"Why, you are a regular pie-man yourself; aren"t you?" laughed Simple Simon, as he ate one of Nurse Jane"s nice jam tarts.
"Well, you might call me that," said the bunny uncle. "Though I s"pose a tart-man would be nearer right."
"But there"s something else," went on Simple Simon. "You know in the Mother Goose book I have to go for water, in my mother"s sieve. But soon it all ran through." And then, cried Simple Simon, "Oh, dear, what shall I do?" And he held out a sieve, just like a coffee strainer, full of little holes. "How can I ever get water in that?"
he asked. "I"ve tried and tried, but I can"t. No one can! It all runs through!"
Uncle Wiggily thought for a minute. Then he cried:
"I have it! I"ll pull some leaves off the rubber plant I am taking to Mrs. Wibblewobble. We"ll put the leaves in the bottom of the sieve, and, being of rubber, water can"t get through them. Then the sieve will hold water, or milk either, and you can bring it to your mother."
"Oh, fine!" cried Simple Simon, licking the sticky squeegee jam off his fingers. So Uncle Wiggily put some rubber plant leaves in the bottom of the sieve, and Simple Simon, filling it full of water, carried it home to his mother, and not a drop ran through, which, of course, wasn"t at all like the story in the book.
"But that isn"t my fault," said Uncle Wiggily, as he took the rest of the jam tarts to the Wibblewobble children. "I just had to help Simple Simon." Which was very kind of Uncle Wiggily, I think; don"t you? It didn"t matter if, just once, something happened that wasn"t in the book.
And Mrs. Wibblewobble didn"t at all mind some of the leaves being off her rubber plant. So you see we should always be kind when we can; and if the canary bird doesn"t go to sleep in the bowl with the goldfish, and forget to whistle like an alarm clock in the morning, I"ll tell you next about Uncle Wiggily and the crumple-horn cow.
CHAPTER XIV
UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE CRUMPLE-HORN COW
"Where are you going, Uncle Wiggily?" asked Nurse Jane Fuzzy Wuzzy, the muskrat lady housekeeper, as she saw the rabbit gentleman starting out from his hollow-stump bungalow one day. He was back again from his visit to Sammie and Susie Littletail.
"Oh, I"m just going for a walk," answered Mr. Longears. "I have not had an exciting adventure since I carried the valentines for Jack and Jill, before they tumbled down hill, and perhaps to-day I may find something else to make me lively, and happy and skippy like."
"Too much hopping and skipping is not good for you," the muskrat lady said.
"Yes, I think it is, if you will excuse me for saying so," spoke Uncle Wiggily politely. "It keeps my rheumatism from getting too painful."
Then, taking his red, white and blue striped rheumatism crutch from inside the talking machine horn, Uncle Wiggily started off.
Over the fields and through the woods went the rabbit gentleman, until, pretty soon, as he was walking along, wondering what would happen to him that day, he heard a voice saying:
"Moo! Moo! Moo-o-o-o-o!"
"Ah! That sounds rather sad and unhappy like," spoke the rabbit gentleman to himself. "I wonder if it can be any one in trouble?"
So he peeked through the bushes and there he saw a nice cow, who was standing with one foot in the hollow of a big stump.
"Moo! Moo!" cried the cow. "Oh, dear, will no one help me?"
"Why, of course, I"ll help you," kindly said Uncle Wiggily. "What is the matter, and who are you?"
"Why, I am the Mother Goose cow with the crumpled horn," was the answer, "and my foot is caught so tightly in the hole of this stump that I cannot get it out."
"Why, I"ll help you, Mrs. Crumpled-horn Cow," said Uncle Wiggily, kindly. Then, with his rheumatism crutch, the rabbit gentleman pushed loose the cow"s hoof from where it was caught in the stump, and she was all right again.
"Oh, thank you so much, Uncle Wiggily," spoke the crumpled-horn cow.
"If ever I can do you a favor I will."
"Thank you," said the rabbit gentleman, politely. "I"m sure you will. But how did you happen to get your hoof caught in that stump?"
"Oh, I was standing on it, trying to see if I could jump over the moon," was the answer.
"Jump over the moon!" cried the rabbit gentleman. "You surprise me!
Why in the world----"
"It"s this way, you see," spoke the crumpled-horn lady cow. "In the Mother Goose book it says: "Hi-diddle-diddle, the cat"s in the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon." Well, if one cow did that, I don"t see why another one can"t. I got up on the stump, to try and jump over the moon, but my foot slipped and I was caught fast.
"I suppose I should not have tried it, for I am the cow with the crumpled horn. You have heard of me, I dare say. I"m the cow with the crumpled horn, that little Boy Blue drove out of the corn. I tossed the dog that worried that cat that caught the rat that ate the malt that lay in the house that Jack built."
"Oh, I remember you now," said Uncle Wiggily.
"And this is my crumpled horn," went on the cow, and she showed the rabbit gentleman how one of her horns was all crumpled and crooked and twisted, just like a corkscrew that is used to pull hard corks out of bottles.
"Well, thank you again for pulling out my foot," said the cow, as she turned away. "Now I must go toss that dog once more, for he"s always worrying the cat."
So the cow went away, and Uncle Wiggily hopped on through the woods and over the fields. He had had an adventure, you see, helping the cow, and later on he had another one, for he met Jimmie Wibblewobble, the boy duck, who had lost his penny going to the store for a cornmeal-flavored lollypop. Uncle Wiggily found the penny in the snow, and Jimmie was happy once more.
The next day when Uncle Wiggily awakened in his hollow-stump bungalow, and tried to get out of bed, he was so lame and stiff that he could hardly move.
"Oh, dear!" cried the rabbit gentleman. "Ouch! Oh, what a pain!"
"What is it?" asked Nurse Jane. "What"s the matter?"
"My rheumatism," answered Uncle Wiggily. "Please send to Dr. Possum and get some medicine. Ouch! Oh, my!"
"I"ll go for the medicine myself," Nurse Jane said, and, tying her tail up in a double bow-knot, so she would not step on it, and trip, as she hurried along, over to Dr. Possum"s she went.
The doctor was just starting out to go to see Nannie Wagtail, the little goat girl, who had the hornache, but before going there Dr.
Possum ran back into his office, got a big bottle of medicine, which he gave to Nurse Jane, saying:
"When you get back to the hollow-stump bungalow pull out the cork and rub some on Uncle Wiggily"s pain."
"Rub the cork on?" asked Nurse Jane, sort of surprised like.
"No, rub on some of the medicine from the bottle," answered Dr.
Possum, laughing as he hurried off.
Uncle Wiggily had a bad pain when Nurse Jane got back.
"I"ll soon fix you," said the muskrat lady. "Wait until I get the cork out of this bottle." But that was more easily said than done.
Nurse Jane tried with all her might to pull out the cork with her paws and even with her teeth. Then she used a hair pin, but it only bent and twisted itself all up in a knot.
"Oh, hurry with the medicine!" begged Uncle Wiggily. "Hurry, please!"