LEIAI didn"t want to go back home. Not today, not ever. As soon as the bell rang, I knew it was impossible to stay. The professor bid us farewell and soon everyone was out of the cla.s.sroom. I wasn"t so enthusiastic.
Slowly, I put my stuff into my backpack, thinking how I would spend this week with Ammar. Life would be h.e.l.l. I had trouble breathing just thinking about it. Once my bag was full, I zipped it up and went on to wear my robe.
I was halfway through when the pocket of my robe vibrated. On instinct, I looked up and saw Zayn with his friends. They were all staring at me. Great. Now, they knew I kept my phone in my pocket.
I almost slapped myself, reminding myself that I"d turned off my bell and n.o.body could hear anything. They were probably staring for no reason. Boys. The vibration was really messing with my head, though. I put on an innocent face and continued to zip my jilbab.
"Hey, Zayn," I heard some random guy say, "You"re coming to the party tonight, right?"
Zayn was silent and I knew what he was busy doing. Staring holes into my head.
Zeeshan answered for him, "Of course, he"ll come. You throw the best parties, bro."
Party. I scoffed on the inside. G.o.d only knew what happened. There would be half-naked girls and they would probably throw themselves at Zayn. He might not refuse this time. I was saving myself for you. You promised, Leia.
I refused to feel guilty. Yes, I wanted to marry him. Yes, I promised. But my circ.u.mstances called on me to take a stand for myself. Could I have made better decisions? Yes. I went right into the hands of the devil and if I had any sense, if my mother hadn"t instilled any of that c.r.a.p in my head, I would"ve asked Zayn for help. He would"ve done anything for me—would still do anything for me, judging from the look in his eyes earlier—and I wouldn"t be indebted to him.
I closed my eyes on a wince. I was so naïve. So crazy to believe just anyone. Trust came at a heavy price, as I later learned.
"I"m not coming," Zayn grumbled. "You guys have fun."
"Seriously?" Random Guy shouted. "You"re not going to come?"
"That"s what I just said, didn"t I? Do you want me to repeat?" The whole room trembled at the thunderous voice as Zayn reminded everyone who he was. Dangerous. Scary. And at the moment, very angry.
"Uh n-no," He stuttered.
I heard a half-laugh from Anas as soon as the guy left the cla.s.sroom along with other boys.
"What"s funny?" Zayn did not sound amused. At all.
I hurried into my dressing and as soon as I was done, I took my bag and left. Once I was outside the gate, I took out my phone.
6 missed calls.
Ugh. Ammar.
I quickly dialed him back, knowing how much he"d complain about it later. What were you doing? Why don"t you ever pick up my calls?
He picked up on the first ring. "When I call, I expect an answer."
See? No greeting. No how are you.
After the night he"d given me, he should"ve asked how I was. But it"s not like it mattered. I wasn"t okay. I wasn"t even remotely fine.
"a.s.salaamualaik.u.m," I said—peace be upon you, not wanting to lose my manners just because he sometimes lost his. "I was in cla.s.s and we"re not allowed to keep phones."
He forced me to take mine in case he "needed" me.
"You weren"t here when I woke up," He sounded angry, like I was supposed to be there. "I wanted you here. I don"t know how many times I have to tell you, Ley Ley."
Gosh, that nickname. I hated it with my entire existence.
"I"m sorry," I somehow got out of my throat. "But I had school. I can"t miss school, you know. We have exams next week."
Next week when I"ll be free of your manacles and the pain you"ve caused. I immediately felt better when that thought struck me.
"You"re whining again. Just come home already."
I gritted my teeth at the insult as I walked towards my car—it was outside my gate before I woke up, along with a message from Zayn: I knew her number but I would"ve missed the chance of being your Knight in Shining Armour if you went home with her.
I tried not to smile as I thought about it. Guilt gnawed at me. I shouldn"t have spoken with him today. It was so wrong. And last night, I shouldn"t have taken a ride with him. I was losing my mind with regret.
I replied to Ammar as I unlocked my car. "I"ll be there in about half an hour."
"Fine,"
"Should I bring something for you? Anything you want to eat?"
"No, I want you to cook for me. You know how much I like your cooking."
I tried to feel happy at the compliment but it felt more like an insult coming from his mouth. It felt like he was saying: I want you to do all my work because you"re my servant.
It wasn"t just that he wanted me to cook because he liked my cooking. He wanted me to feel like I was beneath him. No doubt to make me realise that even the ingredients I bought were from his money. He felt like he owned me.
It just took me a long time to realise that all these compliments had an underlined meaning to them. My naïve, younger self would smile. I, however, did not.
I didn"t even reply. I was just so done with him.
"Babe?"
Again with the nickname.
"What?" My voice did not sound civil, even to my own ears.
"Are you p.i.s.sed at someone?"
I closed my eyes on a deep breath. At someone? Before I even realised, words were flying out of my mouth. "No, of course not. Everybody"s treating me so good. What could I possibly have to complain about?"
"Are you sure? If someone"s bothering you, I can deal with them, you know." Possessiveness stroked his every word. I inwardly recoiled.
"It"s nothing like that, Ammar. We"ll talk when I get back home. I can"t speak while driving."
"All right, babe. Bye."
Finally.