He considered for a moment, chin in hands. "Under and over and about and through this old world of ours there flow sources of Power, as aimless as streams and rivers. As I said, they are neither good nor bad, they are just there. Clever magicians and wise men and shamans know where and when and sometimes how, but how you knew how to use it, I just don"t know."
"But the G.o.ds-G.o.d-whatever; are they, It, good or bad, or just people like ourselves? Or forces and powers in their own right? And how many are there of them?" I was bewildered.
"I think-but I do not know, child, I do not know-that there must be a Supreme Being, above all others, who wishes for us, for the world as we know it, our good. There are also Forces, name them I cannot, who wish to take all Power for themselves: riches, domination, everlasting life. And they have forgotten the welfare of ordinary people. Just see you use whatever powers you find in the proper way. There is good, there is bad: make sure you choose aright!"
I wanted to ask whether it would make the slightest difference what I did, but then, stealing into my heart as soft as a mouse at dusk, came the answer; a tentative sureness that quietened my fears and gave me breath where before there had been none. It was a sureness outside of myself, borne on the gentle touch of breeze on my cheek, the feel of the crisscross of gra.s.s under my hand, the sad smell of autumn, the sweet call of the wren, the taste of doubt in my mouth- "I will try," I said simply. It did not matter whether one used the prayer of the peasant or of the enlightened, the supplications of the Christian or the infidel, like smoke they would find their outlet, their goal. The only thing one had to remember was that one"s reach had to be towards this goal, this good, and that prayer was the way-not for oneself, for all.
I smiled at The Ancient. "Thank you. I feel much better." I noticed him shuffle himself together, as if he had just got out of a tight corner and was now about to obliterate himself from further questions. "But there are other things . . ."
He glowered at me. "What things?"
"Time," I said. "Time . . . What is time?"
"Time? Time . . . is something man invented to table the night and the day. To explain the good times and the bad. To excuse the wrinkles in the skin. To count the falling of the leaves; to guard against the sudden sun-to know how long to boil an egg . . ."
"And our time?" I prompted. "Our time? The days, the weeks, the months we spent on our quest? Why did it take six months by our calculations and nothing by yours?"
"How did-? No, you have answered that question. All right. Time was invented by man: you understand that?"
I nodded. "Minutes, hours, days-yes. But not the concept in full." I hesitated.
"We arrived with you in late winter, left on a summer"s day when it seemed we had been with you but a week, and arrive back in late winter again apparently not one day older. Some of our travelling seemed to take weeks, some days. Some of the places we visited looked as if they existed now, others had a strangeness we could not account for-"
"You travelled," said The Ancient, "in time. As you know it."
"Explain!"
"Think of a tapestry. It perhaps shows a court scene, a country scene, a hunt; someone has embroidered part of it only. At the sides are the silks that wait to be sewn, the future. Those already in the picture are the past. The threads now on the needle are the present. All there, all at the same time, yet not all in the picture. Not yet. But the picture can be added to at any time without changing the essentials. It will still be a court scene, a hunt . . . And even if the tapestry is complete, or one thinks it is, as the hangings shift and sway in a draught and a candle brightens one fold and then another, one can imagine it is only the lighted corner that is important." He leant forward and cupped my masked face in his hands. "So, you found yourselves first in one part of time and then another." He wagged his beard. "And don"t ask how I got you there and back, because a magician never gives away all his secrets. Suffice it to say that I had the power-" He laughed, and released me. "No, the knowledge to do it. And you didn"t change anything: Time-Travellers are observers. Oh, you robbed the Tree-People of a meal, released some trapped animals, helped a traveller on his way, but you didn"t change history; you can only do that in the now, when it is your hand guiding the needle."
I rose to my feet. I did not fully comprehend, but the image of the tapestry stayed in my mind. So time was a vast picture, never finished, that one could st.i.tch oneself into at any point . . .
"I don"t really understand," I said.
He laughed, and rose to his feet also. "Sometimes I feel I don"t either, if that"s any consolation!"
Together we walked back down the little hill towards the others, but slowly.
"Snowy? He understands all this?"
"Better than you or I, for he is immortal."
"Can the immortal never die?"
"No one can kill them, unless it is their choice to die."
We walked on in silence for a moment.
"Was it necessary for us to go the long way round?" I asked.
"The long way?"
"Yes. Making us suffer all that long journey, making us believe it took so long .
"Maybe it was not necessary. But think how much you all would have missed, how much all those adventures and travelling together taught you of each other and of yourselves!"
"We might have been killed, any or all of us-"
"Not while you five held the jewels and the dragon was still alive in the Now.
You were indestructible."
"And Snowy? And Conn?"
"As I said, unicorns are immortal, with or without their horns."
"And Conn?"
"Ah, well . . ." For the first time he looked guilty. "Well, I must admit that there I took a chance. But then . . ." He reached out and squeezed my hand, regaining his composure. "But then . . ." He winked and tapped his nose, "I knew you would look after him, you see . . ."
I frowned. "As far as I can recall he took care of himself, and all of us too, in the end. And it was rather presumptuous of you to suppose that I-"
"Loved him?"
I went all hot under my mask. "That has nothing-"
"Everything!"
"-to do with it! It was only in the beginning-"
"The Lady Adiora?"
"-that he faltered. In the end he was looking after everyone."
"Exactly!"
"Exactly what?"
"Your tests came when you were ready for them, not before. The first was Snowy, as you call him, to point the way."
"I notice I was last . . ."
"So? It was rather a grand finale, wasn"t it?"
We stayed in that enchanted place for a week, allowing even for The Ancient"s erratic sense of time, grew sleek and mended our gear and healed the last bruises the quest had engendered. And though it was winter away from this place, where we were the sun shone by day and the old man"s owl too-whitted us to sleep at night, cosy in the cave. I was given a new comb by the magician and it did wonders for my tangles and for Snowy"s mane and tail. I sharpened my little dagger on the honing-stone by the cave entrance till it was as sharp as a dragon"s tooth. Conn looked over his spotty armour and p.r.o.nounced it "no worse." Pisky"s bowl was cleaned to his satisfaction, Corby"s plumage once more lay straight, Puddy had a nice rest and declared his headaches much better, I played with Moglet with twine, leaf and nut till she grew tired, and The Ancient appeared in a different robe and headgear every day.
I didn"t tell the others about the Time-Travel bit: it had confused me enough without my having to explain it to anyone else.
On the seventh day I found The Ancient on his hands and knees with a measuring stick at midday, frowning at the shadow it cast.
"One more day," he said.
"And?"
"Then it"s on your travels again. The dragon still waits, or had you forgotten?"
No, I had not forgotten. I had just hoped against hope that perhaps we would have had a little longer . . .
The Binding: All
Journey to the Black Mountains
It was near the shortest day. Away from the shelter of The Ancient"s hide away we found how much the weather had changed in the world outside. In spite of our thickest clothes we shivered in the chill wind that whined down from the northeast and huddled closer as he led us across moorland, past the stone circle where I now recognized we had started and ended our quest, and northwards towards the sea. Across the tumbled grey water of the straits one could see the farther sh.o.r.e, ma.s.sed and woody on its lower slopes and soaring upward to bare scree and the distance-shrouded mountains, their tops capped like the magician himself with fanciful shapes, in their case of snow. It was both an awesome and an awe-inspiring sight and I was not the only one who drew back and trembled, for Moglet cuddled closer in my arms, Corby blinked and Conn whistled.
"Not easy, not easy at all! How do we get across, Sir Magician?"
For answer The Ancient leant among the reeds that bordered the little estuary in which we found ourselves and pulled on a rope. Slowly, silently, a narrow boat, half a man wide but the length of three and more, nosed its way to the bank. It was painted black but on the bows, on either side, were depicted great slanted eyes in some luminous, silvery substance, watching us from the beaked prow of the boat with a calculating stare.
Silently we boarded, silently The Ancient leant back to fend us off, and silently but for the slap of waves at the bow, we headed for the farther sh.o.r.e. There were no oars, no rudder, no sails and yet none of us thought to question our effortless progress. The Ancient stood in the prow, hatless for once, the wind blowing his white locks into strange patterns behind. It seemed that with his right hand he guided the pa.s.sage of the boat and with the left gathered the waters behind to aid its progress. But still no one said anything and we moved as if in a dream on those dark waters, a great stillness all around us.
I do not know whether it was minutes or hours we were upon that ghostly pa.s.sage, but it was with a sense of thankful awakening that I felt the bows of the craft ground upon the farther sh.o.r.e and my feet once more trod upon dry land. If all this had been magic, then I felt more comfortable without. I glanced back at the boat as we crunched up the shingle and the luminescent eyes stared back at me.
We found ourselves in a barren land. The trees were in their winter sleep, only showing they still breathed by the melted circles of frost beneath their branches; they were heavy with years and twisted by wind, and the moss and lichen that licked their roots and slithered down their northern sides only survived by grudging a.s.sent. There were no animals, no birds except a couple of gulls who came screaming down to see whether we had any sc.r.a.ps, but we had nothing to spare from our packs, for The Ancient had warned us that our journey would take over a week with no unnecessary stops. He was to come with us, partways as he said, to set us on the right path, and for the next few days, always cold, always hungry, we followed his tall and tireless figure ever higher among the folds of high hill that confronted us.
It was hard going, and even more so because of the hurt our burdens of the dragon"s stones gave us. The nearer we came to him, still a mythical idea to me, the more we were reminded of the jewels we had carried so long, though of late they had seemed lighter and easier to bear. Now we were a.s.sailed by pains as strong as those that had hindered us while we were still prisoners of our Witch-Mistress. Puddy complained daylong, night-long, of headaches and hid his eyes from the winter sun in my or Conn"s pocket. Pisky was always hungry, in spite of the hibernation-cold and rushed around his bowl seemingly lightheaded and losing weight at an alarming rate. Corby dragged his injured wing, lost his cheery banter and grumbled all the time. Moglet could not even put her damaged paw to the ground and had to be carried inside my jacket. And me? The stomach-cramps became worse, I was more doubled-up than ever. Only Conn and Snowy-and, of course, The Ancient- seemed unaffected. Snowy had the restoration of his horn to think about and was impatient-as far as that most patient of creatures could be-of our necessarily slow progress; Conn was cheerful, for now it seemed he was nearing the end of his quest to mend his broken sword and go adventuring again. So, added to my burden of physical pain was an extra heartache. Seeing how optimistic Conn was becoming, I could not but realize that while his mended sword would mean escape for him once more to foreign lands, for me it would mean loss and an eternal worry as to his well-being; I cried a little, but under my mask, and any who saw reckoned it was the hurt of the stone I carried.
It grew colder, and the land became ever more barren save for the occasional green valley sheltering sheep and a few shepherds" houses, and they had little enough to spare for unexpected travellers. Our burdens became heavier even as our packs of food grew lighter, or so it seemed, and in the end Snowy, who alone seemed to thrive on the spa.r.s.e herbage and icy streams, carried me as well as the remains of our food. The Ancient, too, another member of the Faery kingdom, or near-kin to it, seemed to stride faster, eat less and grow younger as the days pa.s.sed and the hills grew taller.
We rested up at night, but although the days now gave but some seven hours of travelling light we made good progress. Ever nearer, glimpsed but fleetingly at first but now more menacing, loomed the cone-shaped Black Mountain. Tantalizingly far, ominously near, it was the first thing we looked for at dawning, the last thing at night. At first it had looked smooth, almost like a child"s brick placed among the rougher stones of the other mountains, but as we drew nearer we could see the cliffs, gullies, creva.s.ses that marred its surface. Corby swore that he, with his keen eyesight, could even see the cave, high up on the southern slopes, but I don"t think any of us believed him.
At last the mountain towered above all its fellows, dark, forbidding, looking virtually unclimbable, and that was the day that the magician led us through a high pa.s.s, chilly with the grey-sky threat of snow, into a bowl of green gra.s.s right by the mountain"s root.
Here we were sheltered somewhat from the wind and here we found also a moderate-sized village, some twenty houses and huts, a meeting-house and even the ruin of a once-fortified manor. The priest that had occupied the little chapel-big enough to hold two dozen, no more-had died three years back and had not been replaced, but I noticed a ram"s horn twisted with berries and fresh winter-ivy under the half-hidden shrine that held a rudely carved wooden figure that could have been either male or female, so religion of some sort still held their superst.i.tions.
We were welcome in the village, albeit shyly, for travellers in this high valley were few and far between and we were more unusual than most; but over a supper of mutton broth, barley and rye-bread we learnt at first hand that our fabled dragon did indeed exist, and had last been seen in the valley some years back. He could be heard at certain times of the year when the wind was in the right direction, roaring in great desolation from his cave. No, no one had dared the mountain in pursuit but yes, they were sure he was still there, though it was six months back since last Michaelmas or Samain that any had heard him. Yes, once he had been a regular-and welcome-visitor, but since that last feasting some years ago-as far away in time as young Gruffydd here had years-he had not visited them. No, he never did them harm, but had entered pleasantly enough into the spirit of the jollifications they had held in his honour, and it was not many who could boast of a dragon on their doorstep. No, not large, but again not small. Yes, fire and smoke, but not too much damage. And were we really come to seek him out?
"So you see," said The Ancient, when we were at last alone, with the doubtful luxury of a smoky fire that seemed afraid of standing tall and puffing its smoke through the opening of the meeting-house in which we had been lodged, instead creeping along the floor and curling up among the smelly sheepskins we were to use for our bedding, "I wasn"t telling stories. Your dragon is up there, on that mountain, waiting for the return of his jewels."
"But no one"s seen or heard of him for an awful long time," said Conn. "And if, as they say, he"s not been down here to feast for some seven years or more, how do we know he"s still alive?"
"We don"t," said The Ancient, "but I think he is. Your stones still hurt, my children, don"t they? Well, if he were dead, they would fall away from your bodies like dust, but you have all complained of greater hurt as we approached this mountain, have you not? And I can feel-and I think your unicorn can, too-a sense of latent power, a drawing-forward towards some central point . . ."
"He is still there," said Snowy. "But only just. The fires burn low . . ."
"Then the sooner you climb that mountain the better!"
"That sounds," I said, "as if you are not coming too."
"Right. I"m not. This is your quest. I am only your guide . . ."
We gazed at one another. Somehow this old man-older in years, but with the single-mindedness and determination of one much younger-had kept us all together without our giving much thought to what would happen next. We had all conveniently forgotten that he was only coming part of the way with us and now, faced with the reality of his departure, I think we all felt rather like that boat we had ridden in, rudderless, sailless, oarless, without the guiding force.
Conn cleared his throat. "And just how-er, hmmm, sorry; how will we know the right route?"
"You have guides: Corby"s eyes and Snowy"s good sense. They will show the way."
"And you? You will wait for us? Watch us go?" I thought perhaps he felt too tired to go further and didn"t want to admit it.
But there was a flash of fire from those usually mild eyes. "And why should I?
Think you that you are the only creatures on earth who have a task to fulfil?
That you are the Only Ones because you are the Unlikely Ones?" He frowned, those thick eyebrows coming down over the windows of his eyes like snow- laden eaves. "You are not. But if you come through this-if, I say-I shall see you again. That is all!"
"But I thought-I thought it would be easy once we . . ." faltered poor Moglet.
His gaze softened. "Easier than your spider, my kitten, perhaps. But it will demand a great deal of physical effort. And you will be cold, very cold . . ."
"But it will be worth it, won"t it?" she persisted. "For then we shall all lose our burdens and be whole again and able to run down the mountain and play!"
He smiled. "If that is what you choose . . ."
"Hang on," said Corby. "Of course that"s what we choose. Isn"t that what we came all this way for? To lose these wretched enc.u.mbrances!" And he flapped his burdened wing.
"Maybe that is what you wanted when you started. But perhaps you will not be of the same mind now-"
"Of course we are!" said Puddy. "Anything to rest this weary head of mine . . ."
"And I want to eat again," said Pisky. "Properly. A feast. Talk right, instead of with a mouthful of pebble. If my parents could see me now they would think I was last year"s laying instead of . . . whenever it was," he finished lamely.
Conn glanced at us all. "I think you have your answer, Magician. I for one came on this journey for one reason, and one reason only: to mend my father"s sword so that once again I can hold up my head and fight with the best!"
"And the armour?" said The Ancient, slyly.
"Oh, that! Well-I can buy fresh armour easy enough," but he scowled, obviously annoyed at being reminded of something he had patently forgotten.
"And before you ask it," added Snowy softly, "yes, I want my horn back, more than anything, and all that has happened will be worth just that. But I think, my friend, you were about to question our motives: and I confess mine are not as clear as I thought. I believed I had made up my mind-but I am not sure, not sure . . ."
I could not understand why The Ancient was sowing doubt in our minds, and making even the always-dependable Snowy have second thoughts!