"You, brother, you started life havin" it easy," Knight continued. "Got a lot of love for you so this is difficult to say but I"m gonna say it. I like you gotta work for what"s important. If you work for it, you"ll get it. You"ll get why it was worth the work. You"ll never forget that. And you"ll finally get to where I am now after you wade through all the s.h.i.t, knowin", when you finally have it easy, just how worth it was to keep wading through. But bottom line, I know you"re a man who"s got the b.a.l.l.s and the guts and the heart to stick it out and wade through."
Nick gave it the time he needed to let his brother know that sunk in and it meant something to him.
Then he gave him s.h.i.t.
"You done with heartfelt big brother lectures?"
Knight"s mouth quirked on his, "f.u.c.k you."
"You wanna meet my girl, safer for you to come to us at first. But I"m no one-trick pony so it isn"t gonna be steak."
"Now he disrespects my steak," Knight muttered.
"Get out. Got work to do."
Knight grinned and turned.
He was almost out the door when Nick called his name.
He had men out there, Bernadette.
He didn"t care.
"Just so you know, love you too."
A different kind of dark flashed in Knight Sebring"s eyes before he shook his head, grinned again and disappeared.
Nick got back to work.
6:02 That Evening The minute he heard the growl of her engine get close, Nick slid open the door and stood at the top of the stairs.
Even though he"d warned his security company to keep an eye out for any car he"d inventoried as being used by her father"s crew or anyone not a.s.sociated with the building showing on the cameras repeatedly, he scanned the area. At the same time he did this, he watched her get out of her car, go to the back, grab the handles of some brown paper grocery bags and move gracefully up the stairs.
When she hit the landing, he hooked her with an arm and shuffled her in.
He was kissing her by the time he had her over the threshold. He kept doing it as he slid the door closed.
He only lifted his head when he"d turned the bolt home.
"Groceries?" he asked.
"I"m cooking."
That night weeks ago when he"d ended things, she"d made some crazy-a.s.s dessert that included a slapdash layering of nothing but brownies, heavy cream whipped with a packet of instant vanilla pudding and mini-Reese"s Peanut b.u.t.ter Cups. It was f.u.c.king amazing but even professional eaters could only shovel two spoonfuls of it in their mouths before they started lapsing into a diabetic coma.
He"d watched someone he loved die and was tied to a chair, facing certain death just instants before being rescued. He had not let that paralyze him. He let it feed him. Therefore, since then, he"d done and seen a variety of some serious s.h.i.t.
Nick didn"t fear much.
After one encounter with the results of her efforts in his kitchen, Olivia with groceries put the fear of G.o.d in him.
He shuffled her toward the kitchen, stating, "Maybe we should establish kitchen boundaries."
"Dear G.o.d, more rules from Nick Sebring."
"The one and only time you made something in my kitchen, I nearly lapsed into a sugar coma to the point it was touch and go I could f.u.c.k you."
Her body locked, successfully stopping them from moving as she declared haughtily, "That"s the all-American dessert. Any proud, red-blooded American should easily be able to consume a huge bowl of that with a smile before they went off to plant a flag somewhere or win a gold medal or something."
"That is not the dessert of champions, baby."
"It most certainly is."
"My arteries hardened just looking at it."
She glared at him.
She was being cute and funny so Nick hugged her close and shoved his face in her neck as he burst out laughing.
He stopped laughing when she whispered in his ear, "I f.u.c.king love it when you do that."
He lifted his head and looked down at his unsmiling princess who was again giving him something deep in her eyes.
"Drop the groceries," he ordered.
"Sebring-"
"Drop the f.u.c.king groceries."
She stared at him but she didn"t have to look deep.
He was giving it to her surface.
He watched her lick her lips as he heard the thumps of bags. .h.i.tting the floor.
That was when Nick picked her up, took her to bed and f.u.c.ked her.
Much later, he left her in his bed, naked, sated, dozing, tangled in his sheets. He retrieved the bags. He stopped paying attention to what he was putting away after he unearthed a packet of thick-cut bacon, a bag of seasoned, frozen curly fries, a jug of canola oil and huge bottle of Ranch dressing.
He made bangers and mash with homemade gravy, flash boiled fresh haricot vert and peas.
They ate in front of the TV, Nick in jeans and a tee, Olivia again in his shirt.
This meant after they ate, they didn"t do any talking. They didn"t figure s.h.i.t out. He found his hand moving up the inside of her thigh and he discovered no underwear.
So they f.u.c.ked on the couch. Then moved to the bed.
And Nick fell asleep holding Livvie.
Finally, two days in a row, what he"d wanted for weeks he got.
That being falling asleep doing just that.
And waking up the same way.
Chapter Eighteen.
Not to Fit Olivia 9:15 Friday Night "I"m so sorry," I whispered.
I was chest to Nick"s abs, in his bed, my arms crossed lightly on his pecs, my head tipped back, my eyes to his where he was lounging against his headboard.
He was fiddling with a lock of my hair.
He"d just told me about his mom, his dad and his brother. About how his mother had been a junkie prost.i.tute, Knight born into that, his father a john who fell in love with a hooker.
His father had also been an enforcer, in the life with power behind him both through his fists and the man he worked for. So he could keep her pimp cowed while he pulled her and her boy out and got her clean.
Shortly after he was successful with this, they got married, had Nick and Nick"s dad officially adopted Knight.
"Nothin" to be sorry for, Liv," he replied. "I didn"t feel it. I didn"t live that. I was just the a.s.shole kid they made and had to put up with while I figured out they all went through h.e.l.l to give me safe and normal while all that time I was feelin" left out they had that bond from the struggle."
He"d shared that too. How he"d been a jerk to his whole family. To friends. Even to Anya when she and Knight were starting out.
"It"s very wise for anyone to figure that out, Sebring," I told him. "No one likes feeling left out and you were too young to get that what they shared was not something you"d want to be a part of. They were just your family and you didn"t fit. It hurts not to fit, most especially with family. So of course that"s all you"d feel until you were mature enough to sort that out."
"I took it too far and it lasted too long," he muttered, gaze to his fingers twirling my hair.
"Yes, you took it too far but that"s only unforgiveable if it genuinely lasted too long. You"re the man you are now. They know that. You"re in each other"s lives. So it obviously didn"t last too long."
He looked to me and the warmth making his blue eyes liquid felt like it settled in my soul.
"What"s that about wise?" he asked softly.
That settled in my soul too.
His voice still soft and now gentle, he asked, "You know how it feels not to fit, don"t you, baby?"
We were doing what Nick said we"d do. Taking it easy. Taking our time. Figuring it out. Not pushing it. Just living it. Getting used to each other.
Giving me that, since we started again, this was the first time he took things someplace heavy.
We needed to share. We needed to figure it out.
Even so, when he asked questions like that, I knew he already got me.
I shrugged to indicate he was right. "Ever the pessimist, I sensed a long time ago that wouldn"t happen and gave up wanting it."
That tendril of my hair wrapped around his finger, he stroked my jaw with it, his tone still gentle but now also careful. "That scar your dad"s way of tryin" to make you fit?"
He"d given me what he"d given me, something n.o.body knew about the Sebrings. In giving it, he"d been thorough, honest, and quite a bit of it wasn"t pretty.
In-depth detail like that of their lives and histories would be all over if it was there to be had. It was detail that gave insight about why Knight did what he did. It explained the history the brothers shared. None of it put him or his brother in jeopardy but any information could be used in a variety of ways.
But this information, bottom line, wasn"t anybody"s business.
Nick had given it to me. Open and frank, he"d just given it to me, handing me parts of him that in our world could be twisted into weapons that could be used to hurt him, Knight, Anya, his family.
He"d given it to me.
Trusted me.
And that meant everything.
"I ran away with Tommy," I declared.
Emotion instantly blazed in Nick"s eyes that I read and maybe my reaction wasn"t healthy.
But I loved it.
Because it was jealousy.
That said, I also had to a.s.suage it.
"It"s over now. Long done. Long dead. But back then, we were in love. We went to Mexico. We were going to run a Jet Ski business and make babies. We were stupid and young and hopeful which made us more stupid. Dad found us. Dragged us back. Taught his lesson."
My eyes drifted away from his as my words kept coming.
"He told Georgia it was about the money we supposedly stole. But we hadn"t stolen anything. Some of it was mine, some of it was Tommy"s. I think Dad told her that so she"d not question what he was doing. The lesson he was teaching. But he taught it and not just to me. To Tommy. But he also taught it to Georgia. She might be in denial but she learned it. It wasn"t about the money Tommy and I took with us. It was about me and even Tom."
I looked back to Nick, and lost in my story, I kept telling it. But even looking right at him, I barely saw him.
"My father owned us and we were not free to do what we wished or be with who we wished. We were not family. Tom was not a soldier who disobeyed orders and had to be punished. We were tools who needed to be available to him for whenever he wished to use us. Minions. Slaves. We did as told and nothing else. And Georgia"s three years older than me. She saw men and even had some who were steady before that happened with me and Tommy. Not after. She learned the same as me."
Still stroking my jaw, Nick held my eyes but he didn"t say anything.
So I asked, "You know what"s strange?"
"Everything about that is strange," Nick noted quietly.