Drew stood in the center of the deck and watched his cousin leave, wondering how he could make things right with Alison and Kevin without making everything else infinitely worse in the process.
Alison looked at the clock above the kitchen stove for the umpteenth time and told herself she wasn"t nervous. Drew had made it perfectly clear how he felt about her. That should have been a relief considering a man was the last thing she needed in her life. He"d let her down easy; she should be thanking him instead of moping around the house like a teenager in the throes of her first breakup.
I think we ought to cool it for a while...
But his words stung. It didn"t take a rocket scientist to figure out he didn"t want her around, that he didn"t want Kevin around. She told herself it didn"t hurt, that the rejection hadn"t cut her deeply. But she knew it was a lie. Drew"s cool dismissal of her, of her son, had hurt plenty.
It had taken her most of the morning, but Alison had finally realized why her friendship with Drew wasn"t going to work. He was too caught up in the fact that she was Rick"s widow. It was obvious he had issues with that. Frankly, she did, too; there was nothing even remotely easy about any of this. But evidently her reluctance to get involved was to a much lesser degree. Because while Alison had been able to grieve and heal and move on with her life, Drew had not.
She wasn"t sure what to do about it. Maybe nothing, because she wasn"t sure those kinds of feelings could be fixed. All she could do was keep her distance and hope he would someday be able to put Rick"s death behind him. Maybe then she and Drew could be friends. But not now, she realized. Not now because for the first time since her husband had died, Alison was able to admit she wanted more. Evidently, more than Drew was ready to give.
Standing alone in her sunny kitchen the realization was no comfort whatsoever.
s.n.a.t.c.hing up the kitchen towel, she rubbed at a nonexistent smudge on the counter. She and Kevin would get along just fine without him, she a.s.sured herself. They"d gotten along without him for the past four years. They would continue getting along without him.
Maybe all the way from San Diego.
Alison didn"t want to move-she loved Emerald Cove-but she was considering San Diego. In fact, she"d already called the clinic there. They"d asked her to forward copies of Kevin"s medical records, which she would do first thing in the morning. The doctors had come very highly recommended. Her brother had even offered the extra bedroom in his house until she and Kevin could find a small house or apartment near the clinic.
Alison wasn"t proud of the fact that she"d chosen Emerald Cove over San Diego because of Drew. The snap decision was going to cost her plenty. Maybe even their friendship. She shouldn"t have let that happen. Now that he"d made his feelings clear-and she was so uncertain about her own-she figured the move would be best for everyone.
The doorbell rang three times in quick succession-Kevin"s trademark ring-and she knew he and Drew had arrived home from their fishing excursion. Setting the towel on the counter, Alison took a deep breath and headed toward the door. She could hear Kevin laughing and smiled, but at the same time felt a profound moment of sadness. Her son cared for and respected Drew so much. It hurt knowing she would be taking that away from him. On the other hand, if she didn"t put an end to their budding relationship now, Kevin could end up getting hurt. He didn"t need any more losses in his young life. Frankly, neither did she.
Alison opened the door to find Kevin and Drew standing on her porch with big grins and sunburned faces beneath sweat-stained caps. She looked down at her son and thought she"d never seen him look so utterly adorable.
"Mommy! You shoulda seen the fish I caught!" He stretched his arms as wide as they would go. "It was this big! It was so big Drew had to get out the net and help me reel him in."
"Wow," she said, impressed despite herself.
"Fourteen-pound grouper," Drew put in.
"Yeah! A groucher!"
"That"s grouper, sprout."
"It sounds like the fishing mission was a success." When she could no longer put it off, Alison finally looked at Drew. He gazed back at her steadily with an inscrutable expression. She sensed him holding back. It seemed he was always holding back, she thought, and the realization only strengthened her resolve about the move to San Diego.
"I need to talk to you," Drew said evenly.
Her heart gave a couple of hard raps against her ribs before she willed it to slow. From his tone, she sensed he wanted to talk to her privately, away from the sensitive ears of her son. Just what she needed: a lecture from Drew on all the reasons he wanted to "cool it."
Kneeling, she tugged on Kevin"s T-shirt. "How about a hug for your mom?"
Grinning from ear to ear, Kevin threw his arms around her.
"Did you have a good time?" she asked.
"Yeah! I wanna do it again tomorrow."
She chuckled. "You smell a little fishy."
"Do not!"
Easing him to arm"s length she touched the tip of his nose with her finger. "And you"re sunburned, too."
"It doesn"t hurt."
"Are you hungry?"
"Yeah. Hey, maybe Drew can stay for dinner, Mommy! Wouldn"t that be great?" He squirmed away from her. "Drew, do you want to stay for dinner?"
Alison closed her eyes briefly, then glanced over at Drew. "Drew probably has things to do, honey." Gently grasping Kevin"s shoulders, she guided him toward the bathroom. "Let"s get you into the tub and scrub that fishy smell off you while I whip up some dinner, okay?"
Kevin made a halfhearted attempt to escape the horrors of bath time, but in the end Alison got him into the tub with his mini jet ski and a boatload of bubbles. Leaving the door open so she could hear him, she walked into the living room to find Drew standing near the door, looking out through the front window.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked.
He turned to her, but he wasn"t smiling. In fact, he didn"t even look friendly. "Kevin thinks I don"t want you here in South Florida. That"s c.r.a.p, Alison, and you know it."
She felt the words as if he"d struck her. "I don"t know why he would think something like-"
"He overheard you talking to your sister."
Remembering the conversation she"d had with Kimberly, Alison turned away from him, not wanting him to see the quiver of pain that ran the length of her. "I didn"t realize he"d overheard."
"Yeah, well, he did and he"s upset. I"d appreciate if you"d set the record straight. I don"t want that boy thinking I don"t want him here."
No, she thought, it would be her job to break the news to him. "I"ll talk to him."
"What"s this about your moving to San Diego?"
Alison needed a moment to catch her breath, but he wasn"t cooperating. "There"s a clinic in San Diego," she said. "I told you about it."
"You told me you had decided to settle down here."
She stared at him, wondering if she really wanted to get to the heart of the matter. If she wanted to put that much of herself on the line. Or if they were both better off just letting it go. "Look, Drew, some things happened between us. I didn"t plan it, but it happened nonetheless." Feeling at a loss, she shrugged. "You made your position perfectly clear."
"I made it clear that I didn"t want to get involved with you. That doesn"t mean I don"t want to be your friend. That doesn"t mean I don"t want to be a friend to Kevin. Or that I don"t want both of you around."
"Maybe this isn"t about what you want."
"Can you stand there and tell me moving to San Diego is what you want?"
A dozen responses tangled in her throat, but she couldn"t bring herself to speak any of them. How could she relay what was in her heart without making an utter fool of herself? "I"ll talk to Kevin and explain this to him as best I can. It"s going to be difficult, considering I don"t quite understand it myself."
"I care about you, Alison. I care about Kevin." His jaw flexed with tension. "That"s all I can give right now. That"s got to be enough."
She didn"t say anything.
He stared hard at her, his expression incredulous and unhappy. "I have to go," he said and reached for the doork.n.o.b.
She didn"t want to leave things the way they were. "What are you running from, Drew?"
"Don"t go there, Alison."
"Or should I ask from whom?"
He opened the door, then stepped onto the porch. "Tell Kevin I said goodbye," he said and walked away.
CHAPTER ELEVEN.
The subtropical sun beat down on Drew"s back with the merciless heat of a branding iron. Shirtless, he could practically hear his skin sizzling. Sweat gathered between his shoulder blades and dripped ungracefully onto the waistband of his denim cutoffs. The bandanna he"d tied around his head did little to keep the sweat from his eyes. But he was barely aware of the discomfort as he concentrated on the waxing mitt and the stretch of sheet metal in front of him. He polished with the determination of a man with something on his mind. Something he needed badly to forget.
He was finally doing what he"d been putting off all summer: waxing the Grumman. He usually hated that kind of work. It was hot and dirty and physically exhausting. But for the first time in a long time, Drew needed the distraction.
It had been two days since he"d seen Alison. Two h.e.l.lish days since he"d set foot in her cozy home or touched her satin skin or breathed in the scent of her. Two days since he"d seen her little boy or heard his laugher.
d.a.m.n it to h.e.l.l, he missed them both.
He"d thought of her every waking hour since he"d last seen her. Worse, he dreamed of her at night. Dreams that left him sweating and aroused and frustrated as h.e.l.l. He"d never wanted a woman so badly in his entire life. His body and his intellect had never been more at odds. He told himself a hundred times that avoiding her was the right thing to do. But for the life of him he couldn"t figure out why doing the right thing felt so wrong.
He wanted her.
He couldn"t have her.
And there wasn"t a d.a.m.n thing he could do about it.
Drew told himself things were better this way. Alison was better off without him. h.e.l.l, Kevin was better off without him. They deserved happiness. Alison deserved a man who would love her and respect her and be a good father for Kevin. Someone without the kind of crippling baggage Drew had been dragging around like a ball and chain for the last four years.
The rumble of thunder contrasted sharply with the hot sun beating down on him. Wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, Drew looked up to see a dark line of thunderheads roiling over the Everglades to the northwest. Heat lightning flashed like a strobe, and he knew the storms would arrive within the hour. As far as he was concerned they couldn"t get here fast enough. He"d had enough of the heat and grime for one day. A quick shower and he was off for a drink at Crazy Nellie"s. Maybe he"d watch the storms roll in from his favorite bar stool. Maybe he"d indulge in a little meaningless conversation, a couple of laughs and a lot of rum.
The bar used to be the one place he could go for peace of mind. Recently, however, a pretty blonde with Caribbean blue eyes and a very sweet little boy seemed to be following him there, too.
The crunch of tires against gravel drew his attention. He looked toward the parking lot to see Seth"s BMW pull up next to his truck. Drew frowned. Usually, he enjoyed the occasional visit from his cousin. On this particular afternoon, he didn"t much feel like company. Alison was working for Seth now, and Drew knew his cousin well enough to know her name would come up in their conversation. Frankly, he didn"t want to talk about her. d.a.m.n it, he didn"t.
Knowing there was no way to avoid his cousin, Drew set the wax mitt down and capped the tub of wax. He was climbing down the stepladder from the wing where he"d been working when Seth looked up at him and whistled.
"She"s looking good," Seth said.
Drew stepped off the ladder and set the mitt and tub of wax on his rollaway. "Needed a good wax."
"You picked a h.e.l.l of day to do it. Hot as h.e.l.l."
"Yeah, well, a little sweat never hurt anyone." Frowning because Drew knew his cousin was just stubborn enough to make him ask, he put his hands in his pockets and bit the bullet. "How"s Alison working out at the office?"
"She"s working out great. Sharp as a whip. Organized. Overqualified as h.e.l.l." He paused. ""Course she had to leave early this afternoon. Some kind of emergency with her son."
Concern hit him like a fist right between his eyes. "What? What happened?"
Seth cut him a sharp look. "Kevin had some kind of asthma attack while he was at day care."
Drew felt the words like a shocking cold pail of ice water tossed into his face. "And you didn"t see fit to call me?"
"I might have if you"d answer your d.a.m.n phone."
Drew swore. "How long ago?"
"About an hour and a half. I thought you might want to know. On the outside chance you wanted to crawl out of your sh.e.l.l of self-pity and go see them."
Without saying a word, Drew grabbed his discarded T-shirt and started for his truck a few yards away. Vaguely, he was aware of Seth behind him, muttering something unbecoming about his parentage, but he didn"t turn around to defend himself. After the way Drew had treated Alison and Kevin, he figured he had it coming.
He wasn"t sure what he was going to do. Find Alison. Make sure Kevin was okay. He"d figure out the rest of it once he had them in plain sight and knew everything was going to be all right.
Holding that thought, he climbed into his truck and headed for the hospital.
Alison didn"t like hospitals. The hushed atmosphere and antiseptic smells made her feel claustrophobic. She supposed she"d spent too many worried hours in rooms just like this one in the last few years to hold anything but disdain for the sterile offices and stark white walls and doctors who seemed to speak in code.
She thought of Kevin"s attack and lowered her head to rub at the headache pounding behind her brows. There was no horror in the world she could compare to seeing her child gasping for breath and weak from lack of oxygen. Every time she closed her eyes she saw the way he looked: his brown eyes filled with frightened tears, his body straining for every breath, his lips turning blue. She couldn"t get the image out of her head.
She"d received the call at just after noon from the Happy Hippo Day-care Center where she"d enrolled Kevin in preschool. He"d complained of a tight chest, the coordinator had told her, so they"d pulled him from his play group. A few minutes later he"d started wheezing. By the time they got Alison on the phone, his lips were turning blue, so they"d called an ambulance. Alison had told them to have him taken to the Waterton Clinic, which was just a few minutes away from the day-care center.
She barely remembered the drive to the clinic. A higher authority must have been looking out for her because she broke every speed limit and blew through half a dozen red lights along the way. She"d arrived to find Kevin in the emergency room, looking incredibly small atop the examination table. He"d lifted his little head and looked at her, and her heart had simply broken. He"d been crying-the asthma attacks frightened him terribly-but she could tell he was trying very hard to be brave. Then he"d smiled at her through the oxygen cup that had been placed over his nose and mouth, and it had taken all her willpower not to fall to pieces.
She"d hovered like a nervous hen while the doctor examined him and administered medication. She told Kevin how brave he was and tried valiantly not to cry herself. After the examination, the doctor announced to her that Kevin was going to be fine, though he wanted to put him in a room and observe him for a few more hours, just to make sure he tolerated the stronger medication without any ill effects. If all remained well, she could take him home at the end of the shift.
Once Kevin was settled in a room and the doctor had left, Alison climbed onto the bed and held him until he fell asleep. She"d held him and cried and thanked G.o.d for keeping an eye on her little boy while she"d been at work.
That had been nearly two hours ago. Kevin was still sleeping soundly, but Alison had left the bed and stood staring out the window, feeling more exhausted than she"d ever felt in her life. Rain and wind pelted the windows and sent the palm fronds skittering against the gla.s.s. Even though it was still early, the room had grown dark, but she hadn"t bothered to turn on the light.
"How is he?"
Alison spun, a dozen emotions pulling her in different directions at the sound of Drew"s voice. He stood in the doorway, silhouetted against the bright light coming in from the hall. Her heart did a slow roll at the sight of his broad shoulders and lean hips. Shadows obscured his face, but she could tell he was looking toward the bed where Kevin slept. She told herself she wasn"t pleased to see him. That she hadn"t been feeling small and frightened and incredibly alone. That she hadn"t been secretly hoping he would come.
Drew didn"t wait for her to answer. He strode over to the bed and flipped the switch next to the bed, turning on the indirect lighting. For the first time she realized he must have driven directly over to the clinic from Water Flight Tours. He was wearing cutoffs, an old T-shirt with sleeves cut off and a blue bandanna tied around his head. He looked hard and tanned and incredibly male as he set his hand against her son"s cheek then leaned down to kiss him.
The sight moved her so profoundly that for several long seconds she couldn"t find her voice. When she finally did, it was thready and high. "He had a really bad attack at the day-care center today."