"Glad for him," said Puddy.
"Brave thing to do," said Corby.
"Wish I had seen his prince," said Pisky. "Never seen a prince . . ."
"I wish I was brave," said Moglet. "When Snowy was here he made me braver."
Conn looked at me. "So, now what?"
"I suppose we pack up and go-wherever we belong," I said slowly. "Wherever that may be . . ." I would not look at Conn. "Where"s this "direction" you were talking about, Moglet?"
She led us over to a flat patch of ground. There, forming a rough arrow pointing southwestish, were six feathers. A rook"s and a martlet"s; a sparrow"s and a c.o.c.kerel"s; an owl"s and a dove"s.
Conn took a sighting, then picked up the feathers one by one, scratching his head. "The direction"s clear enough, but what"s the reminder? What have any of us, apart from Corby here, got to do with feathers?"
" "One each," he said," said Moglet. " "So as we wouldn"t forget . . ." "
I looked at the feathers in Conn"s hand. "Some of them do have meanings," I said. "Like flowers . . ."
"Of course! c.o.c.k feather for courage, owl for wisdom; martlet"s traveller"s luck; dove . . . Peace?"
"Or fidelity," said I. "Sparrow is for fecundity-Lots of babies," I explained to Moglet, because we had been talking human-speech.
"And a rook does nothing but chatter, so I suppose that one is for the power of speech," said Conn. "Well, who has what?"
I glanced at the others. "They could apply to us all, one way and another. Why don"t you just pin them to your cloak until we discover which is which?" I said to Conn.
"Right," he said, twisting the feathers into a badge.
"Fleur, is everything packed up? Puddy, into my pocket! Corby, would you take a scan from the top of that tree and see if the path is clear: in line with the oak and the ash . . . Like a top-up before we go, Pisky? Moglet, you can run on a little until you get tired, then I"m sure Thingy-sorry, Fleur, won"t mind carrying you for a while, I"ll take the big pack, girl, if you can manage the other?"
I gazed at him in astonishment. Here was a new Conn, very definitely in command. He caught my gaze and winked. "Amazing what a few feathers will do, isn"t it?"
We left that enchanted place in early summer, but when we left its shelter we found that the world outside was still in early spring and none too warm.
For the first few miles I missed both Snowy and The Ancient, maddening magician that he was. Sometimes I would look up, half-expecting to catch a glimpse of our unicorn. But I knew in my heart that he had gone for ever, and gradually his loss became less hard to bear. But Conn kept up a fast pace with Corby calling out the route from overhead. Moglet continually got lost in the bushes chasing inviting smells. Pisky demanded to stop every time we came to a likely pond. We also had to buy provisions in the first village we came to, and I had Conn"s shirt and my shift to wash as well as a rip in his hose to mend.
We travelled the way The Ancient had indicated, and were happy in each other"s company as every day the light grew stronger, the sun rose higher and the land burgeoned. Every day the animals grew stronger, braver, more capable of providing for themselves, and every night they slept nearby and every morning I found it easier to talk to Conn than to remember their speech, and forgot to remember why . . .
Until one day, just after Conn"s Easter Feast. It had been cold at night and sharp during the day for a week. Spring had held back her buds, but that morning we awoke to a change of wind; a warm southerly breeze shook the pale catkins and ruffled my hair. We had been climbing a small escarpment under a hazy sun, and at midday I suggested we sit under the trees for bread and cheese.
"Can we go just a little further?" asked Puddy, restlessly shifting on webbed feet. "And a bit to the left?"
"What"s "a little further"?"
"I don"t know; just a feeling. Can we?"
If only I had said no-but would it have been any different in the long run?
Instead I picked him up in my hands and followed his directions, the others trailing behind. The land dropped away into a sandy slope, rock-strewn and gorse-covered. Beyond lay scrub, marsh, two ponds- "Oh, Puddy," I said. "Not yet, not yet!"
"But this is the place," he said simply. "My home."
"You can"t! We belong . . ."
"Yes. We belong, and always will. But I had a picture in my mind, and this is it. Sorry, Thing dear, but this is where I want to live out the rest of my life."
He looked up at me. "You wouldn"t want to deny me this?"
I shook my head, not trusting any other form of communication.
"Glad for you," said Corby. "Hope it"s as easy for the rest of us . . ."
"Nice ponds," said Pisky. "But too shallow for me, I suspect; a king-carp wants a larger territory. Still, I"m pleased you have found your destiny so soon. May luck go with you, my friend: cool summers and warm winters and food and company whenever you need it."
"Happiness!" said Moglet.
"Good place for toads, I should think," said Conn. "Shall I carry him down to the nearest pond?"
"Next one"s best," said Puddy. "Doesn"t dry up in a drought, as I remember . .
But I had to carry him, not anyone else. Making my way down between rocks and yellow gorse I trod upon the soft sand where all about me were the tracks of other creatures: water-birds, lizards, frogs, newts, gra.s.s snake, and I saw several toads bound on the same journey as Puddy. A brimstone b.u.t.terfly brushed my cheek and joined another dancing towards the bright waters.
Midges patterned rhythmically above our heads.
Gently I set Puddy down, looking for the last time at that warm, warty little body, the bright eyes, the tapered toes, the gulping throat, and the slight, light scar where the emerald had lived for so long. The wind was soft, the water ruffled with cat"s-paws, and all around bird-song, the calling of frogs late, toads early.
"Oh, Puddy," I said. "I didn"t realize how much it would hurt!"
Conn came over and tickled his finger under Puddy"s chin. "Goodbye, old comrade: it was fun travelling together. Now, go and find a nice young lady toad . . ." I doubted if Puddy understood, for Conn was speaking human.
"Come on, girl, he"ll be just fine now."
But I knelt and cupped Puddy in my hands once more. "I love you," I said.
"Me too, human." He nodded at Conn. "I understood . . . Our ways are different now, but I shall not forget. It was good, was it not?" And he jumped from my hands and waded into the pond, turning at the last moment. "May your destiny be near," he said formally, "and me and mine will always live in peace with you."
"And I with you," I answered, equally formally. "And all creatures that share water and land shall be my concern and that of my children and theirs for ever more."
"Thanks. Can I have my feather? The rook"s, I think: I have rather got out of the way of speech, of gossip . . ."
My fingers trembled as I unfastened the feather from Conn"s jacket. "I"ll stick it here, so you can see it when you come out of the pond . . ."
"Remember me!" he said, and I watched the gallant little form, moving a little stiffly, for he was well into middle-years, toad-time, swim down and down into the depths until he was hidden from view.
From then on it was as if I had forgotten how to speak to his kindred. I could never again, as long as I lived, converse with them as I had once done.
But Moglet snuggled up to me and whispered: "I"ll never leave you . . ."
It was Corby"s turn next.
After three days the wind changed yet again and came gusting in from the northeast, and farmers were looking anxiously at their orchards as the trees tossed and troubled, blossom falling too soon. One morning Corby declined breakfast, but stretched and flapped his wings, rising a few feet, then sinking down again, his eyes bright, his head restless.
"It"s no use," he said at last. "I shall have to go; the winds are calling . . ."
"Oh, no, Corby! Not you, too!" I cried.
"Me too, la.s.s. You knew it had to come."
"But so soon!"
"Human years are not crow years; I"m not a youngster any more, you know."
It was true: around his bill, and under his wing where the sapphire had been, the feathers were greying. "The winds tell me of that village I was speaking of, remember? And I know my brethren are waiting: I can hear them call down the wind. You wouldn"t deny me that, now would you?"
What could I say? But I tried to put him off, till tomorrow, next week- "The winds are right and I can smell my way home. If I wait . . ."
"But-I shall never see you again!"
"Who knows, who knows . . . Better choose a feather, I s"pose . . . Give us the martlet"s: traveller"s luck, that"s what I need." And he tucked it under his wing, where it blended with the rest of his feathers.
I wanted the others to help me to persuade him to stay, but once again they played me traitor.
"Fly the air like water," said Pisky. "And may you have food a-plenty, comradeship, and your choice of the ladies."
"Happiness!" said Moglet.
"Fare you well," said Conn. "Enjoyed your company, bird . . ."
I sank to the ground and held out my arms and he waddled to my lap, his beak nibbling my ear. "Now, come on then, human: your life lies ahead of you too, you know . . . We all knew this had to happen sooner or later, didn"t we? Me and mine will always live in peace with you . . ."
"I love you," I said, and he walked from my lap and rose into the air, at first clumsily, then as a gust of wind caught him, riding the currents easily.
"Me too!" he cried. "It was fun, wasn"t it? Remember me . . ." and he spiralled upwards and then headed northeast into the wind, and the sun hurt my eyes so I could not see for the tears.
"The winds be with you," I said unsteadily. "And all creatures that fly the air shall be my concern and that of my children and theirs for ever more . . ."
But from then on it was as if I had forgotten how to speak to his kindred and I could never again, as long as I lived, converse with them as I had once done.
For days after, whenever I saw an untidy bundle of crow on the ground, or heard their harsh cry or watched their erratic flight in the air, my heart beat faster, hoping against hope that it was Corby. But it never was.
There was no bright destiny waiting for me that I could see. But I had Pisky still, trapped in his bowl, and my beloved Moglet.
And every night now she snuggled up to me and whispered: "I"ll never leave you . . ."
The Loosing: Fish The Lake by the Castle During the next six weeks I was lulled into a sense of false security, for the four of us travelled undisturbed and undivided. There seemed no change in anyone although there was, so subtle that I did not note it at the time. Every day, imperceptibly, Moglet"s and Pisky"s voices dimmed to me and more and more I heard Conn"s. I grew stronger in body, more capable of walking the distances he demanded and, in secret, I bought a mirror at the first opportunity and it was as The Ancient had said: I was pretty, or at least not ugly. I begged silver from Conn for a new dress, sandals, a fillet for my hair and he indulged me without quibble, for we had plenty of dragon-gold to spare.
Once or twice I asked where we were bound, but he only answered that he followed The Ancient"s directions. Still, it was pleasant travelling, for the weather was warm and I did not have to decide anything. There was one puzzling factor: Conn had never again referred to the contract between us; at first I was glad not to have to think of an answer, then I became a little uneasy, and at last I became downright anxious. Had he forgotten? Did he think, perhaps, that my metamorphosis from masked hunchie to presentable female absolved him? Was the new me-because less pitiable, less dependent-less attractive to him also? I longed to ask and almost succ.u.mbed once or twice but held my tongue. I had rather anything than be rejected, for my love, dimmed and almost forgotten sometimes in the trials we had endured, nevertheless had always burned true and clear.
Every day when I woke I checked first to see whether he was awake, perhaps to dwell on his sleeping, unprotected face, mouth calm under the curling red moustache; to watch the fluttering lids, so white against the lean brown cheeks; to touch, perhaps, the unruly curls that framed his head; and then, when he was awake before me, to note with delight the flash of those red- brown eyes, so clear, so positive; and all the while to watch the taut grace, the economy of movement, the sudden, fierce aggression. Had he some goal in mind that did not include me? I tried to remember what he had said that last night round the fire with The Ancient, when we had all eaten those tongue- loosening mushrooms, but could recall very little-something about healing instead of fighting? Memory teased at the fringes of consciousness, a cat"s paw under the curtain.
The beginning of the Month of Maying, Beltane was warm, very warm, and it was with relief that we crested a hill and saw a castle off to our right, the town beneath us.
"Cool ale," said Conn. "And a fresh shirt. This one is in tatters."
"I need more needle and thread," I said. "And more provisions all round."
"Houses mean mice," said Moglet. "And things . . ." She did not specify what.
I looked at her. My kitten no longer, she was grown of a sudden to a full-size cat, small maybe, and dainty, but nevertheless mature.
"Did you say there was a castle?" asked Pisky. "A real one? Lemme see, lemme see . . ."
He was growing out of the bowl I obligingly raised, and he now had twelve snail retainers. His fins were bright red, not gold, and they waved like the pennons on the litter we saw being carried down from the castle towards us.
Pisky contemplated the castle and gave a bob of satisfaction, then his eyes slid sideways. "Is that gleam over there a lake by any chance?"
"Er . . . yes, I believe it is . . ."
"With trees all around, and a sunny bank covered with flowers?"
"Why, yes: but you can"t possibly see-Oh, Pisky . . ."
"I only asked-"
"I know what you asked! And I won"t let you! You can"t walk over there, and I"m not going to take you, and besides the castle probably belongs to someone important and they will chase us away . . ."
I had been standing on the bank to let the litter go by. It swayed with white and gold curtains and was accompanied by six men-at-arms riding before and behind. Conn bowed courteously as it pa.s.sed, the dust from flying hooves powdering his boots. I was so busy reprimanding Pisky that I shook his bowl, to emphasize my displeasure, and water splashed over my bare feet and I had to rescue a snail. There was an unseen command and the liner came to a lurching stop, and twelve unprepared hors.e.m.e.n reined in their skittish mounts with difficulty on the narrow path. The curtains of the litter parted and a dumpy little lady with her grey hair drawn back in an optimistic bun leant out. She spoke to one of the escort and he beckoned to us.
"The Lady Rowena wishes to speak with you!"
Conn held out his hand to me and slowly I descended the bank, Pisky"s bowl in my hands, Moglet keeping pace safely from beneath my skirts. I curtseyed then looked up at the lady shyly. She had merry eyes, a round red face full of fine wrinkles, a generous mouth, and surprisingly looked all-over untidy. The gown she wore, though of stiffened silk, did not sit prettily on her overweight figure, the rings on her fingers were either too tight or too loose, hair wisped about her face because the pins in her bun had come out and she was eating sweetmeats out of a box and dropping the crumbs in her lap. But her voice was surprisingly young, clear and sweet.
"My dears . . . You did not mind me stopping you to have a word?" She didn"t wait for a reply, but first dabbed at her sticky mouth with a linen cloth, then ineffectually flicked at the crumbs. "Oh dear, oh dear, I am so . . . Now, what was I saying? Ah, yes. Stopping you . . . You did say you didn"t mind? But I thought it was-yes, it is!-just what I have been looking for all these years! I send my men far and wide, and seven years ago I was all but promised . . . He said it had been stolen: probably kept it for himself, if the truth were known . .
. Inferior ones I have been offered from time to time, but this!" She tumbled out of the litter, all skirts and grey hair and crumbs, and clasped her hands round Pisky"s bowl. "A king! A king Magnus golden carp! And in such condition! A youngster, not more than twenty years old-they take an unconscionable time a-growing, my dears-and this one has fifty-nay, seventy or more years to go and may end up as long-as long as my arm! And who would have thought . . . It"s my birthday, you see, and I had meant to treat myself to some more . . . But no matter. Just to see him is sweetmeat enough! Here, my handsome fellow: a crumb of something special . . . There!"
And she dropped a sliver of sweet stuff from her sleeve into his bowl.
"What does she say, what does she say?" said Pisky excitedly, between further offerings.
I translated the relevant bits, adding: "And she talks more than you do, even!"
in human speech, but luckily she was casting about for the combs to fasten her hair at the time and didn"t hear me. The combs and pins were all scattered in the dust, and she and Conn b.u.mped heads companionably a couple of times before they were all retrieved.