A sweet sigh echoed through the room as I looked bored at the item that had just been auctioned, the tusk of an ancient Mega mammoth that looked bigger than a part of the building. How they got in the colossal monstrosity I knew not, the only thing I did know, was that the f.u.c.k ton sold for more than all the other items on the list combined.Thing looked big enough to seriously injure any one from a few miles away, and gouging holes into anyone that had the misfortune of so much as touching the tip of the monstrosity.
"d.a.m.n! That looks like something that would look cool on the forefront of any ship!!" Fawkes whistled, in a rare show of emotion in his otherwise stoic and butler-y vibe. (I do Not Look like a butler you a.s.shole!!)
"That is true.. What do you say we get it for the ship we"re gonna have built when we go to waters 7?" I asked, as I chuckled evilly. "That sounds fun~" Sorren said, nodding in the corner. With his greasy mouth and blank expression, he reminded me of the look I imagine I had when I first touched chocolate, all those years ago.
"Lunatics….." could be heard from a rather weary new addition to the team to whom, we had in a bout of Sorren like stupidity- introduced ourselves to. Which I now regretted. " Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk I suppose…"
"With that I come to the last item of this rather rambunctious part of the auction - An accurate map to the Grand Line!! Ladies and Gentleman, imagine the amount of use this piece of paper could offer.
Since everyone knows of the Grand Line and it"s many dangers I believe no introduction is required for this Magnificent item. its pricing shall have a begin at a measly price of 500 belli. Let the bidding begin!" He shouted proudly looking at the uproar that his words had caused.
"500 Belli!"
"Fool dare dream of buying such an invaluable map for only 500 belli. This old man has itchy hands to spank you in, 800 Belli!"
"Old man that is s.e.xual hara.s.sment! f.u.c.k off. 900 belli!!" All sorts of cries rang out, raising the price of the hot commodity to a 3000 belli, in a matter of minutes.
"Oi cap, we aren"t buying this?" Fawkes asked, looking at me curiously. "At the beginning I thought of just winging it through the calm belt, but now that you say this, well why not? We literally have bills to throw around after all!" I said before broadly chuckling - I wanted to make a grand entrance!
"heh! should have known! b.a.s.t.a.r.ds!!" Terrick thought as he stared, blazing trails of red hot flame into my currently sweating back. "Oi granddaddy don"t swing that way fool!!" I said looking behind me.
"6000 belli!" A proud voice called out from one of the VIP boxes, immediately forcing all the previously raving candidates below to immediately shut up.
"6000 belli going once, going twice and so-" The auctioneer said, only to be interrupted by yours truly, who had gotten it into his mind to mess with the other bidder for kicks.
"6100 belli" I called out calmly, immediately infuriating the other party who raised the price to seven thousand belli, where I once again raised the price by a hundred.
"8000 belli. Friend in the neighboring box, why don"t you just give this map to me, the son of…" The previous bidder said, as I interrupted his introduction with my own inner monologue. " Arrogant young master get!! it feels like I just completed the standard webnovel kit!!"
"Hah, whose your daddy? 8100 belli" I called out, making the first part as weirdly s.e.xual as I could make it without cracking up.
"Oi cap what the h.e.l.l are you doing! You"re barely ten years old, you shouldn"t even be thinking of stuff like this, let alone throwing yourself at random rich men! You"re too young to be a gold digger!!" Fawkes said, the look of faux seriousness on his face making tic marks spontaneously pop up onto my forehead.
"Shattap Fawkes!" I roared before carelessly calling out a bid that trumped the other persons by exactly a hundred.
"and For a price of 9100 belli, the map belongs to the gentlemen in room number four."The auctioneer announced before throwing a proud look to the rooms of the three families. A look that screamed - "didja look at my talent!"
"Moving on to the last and final part, Men, Women and for whatever reason any children in the house, grab tight to your seats and be prepared to be amazed, for now we come to the final part of the auction and perhaps the highlights that you have been waiting for! The Devil Fruit auction! Oh with a bunch of slaves thrown in to the mix too!" The auctioneer said, with a twinkle in his eye.
"We only have six item in this part of the auction, with a heaping Three Devil Fruits, two sets of slaves and one pair of Meito. SO all You hungry wolves, dig into the huge heap of flesh that is this opportunity!!"
The first item in the line are the pair of Ryo Wazamono, the ancient twin swords - "Togatta" and "Fushin" The swords said to have accompanied the honorable sword saint "Okane ga Arimasen" who trusted these blades till the last day of his life.
He was a notable man from Wano who commissioned for the then famous blacksmith Mazushi, who would later make no other notable achievements in his life.
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With these blades in hand, sir Okane would sweep through the Grand Line making his own contributions to the contemporary sword styles of the era, before fulfilling his lifetime wish.
He then handed down these blades to his disciples, who immediately p.a.w.ned it off to us! Now let the auction for these items begin!!" He said which was accompanied by the crowd"s applause and my laughter.
"i..- I can"t,….. I can"t even- they called the guy "Okane ga Arimasen" which means - "I don"t have any money" which wasn"t his name, it was his catchphrase!!"