I wrote to Ellen Watson that morning, and soon received a rapturous acceptance of my invitation. She would be delighted to come to the cottage and to look after my poor people.
"I am very much stronger," she wrote, "but I must not go back to the hospital for two months: a breath of country air will be delicious, and it is so good of you, my dear Miss Garston, to think of me. I am sure Mrs. Barton will make me comfortable, and I will do all I can for poor Janet Coombe and that dear little burnt child."
I showed Mr. Hamilton the letter, and while he was reading it Chatty brought me word that Uncle Max was waiting to speak to me.
"If you like to go down to him I will wait here until you come back," he said; and I was too glad to avail myself of this offer, for Gladys seemed more suffering and restless than usual. I found Max walking up and down the drawing-room. As he came forward to meet me his face looked quite old and haggard.
"I am glad you have not kept me waiting, Ursula. I sent up that message in spite of Leah"s telling me that you never left the sick-room."
"Leah is wrong," I replied coolly. "Mr. Hamilton insists on my going in the garden for at least half an hour daily, while Chatty takes my place.
I cannot stay long, Max, but all the same I am glad you sent for me."
"I felt I must see you," he returned, rather huskily. "Letters are so unsatisfactory; but it was good of you to write, always so kind and thoughtful, my dear." He paused for a moment as though to recover himself. "She is very ill, Ursula?"
"Very ill."
"How gravely you speak! Are things worse than you told me? You do not mean to tell me there is absolute danger?"
"Oh no; certainly not; but it is very sad to see her in such a state. Her nerves have quite broken down; all these three years have told on her, and there seems some fresh trouble on her mind!"
"G.o.d forbid!" he returned quickly.
"Ay, G.o.d forbid, for He alone knows what is burdening the mind of this young creature: she is too weak to throw off her nervous fancies. She blames herself for harbouring such gloomy thoughts, and it distresses her not to be able to control them. The night is her worst time. If we could only conquer this sleeplessness! I have sad work with her sometimes."
I spared Max further particulars: he was hara.s.sed and anxious enough.
I would not harrow up his feelings by telling him how often that feeble, piteous voice roused me from my light slumbers; how, hurrying to her bedside, I would find Gladys bathed in tears, and cold and trembling in every limb, and how she would cling to me, pouring out an incoherent account of some vague shadowy terror that was on her.
There were other things I could have told him: how in that semi-delirium his name, as well as Etta"s, was perpetually on her lips, uttered in a tone sometimes tender, but more often reproachful, sometimes in a very anguish of regret. Now I understood why she dreaded Etta"s presence in her room: she feared betraying herself to those keen ears. Often after one of these outbursts she would strive to collect her scattered faculties.
"Have I been talking nonsense, Ursula?" she would ask, in a tremulous voice. "I have been dreaming, I think, and the pain in my head confuses me so: do not let me talk so much." But I always succeeded in soothing her.
If I read her secret, it was safe with me. I must know more before I could help either her or him. If she would only get well enough for me to talk to her, I knew what to say; and I did all I could to console Max.
But I could not easily allay his anxiety or my own; it was impossible to conceal from him that she was in a precarious state, and that unless the power of sleep returned to her there was danger of actual brain-fever; in her morbid condition one knew not what to fear. Perfect quiet, patience, and tenderness were the only means to be employed. As I moved about the cool, dark room, where no uneasy lights and shadows fretted her weakened eyes, I could not help remembering the comfortless glare and the hot, pungent scents that Miss Darrell had left behind her. Most likely she had rustled over the matting in her silk gown, and her hard, metallic voice had rasped the invalid"s nerves. Doubtless there was hope for her now in her brother"s skilful treatment, and when I told Max so he went away a little comforted.
CHAPTER x.x.xIX
WHITEFOOT IS SADDLED
After the first day or so the strangeness and novelty of my position wore off, and I settled down to my work in the sick-room.
Chatty waited upon us very nicely; but Miss Darrell never came near us.
Once a day a formal message was brought by Chatty asking after the invalid. I used to think this somewhat unnecessary, as Mr. Hamilton could report his sister"s progress at breakfast-time.
When I encountered Miss Darrell on my way to the garden I always accosted her with marked civility; her manner would be a little repelling in return, and she would answer me very coldly. In spite of her outward politeness, I think she was a little afraid of me at that time. I always felt that a concealed sneer lay under her words. She made it clearly understood that she considered that I had forced myself into the house for my own purposes. Under these conditions I thought it better to avoid these encounters as much as possible.
I saw Uncle Max two or three times. He had timed his visits purposely that he might join me in my stroll in the garden. We had made the arrangement to meet in this way daily. Max"s society and sympathy would have been a refreshment to me, but we were obliged to discontinue the practice. Max never appeared without Miss Darrell following a few minutes afterwards. She would come out of the house, brisk and smiling, in _grande toilette_,--to take a turn in the shrubberies, as she said.
Max would look at me and very soon take his leave. At last he told me dejectedly that we might as well give it up, as Miss Darrell was determined that he should not speak to me alone: so after that I contrived to send him daily notes by Chatty, who was always delighted to do an errand in the village.
"I can"t think what makes Miss Darrell so curious, ma"am," the girl once said to me. "She asks me every day if I have been down to the vicarage.
She did it while master was by the other afternoon, and he told her quite sharply that it was no affair of hers."
"Never mind that, Chatty."
"Oh, but I am afraid she means mischief, ma"am," persisted Chatty, who had a great dislike to Miss Darrell, which she showed by being somewhat pert to her, "for she said in such a queer tone to master, "There, I told you so: now you will believe me," and master looked as though he were not pleased."
As I strolled round the garden in Nap"s company I often saw Leah sitting sewing at her mistress"s window: she would put down her work and watch me until I was out of sight. I felt the woman hated me, and this surveillance was very unpleasant to me. I never felt quite free until I reached the kitchen-garden.
Mr. Hamilton visited his sister"s room regularly three times a day. He never stayed long: he would satisfy himself about her condition, say a few cheerful words to her, and that was all.
His manner to me was grave and professional. Now and then, when he had given his directions, he would ask me if there were anything he could do for me, and if I were comfortable: and yet, in spite of his reserve and guarded looks and words, I felt an atmosphere of protection and comfort surrounding me that I had not known since Charlie"s death.
Every day I had proofs of his thought for me. The flowers and fruits that were sent into the sick-room were for me as well as Gladys. I was often touched to see how some taste of mine had been remembered and gratified: sometimes Chatty would tell me that master had given orders that such a thing should be provided for Miss Garston; and in many other ways he made me feel that I was not forgotten.
For some days Gladys continued very ill; she slept fitfully and uneasily, waking in terror from some dream that escaped her memory. I used to hear her moaning, and be beside her before she opened her eyes. "It is only a nightmare," I would say to her as she clung to me like a frightened child; but it was not always easy to banish the grisly phantoms of a diseased and overwrought imagination. The morbid condition of her mind was aggravated and increased by physical weakness; at the least exertion she had fainting-fits that alarmed us.
She told me more than once that a sense of sin oppressed her; she must be more wicked than other people, or she thought Providence would not permit her to be so unhappy. Sometimes she blamed herself with influencing Eric wrongly: she ought not to have taken his part against his brother. ""He that hateth his brother is a murderer." Ursula, there were times, I am sure, when I hated Giles." And with this thought upon her she would beg him to forgive her when he next came into the room.
He never seemed surprised at these exaggerated expressions of penitence: he treated it all as part of her malady.
"Very well, I will forgive you, my dear," he would say, feeling her pulse. "Have you taken your medicine, Gladys?"
"Oh, but, Giles, I do feel so wretched about it all! Are you sure that you really and truly forgive me?"
"Quite sure," he returned, smiling at her. "Now you must shut your eyes, like a good child, and go to sleep." But, though she tried to obey him, I could see she was not satisfied: tears rolled down her cheeks from under her closed eyelids.
"What is it, my darling?" I asked, kissing her. "Do you feel more ill than usual?"
"No, no; it is only this sense of sin. Oh, Ursula, how nice it would be to die, and never do anything wrong again!" And so she went on bemoaning herself.
I had thought it better to move her into Lady Betty"s room. It was a large square room opening out of the turret-room, and very light and airy. I had a little bed put up for my use, so that I could hear her every movement. I told Mr. Hamilton that I could not feel easy to have her out of my sight; and he quite agreed with me.
In the daytime we carried her into the turret-room. The little recess formed by the circular window made a charming sitting-room, and just held Gladys"s couch and an easy-chair and a little round table with a basket of hot-house flowers on it. Mr. Hamilton declared that we looked very cosy when he first found us there.
In the cool of the evening, when Gladys could bear the blind raised, it was very pleasant to sit there looking down on the little oak avenue, where the girls had set their tea-table that afternoon: we could watch the rooks cawing and circling about the elms. Sometimes Mr. Hamilton would pa.s.s with Nap at his heels and look up at us with a smile. Once a great bunch of roses all wet with dew came flying through the open window and fell on Gladys"s muslin gown. "Did Giles throw them? Will you thank him, Ursula?" she said, raising them in her thin fingers. "How cool and delicious they are?" But when I looked out Mr. Hamilton was not to be seen.
Lady Betty wrote very piteous letters begging to be recalled, which Mr.
Hamilton answered very kindly but firmly. He told her that Gladys required perfect quiet, that if she came home she would not be allowed to be with her; and when Lady Betty heard that I was nursing her she grew a little more content.
Gladys was always more restless and suffering towards evening; "her bad thoughts," as she called them, came out like bats in the darkness. I tried the experiment of singing to her one evening, and I found, to my delight, that my voice had a soothing influence: after this I always sang to her after she was in bed: I used to take up my station by the window and sing softly one song after another, until she was quiet and drowsy.
As I sang I always saw a dark shadow, moving slowly under the oak-trees, pacing slowly up and down; sometimes it approached the house and stood motionless under the window, but I never took any notice.
"Thank you, dear Ursula," Gladys would say when I at last ceased; "I feel more comfortable now." And after a time I would hear her regular breathing and know she was asleep. I shall never forget the relief with which I watched her first natural sleep: she had had a restless night, as usual, but towards morning she had fallen into a quiet, refreshing sleep, which had lasted for three hours.
I had finished my breakfast when I heard her stirring, and hurried in to her; to my delight, she spoke to me quite naturally, without a trace of nervousness: