This little piece of ill-tempered artifice bore excellent fruit, for before I had nearly finished the piece of plain sewing I had set myself as a sort of penance, there was a tap at the door, and Sara came in, looking very excited, with her bright eyes full of wonder.
"Oh, Ursula, there is such a fuss downstairs! Uncle Max has been telling us all about your absurd scheme. Mother is as cross as possible; she is so angry, and yet half crying at the same time."
"And Uncle Brian," I exclaimed eagerly,--"what does he say?"
"Oh, you know father"s way. He just smiled as though the whole thing were beneath his notice, and went on reading his paper, and when mother appealed to him he said, coolly, that it was none of his business or hers either if Ursula chose to make a fool of herself; she had the right to do so,--something like that, you know."
"How very pleasant!" I remarked satirically, for I hated the way Uncle Brian put down his foot on things that displeased him. I preferred Aunt Philippa"s voluble arguments to that.
"To make things worse," went on Sara cheerfully, "Mrs. Fullerton and Lesbia have come in, and mother and Mrs. Fullerton are trying which can talk the faster. Lesbia asked for you, and then did not speak another word. What shall you do, Ursula, dear?"
"I shall just go down and ask Aunt Philippa for a cup of tea," I returned coolly, folding up my work. Sara looked half frightened at my boldness, and then she began to laugh.
"It is so absurd, you know," she returned, linking her arm in mine affectionately. "What ever put such nonsense in your head? you are so comfortable here with us, and you have your own way, and I never tease you now about going to b.a.l.l.s. It is so silly of you trying to make yourself miserable, and living in poky lodgings. You might as well be a fakir, or a dervish, or a Protestant nun, or anything else that is unpleasant."
"My dear, you do not know anything about it," I answered rather angrily.
"You and I are different people, Sara; we shall never think the same about anything."
"Well, I don"t know," she returned, half affronted: "when people try to be extra good I always find they succeed in making themselves extra disagreeable. It is far more religious, in my opinion, to be pleasant to every one, and make them believe that there is something cheerful in life, instead of pulling a long face and doing such dreadfully bad things." And after this little fling, in which she tried to be very severe, only as usual her dimples betrayed her, she begged me quite earnestly to smooth my hair, as though I were breaking one of the commandments by keeping it rough; and, having obliged her in this particular, and allowed her to peep at her own pretty face over my shoulder, we went down to the drawing-room as though we were the best of friends.
It was impossible to quarrel with Sara; she was as gay and irresponsible as a child; one might as well have been angry with a b.u.t.terfly for brushing his gold-powdered wings across your face; the gentle flappings of Sara"s speeches never raised a momentary vexation in my mind. I was often weary of her, but then we do weary of children"s company sometimes; in certain moods her bright sparkling effervescence seemed to jar upon me: but I never liked to see her sad. Sadness did not become Sara; when she cried, which was as seldom as possible, and only when some one died, or she lost a pet canary, all her beauty dimmed, and she looked limp and forlorn, like a crushed b.u.t.terfly or a draggled flower.
I do not think I was quite as cool and unconcerned as I wished to appear when I marched into the drawing-room, and, after greeting Mrs. Fullerton and Lesbia, asked Aunt Philippa for a cup of tea.
Quite a hubbub of voices had struck on my ear as I opened the door, and yet complete silence met me. Lesbia, indeed, whispered "Poor Ursula" as I kissed her, but Mrs. Fullerton looked at me with grave disapproval. Aunt Philippa was sitting bolt upright behind the tea-tray, and handed me my cup, rather as Lady Macbeth did the dagger. I received it, however, as though it were my due, and glanced at Uncle Max; but he was too wise to look at me, so I said, as coolly as possible, "Why are you so silent, and yet you were talking loudly enough before Sara and I came into the room?"
For there is nothing like taking the bull of a dilemma by the horns; and I had plenty of, let us say, native impudence, only, personally, I should have given it another name; and then, of course, I brought the storm upon me.
Sara was right. Aunt Philippa certainly talked the faster; Mrs. Fullerton tried her best to edge in a word now and then,--a very scathing word, too,--but there was no silencing that flow of rapid talk. I quite envied her pure diction and the ingenious turn of her sentences; she made so much of her own admirable foresight and care of me, and so little of my merits.
"I always said something like this would happen, Ursula. I have told your uncle often,--Brian, why don"t you speak?--yes, indeed, I have told him often that I never met any one so strong-minded and self-willed. You need not laugh, Sara,--unless you do it to provoke me,--but I have been like a mother to Ursula. Thank heaven, my daughters are not of this pattern!
they do not mistake eccentricity for goodness, or flaunt ridiculous notions in the faces of their elders."
This was too bad of Aunt Philippa; only she had lost her temper, and was feeling utterly aggrieved, and Mrs. Fullerton, who was a meddlesome, good-humoured woman, and who had nothing of which to complain in life except a little over-plumpness and too much money, was agreeing with her like a good neighbour and friend.
Uncle Max was smiling, and pulling his beard behind his paper; but he made no attempt to check the flow of feminine eloquence. He had said his say like a man, and had taken my part behind my back, and he knew women were like new wine,--very sound and sweet, but they must find their vent.
Aunt Philippa would be kinder ever after if we let her scold us properly, and took our scolding with a good grace.
Once or twice Uncle Brian let his eye-gla.s.ses dangle, and spoke a peevish word or two.
"Nonsense, my dear! have I not said over and over again that this is none of our business? Ursula is old enough to know her own mind; if she chooses to be eccentric we cannot hinder her. All this talk goes for nothing."
"Ah, but, Mr. Garston, young people want guidance," observed Mrs.
Fullerton impressively, for Aunt Philippa was beginning to sob, partly from the effects of wasted eloquence, and perhaps with a little shortness of breathing: anyway, her anger was working itself out. "If you were to advise Ursula as you would Sara, your influence might induce her to change her mind."
"I cannot endorse your opinion, Mrs. Fullerton," returned Uncle Brian drily. "I am far too keen an observer of human nature to think we can talk sense to deaf ears with any benefit.--Ursula, my child," turning to me with a smile that might have been kinder, but perhaps he meant it to be so, "there is not a grain of sense in your scheme: in spite of Cunliffe"s eloquence, it will not hold water; in fact, in a little while you will be glad to come back to us again. When you do, I think I can promise that we will not laugh at you more than once a day, and then moderately."
Now, this speech of Uncle Brian"s made me very angry. No doubt he meant to be kind, and to show me that if my scheme failed I might come home to them again; but I was so much in earnest that his satire and his laughing at me hurt me more than all Aunt Philippa"s hard speeches. So I flushed up, and for the first time tears came into my eyes; for he had prophesied failure, and I could not bear that, and I might have said words in my sudden irritation for which I should have been sorry afterwards, only Lesbia, who had sat behind me all this time, as silent and soft-breathed as a mouse, got up quickly and took my hand and stood by me.
"I think you have all said plenty of hard things to Ursula, and no one has been kind to her. I think she deserves praise and not all this blame; if she cannot lead the comfortable life we do, thinking how we are to get the most pleasure and enjoy ourselves, it is because she is better than we are, and thinks more about her duty. Mrs. Garston,--I do not mean to be rude, I am far too fond of you all, because you have all been so good to me,"--and here Lesbia"s while throat swelled,--"but I cannot bear to hear Ursula so blamed. Mr. Cunliffe, I know you agree with me, you said so many nice things when Ursula was out of the room."
This little burst of eloquence surprised us all. Uncle Max said afterwards that he was quite touched by it. Lesbia was generally so quiet and undemonstrative that her words took Aunt Philippa by storm. She might have been offended by Lesbia saying that I was better than the rest of them,--a fact that my conscience most emphatically contradicted; but when Lesbia kissed her, and begged her to think better of things, she cried a little because Charlie was not there to see how pretty she could look, and then cheered up, and made overtures that I might come and kiss her too, which I did most willingly, and with a full heart, remembering she was my father"s sister and had been good to me according to her lights.
When Uncle Max saw that reconciliation was imminent, and that by Lesbia"s help I was likely to have the best of it, my own way, and a good deal of petting to follow,--for they would all make more of me during the short time I would be with them,--he threw down his paper in high good-humour and joined us.
"That is what I call sensible, Mrs. Garston," he said, paying her a compliment at once, as she sat flushed and fanning herself, "and Ursula ought to feel herself very grateful to you for your forbearance and acquiescence in her plan."
I do not believe he knew any more than myself where the forbearance had been, but he took it all for granted.
"Nothing puts heart into a person more than feeling sure of one"s friends" sympathy. Now, we all of us, even Garston, in spite of his disapproval, wish Ursula good success in her scheme; some of us think better of it than others; for my own part, I am so convinced that she will have so many difficulties and disappointments to hamper her that I cannot bear to say a discouraging word." And yet he had said dozens, only I was magnanimous and forgave him.
This settled the matter, for Aunt Philippa grew so sorry for me that she was almost out of breath again pitying me. "I do not believe she can help it," she said, in rather an audible aside to Mrs. Fullerton; "her mother had a sort of craze about these things, and seemed to think it part of her religion to make herself uncomfortable; and poor Herbert was quite as bad, only he was a clergyman, and it did not matter so much with him; so I suppose the poor child inherits it. This sort of thing runs in families," went on Aunt Philippa, in an awe-struck voice, as though it were a species of insanity. "I am only thankful that my own girls have not got these notions."
Mrs. Fullerton found out now that it was time to go home and dress for dinner, so Lesbia came round to me and whispered that I must come and see her soon, for she wanted to talk to me, and not to Sara, who was always running in and out.
"I am very fond of Sara, and like to see her, she amuses me so; but when I want advice or sympathy I feel I must come to you now, Ursula." And though she had never said so much to me before, I knew she meant it; that there was some change in her, some want of nature or heaven knows what feminine need, when she missed me, and wanted me, and found some comfort in the thought of me.
There was no time for more discussion, and indeed we were all a little weary of it; but after dinner Uncle Max, who seemed in excellent spirits, as though he had done something wonderful and was proud of his own achievements, beckoned me into the inner drawing-room under pretence of showing me some engravings, and when we found ourselves alone, he said pleasantly, though abruptly--
"Well, Ursula, I thought you would be glad to have an opportunity of thanking me, for of course you feel very grateful to me for all the trouble I have taken."
"Oh, indeed!" I returned scornfully, for it would never do to encourage this vainglorious spirit. "I should have felt more disposed to thank you if you had not kept me for two days in suspense!"
"That is the result of doing a woman a good turn," shaking his head mournfully. "The moment she gets her own way, she turns upon you and rends you. Fie, fie on you, little she-bear!"
"Oh, Max, do be quiet a moment."
"Max, indeed! Where are your manners, child? What would Garston say if he heard your flippancy?" But by the way he stroked his beard and looked at me, I saw he was not displeased. No one would have taken him for my uncle who had seen us together, for he was a young-looking man, and I was old for my age.
"I do want you to be serious a moment," I went on plaintively. "I am really very obliged to you for having broken the ice: after all, I have not been badly submerged. I soon rose to the surface when Lesbia held out a helping hand."
"Well, now, Ursula, do you not agree with me?--was not Lesbia a darling?"
"She was very nice and sisterly," I confessed. "She has more in her than I ever thought. Poor little thing! I am afraid she is very unhappy, only she hides it so."
"Just so. That shows her good sense: the world is very intolerant of a protracted grief; its victims must learn to dry their eyes quickly."
Uncle Max was becoming philosophical: this would never do.
"Never mind about Lesbia," I observed impatiently, "we can talk about her in the next room; what I want to know is, how soon I may come to Heathfield." For I knew how dilatory men can be about other people"s business, and I fully expected that Uncle Max would put me off to the summer.
"You may come as soon as you like," he returned, rather too carelessly.
"Shall we say next week, or will that be too early?"
I suppressed my astonishment cleverly, but was down on him in a moment.
"I should like to have some place found for me first," I remarked sententiously; "you must take lodgings for me first, and then I can settle my plans."
"Oh, that is done already," he observed cheerfully. "I have spoken to Mrs. Barton about you, and she has very nice rooms vacant. I wanted them for Tudor, until I mooted the vicarage plan. It is a tidy little place, Ursula, and I think you will be very comfortable there."