I held his gaze, not believing what I saw, not wishing to experience the wash of raw putrescence it sent flooding through me, then fighting back the rage that rushed through in its wake.
With everything else-shockingly not the least of which being my brief but affecting encounter with Nick Sebring-all of it piling on and being too much, for once I did not control my reaction, consider every move available and then move forward cautiously (or, as was often the case, not at all).
I surged out of my seat and quickly made my way to the door.
"Liv-" Tommy began.
He shut his mouth when I sliced my eyes to him.
"You should"ve called me."
I made it to the door and hauled it open.
"It was a direct order," he said.
I stopped and asked, "Dad? Or Georgia?"
He didn"t answer even as he did.
His eyes moved across the hall.
Without hesitation, my feet moved across the hall.
"Liv!" he clipped.
I ignored him and knocked loudly at her door, didn"t wait and pushed through.
"f.u.c.k! Get the f.u.c.k out!" Georgia, back to her desk, knees up, bent and spread wide, taking Gill"s c.o.c.k, twisted her head to glare at me.
I looked from my sister to Gill.
It was not the first time I"d noted my sister"s favorite soldier was large, built and exceptionally handsome in a pug-like, blunt, brutal way.
It was just that I was so angry, I might like watching but that absolutely didn"t include my sister, so I noticed it with far more abstraction than usual while catching him f.u.c.king her.
"Go," I ordered, looking in his eyes, not anywhere else.
"Are you insane?" Georgia demanded to know.
I kept my eyes on Gill who was bent over my sister but he had his head tipped back to look at me.
"Go," I repeated.
He held my gaze then looked down at Georgia.
After a moment, he slid out and straightened, tucking himself back in his pants.
I stepped to the side of the door in Georgia"s office, attention to the floor, giving them both privacy to get themselves sorted.
I saw Gill"s legs walk by me as he left.
He closed the door.
The instant I heard it click, I looked to Georgia"s desk. She was now standing behind it, leaning into her fists spread wide on the top, her expression enraged.
"Do not ever do that again," she whispered.
"Was he going to Sloan?" I asked.
"Confirm that you will not ever do that again," she replied.
That meant Green was not going to Sloan.
"Was he going to Valenzuela?" I pushed.
"Liv, confirm that you will not ever do that again," she repeated.
"So neither," I surmised and finished, "And you had Tommy kill him anyway. Tommy. Tommy."
"You are not hearing me-"
Suddenly, I bent toward her, hissing, "No. I"m not hearing you. I do not give that first f.u.c.k you"re p.i.s.sed." Her brows shot up at this rarity and I leaned back, asking, "Tommy?"
"f.u.c.k, Liv-"
"Tommy!" I snapped his name like a whip, aiming my lash her way.
She pushed away from her desk. "He gets orders just like Gill."
I shook my head. "No he doesn"t. Tommy doesn"t. Not from you. Tommy"s mine."
Her face lost some of its anger and her tone was softer when she said, "He isn"t yours. He hasn"t been yours for a long time. And you know it, babe."
"He"s mine, Georgie," I reiterated.
"He isn"t, Liv."
I leaned forward and was again hissing. "He"s mine."
My sister"s voice was actually gentle, as was her gaze on me, when she returned, "He wasn"t even yours back then."
My torso shot back like she"d struck me.
"He does what he"s told," she continued. "He doesn"t get special treatment. He doesn"t get the clean jobs because the boss"s daughter gave him her c.u.n.t and her heart. It should have been a long time ago I stopped letting you protect him. Keep him for yourself. Try to keep him clean. The time for that to stop is now. A job needs to get done, no matter how dirty, he proves allegiance by doing it quickly and doing it well just like anyone else."
"So," I began, "Green isn"t stupid enough to turn on us, he just lost his patience because he needs money to actually feed himself, he takes off and you send my ex-boyfriend to whack him to make a point?"
"A point that needed to be made. Not only to Tommy but out there." She threw an arm wide before she pointed at her desk. "And in here, to all our boys."
That speared through my heart.
"It was you?" I asked.
"It was me."
"Not Dad?" I pressed m.a.s.o.c.h.i.s.tically, but holding on to hope that she was taking orders too.
Just like Tommy.
She shook her head, her manner still gentle. "No, sis. Not Dad."
She hadn"t relayed the order.
She"d given it.
I stood just inside the door of her office, silent.
Defeated.
Tommy, my Tommy, had killed a man. That man was Green. My man. My soldier.
It wasn"t like Tommy was clean. Before and after there was a Tommy and me, he"d done things. Many things. Including that. He was a gangster, like me. That was part of the business.
Though, I"d never killed anyone nor ordered an execution. But I"d sat through listening to orders being given with and without saying a word against it.
But since there was a Tommy and me, it was Gill or another member of the crew.
It wasn"t Tommy.
Not my Tommy.
"He gave up on you."
Her quiet words set my entire body to trembling.
Even so, I retorted, "Dad had Gill pouring acid on his face."
"Dad himself poured boiling oil on your back and you didn"t give up on Tommy," she shot back.
I looked away, the trembling worse, the pain resurfacing. Vast a.s.sortments of pain. Entire collections.
She was right. We"d been found where we thought we were safe in Baja. We"d been dragged back. And the torture hadn"t been just for Tommy for overstepping his bounds, daring to fall in love with the king"s princess, taking her away.
The torture had been for me too.
We both had a lesson to learn.
Everyone a.s.sociated with Vincent Shade had a lesson to learn.
But I"d been first.
There was a small area of skin on Tommy"s left cheekbone that looked like it was melting.
He"d endured that for five minutes and renounced me. Promised it was over. Accepted his punishment of working by my side and never again touching me. Ending forever what we"d had. And last, committing his future to my father"s sister"s daughter.
He"d married my cousin three months later.
But for ages, Tommy had watched the oil poured along the small of my back, my upper hips, and I had not renounced him. He"d shouted. Cursed. Fought against his restraints. Begged them to burn him.
But when they turned to him, he hadn"t endured his long.
I"d endured it silently, focusing as best I could on making new plans. Plans for when it was over, we were healed and it was time to try again (this time successfully). The oil dripped on my back while I decided our next destination. How we"d get there. How we"d cover our tracks. At the same time hoping with each drop gliding pure agony, I was proving to my father that I loved the man I was accepting torment for so he"d find it in him to simply let us be free.
"Liv, sissy, you need to give up on him too," Georgia told me gently.
Her words brought me back into the room.
"He"s a soldier, nothing more. He"s not yours. He"s ours," she went on. "And he needs to do his job."
She was correct.
In this world where we lived, she was absolutely correct.
It was just that I didn"t want to live in a world where things like that were the way you lived.
"Right now I hate you," I whispered.
Her shoulders slumped slightly, but that was all she gave to me.
"It isn"t the first time," she replied.
She was again absolutely right.
She was my sister.
But she was also her father"s daughter.
And I detested him.
"No," I agreed and watched her fight the flinch. "And I"m sure not the last."
Still holding my eyes, she started to round her desk. "Liv-"
"f.u.c.k you, Georgia," I bit out and she halted at another rare reaction from me.
"I"ll give you time," she offered.
"Excellent call," I returned, reaching out a hand to the doork.n.o.b. I opened the door and started through but turned back to share, "David"s hiding something. I"m leaving for the day and working from home for the foreseeable future. I"ll cover his duties while he"s out of commission. Until I find out what he"s hiding and how bad it is, you need to use your inestimable skills to shut him down. I"m sure I can count on you doing that."