chest.

"Dammit... too cute..."

"What is cute?"

The muttering that had gushed straight from my soul had reached Miss Tekeli"s ears. As if she didn"t understand the word, she tilted her head slightly, and her hand of hair made a "?" sign.

It seems like the subject here did not realize at all that this reaction was also extremely cute. Even if she understood the j.a.panese word "kawaii", perhaps she didn"t understand the general idea.

"Hm, are you saying that we are cute?"

Miss Tekeli tugged on my cheeks with both hands, giggling, "Eheheh!" Outstanding destructive force. She could melt permafrost. She tied my heart in a knot with the desire to protect her.

"Cute... I remember now. Your father did not teach us the meaning of this word. Master, you must teach us what is cute."

People, dogs, cats, and children, possess an innate appearance of being off guard. This is called "kawaii". It makes you want to pet them. It"s dangerous.

Finishing my breakfast, I got ready for school.

Actually, this would be my first time at school in a while. As a precaution for Miss Tekeli, I made up some reason and took off Thursday and Friday. My Golden Week had therefore inadvertently become four days longer. Not that it was entirely shocking to take two days off after the big vacation.

"Master will be at school during the day, so we can use that time for housework. We will make arrangements for dinner and wait for Master to come home."

Actually, since coming to high school, school has been the center of my life. Other times, like Sat.u.r.days, Sundays, holidays, winter and summer vacations, have been things I"ve thought about only when I get to them.

"Miss Tekeli, you don"t need to work all day long. I"d rather not have you go outside until you"re more used to life here, but if you want to take a nap or watch TV, you can use your time freely."

I put my cell phone number in the address book next to the black rotary phone that hung by the door, as well as on the whiteboard. Yes, the phone in our house was an old rotary dial phone, the kind seen primarily in retro-style restaurants and old black and white movies. It seems it had long been in my father"s house and you could use it without plugging it in. Because the phone lines worked even in a blackout, apparently it is popular these days not just as an antique but also for everyday use. In any case, Miss Tekeli would eventually need a cell phone, too. I added this to my mental to-do list.

"I taught you about phone etiquette yesterday, right? Anyway, you"ll learn through practice, but remember to be careful of sales calls and con artists."

"We understand, Master. The telephone is a useful device to get in touch with Master at a distance without using telepathy."

So she does have that ability after all. I wouldn"t want to hear messages in my head while I was at school. That"s a bullet dodged.

There are still some gaps in Miss Tekeli"s knowledge. To guarantee a peaceful and quiet lifestyle I always had to foresee what might happen next. But I can handle that. If anything I had gone overboard scrupulously explaining the devices and skills necessary for living in modern day j.a.pan. For Miss Tekeli, who was aching to know more about the outside world, any new information and knowledge would be tested out and applied pa.s.sionately.

"Well then, see you tonight, Miss Tekeli!"

Carrying my bento box which had been carefully wrapped in a napkin by Miss Tekeli, I slipped my feet into my gleaming polished shoes. Clearly this was also Miss Tekeli"s handiwork. As moving as the clean and sparkling shoes were, how exactly did Miss Tekeli employ her body to... no, I"m not going to think about that too hard.

"Wait a minute, Master!"

Just as I was about to open the door, I was stopped by Miss Tekeli"s voice. Before I had time to say "hmm?", I felt Miss Tekeli"s hand on my right side. At the limit of my vision I detected something squishy squirming around. I wanted to look, and then I didn"t want to.

"You"ve got some lint here, and your shirt isn"t well adjusted... there, that should do it. And you forgot this!"

Miss Tekeli pa.s.sed me an ironed handkerchief. As I slipped the handkerchief into the right pants pocket of my uniform, I heard Miss Tekeli say "Okay!", satisfied with my appearance.

"What time will you be coming back?"

Well...

I didn"t have after school sports, but I was a member of the library committee. I told them on the application that I was excited to volunteer for the library, so now I was able to request all the newly published books I wanted, a choice perfectly befitting both my interests and calculated material gain.

"I don"t have any duties today, so I should be back around five."

"Got it. We will complete our shopping by that time, and a light tea will be served on your arrival. We await your return, Master!"

Miss Tekeli sent me off with a deep bow.

I felt a little down to be returning to school after such a long break. But being sent off with such a lovely greeting as "We await your return!" reminded me that my unusual experiences were not going to end today, and put me in high spirits. Somehow I had the feeling that today was going to be the first day of a new adventure.

The Ninagawa ward of Tokyo where I live is wedged in between Shinagawa and Ota. It runs on a north-south line where the Misu River flows into Tokyo Bay, so many residents talk of the North Bank and the South Bank. The North Bank was rebuilt after the earthquake and the war to be centered around the train station, and now const.i.tuted the downtown area of the ward, with a movie theater and shopping center surrounding the station. The South Bank retained some features of the old Tokaido road from the early modern era, and the rice and fishing industries that used the Misu River could still be found along the banks, as well as the nostalgic sight of a shopping street made up of old longhouses. Both my house and my school were situated along this south bank.

I entered the cla.s.sroom 10 minutes before the beginning of homeroom, and was greeted with the ordinary sight of my cla.s.smates gossiping in small groups and fiddling with their cell phones. There was a definite sense of Monday morning in the air.

One month into our high school lives, people were starting to split apart based on their shared interests. The hard workers and the good-for-nothings were separating into their own groups.

"Hey."

Muttering a greeting to no one in particular, I dropped my book bag on top of my desk, which thanks to being the winner of the seat change lottery, stood in the back row second from the window. Since I preferred a minimum of changes in my boring everyday life, the person who returned this greeting was making a bit of intrusion into my s.p.a.ce, but one which I welcomed.

"Top of the morning, Tooru."

Today as always, hearing her unusual voice brought a pleasant sensation to my ears.

Next to my seat, in the cla.s.sroom"s best position in the back row next to the window, was a special individual. This was Asahi Peabody, a half-American student studying abroad in Tokyo.

Being raised abroad, she had a frank personality, and at times like this it brought out her good side. In between cla.s.ses she would leave the other girls behind, and boys who were enchanted by distinct appearance and and fashion model-type bodies found this too exciting.

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