"Her Ladyship"s weathermen have been at it again, that"s what! They say all"s changing, and that if we leave the entertainment till tomorrow "twill be wet.
So, "tis tonight, an hour after sundown, and there"s lights and tapers and rushes to set-don"t bother me, I"ve enough to do!"
I rushed back to Snowy. "It"s today, tonight, at twilight! We"ll never be ready!"
"The animals must be told," worried Snowy. "And if it is to be tonight they won"t bother feeding them. I wondered why I had not been sent for . . ."
"But you must get in there, they won"t know what to expect! If we ever manage it . . . There"s Corby to stake out, the sluice to make operable, and-oh G.o.ds!
Conn . . ." And I ran my fingers through my tangled hair in desperation.
"Stop panicking," said Snowy gently. "All will be done. Just tell me when you expect everything to be ready . . ."
Hastily revising practically everything I set approximate times, my mind racing ahead with gates to clear, dried rushes and fat to add to fuel, Conn . . .
oh dear! And the problem of everyone being prepared to escape.
"Just be ready at the end of the lake nearest where all will be moving," said Snowy. "Someone will pick you up. It may not be me, but you will be rescued, I promise. Now, your only real problem is to persuade the Rusty One to cooperate."
"But you-how will you get in to tell the other animals?"
"That is the easiest part! Go over now and tell the head-groom-that sharp- faced fellow in the striped yellow breeches-that your master has donated me to the entertainment. Go on: do as I say!"
"But-but that means . . ."
"That I shall be there to lead them to freedom, yes. Go, child: do as you are told. It"s our only chance."
I wanted to say no, no! We can escape, we can leave the other animals to their fate, we seven can get away, but knew it would be no use, knew that our unicorn would never agree. To him those lost, frightened animals down there in the dark were just as important as we were and that was right, I knew, but the miserable cowardly bit of me would not admit it. I knew that those prisoners were just as important to the world as the king in his castle, the knights in their armour, the maidens in their towers, and I wished there was something, someone, who would look kindly on our enterprise just for the sake of all the lost and frightened and persecuted ones who could not help themselves. Conn prayed regularly: perhaps I should too. I shut my eyes and tried to think of a force, a power, a stream of goodness, pity, love.
"Please, please help us!" I prayed. "Help us to free those animals, help us to ensure it doesn"t happen again. Help me to help poor Conn, help me to take care of them all; keep us together and safe . . ."
I should have liked to record that I felt an enormous force sweep through me in answer, making me feel ten feet tall, full of courage and capable of dealing with anything, but I regret to say that all I felt was Moglet"s claws in my right ankle.
"Breakfast?"
After that I was too busy to think of anything, except the searing compunction I felt as they led Snowy away.
They had laughed at my offer at first. "What, that decrepit old bag o" bones?"
they had jeered. "Don"t you know we don"t take jades? Down there we have the pick of the fields and forests-what, an old hack like that?" Then: "But perhaps, being white and so slow an" all, he"d be an easier target for some of the less-practised ladies . . . All right, then, we"ll take him."
And then, before I had time to think how desperately easily all this could go wrong, it was off to the kitchens to steal oil, tallow and fat-sc.r.a.ps, and racing upstairs to secrete it behind the other materials for Corby"s fire. And back down again for some dried rushes . . . Then over to the lake. The waters had risen with the rain of the last couple of days and I had to grope for the lever that worked the sluice: it would still not budge further, but I had brought some tallow to grease it later. Then over to the wooden gates, and a frantic clearing of any dirt and stones that might impede their easy opening: no one took much notice. They were too busy with last-minute raking of the gravel, the fixing of tallow-dips, the hanging of silks and flags to the pavilions. Then I left the others in the stable while I attempted the task I had secretly been putting off till the last moment, the most difficult one of all . . .
Halfway up the steep, twisting stairs to Conn"s room I hesitated. It was well into the morning: suppose he was due to go riding with Lady Adiora? Suppose he was with her now? Or perhaps with the other knights and newly arrived guests in the solar? Perhaps with Sir Egerton in the library? I realized I was trying to put more obstacles in my own way, and that maybe I could put it off till later: it was no use, procrastination would just make it worse. I should have to search until I found him and hope it would not be too long.
But I need not have worried. Pushing aside the curtain to his room, still not sure what to say, how to persuade him to leave with us, I found him stretched out on the bed, still apparently in the blue-and-silver garb he had worn to last night"s banquet and certainly with the day before"s stubble on his chin, and a stale, perfumed air about him. He lay flat on his back, his arms folded on his breast, his toes pointed down for all the world like a knight laid out for his burying. If it hadn"t been for the frown and the open eyes I might well have believed him dead.
Going over to the bed I laid my hand hesitantly on his arm, still not sure of what I was going to say. "Conn? Are you all right?"
He didn"t move, not even his eyes: it was as if he were in a trance. Then- "Thingy?"
"Yes."
"Haven"t seen you for days-weeks." Slowly his eyes swivelled round to meet mine. "Yes, I"m all right. I think . . . Where have you been?"
I forebore to remind him how I had been thrown out. "Oh-around. You know . . .".
"Mmmm. What"s been happening?"
"Nothing much. What about you?"
"The same." He sighed. "Er . . . I"ve been thinking . . ."
"Yes?"
"I had almost forgotten, in this-this Castle of Delights, that we were supposed to be on a quest. Came to me last night. Wasn"t sleeping. You know .
I nodded. "I know. Restless . . ." Keep up the pretence, especially as I knew how awkward he felt by the staccato sentences, just as he had been when he first met us, before he had become used to us and spoke with that lovely, running lilt I remembered so well.
Then, to my horror, my utter embarra.s.sment, my downfall, he suddenly started to cry. Not noisy sobs, his head in his hands, but the slow, hopeless, unable-to-stop kind of tears that trickled from the corner of his eyes and ran down to his ears, leaving little snail-tracks glistening in the s.p.a.ce between.
"Conn! Oh Conn, don"t! My dear, don"t cry!" and I reached forward, quite without thinking, and held his hands, my heart bursting. "What is it? Who has hurt you?"
He released one hand, but only to wipe away the emotion, then sniffed, blew his nose on the linen sheet, and drew me down to sit on the edge of the bed beside him. Propping himself on one elbow he regarded me steadily.
"Thingummy, I"ve been a fool!"
I agreed wholeheartedly, but inside. "No," I said. "Of course you haven"t!
Whatever makes you think such a silly thing?"
"Don"t deny it, you know I have!" Luckily he went straight on without expecting any more protests, because I am sure a second time around he might have noticed my insincerity. "I"ve been a complete idiot! I fancied myself a youth again and tried to behave like one, when I should have remembered I am nearly thir-"
I put my hand over his mouth. "Age doesn"t matter," I told him firmly. "Just how you feel . . . Er, were you talking of the Lady Adiora?" I knew he was, but guessed it would be easier for him if I pretended I hadn"t noticed his infatuation. I was right, for immediately he loosed a torrent of words, conveying his hopeless adoration, her surprising reciprocation, his forgetfulness of aught else-and then came the interesting bit. I think he had temporarily forgotten that I, the deformed, ugly little Thing, with potentially no knowledge of Life with a capital L, would, or should, be unable to understand what he was saying.
"-and I thought it was only because it was the first time for ages, you know, when one gets too keyed up and can"t perform. Like drinking too much wine, when the intent is there but you can"t raise a thing. But she seemed to be satisfied enough when I found myself in a permanent state of arousal, but getting nowhere. I tried, dear G.o.d! how I tried, but I just couldn"t come off! It was all right for her, me with a permanent hard-on, but I got nothing from it except frustration and a sore p.r.i.c.k . . ."
I understood enough now to antic.i.p.ate his next remark.
"Then I remembered that old witch, cursing me in the forest, all that long time ago. She said-"
"That your desires would remain unfulfilled until you asked the ugliest woman in the world to marry you!"
He sat straight up on the bed and glared at me, his brow a thick, uncompromising and unbroken line across his forehead. "How the h.e.l.l-!"
"You talked in your sleep. When you were sick after that ambush. And you told The Ancient too, remember?"
He subsided, but not for long. "Well, I"m d.a.m.n well not going to ask any female to marry me, ugly or no! Sod that for a game . . . No, if I"m to get no satisfaction, I"ll put the temptations out of the way from now onwards. Pity, never fancied celibacy. Still, could shave my head and become a monk, I suppose . . ." The grim lines were smoothing themselves out from his face.
"The Ancient said that some spells could be broken if one sneaked up on them, took them by surprise, went in by the side entrance," I reminded him, though how this would apply in his case I could not imagine. "He also said that if we completed this quest and returned the dragon"s jewels our troubles would be solved. Remember?" Not exactly how he had put it, but still . . .
"Just what I was thinking first thing this morning," he said, more cheerfully.
"I reckon we should be going back to the road in a day or two-"
"No!" I cried. "A day or two will be too late-" and for the next quarter hour, half hour, I tried to explain to him what was happening, what we had planned to do.
It was no use: he utterly refused to believe me.
"But that would be like-like the Slaughter of the Innocents! No hunter would trap animals like that and wipe them all out without a chance of escape. It"s- it"s just not done, that sort of thing!"
"But it will be done, just like that, unless we carry out our plan!"
"Rubbish, Thingumajig! Now you"re letting your imagination run away with you-"
"Come with me!" and I half-pulled, half-dragged him from the bed. The lancet windows overlooked the yard at the back. "See? They have everything ready!"
"But for what? Lady Adiora said there was to be an outdoor entertainment, that was all . . ."
"Then why all those bows and spears stacked over there? And the carts outside the walls, waiting to carry off the dead animals? And the sand and sawdust in those leather buckets to cover up the blood, lest the ladies feel squeamish?
"Conn, wake up! Believe me . . ."
He still shook his head, but there were frown lines between his eyes. "No, you must be wrong . . ."
I could feel the tears of anger and frustration seeping through my mask.
"Well, if you don"t believe it, hard luck, that"s all! We"ll manage without you: you can stay with your-your precious Adiora and-and-and never "come- off," as far as I"m concerned!" and I turned and stumbled away towards the door. His bundle of clothes, the ones he had travelled in, were in a heap in the corner: we still had his mail in the stable. I glanced back. He was staring down from the window and his fingers were tapping restlessly on the sill.
Gathering up the bundle of clothes I fled downstairs. Perhaps he would come.
Perhaps . . .
The others were restless for action after being cooped up, and I hastily packed up all our gear and humped it and them over to the lakeside, then went back to beg some sc.r.a.ps for a meal, coming away with some bread and cheese, a ham-bone destined originally for the stockpot and a half-empty jar of honey.
That would have to do, but I remembered to fill the water-bottle from one of the river-water buckets.
It may seem strange that no one grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and asked what the h.e.l.l I was doing and where I was going, but everyone was, thankfully, far too busy preparing for the evening"s festivities. In the kitchens the spits were turning with fowl and game and pork, bread and pies filled the ovens and the tables were already laden with sweetmeats and glazed confections, but I was too busy and apprehensive to feel hungry. Guests were still arriving, and already the wineskins were being broached, and more decorations were being carried through to the hall.
I crept back to the others, wondering what poor Snowy was feeling at this moment, far beneath us in the darkness. They could not help but hear some of the preparation and, perhaps because of this, my stomach began to stretch and pull in sympathy with the trapped ones. I would not have had our unicorn"s courage, I knew that.
The others had sensibly hidden in the reeds with our gear, and we ate frugally, not knowing when food would come our way again, so I saved a little of everything and packed it with the rest. Then I stripped off, for as much as I hated the idea I knew I should have to climb down into that sc.u.mmy water and clear away all the debris I could from round the sluicegate.
The water was cold as death and smelt of rotting corpses, and I was gagging as I came up for a breath of fresh air.
"It"s impossible! I can"t shift it!"
"Let me take a look," said Puddy, diving neatly into the stinking water. He came up filthy, and looking grave. "Gives me a worse headache than ever, down there," he said. "There"s a great pile of silt on both sides of the gate.
Goes down two or three feet at least. Have to be scooped away."
"What with?" I said despairingly, for looking round there was nothing to scoop with, no container of any sort except Pisky"s bowl- "No!" said the little fish. "Not never! Not my bowl . . ."
I was not even conscious of having transmitted the thought, but quickly rea.s.sured him. "No, no, my pet, not your bowl. I"ll-I"ll just have to dig it away with my hands and throw it up on the bank."
"There"s the cooking-pot," said Corby slowly, "or, better still: this!" and he stalked over to Conn"s pack and tapped sharply on the hidden shape of his conical helmet. I drew it out, rust-spotted and dented-it couldn"t look worse.
A little mud . . .
For two hours I struggled with the slimy muck that squelched between my toes, choked my nostrils and layered my body with its evil-smelling slime, and I was hot, dirty and exhausted when Puddy finally took another dive to see if it was clear. His report was optimistic.
"You"ve shifted all that was blocking it. Now try the lever-gently, mind. We don"t want the water through yet."
I put my weight on the lever: nothing. I tried, again and again, and at last, to my gratification, felt the whole thing stir, quiver under my hand, and shift all of an inch to the next ratchet. Puddy went down again.
"It"s moving. Jaws are locked and the wheel engaged with the teeth. Don"t move it any more for a moment," and he disappeared again. Five minutes later he reappeared gasping for breath. "Water"s trickling down the pipe.
Three inches of debris only holding it back at the other end. Badgers did a good job. Can hear the animals."
"And Snowy?" I cried. "Is he all right?"
"Sorry. Forgot. Get my breath back and-"
"Oh, no! I can"t let you go back!"
"My fault for not checking." And back he went, and this time he was so much longer that my nails were digging into my palms by the time his head emerged plop! from the water and he swam, very tired, to the bank.
I stroked his back and his belly and used some of the water from Pisky"s bowl, eagerly offered, to wipe his eyes and mouth, then puffed a little of my air into his lungs. "Are you all right? You"re a very brave toad . . ."
He perked up a little, but his skin was still pale and bloodless. I snapped my hand fast round a pa.s.sing damselfly and stuffed it in his mouth. His throat worked up and down, an absurd wing sticking out of the corner of his jaw, but at last he swallowed, breathed more easily, and squatted down comfortably.
"I went right through, down the tunnel, over the barrier and into the dungeon. Snowy sensed I was coming and was there to meet me. Place stinks: haven"t cleaned it out this morning, of course, but neither have they fed or watered them and they are all hungry and thirsty and it is stifling hot. But Snowy has kept them in stout heart, and he shines like a light in the darkness-"
"A light?" I questioned, momentarily distracted.
"Why, yes: the silver light, like star-glow, that shines from him all the time.
You must have noticed it?"
"But I hadn"t. The others had, of course, and it was strangely humbling to remember that I was merely a human being, and because of that missed so many things these animals took for granted, like a unicorn"s light . . .
"I fear, though," added Puddy, "that his light grows dimmer, for he is near exhausted, I think. He says be sure to wait by the north side of the lake. Oh, and try your best to persuade the Rusty One. I think that was all," and he shut his eyes and went promptly to sleep, after the most sustained bout of communication I had ever heard him make, albeit the words had taken an agonizing ten minutes to emerge. It felt that long, anyway.
A horn sounded from the battlements behind us; it was about the sixth hour after noon, and a warning that the banquet was about to begin. I hid Moglet, Puddy and Pisky in the reeds as best I could and piled our belongings nearby where they would be readily accessible. Tucking Corby under my arm I scuttled back to the castle and was only just in time, for the gates were being shut as the last of the guests, a straggler knight, clattered into the courtyard.