And to drink a toast to the rebirth of the year, an ice-cold sweet white wine that came, like the silken hangings, from a place called Sissilia . . .
I had antic.i.p.ated taking our journey up again within days, but the visit to church had not done Gill any good-except spiritually, of course. He started to cough again, and Suleiman insisted that he stay quiet and within doors for a week or more at least. This meant that we fell into a certain routine. After breaking our fast we would, Gill and I, go into the solar, where I would take up sewing and mending, which our clothes sorely needed.
I was surprised to find just how much thinner I had become, and the ch.o.r.e of sewing was mixed with a secret delight in being able to take in my clothes as well as patch and repair them. I regretted that my things were so shabby and worn, but they still covered me well enough and I could not afford to indulge in non-necessities. Gill was a different matter. He had been used to so much better, whether he remembered it or not, and as I had taken to exercising Mistral and Growch if the weather was fine, I took the opportunity of buying some rough woolen cloth, burel, and fitting my knight for longer braies and a new surcoat. The town was a pleasant place and obviously Matthew Spicer was held in high regard, for once folk knew we were staying with him-and news travels faster than a gra.s.s fire in a place like that-we were welcomed with smiles and cheerful greetings. I suspect, too, that I was given a special price for my cloth, and for the repair of our shoes which was also essential.
One morning Matthew-he had asked us to dispense with the more formal address-came into the solar looking helpless, a length of fine green wool over his arm. He hesitated for a moment, then asked if I had much sewing in hand.
"Why, no. I have only to finish attaching the ties to these braies. Is there something you would like me to do?"
"Er . . . yes. There is, actually. If you"re sure you don"t mind? I have a sister, married to a Dutchman, and she writes in her letters that she finds it difficult to buy wool in this particular color." He held the soft wool against my shoulder. "Yes, the shade is just right! Her coloring is near yours, and I wonder . . ."
"Yes?" I encouraged, indulgent of this successful man who could yet be so diffident.
"If you could make her a surcoat," he said, all in a rush. "Something simple and serviceable, nothing fancy? You and she are much of a height and size, and if you make generous seams and hems . . . But perhaps I ask too much?"
"Of course not! I only hope I can do this beautiful material justice." I fingered it: strong and hard-wearing, it was still fine enough to hang practically creaseless. "A lovely color: like fresh mint."
He was obviously pleased. "Again, if it"s not too much trouble, she would need two undercottes; I have some fine linen dyed a soft brown which would go nicely. . . ."
It was the least I could do. He had been so kind to us both: a man in a thousand.
During the time I sewed, Gill would be practicing on a small lute Matthew had found, or on my pipes, although he soon became bored and restless; sighing deeply, drumming his fingers on the furniture, yawning. Then I would coax him to sing: "Winter"s weary winds," "Silk for my sweetheart," or, if Matthew joined us, tenor, baritone and soprano would essay a round: "The beggars now have come to town," or something similar.
Afternoons I would read while Gill rested, though if there were a hint of warmth and sunshine I would take a stroll with Growch-who had become so used to Matthew"s majestic cat, Saffron, that they would now share the solar hearth together. In the evenings we played chess or draughts or backgammon, Matthew against Gill and me. Not surprisingly, Gill was familiar with all the games, and once recalled a chess set he had had, each piece carved in relief, birds for red, animals for white. If Suleiman joined us the men would swap rhymes and riddles while I stayed quiet and listened, for it was not proper for women to a.s.sume an equality with men in this sort of area.
If enough wine had been consumed after Suleiman went home, then Gill and Matthew would sing again, each trying to outdo the other. First Gill might chant the "Gaudeamus igitur," Matthew follow this with the drinking song: "Meum est propositum in taberna more" and both finish with the sentimental "My mistress she hath other loves."
We had further snow in mid-January, but by the end of the month Suleiman p.r.o.nounced Gill fit enough to travel. He had been taking more exercise each day and almost looked as good as new. But Matthew was a puzzle: the nearer the time came for us to leave, the more restless he became. Then one night it all became clear. Gill had just retired and Matthew roamed around the solar, then abruptly followed Gill. I stretched and yawned, enjoying a few more moments before the fire, when suddenly the curtain was flung back and Matthew appeared, looking thoroughly upset. Had something happened to Gill? I rose to my feet in alarm.
"Whatever"s the matter?"
He hesitated, then came towards me. His face was all red. "I"m not sure. . . .
Perhaps you can explain?"
"I don"t understand. . . ."
"I-I approached the man you call your brother upon-upon a certain matter, only to be told that you and he were not related at all." He really did look most upset. "I think I deserve an explanation!"
Chapter Sixteen.
So I gave him one.
Not the real, entire, whole truth. He wouldn"t have believed me. He heard about the knight pa.s.sing through our village one day, being ambushed the next and wandering about blinded until I found him by chance and had promised to try and find his home, when it was obvious no one else either believed his story, such as it was, or was willing to help.
I told Matthew how Gill couldn"t even remember his name, that all I could recall was an impression of his standard. I even brought out the sc.r.a.p of cloth I had kept, but he shook his head. No help there. From there it was an easy progression to explaining away the "menagerie," as he called them. My dog, fair enough, a horse to carry our gear, no trouble there. The pigeon? Found wounded, a carrier, unusual color, might breed from him. Satisfactory. The tortoise? Abandoned, feed him up and sell him off. Fine.
The pig was more difficult. Runt of the litter, got him for next to nothing.
Foraged off the land as we pa.s.sed, always a useful standby for barter. He accepted that, too, and I breathed a sigh of relief. No need for him to know we "talked" among ourselves: animals didn"t in Matthew"s circle, in spite of all the folk tales of talking foxes, mice, bears and fish. People should pay more attention to stories: they didn"t make themselves up.
I thought I had gotten away with it beautifully, but there was obviously something still bothering our host. He umm"d and aah"d and then came to the point.
"And you had no hesitation in-in helping this man, Sir Gilman?"
"Of course not! I had nothing to keep me in the village, I had some money put by, and thought I would like to see a little of the world before I settled down.
Besides, if you had seen him that first time, all handsome and elegant, just like a prince in a fairy tale! He was so utterly unattainable, that when I saw him again, all threatened, maimed and desolate, it was like being given a present! Even beaten up and dirty as he was, he was still the handsomest man I had ever seen in my life! And with him being blind, it was like an extra bonus, because-" I stopped. I had given myself away well and truly this time.
He looked at me in a way I couldn"t fathom. "Because what?"
So I told the truth. What did it matter, now? "Because he couldn"t see me; he couldn"t see how fat and ugly I was. And, please G.o.d, he never will. I don"t ever want him to know what I look like: I couldn"t bear it!" I paused: he was looking most odd. "There, now I"ve told you. I would be obliged if you don"t disillusion him." I looked down at my feet-yes, I could just about see them now-feeling very uncomfortable; I hated remembering my ugliness, my obesity.
But he didn"t give me time to feel sorry for myself. "Fat?" he said. "Ugly?
Whatever in the world gave you that idea? A little on the plump side, perhaps, a comfortable armful for any man, but ugly? Not at all! You have lovely greeny-grey eyes, a straight nose and-"
"Please don"t!" I cried. "You"re only making it worse!" I lost all discretion: kindness and tact could go too far. I knew what I looked like: hadn"t I seen my reflection in the river often enough? Piggy eyes, squabby nose, double chins and all? And Mama had sighed, but added that my superior education and dowry would "go a long way towards overcoming" my other deficiencies. "You know perfectly well that in a million million years I could never attract a man like Gill, that the only time I will ever be able to hold his hand, care for him, gaze unhindered on his beautiful face, is now, when he"s blind!"
"You-you love him, then?"
"Of course I do! How could I not? He is the sort of man every woman dreams about, and I am lucky, lucky, that even part of that dream has come true! I don"t want to find his home, I don"t want him ever to see again, may G.o.d forgive me!" Suleiman had examined his eyes and could find no obvious cause for the sudden blindness and loss of memory, except the blow to the head. He had advised him that memory might return gradually and he could even regain his sight one day as quickly as it had gone, if the circ.u.mstances were right-what circ.u.mstances he wasn"t prepared to say. "I shouldn"t have said that, I know I shouldn"t, but each day I have him as he is, is one day s.n.a.t.c.hed from heaven!"
Matthew looked completely different: older, greyer, sort of crumpled. "I did not realize. . . ."
"And neither does he!" I said quickly. "He treats me like a sister since we decided on the story we told you earlier: it is easier to travel that way."
He gathered his robes tightly around him as if he were suddenly cold. "Don"t worry: your secret is safe with me. . . ."
The next time we were on our own I asked Gill how he had come to betray our true relationship.
He laughed. "You won"t believe this, Summer, but he actually came and asked me, as your brother and next of kin, if he had my permission to pay court to you! Of course I couldn"t say yea or nay, could I? So I had to tell him we weren"t related. Anyway, I gather you must have talked your way out of it.
Pity: you could have done worse, I imagine, and he seemed very taken. . . ."
Just imagine what my mother would have said! She would have considered him the perfect catch. "You should have had more sense!" I could hear her scolding. "What future is there traipsing around the countryside with a blind and helpless knight, handsome though he may be, when there is absolutely no future in it? Here is a comfortable home, a good-natured husband who is bound to die before you and leave you with his wealth; you just haven"t the sense you were born with!" and then she would have given me a good beating, and it would have been no use pointing out that I had no idea Matthew felt that way.
Too late now, and it wouldn"t have made any difference if I had known: my heart, for however short the time, was given to Gill. I was truly sorry if I had hurt Matthew, but I hoped it wouldn"t spoil our last few days with him.
I needn"t have worried; he was quieter than usual perhaps, and spent more time at his work, but there were no sulks, no reproaches, although I sensed he was under strain and would be glad when we were gone. Suleiman was going to supervise a consignment of spices further north and it had been agreed we would accompany him as far as the crossroads on the main north-south highway, for we had indeed come much too far east for our purpose.
So we set off at Candlemas, in a fine drizzle, all save Mistral safe under cover of one of the wagons, with Matthew out to see us go. I watched him dwindle on the road and then vanish as we turned the corner towards the countryside.
I said a short prayer for his future well-being: I felt sorry for him, but had no regrets as to my decision.
"Nice to be on the road again," said Gill. "Perhaps this time I can get nearer home. . . ."
I think the animals felt the same way. The rest and food had benefited them all: Mistral had filled out and her coat shone with regular brushing; Basher was eating a little and still sleeping a lot, but Traveler"s wing was almost healed and he was taking short flights with increasing regularity. The biggest change of all was in the Wimperling. He had grown almost out of recognition; he was three times as big as before, easily, and tubby with it. No more lifts in the pannier for him: he would have to walk with the rest of us. There seemed to be changes in his shape as well. His nose was longer, the claws on his hooves were bigger, his rump was higher than his head and the vestigial wings were vestigial no longer, in fact they looked definitely uncomfortable.
In fact he looked so odd that the first thing I did that first night on the road was to fashion him a sacking coat that at least hid the worst of his strangeness. Funnily enough, though, other people didn"t seem to notice he was any different from a normal pig. Very strange . . .
Too soon our journey in comfort came to an end. At the crossroads, the third day after we had set out, I loaded up Mistral once more, checked and double- checked that everything was where it should be, then turned to say good-bye and thanks to Suleiman. He handed me a parcel.
"You"ll have to find room for this," he said. "It"s from Matthew."
Inside were the green woolen dress and undershifts I had made for Matthew"s sister. "He must have made a mistake. . . ."
Suleiman smiled. "No mistake. He has no sister, never had." He handed me a small leather purse. "He said this was for the extra care of your knight."
Inside were five gold coins. "He asked me to remind you that love cannot feed on thin air, and that the rain and wind are no discriminators. . . ."
Less than an hour later we were lucky enough to catch up with a small caravan of pilgrims and journeymen; the weather fined up, the road was easy, other travelers joined us. We became friendly with our companions of the road, swapping experiences and comparing dogs and horses: I even remember boasting that Growch was the cleverest dog for miles and that our pig could count to twenty-and this last idiocy got us into real trouble.
It all started about two weeks after we had left the crossroads. It was around midday, the sun was shining, a soft breeze came from the south, the gra.s.s was looking greener than it had for months, little shoots were p.r.i.c.king up through the earth, buds were starting to uncurl on bush and shrub, birds were becoming much more urgent in their courting and I was planning ahead for the next two days" meals. Someone ahead was singing a catchy little tune, behind us a baby was being hushed; Gill was whistling the same tune as the singer, the pigeon was giving his wings a tryout on Mistral"s back and- -and they came out of the woods on our left with a clatter of arms and thud of hooves. A dozen or so men, mounted and in half-armor, all in burgundy livery. They clattered to a halt and their leader drew his sword.
"Halt! Halt, I say! Stay right where you are, or it will be the worse for you!"
Panic does all sorts of strange things to people. Some freeze in their tracks, others run, it doesn"t matter where; others scream and scream; some faint, others wet themselves. Remembering the last attack in which I was involved, I was about to run to the shelter of the tree-we were at the back, and I could probably have made it-but was brought up short remembering Gill and the others.
At least they weren"t killing anybody yet, but a couple of the soldiers cantered down to our end and rounded up the stragglers.
"Move along there, now: not got all day . . ."
Now we were circled by restive, sweating horses, stamping their hooves, tossing their heads till the harness jingled. Behind me someone was moaning in terror. I reached for Gill"s hand, whispered what was happening, conscious of Growch"s unease, of the Wimperling rock-steady at my other side. My ring wasn"t sending out signals, either.
The leader of the troupe stood in his stirrups and addressed us.
"Just shut up, the lot of you, and listen to me! I mean you, you miserable worms! I am Captain Portall from the Castle of the White Rock-look, if you aren"t quiet I shall be forced to make you. . . ." and he raised his sword threateningly. "That"s better. . . ." He gazed around us, his expression adequately conveying just what a sorry lot we were, how far below his normal consideration, and just how wearisome he found the whole business. "Now, as I said, I am from White Rock Castle, and my lady Aleinor is bored-even more bored than I am in talking to you peasants." He brushed at his drooping mustache with a mailed fist. "And when the lady is bored we all suffer! And her husband and four sons being off on some crusade or other doesn"t help; she wants cheering up, does the lady, and that"s what I"m here for." He looked at us all once more, even more despondently. "Now, what I want to know is, which of you likely lot has the skills to entertain a lady? And you can drop that sort of thought," he said threateningly at a ribald sn.i.g.g.e.r from somewhere at the back. "I mean singing, dancing, tumbling, juggling, minstrelsy, tricks, that sort of rubbish. Trifles to amuse, tales to entertain, ballads to hearten- something to make her laugh, dammit! Come now, half-a-dozen volunteers . .
Such was my relief at realizing that we were not about to be hacked to death, robbed or raped that I paid little attention to the captain"s speech. Everyone else began to relax also, picking up whatever they had dropped, gathering their scattered belongings, chattering among themselves.
"Well, that"s that!" I said to Gill confidently. "We should be on our way-"
"I meant what I said!" suddenly shouted the captain. "Unless I find volunteers to accompany me back to the castle to entertain the Lady Aleinor, there will be . . . trouble! And I mean trouble! I want half-a-dozen right now: if not, I shall start stringing you all up, one by one!" He leaned from his horse and grabbed a man by his ear. "And we"ll start with this one!"
A woman and girl started wailing, and everyone seemed to shrink into little family and friends groups. The circle grew smaller as the horses closed in.
Fear became something you could touch and smell.
"Well? I"m waiting. I shall count to ten. One, two, three . . ."
"I"ve done a bit of juggling in my time." A man pushed forward. "Nothing fancy, mind . . ."
"You"ll do." Captain Portall released the ear he was holding and rose in his stirrups once more. "Who else? You"ll get a meal and a handful of silver if you please the lady. Come on, now. . . ."
"Should have mentioned that earlier," muttered a man to my left. He raised his hand. "I know a ballad or two might suit her."
One by one we got a tumbler and his son, a teller of tales, a man who could twist himself into impossible positions.
"Is that all? I"m disappointed, very disappointed! Singers, tumblers, a juggler, contortionist, story-teller: can"t any of you do something different?"
To my horror one of our fellow travelers piped up with: "That girl over there, the one with the blind brother, she"s got a dog what does tricks and a pig that counts. . . ."
I could have sunk straight into the ground! What a fool, what an utter idiot I had been to boast in such a way the other night! And it was lies, all lies- But the captain on his horse was towering over us. "A counting pig? Now that is different. Never come across one of those before. Right, that"s enough! Get them all organized, men! This the pig? I"ll take him, then." And before I knew it he was down, had heaved up the Wimperling onto his saddle bow and remounted. "Heavy, isn"t he?" and he turned and trotted off.
What could we do but follow? We couldn"t desert the pig.
Our anxious way took us down a broad ride of the wood for perhaps a half mile, the fallen leaves of the autumn before m.u.f.fling the thud of the escort"s hooves, the c.h.i.n.king of the harness echoed by the chattering of a jay as it jinked away to the left. About twenty minutes later we came through thinning trees into the afternoon February sunshine and saw a picture that might have graced a Book of Hours.
Perhaps a couple of miles away, girdled by the neatest fields I had ever seen, rose the towers of faery. Perched on a grey-white outcrop of rock, from where we stood it looked insubstantial, a building from the edges of dream. There were four towers of unequal height, one much taller than the others. The castle itself was built from white stone, just whiter than the rock from which it rose; silhouetted against the clear, blue winter sky it looked like something one could cut from card.
As we drew nearer we could see the crenellations along the walls and even small figures patrolling the perimeters, and the road along which we traveled curving up towards a drawbridge and portcullis, over what looked like a moat of some kind. On our travels we had glimpsed other castles in the distance, most of them squat and frowning, with solid grey foundations and the hunched look of a sick animal, but this was quite different. Apart from its coloring, the way it seemed to spring upwards out of the rock, there were colored flags fluttering from the gateway, and the thin sound of a trumpet announcing our arrival.
We were traveling through fields plowed or already sown, through orchards of fruit trees beneath which not a single weed could be seen-unlike the unfamiliar orange groves outside the last town we had visited, the goat"s-foot trefoil beneath their trunks a yellow so bright it seared the eye-and past the twisted, bare branches of dead-looking vines, that later would cl.u.s.ter with heavy grapes. There was also an avenue of pollarded oaks, their k.n.o.bbed branches giving no hint of the summer lushness to come. Everything neat, everything tidy, not a wavy line in the plowing, not a weed in the fields, not a dead leaf on the paths. Perhaps I had an untidy mind, but I would have welcomed a little disarray, a hint that outside belonged to nature as well as man.
Small houses were cl.u.s.tered at the foot of the White Rock, all as spic and span as the rest, and these we pa.s.sed, together with the huge communal bread ovens, as we trudged up the sudden steep ascent to the castle proper and clattered over the short drawbridge. I peered over the edge as I pa.s.sed: as I thought, a dry moat, and judging by the stench and the brown streaks down the walls that had not been evident from a distance, showing that refuse from the kitchens and garde-robes was allowed to flow unchecked, it was evident that there was no constant source of water. The creaking of the portcullis preceded us, but it needed only to be drawn halfway for us all to squeeze beneath.
We found ourselves in a large, cobbled courtyard, full of noise and bustle.
Horses were being curried and exercised, wagons loaded and unloaded, soldiers were practicing with short swords, others examining armor and mail newly come from the sand barrels that were rolling up and down a short slope. A bowyer was stringing bows, a fletcher feathering arrows, an armorer busy at his anvil. Stable boys were shoveling ordure into an empty cart and a couple of cooks were gutting and jointing venison. The noise was indescribable.
Captain Portall dismounted his troop and started issuing orders as to our disposition. He lifted the Wimperling from his saddle with a look of distaste: the pig had just let loose a series of little popping farts.
Once down, the Wimperling nudged me. "We must be together. . . ."
"Right!" Captain Portall turned to me. "You and you-" he pointed to Gill: "- over there in one of those huts. Animals in the stables. Gerrout, you mangy hound!" and he aimed a kick at Growch, who was trying to christen his boots.
"Whose is this?"
"Mine," I said firmly. "Just like the horse and the pig. All part of our act. And if you want a decent performance for your-your lady tonight, you"ll see we are kept together. To rehea.r.s.e," I added. "It is a couple of months since we have performed together. I presume you want us to be at our best?"
It worked. Ten minutes later we were snug in a stall at the end of the stables nearest the entrance, and a sullen stable boy was bringing hay, oats, mash and buckets of water.
"Two more buckets," I said firmly, twisting the ring on my finger to give courage. "This time of hot water. And towels. Hurry, boy."
Then I had to explain everything to Gill: where we were, what we were supposed to be doing.