No, he wasn"t. That was another bit of info I learned years late.
Harry didn"t need me giving him the odd job to make his load a little lighter. He was on Tommy"s dollar and on Georgia"s payroll, part of his duties being looking after (that meant monitoring) me.
An unexpected betrayal that shouldn"t hurt as much as it did.
But it did.
"I"ll take a pa.s.s on that," I told Georgia.
"Babe, you gotta-"
I stared at her right in the eye. "There are a lot of things I gotta do, Georgie. All of them you know. So please don"t tell me what else I gotta do if it"s telling me how I should feel or if I really don"t gotta do it. You cannot dictate how I feel. Now, as you sign my paychecks, if it"s your order that I attend Harry"s retirement party, I"ll be sure to attend. But I"d rather not."
"We were all looking out for you," she informed me.
She truly believed that.
Which, of course, made it all the worse.
"That would make a great deal of sense, if I was seven," I retorted. "As I was not, it makes no sense at all."
"Liv-"
I interrupted her, "Can we move past this?"
She shook her head in annoyance.
"I don"t care that you didn"t want Tom back. Tom was patient, sure, but he was also weak. I"m actually glad you"re smart enough not to settle for that. He got his opening, and if he wanted to win you back, he could have. Months now, he"s done d.i.c.k. He"s excellent in the role he"s in. Watching you, he learned from a master, put his spin on it, things are going great. But he"s not the man for you and you figuring that out, I"m glad."
I said nothing because there was nothing to say and because I was bracing since I didn"t know where this was going.
"That said, I"m your big sis. I was looking out for you. Leading Tom along with the promise he"d get you when he had a purpose to serve, served my purpose. It worked out. You didn"t give him what he wanted, he"s got other s.h.i.t he wants, so he"s not complaining. But again, you, Liv, got something up your a.s.s and you just gotta let it go."
"This is you telling me how to feel, Georgie," I pointed out.
"This is me telling you that we are out of the fire but we jumped right into the frying pan. Valenzuela is up in my s.h.i.t and things are hot and going to get hotter so you need to strap in, Liv. No way I worked my a.s.s off to get us to where we are to have some psychopath pull that rug out from under me. And you gotta be all in because, however I need you, you"re gonna need to kick in."
Marvelous.
"You with me on that?" she asked when I said nothing.
"Is there a choice?" I asked back.
"That"s not saying "I"m with you," Liv," she retorted.
"It"s the best I have, Georgie," I returned.
She sighed a beleaguered sigh.
I sought patience, and as I was a practiced hand at that, found it.
"You know where Sebring is?"
At this surprise question, I made a sharp noise in the back of my throat.
"What?" I asked.
Suddenly, her eyes on me were frightening and her tone was a whisper.
And with that look and tone, as she spoke, I wondered with not a small amount of alarm if I ever really knew her.
"Babe, you do, you spill. Okay?"
I stared at her. Right in the eyes, I stared at my sister.
I suspected she had acid in her veins but I"d also hoped she had a soul.
She had no soul.
Looking right at her I saw it. For the first time I saw it.
Like our father, Georgia Shade had no soul.
"I don"t," I told her.
"You do, he contacts you, you spill."
"I understand where things are at with Gill, his ring is on your finger, but-"
It was her turn to interrupt me.
"This, we do not discuss. This is not up for discussion. We have a liability. We," she bit off the last word while lifting a hand and waving it between us. "There are no words exchanged when we have a liability. When we have a liability, the crew unites while Momma takes care of the threat. You"re either a member of that crew or you"re not, Liv. And I think you get where you are if you"re not. You can b.i.t.c.h and complain and act superior all you want. It"s annoying but it"s you and I"ve swallowed it enough my whole life, I"m used to the taste, so I don"t give a f.u.c.k. But we got a threat, you close ranks. That"s it. No words. It happens. Now, I asked, you got that?"
She asked if I got it that, if I protected Nick, she"d mow me down to get to him.
Obviously, that was not okay.
But I got it.
"I got it," I stated.
"So he"s not contacted you."
"No," I confirmed.
She stared at me, clearly a.s.sessed I was telling the truth, and nodded.
She relaxed.
I did not.
Her manner might have changed, but the look in her eyes was no less frightening.
"I want you to rethink Culver," she stated.
I sat still and silent, my eyes anch.o.r.ed to hers, not of my choice.
"I"ve been paying attention to the moves he"s making, and one thing in his whole, f.u.c.ked-up life Dad was right about is that Dustin Culver could be an a.s.set," she continued. "He could be useful. Give it time. A few days. Think on it. We"ll talk. When we do, if you don"t want to go there, I"ll want good reasons, Liv. Really good reasons. So when we talk, if you"re not up for giving that another shot, you need to have those reasons. Yes?"
I got that too.
With Tommy no longer in the picture, which meant whatever she promised him in regards to me not something she had to worry about, she now intended to revisit the idea of whoring me out to Dustin Culver due to the possibility he might be useful to the House of Shade. No reason I gave, including the fact I just wasn"t into him, certainly not the fact I was in love with one of our enemies, would be good enough.
The decision was made. I already had a mission: get Dustin Culver addicted to my s.n.a.t.c.h.
No.
My sister had no soul.
"Yes," I said quietly.
"He"s a good-looking guy. You two"ll be good together," she a.s.sured, as if looks were the only thing that mattered.
"You"re right. He"s not difficult to look at," I agreed.
The scary went out of her eyes and she smiled.
I watched her smile and another part of me-the last part, a tiny part, the only part living, that being the part that was my love for my sister which I thought reciprocated the love she had for me-died.
I did not let this show.
I was a practiced hand at that too.
The rest of our business wasn"t nearly as much of a roller coaster ride, and when it was concluded, she left.
I wondered about Bali.
Or Fiji.
Or Timbuktu.
But in case they had someone following my browser history, I did not turn to my computer and do searches.
I"d learned.
I breathed but I did not exist.
This would always be the way.
The thing was, I wanted that way to be somewhere else so, even if I only breathed, I did it in a place I breathed easier.
One thing I learned from my sister and Nick Sebring was how to play the long game.
I would not go tomorrow or next month or maybe even next year.
But I"d go. Patient. Smart. I"d go.
Worried she"d try to find me, I"d never breathe free. Georgie had proved even more than Dad that she had no intention of letting go an a.s.set she could use, an a.s.set she thought was hers.
But maybe someday in the far distant future, I"d breathe easy.
And in the meantime, it was clear she was turning her full attention to Nick Sebring.
That was not my business.
He could take care of himself.
I never breathed easy.
But just the thought of my soulless sister deciding it was time to take care of that particular threat...
It was a wonder I could breathe at all.
11:13 That Night I stood in my great room, staring out the front windows, the old burner phone I used to use when I called the club in my hand.
I"d looked up the number in the phonebook. That way, no one could trace the search.
I"d memorized it.
I shouldn"t do what I was thinking of doing.
I couldn"t not do it.
I looked down at the phone, punched in the numbers and put it to my ear.
It rang four times before I heard a woman answer, "Slade."
There was dance music in the background-not loud, muted. She was in an office at a nightclub.
Knight Sebring"s nightclub, Slade.
"I"d like to speak to Knight Sebring," I stated.
"Mr. Sebring doesn"t take calls through this line. You have to talk to his PA, Kathleen, during normal business hours. I"m sorry, but if you don"t have her number, it"s difficult to get to him."
This meant she wasn"t giving me Kathleen"s number.