..... is this, is the really the best thing I wonder?
I ran away from the castle, making lost fang as a replacement for a cane I walking through the forest.
While I am already this far, I have thought of such a thing.
However, if I stayed close to that person, before long I will be broken.
From love, and hatred.
In reality, there was a really thin line between us who embraced those two seemingly conflicting emotions.
That person"s smile which was directed at me, was really lovely.
That person who would easily rob a people"s life with one swoop of her nail, was hateful that I will go mad because it.
And then each of them, day by day the emotion only grew stronger.
The feeling that has already exceeded the limit that my heart can hold was already spilling over, and started to pain me.
For me, who didn"t even have any power to hold out from that pain.
But then the only way for me to save myself, was no other way than to be separated from that person.
However.
So far it even made nee-san sad.
For her who I hate so much that I felt the chill all over my body, and love her the same amount.
She wanted to keep me to the extent of shredding tears because it.
In the end, do something like『 ME 』..... really did have any value to be protected like that.
I think, it"s not really something that I need think hard to know.
That’s right. I didn"t have any worth.
After all of the life in this body has been s.n.a.t.c.hed away, my little sister (misha) got killed, the me who cannot kill anything.
This kind of me, which have no specs of anything that can be brag about.
There’s no way that I have any worth.
Then why, I, just like this ran away from that person"s place?
I even made her cry, while knowing that I didn"t have any worth to keep.
..... the answer was easy.
I was just, afraid of being broken.
That"s why, I can"t stay beside her, and ran away.
Beside nee-san, I will slowly and slowly rot away.
I am afraid, that the "me" will disappear as my soul will finally be broken.
Because of that selfish reason, just because of that reason.
I am again, doing something that made that person cry.
Shaking my head, I was looking forward.
No matter how I regretted about it, I have already taken action.
I already ran away from nee-san. I already clearly made her hostile to me.
It"s already too late .... I can"t come back again.
If I were to ever return, this time for sure I will be broken by nee-san.
My soul will be pulverized, and I will stay abide right beside her forever.
I can"t
That’s no use.
Because I will lose myself, I will give up my only chance to "live"
Rather than "warmth", I will choose the eternity with nee-san.
All the lives that was taken so far, and misha"s life which was used to protect me.
All and everything, will become useless.
that"s why .... that"s why.
It’s just, i can"t do it.
I stopped walking, I put my weight onto lost fang which stabbed into the earth.
It"s hard to move my body, since I kept swinging my magic sword for 10 days without resting, also perhaps it"s because nee-san"s magical power which whirl inside my body.
My right hand which was blown away by that person, didn"t show any sign of re-growing.
No matter how hard I piled up the ice, it didn"t regenerate.
..... however, somehow, I need to quickly, got out from the forest, this Forest of the Golden Night.
There"s a possibility that that person will chase after me, there was that.
However, I fully know how low the detection power of that person.
The possibility that she will chase after me .... was almost none.
The reason that I have to run from this place as soon as possible, was simply because there"s a lot of danger out here.
The Forest of the Golden Night is the same as the Twilight Mountains are inhabited only by monsters that are more than level 6.
I am wounded, furthermore I am only level 4.
If I had to fight them, there"s no way that I can win, even running away is going to be difficult.
Furthermore, my last ray of hope, the heat detection cannot function even at the slightest, it didn"t even work searching for enemy.
For now I couldn"t felt any presence of other monster ..... but I can"t let my guard down.
Because all of my actions, all of the trouble that I have met till now, I wouldn"t forget it.
quickly -----
....... kh ! ?
Pain ran through my body.
My concentration broke, lost fang was broken into pieces.
I crouched at that place, with my left hand I holding my chest.
..... nee-san"s magical power, ran amok.
Ihe encroachment will take 100 years, that person said it.
but that was probably, the encroachment speed when she minutely and tenderly controls the magical power.
Right now that I have already left nee-san"s side ..... the magical power that had eaten into me lost its restrain, and now more greedily started to devour my soul.
According to profes, at this speed it"ll take about a year.
Within one year, I will receive sudden encroachment.
Lost to my ego.
I will be degraded into, a doll without any will.
That was in real meaning, for an undead like me .... the only end that can be called as 『Death』
There"s not much time left.
If I didn"t lift this curse, I will die.
Gritting my teeth, holding down the pain and stood up.
Once again, I started to walked through the forest.