Unbreak Me

"It wasn"t your dad, honey," She tells me. She lies. Because I see the cascading scars on her arms and her face. I see the pain in her eyes.

Why are you so weak, I want to ask her. Why do you always let him get away with it? I want to go over and pull her into my arms. I want to protect my mother from the harm my father causes whenever he"s angry. But I know she hates affection. She never hugs me. Says it makes her feel uncomfortable.

Is it because I look so much like my father? Do I remind her of him?

She won"t ever have to see my face, then.

"I"ll deal with Dad," I tell her, clenching and unclenching my hands. "Pack your bags. You aren"t staying here anymore."

Someone shook me back into reality. I realised how profusely I was sweating. I knew my hands were shaking. When my eyes fell back to Leia"s arm, I felt the same urge to kill. But I was so disappointed.

"When did you become like this?" I knew my discontentment reflected in my voice.

Weak, I thought to myself. She"s weak just like her. She"s going to tolerate abuse just like her. She won"t tell anyone how her husband treats her just like her. And when one day she has a child, she"s going to neglect him just like her.

Her eyes filled with tears, because she knew what I meant. She lowered her eyes and for the first time, I had the urge to force her to look up at me. I wasn"t manipulated by her doe eyes. I just wanted her to have the courage to look into my eyes and see what she did to me. How she hurt me.

Instead, I dropped her wrist. Her chin wobbled and more tears fell from her eyes.

I looked up at the ceiling, raking a hand through my hand and huffed out a breath. "I never thought this would be you one day."

She sobbed. I heard the agony in her cries.

"You couldn"t talk to me about this, Leia? You couldn"t report to the police?" She still wouldn"t meet my eyes. "Come on, give me one excuse."

"I"m not her," she whispered instead, voice thick and gravelly with emotion. "I"m not like her, Zayn."

I gave a short, sullen laugh. "Really? Because it seems like history is repeating itself. It seems like you"re too weak to stand up for yourself. Too weak to tell him no."

That"s when she finally looked at me, her eyes burning with newfound fury. "You don"t know anything about me. Stop treating me like I"m her, Zayn. I came to you today. I came to ask for your help. He wasn"t like this before."

I don"t know if I can believe her. She was lying just two minutes ago. Plus, how could her husband suddenly become bad? No. I didn"t believe her at all. My past experiences didn"t let me take her word on it. My mother had lied about my father all the time.

I offered her a callous shrug. "How can I believe you?"

Her eyes tightened at the corners, lips pulled down lopsidedly. "I thought you said we were best friends. Best friends trust each other."

I nodded doubtfully. "How can I trust you when I can read the lies in your eyes; when I can tell there"s something you"re hiding from me."

It might have been a pang of inconspicuous, one-second guilt that flashed through her eyes but I saw it. So, she was still hiding something.

"If you can"t share everything, Leia, then I"m sorry. I can"t help you."

I would kill him either way but for this—whatever this was between the two of us—to survive, but she had to be one-hundred percent honest.

Her eyes pleaded with me. "I-I don"t know how to tell you this. I"m scared." Her teeth sunk into her full bottom lip. "I can"t leave Ammar, Zayn."

I couldn"t believe it! "For G.o.d"s sake, Leia. Why the h.e.l.l not?"

"He—it—um—" she stammered, expression wary. "I can"t tell you."

Oh, G.o.d. I was seriously losing my patience. "Leia, either you tell me now or I"m leaving."

She quickly moved away from the door, as if to say "go". s.h.i.t, this plan didn"t work.

Wait wait wait. The doctor. "Should I ask the doctor then? She seemed to know everything." I narrowed my eyes at her. "How did she know, anyway?"

She flushed. "Oh, that. She . . . um, examined me."

I raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "What led her to "examine" you?" I used air quotes.

Silence. I could hear the birds chirping outside.

She groaned. "Please, can we leave? We"ve already missed so much of our school. Are you sure they"d let us in at this time?"

I stared blankly at her. She was so not going to swerve the topic. I wasn"t letting it go. Not this time.

"I don"t know!" She burst out finally, throwing her hands up. "You expect me to tell you everything but you don"t understand! I can"t tell you." She blew out a breath and softened her expression, probably for my sake. "There"s nothing you can do, Zayn. I"m going to be married to him forever."

I wanted to shake her by her shoulders and bring her back to life. "Strapped to him, you mean? Does he hold your leash, Leia? Are you going to give everything up for him? Are you willing to risk your entire future for his sake? Huh?"

Her eyes were conflicting with emotions. "I don"t want—I don"t know, Zayn. I just don"t know anything anymore."

I took some time to think over it. It wouldn"t be difficult to get her out of this toxic relationship. They were illegally married, anyway. The thing was what would happen after.

Taking things to court in Pakistan meant rumours would soon be spreading and before we knew it, the whole school would be informed. Not to mention Anas"s father was a lawyer—the best in his field. I had easy access to him. But I didn"t want people to know about this. Didn"t want anyone to know that Leia was someone else"s.

G.o.d, this was going to eat me alive.

"What if I have a way to help you?"

I hated the hope that sparked in her eyes. I literally had no idea how to help her but I could figure something out. There had to be something.

"I might not be "legally" married to him, but we are married. You know in Islam—"

"You can get married after you hit p.u.b.erty. I know." I said, hands fisted into b.a.l.l.s by my sides. "But he manipulated you into marriage. And I"m not sure you had hit p.u.b.erty by eleven."

"Twelve," she corrected me. "And I had."

Great. She would have to get divorced. Anas"s father could keep a secret. But . . . something dawned on me just then.

"He"s the one who takes care of your finances," I breathed out. So, she had married for money. Something bad unfurled inside me. "And your family"s."

She kept silent.

I let out a humourless laugh. "Is that why you"ve been putting up with him for so long? Don"t give me s.h.i.tty excuses about your contract. That"s the real reason. You need his money." I had a strong urge to break something and I didn"t stop myself this time.

My fist connected with the gla.s.s encasing the cupboard and it snapped in half. I didn"t care about the burning sensation I felt in my hands. Neither did I care about Leia shouting my name. I was so tired of it all. So done with people who cared only about money. I would exchange everything I had for a peace of mind. For some contentment.

How could people sell themselves for piece-of-s.h.i.t money that only made life worse?

How could my Leia be like everyone else?

I trashed another vase to the floor, and another, and another. Until some of the rage inside me had ebbed and my hands were numb with pain.

"Zayn, please stop," Leia was full-on crying now, her shoulders shaking and her face buried in her hands.

I walked up to her, my gait surprisingly steady. I didn"t care about the rules, didn"t care that she would hit me. I just lightly touched her wrists, testing. When she didn"t protest, I encircled my hands over her bony wrists and forced down her hands from her face. I hated being the reason for her tears. I hated myself. I hated everyone.

But not her.

Never her.

No matter what she did.

My voice sounded dead even to my own ears. "If it"s money you"re after, then n.o.body can give you more than I can."

She froze. It was like the water in her eyes became ice. I let go of her hands and stepped back, opening my arms wide.

"Take everything, Leia. Just make this stop. Get my heart to stop. Please. I can"t take it anymore." Maybe I was crying too but not one cell inside my body cared.

She stared blankly at me for some time, just soaking it in. Then she nodded. Not once, not twice. She kept nodding.

"I was wrong, Zayn," she said, every contour of her face seemed to be carved in stone. "I should"ve known never to ask for your help."

And she cracked open the lock and walked out.

I stood there completely motionless. The door opened again and in she walked. Swerving around me, she fisted her clothes in one hand and dramatically walked out again.

I grimaced.

Outside, the doctor was shouting orders at her a.s.sistants. When she saw me, her eyes fell to my blood-coated hands.

I slapped a handsome bill in her hands. "Get your room fixed."