"He"s all right?" he asked again.
"The doctor said he"s going to be fine. They changed his medication. They want to watch him for a few hours and then I"m allowed to take him home."
His eyes moved from Kevin to her. "I"m glad he"s okay. When I heard..." His voice trailed.
"How did you find out?"
"Seth came by the marina." He tilted his head slightly as if to get a better look at her. "You holding up okay?"
She nodded, then choked out a laugh. "Only a few days on the job, and I run out of the office screaming."
"Seth has that effect on the people who work for him."
She laughed, feeling lighter than she had all day. "I should call him."
"Seth can wait until tomorrow."
"I barely gave him an explanation."
"He figured it out." When she still didn"t relent, he added, "Besides, the afternoon is shot." He shoved his hands into his pockets and for several minutes the only sound came from the buzz of the lights and the rain against the windows. "Do you want to go get a cup of coffee or something?"
Alison looked over at her son"s sleeping form. He looked so small and helpless lying in that bed. She knew it was silly, but she didn"t want to leave him.
As if noticing her reluctance, Drew said, "I could bring some back."
"No, I"ll walk with you. There"s a waiting area down at the end of the hall," she said. "It"s not too far and there"s a coffee machine."
He waited by the door while she kissed Kevin"s cheek and picked up her purse. Her heart was pounding when she crossed to him. "You didn"t have to come," she said.
"I came because I wanted to."
She gave him a sad smile. "He asked about you."
Drew wasn"t exactly sure when that little boy had come to mean so much to him, but he did. He meant a h.e.l.l of a lot more than Drew had ever intended. More than he was comfortable with. He wasn"t sure how he felt about that. Wasn"t sure how he was going to deal with it.
"Come on," he said. "Coffee"s on me."
Because he was an EMT, Drew was usually comfortable in just about any type of medical environment. The Waterton Clinic, however, was different. It was a small, twenty-eight bed facility that catered to sick children, most with serious asthma or some type of allergy-related malady. He didn"t like it when children got sick. In all the years he"d been an EMT, that got to him more than anything else.
The nurses" station at the end of the hall was brightly lit. But several offices they pa.s.sed along the way to the waiting area were darkened and quiet. As he and Alison made their way toward the coffee machine, Drew could hear the b.u.mp of the food cart as it was wheeled from room to room. He could smell the food being served, hear the clink of silverware and the cheerful voices of the late afternoon food service nurse trying hard to raise the spirits of her young charges. They pa.s.sed a room where the sound of a blaring TV emanated through the open door. Inside, a little boy around eight years old watched cartoons, laughing from within his oxygen tent.
On reaching the waiting area, Drew went to the hot beverage machine, fed coins into a slot and bought two cups of coffee. Alison stood at the floor-to-ceiling window as if watching the storm beyond. The overhead fluorescents cast harsh white light onto her face, and for the first time since arriving he was able to get a good look at her. Signs of heavy-duty stress were etched into her every feature. Tension formed a crease between her usually smooth brows. Her face was colorless. He could see the tracks of tears on her cheeks and realized she"d been crying at some point. But even disheveled and worried, she was still the most beautiful woman he"d ever laid eyes on. He knew it was crazy, but he wished he could have been there for her.
"You look like you could use this," he said, handing her one of the cups.
"That bad, huh?"
"I figure if your shoulders get any more tense you might dislocate one."
"I hear that"s pretty painful. Good thing you"re an EMT."
"I"m pretty good at working out kinks, too." He set down his coffee. "Come here."
She gave him a wry smile, making no move to get any closer. "I think we"ve made that mistake before."
He smiled back, relieved that the crease between her brows had smoothed out. "Okay." He thought about his own stress level and realized he needed to get something off his chest. "I owe you an apology."
Her eyes met his. Within their depths he saw fatigue and wariness pulling her in different directions. "No, you don"t," she said after a moment.
"I practically mauled you the other night, then I said something cruel. I shouldn"t have done either of those things. I"m sorry."
"What you said needed to be said. Better to say it now than later."
Drew suddenly got a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"You kept me from doing something both of us probably would have ended up regretting," she said. "Don"t apologize for that."
"Alison-"
"Things got intense," she interrupted. "If they"d gone any further, I think it would have affected our friendship. I don"t want that to happen."
"That"s not-"
She cut him off. "You can"t have it both ways, Drew."
"Both ways?"
"You can"t...come on to me and then change your mind when things suddenly get too hot to handle."
"This isn"t about me changing my mind."
"Really? What would you call it?"
For the first time, his temper stirred. "Look, I didn"t plan for anything to happen between us."
"Neither did I," she snapped. "All I know is that I don"t understand what"s going on with you, and you don"t see fit to discuss it with me."
"Maybe I"m still trying to sort some of this out."
"I can"t deal with your angry moods. I can"t be close to you one moment, then have you shove me away the next because you feel you need that in order to have a clear conscience."
"This has nothing to do with my conscience."
"The h.e.l.l it doesn"t." Her eyes flashed like heat lightning. "I can"t tell if you"re lying to me or if you"re lying to yourself."
"I"m not lying to anyone."
"You"ve never dealt with Rick"s death."
"Rick doesn"t have anything to do with this."
"How can you stand there and lie to yourself? How can you stand there and lie to me when the truth is so obvious?"
He couldn"t deny it, so he switched tactics. "This isn"t the time or the place to discuss this."
"That"s because you"d rather ignore it and hope it goes away. Well, I can"t do that. Not anymore." She turned to walk away. "I"ll tell Kevin you stopped by to see him."
Drew knew it wasn"t a good idea to touch her when her emotions were running so high, when his own were on the rise with the dangerous swiftness of a flash flood. But he reached for her anyway. His fingers curled around her biceps, and he turned her to face him.
"I"m trying to do the right thing," he ground out.
"You"re trying to protect yourself," she shot back. "Don"t get the two confused."
Another ripple of anger jolted him. "I"m trying to protect you."
"From what?"
"From me, d.a.m.n it."
"I don"t need protecting. Especially from you."
Realizing they"d caught the attention of an older couple watching a television set mounted on the wall, Drew took her by the arm and started down the hall.
"What do you think you"re doing?" she demanded, fighting him halfheartedly.
"We"re going to talk about this," he snapped. "That"s what you wanted, isn"t it?"
"Let go of me, d.a.m.n it."
He opened the door to a darkened examination room and quickly muscled her inside. Once he closed the door behind him, he swung around to face her. "Let"s get one thing straight right now," he snarled.
She finally succeeded in breaking free of his grasp, and for several long minutes they contemplated each other, the only sound coming from their heavy breathing and the patter of rain against the window.
"I care about you, Alison. I care about Kevin."
"I guess that"s why you think we should cool it."
"I think we should cool it because I was your husband"s best friend, d.a.m.n it! How can I-" He stopped himself an instant before he said something he didn"t want to reveal.
"You can"t want me one moment," she whispered, "then decide it"s wrong the next and tell me you only want to be friends."
"Do you think that"s the way I want it?" he asked, incredulous. "I didn"t mean for things to get out of hand the other day."
"Which time?"
He stared at her, aware that he was angry and frustrated and more confused than he"d been in a very long time.
"I don"t know what you want," she said. "I"m not even sure you know what you want. One minute you"re hot, the next you"re Mr. Iceman. I can"t deal with that."
"My feelings for you, Alison, are the only thing I"m sure about. It"s everything else that"s s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g with my head."
"Look, Drew, I think Kevin and I should move to San Diego," she said. "I have a brother there. Roger said Kevin and I could move in with him temporarily." She looked down at the floor. "I came here to South Florida because...of you. Because of our friendship. I thought..." Her voice trailed and she shrugged. "I don"t know what I thought."
The idea of her and Kevin moving so far away elicited a moment of panic. He couldn"t believe she would do that to him. That she would ask him to choose between his feelings for her and her son, and his honor.
The truth of the matter was that he didn"t want her to leave. But no matter how desperately he wanted to be with her, he couldn"t ask her to stay. His conscience wouldn"t let him.
"I don"t know what you want," she whispered. "I can"t read your mind. I don"t know what you"re feeling inside. And you won"t tell me."
The need came like a flash flood barreling down a narrow gorge. The familiar rush of blood to his groin. The rapid rise of heat. The faltering of his intellect.
He started toward her, knowing what he was about to do was a mistake. But like a man drawn to fire, he couldn"t stop himself, even though he knew he would be burned. Her eyes widened when his hands closed over her shoulders. An electrical shock ran the length of him the instant he touched her and he felt it all the way down to his toes. Her mouth opened. He heard his name on her lips, but couldn"t tell whether she wanted him to stop or proceed. He didn"t pause long enough to consider either of those things and crushed his mouth to hers.
She offered a stunned moment of resistance. A small sound of distress escaped her, but he deepened the kiss and swallowed the sound. He tried to penetrate her with his tongue, but she locked him out with her teeth.
"This is what I want," he whispered against her cheek. "This. You. Like this." He ran his tongue along her teeth. "Let me in, Alison."
She opened to him, and he kissed her deeply, felt the rush of her breath against his cheek. Her body arched, then melted in his arms like chocolate in the hot sun. He marveled at the feel of her against him. The curves of her body. The tremors moving through her as he slid his hands down her back to cup her hips. Her scent surrounded him; he drank it in. The softness of her flesh maddened him, and he knew he had to have more. Plunging his tongue into the dark, silky heat of her mouth, he let go of his control with a silent curse.
Dizziness swamped him, as if he"d mainlined a mind-altering drug. Pleasure spread through his body like a wildfire burning out of control. Vaguely he was aware of her arms going around his neck. Arousal pulsing through his body with every beat of his heart. The throb of his erection straining against the confines of his cutoffs.
When he moved against her, the ridge of his arousal aligned with the cleft between her legs. Her body arched, as if she"d been hit with a thousand volts of electricity. He felt the same bolt of electricity jump through him, and the heat of it seared him like a brand.
Drew knew he was out of control. Knew she was out of control, too, even if she wouldn"t admit it. He knew his inability to stop this was going to cost him. Maybe her friendship. Maybe the tentative relationship he"d formed with her son. But the needs rampaging through him trampled the voice of reason.
Tugging her blouse from the waistband of her skirt, he lifted it over her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. He saw pink lace against white flesh and the dark hue of her areoles beneath. As if reading his mind, she put her fingers to the front closure and the sc.r.a.p of material opened. l.u.s.t cut through him like a jagged edge at the sight of her b.r.e.a.s.t.s. Bending slightly, Drew took a hardened peak into his mouth and suckled her hard, laving the engorged tip with his tongue. Alison writhed beneath his manipulations, her breaths coming hard and fast against his ear.
Drew jolted when he felt her hands at his zipper. Because he was already close to losing control, he tried to turn away. But his reflexes were slow. Vaguely he heard the rasp of his zipper. Then her fingers closed around him and a starburst of ecstasy exploded and his brain simply stopped functioning. Closing his eyes against the intensity of the pleasure, he groaned and moved against her.
"Alison..."
"This is insane."
"I"m crazy for you."
"Drew," she whispered. "How can you deny that we"re more than just friends?"
The words jerked him back to reality, like a bungee jumper reaching the end of a very long cord. Drew shook himself hard, keenly aware that he was painfully aroused, that he didn"t want to stop. But there was no way he could live with himself if he let this go any further.
Sighing in frustration and disappointment and self-loathing, he stepped back and turned away. "Oh, man."
While she hooked her bra and tucked in her blouse, he zipped his fly and tried like h.e.l.l to ignore the painful ache in his groin-and the heavier ache in the vicinity of his heart.
For several long seconds the only sound came from their heavy breathing and the ping of rain against the window. He risked a look at her. She looked like a woman who"d just been thoroughly kissed. A woman he would have sold his soul to kiss again. A woman he wanted to do a h.e.l.l of a lot more to than kiss.
The weight of what he"d allowed to happen yet again settled onto his shoulders like a boulder. Without saying anything, he started for the door.
"Don"t you dare walk away from me again," she snapped.