..... fuuh, uh.
After closing the book, I limply placed the book on the top of the table.
Even though it was just that kind of movement, my whole body was attacked by dull pain.
Day after day the pain became worse.
Secluded inside the castle for quite some time, I was searching for the information relevant to that I desired inside this innumerable book collection.
How many days has pa.s.sed since today?
Counting while checking over the hand of the clock, counting the time I had spent reading the books for nee-san.
For me to count those thing .... I stopped midway.
.... Not good. Perhaps recently, my memories became quite bad.
My mental abrasion is extreme. Different from the past, I only sat on the chair and spent my time reading books. After all,
the time when I immersed myself in reading and forgotten about time, is surely not little.
Furthermore ..... in the middle of the reading, it ended up that I didn"t think about unnecessary things while reading.
Relaxing my body, I took a deep breath.
Leaning my back on the chair, I waited for the pain to calm down.
At the time when I was tidying up the mountain that piled up on top of the table, I heard the voice of the door opening from my back.
Without turning my back, I already knew who it is.
After all, there"s only one person who lived inside this castle excluding me.
Hina .... good morning.
She rubbed her eyes, nee-san walked towards me.
In her hand, a book with a splendid decoration on it.
She was holding the book that she wants me to read it to her right now.
Though she has read a lot kind of genre, but among those, it seems that she especially loved the one called 『Story』.
Heroes tale, love drama, ghost story and so on.
Those are the many works made by people with full of imagination, which were fresh and fun.
The book that nee-san is holding right now, is one of those books.
While she pesters me to read it for her, nee-san hold out the book to me...
even while making a bitter smile I receive the book ..... coincidentally, I touched her toe.
At that moment, *swish*, I felt discomfort.
However, it suddenly disappeared in an instant, and only leave a question for me.
That just now, what was that?
Though I incline my head, I was unable to understand the true ident.i.ty of that discomfort that has already disappeared.
....... Well, let"s leave it alone.
Even while leaving the swelling inside my chest alone, I put away that question into the corner of my head and started to read the book that she gave to me.
-------- *thud*
The sound of the book that I was done reading, resounded inside the silent room of the library.
Perhaps it was so much enjoyable for her, nee-san was in a good mood.
I return the book to the bookshelf, then I started to walk towards nee-san who was sitting on the top of the table and was rocking her legs.
Nee-san extended her hand toward me.
It was white like porcelain, a hand that hold beauty that didn"t have any feeling of life.
I just like move to accept that hand.
The nee-san"s figure which was smeared in blood, flashed in my eyes.
*Smack* ......... ! (TL to ED : the sound of hitting someone"s hand ... any better sfx? )
What in the world did I just do, I cannot immediately grasp it.
Several seconds pa.s.sed, I realized that I flicked away the hand that nee-san held out for me.
...... eh?
The voice that leaked out, was it mine or onee-san"s.
My head was in a complete mess to the extent I cannot understand a thing.
Me, why, why?
Why did I do that to nee-san"s hand.
She also didn"t understand, looking at me with eyes of misbelieve.
In the end, while shaking her head silently.
Again, she extended her hand to me.
*Smack*!
That hand, was once again flicked away reflectively.
why? how?
I don"t know, I don"t know, I don"t know.
Nee-san who was rejected by me for the second time, retracted her hand and put it onto her chest.
Dumbfoundedly, she stayed at that spot.
ah .......... aah, uaah ............
A sobbing sound came out from the deep of her throat, her ruby like eyes were wavering.
Her doll-like expression was crumbling down, nee-san raised her voice then she started crying.
I made her ..... cry?
me, to this person ?
I can"t even think about what should I do, promptly I tried to reach out for her shoulder.
However, just before my fingers touch her, my hand stopped, it didn"t want to move any more than that.
So, for the first time, I noticed the true sense of the discomfort that I felt before.
That"s 『Negative feeling』
fear, avoidance, disgust.
The feelings that I hold towards nee-san, were negative emotion.
I was then hit by a feeling like nausea, unconsciously I fell down to my knees.
In front of me , nee-san was crying.
However, her appearance right now is overlapped with that time when she was standing in the middle of the sea of blood that day.
I totteringly moved away from nee-san who was still sobbing.
That action of mine, even I myself even cannot comprehend it.
Immediately after that, I feel as if my whole body was gonna be eaten, I was attacked by pain that"s different from the pain that I felt before.
Without being able to raise a voice, I collapsed.