"What"s the matter with them? What"s the joke?" I inquired with, I am sure, the most exemplary mildness.
Hollis"s reply was extraordinary.
"Don"t speak to me like that, Short--don"t--or the consequences may be serious! My suffering"s internal."
What he meant I had not a notion. Few things are more annoying than to feel that individuals in whose society you are are revelling in a joke the entire ident.i.ty of which is hidden from you. In my judgment, in such a situation, it is someone"s plain duty to drop some sort of a hint as to where the jest comes in. However, once more, I refrained from comment.
We reached the starting-place for the second hole. They wanted me to commence, but I declined. So they had their strokes, and then my turn came. I had very carefully noticed how they managed, so that I approached the ball feeling that I had picked up several more or less valuable hints, of which I promised myself that I would not be slow to take advantage. And I have little doubt that I should have done very well had not Hollis chosen that moment to make some more, to say the least of it, unnecessary remarks.
"Let me point out to you, Short, that the second hole lies over there, and that therefore you should drive your ball neither to the right nor the left, but as straight in front of you as you can, because the straighter you drive, the nearer to the hole your ball will be, and the object is to reach the hole in as few strokes as possible. And I may take this opportunity to observe that it is not one of a caddie"s duties to place a player"s ball in the exact position in which the player would like it to be placed."
Again someone laughed. I fancy more than one, but I did not look to see who. I began to suspect that this was a case of actual bad manners.
"I can"t play with this thing!" I exclaimed, eyeing the club which that impudent boy had given me.
"What"s wrong with it? The gentleman whom you requested to provide you with every requisite for the game has supplied you with a liberal a.s.sortment of drivers; you ought to have no difficulty in finding one to suit you."
I myself chose a club from those in the bag.
"That"s a niblick. You can hardly drive with a niblick."
"Why not? Is it an essential condition of the game that you should play a certain stroke with a particular club?"
"Not that I"m aware of. Still, I cannot but think that you will hardly do yourself justice if you drive with a niblick. If you are in search of a little variety why not drive with a putter? These are the clubs with which one generally drives."
He gripped half a dozen clubs, all of them more or less like the one with which I had played my first shot.
"But they are so long--and so unwieldy."
"That you should be of that opinion is unfortunate. Still, one generally drives with them. However, as you please. Drive with what you jolly well like. Only drive. Not only is lunch at two, but we are still blocking the course."
As it happened, two other men had come up, with their caddies. One of them said,--
"If you gentlemen are not in a hurry perhaps you won"t mind our going on."
"Not in the least. Time is of no object to us. We are here for the day.
You will probably find us still here when you come round again, should you propose to do a second round. Go on, please."
While they went on I examined the clubs which Hollis had suggested; finally deciding on one, though it was not at all to my taste.
"Mind you, this is much too long for me."
"It does not look as if it were the kind of club to which you"re accustomed. Perhaps you would prefer a hockey-stick. Should I send for one while we"re waiting?"
"I thought," growled Pickard, "that we"d come here to play golf."
With that I let fly. I did not propose to wait for the repet.i.tion of such an insinuation as that; emanating, moreover, from a complete stranger. I did not pause to consider, to take aim, for anything.
Scarcely were the words out of that unmannerly Scotchman"s lips than I made my stroke. Owing, no doubt, to the haste to which I was impelled, I hit nothing but the vacant air, though I had used such force that I myself almost tumbled to the ground.
"That would have been a good shot," commented Hollis, "if you had hit the ball. It"s a pity you missed it. Have another go."
I immediately repeated my stroke, hardly giving myself time to recover my equilibrium. Not at all to my surprise, in view of the excessive length of the club, I struck the end of it against the earth so violently as to break it clean in two, to say nothing of the jarring sensation which went right up to my shoulder.
"You hit something that time," murmured Hollis, "though it wasn"t the ball. Have another club. There are plenty more where that came from."
I took another club from that impudent lad. I was hot--more, I was indignant. It galled me to be compelled to suspect that it could be possible that I was providing unintentional amus.e.m.e.nt for a number of persons, not one of whom, under ordinary circ.u.mstances, I should have thought worthy of my serious attention. Again I made my stroke. And this time I not only hit the ball, but, in consequence, I presume, of the almost frenzy with which I was actuated, the club itself slipped from my hand, and went careering through the air.
"You hit the ball that time," admitted Hollis. "But--you are a remarkable golfer, Short, and it"s an extraordinary fact that your club should have gone farther than the ball."
"We"ll give you this match, Hollis," growled Mr Pickard, with an air which I could only call uncouth. "I"m off."
"My good Pickard, we"ll give it you. Or--should we postpone it to a day on which we can all get up early, say at sunrise, so that we can have the whole day before us, and the links to ourselves?"
"No thank you, I"ve had enough."
"I am sorry, gentlemen," I observed, "if I have spoilt your game."
No statement, as coming from me, could have been handsomer, bearing in mind that I was the princ.i.p.al sufferer. But Mr Pickard was incapable of saying anything handsome.
"I didn"t know we"d had a game."
"Come, Pickard," suggested the vacuous Barstow, "it hasn"t been so bad as that. I"ve enjoyed it--as far as it"s gone, thanks to Mr Short. I"m sorry, Mr Short, that I"m not staying down here long enough to enable us to finish it."
I said nothing. I was not disposed to cross swords in what he might imagine to be a duel of repartee with a man like Barstow. The two men marched off with their caddies without another word. I walked off with Hollis.
Seldom have I had a more disagreeable walk than that was. Not that, so far as Hollis was concerned, it lasted for any considerable distance; though it was longer than I desired. In the course of a very few minutes he showed me the kind of man he was; and, in so doing, revealed a side of his character of whose existence I had not even dreamed.
Scarcely had we left the golf links behind than he remarked--until that moment he had not uttered a single word, nor had I,--
"If you"re going by the 12.48 I"ll see you off."
"Twelve-forty-eight!" I cried. "I thought you said that lunch was at two."
"I had forgotten that I have an engagement for lunch with a man which I shall be compelled to keep. You needn"t stay. There"s nothing here but golf."
He looked at me in a manner which I resented with every fibre of my being.
"Allow me to remind you, Hollis, that I came here at your express invitation, on the understanding that you were to teach me golf."
"Did you? I"m sorry. I shall be happy to refund any expenses to which you have been put. But, if you take my strong advice, after your exhibition of this morning you will not stay here any longer than you can help. You might not find it agreeable. As I say, if you are going by the 12.48 I will see you off."
"Will you? I am obliged. You needn"t. Nor need you come with me another step. Indeed, I would rather you did not. I will wish you good-morning here--and good-bye."
"Good-bye," he echoed.
Without uttering another syllable he swung round on his heels and strode back towards the golf-links, leaving me to pursue my way alone.
My sensations I will not attempt to depict. What a discovery I had made! What a character had been revealed, as it were, by a flash of lightning! I had regarded this man as an acquaintance, almost as a friend, and yet had never known him till that moment.
I did not travel by the 12.48. I went up by the afternoon train to town. I lunched alone; and, in that place, could not have had better society. I am of a buoyant disposition. By the time I reached London I had, practically, wiped the whole regrettable incident off the tablets of my mind. And I had arrived at a decision. I had resolved to hire a field, or an open piece of ground, and engage the services of an expert golf player, a professional, to coach me in the rudiments of the game.