He didn"t know? "And in any case I don"t think Noah would have been able to cope with a pair of dragons in his Ark. It must have been difficult enough putting lions and sheep with rats and camels. . . ."
He was laughing now. "Oh Summer-Talitha, you take things so seriously, so literally!"
I was so happy to see him back to normal, as it were, that I couldn"t take offense. I knew what was right, so what the dragons believed in didn"t matter.
"And the Council?" I prompted.
"All the Master Dragons who survive, eleven in all."
"And where is the Council?"
"You"ve seen them."
"I have?"
"Of course!" He smiled again. "Let us say they saw you, and the dog. They told me so."
"The Blue Mountain?"
"Yes."
"But there was nothing there-except rocks and stones and pebbles and dust and a nasty smell."
"Rocks and pebbles? Are you sure?"
I remembered something Ky-Lin had said: "Rocks are rocks are rocks, you know. . . ."
"You mean-the cavern was full of dragons? The rocks . . ."
"Yes."
"And the pebbles?"
"Treasure. Heaps of it."
So d.i.c.kon had been right after all! There had been a fabulous treasure waiting at the end of our journey. . . .
I was silent for a moment. "How do they hide-look like rocks?"
"A mist of illusion. Easy stuff."
"But don"t you think it"s an awful waste having all that treasure just sitting there doing nothing?"
"It"s very pretty. A delight to run between one"s claws, to taste with one"s tongue. Did you know all jewels taste different? Like bonbons do to humans . .
. Myself, I prefer the tang of a fire opal."
I thought he might be joking, but a glance told me he wasn"t.
"I still think it"s a waste."
"Why? What about all those kings and princes, merchants and misers who do precisely the same thing? They have rooms full of treasure that never see the light of day. What about those who bury treasure so it is lost forever? What about those vandals that actually destroy what you would call treasure, just for the joy of it? Why should a few ageing dragons be denied their simple pleasures? Which is worse: to steal a jewel every now and again, or to take lives in the name of religion, or whatever?"
"But dragons eat people, too!" I remembered the tales of my childhood; beautiful damsels chained to rocks, children offered up, young men stripped naked to fight with a wooden sword a battle they could not hope to win.
"Perhaps some did, once. There were many more of us then. Now we eat seldom, and then only to fuel our fires, speed our wings. And there are not many of us left who undertake journeys of any distance."
"Why?"
"Most of them are too old, some well over the thousand-year norm. All they want is a little heat, a little sleep, and their memories. They are great tale- tellers. To them the puny adventures and battles and wars of humankind are like a breath, soon expended."
I wondered. Sometimes he spoke of "us," sometimes of "them." Was this because of the life he was forced to lead? A quarter man, three-quarters dragon? I must try and keep him thinking of dragons as "them," and concentrate on making him feel like a man.
"Well, waste or no, I didn"t come all this way for treasure," I said, choosing my words carefully.
"Why, then?" He released my hands and slipped an arm about my waist.
"Adventure? Curiosity?"
No, Love, you great idiot! I thought, but of course didn"t say it. "A little of both, I suppose," I said. "All that travelling we did, while you were still the Wimperling, gave me a taste for it. Besides which, I have had a chance of earning my own living. Real money . . ."
"And where did you pick up that little thief, d.i.c.kon, again?"
I explained. "I kept trying to leave him behind, but he persisted in believing that I was after treasure, dragon treasure. Thank G.o.d he has given up that idea and gone off for a couple of days looking for trading opportunities."
"Oh, I don"t think he has given up. Did you tell him about your visit to the Blue Mountain?"
"Yes, but-"
"I flew over his encampment earlier, frightened his horse off into the bush.
Take him the best part of a day to catch up with it again."
"You don"t mean . . ."
"I do mean. He"s camped at the foot of the Blue Mountain, and tomorrow, if I"m not much mistaken, he"ll be climbing the path you took, looking for the treasure!"
Chapter Twenty.Eight.
The crafty devil! Telling me he was looking for new opportunities, and making me pay for yet another treasure hunt! I should never have told him about the Blue Mountain; it was obvious he hadn"t believed me.
"He won"t find anything, will he?"
"No more than you did."
"Well, I hope he falls off the path!" I said crossly. "He"s been nothing but trouble ever since we met up again."
"Tell me . . ." and he spread out his cloak on the stone flags of the little garden, sat cross-legged and pulled me down beside him. "I want to hear everything that"s happened to you since the Place of Stones."
I glossed over that dreadful journey back to Matthew"s, for after all it wasn"t his fault I had near starved to death; I told him of my decision to turn down Matthew"s offer (but not the real reason), made him smile over my forgeries of the merchant"s signature and running off dressed as a boy to seek my fortune. I made my adventures as amusing as I could: storm at sea, ambush, imprisonment, the bog, bandits, the Desert of Death and the hairy people.
When I had finished he ruffled my hair, leant forward and kissed my cheek.
"I reckon it was a good job you had your friend Ky-Lin with you. I have heard of them, but never seen one. You could have easily died a dozen times without him. . . ." He frowned. "But all this doesn"t explain why you left the caravan trails and came this way."
Ah, Jasper, my love, this was the difficult part. . . .
"I wanted to see you again," I said lightly. "Man-dragons are a little out of my experience, you see. Added to that, the coins my father left me led me all the way across every country to this one. And on Matthew"s maps this part was marked: "Here be Dragons." Simple as that."
"Was it? Was it really?" He slipped his arm about my waist again. "You know something? I went back to look for you after I made my initial journey here. I worried that you would find it difficult to find your merchant"s house again.
But you had vanished from the face of the earth! Nice to know you were all right." He cuddled me closer. "Well, now that you"ve found your man-dragon again, what do you want of him?"
"A couple of kisses," I said promptly. "Proper ones. Not no-commitment-it"s- dangerous-you-mustn"t-get-entangled-with-a-dragon-man. Neither should it be let"s-have-a-laugh-and-a-kiss-and-say-good-bye! I want you to pretend," I snuggled up closer, "just for a moment, that I am the most desirable woman in the world. . . ." My hand stroked his cheek. "I am a princess under a spell, and only you can break the ice about her heart." Had I gone too far? "It"s not a lot to ask, it can"t threaten your life! You"re not going to change back into a pig, or anything like that-"
"I should hope not!"
He was chuckling; that was encouraging. At least there was no outright rejection.
"Well, then?" Now for it; my heart was beating uncomfortably fast and loud.
"Or can"t you pretend?"
"I don"t need to pretend," he said, and gathered me in his arms.
At first he just held me close, his hands stroking my hair, my cheeks, my hands. Every time he touched me my inside tangled itself up into knots and I feared he would hear my heart, but he hummed a gentle little droning song, as soothing as the sound of a hive or the turning of a spinning wheel.
Gradually the tune and his gentle touch calmed my mind, but not my body.
I was aware of my skin, my blood, my bones. I could see his shadowy face bent over mine; I could hear his soft voice, with the slight grating tone in the lower notes; in the air was the pungency of the rough-headed autumn plants in pots in the garden, the night-wind smell of Jasper"s clothes, and a certain slightly musky scent that seemed to come from his skin. My whole body was stimulated to a point I had not thought possible, and now came the taste of his lips.
I thought of the tang of burnt sugar, the bitter black heart of an opium poppy, the smoke from autumn bonfires, the cold, iron smell of ice and snow, newly washed linen sun-dried, the sharp bite of a juicy apple, a snuffed candle-then I didn"t think at all.
At first he was experimenting with my lips and tongue, but gradually as he pulled me closer I knew that at last it was me, me, me! that he wanted. I didn"t care if it was l.u.s.t without love, desire without commitment, I just kissed him back with all my heart. His hands found my b.r.e.a.s.t.s, his body was full of a hard urgency that found a response in my yielding form.
"Summer Talitha," he murmured. "My little love . . ."
For answer I pulled him down so we rested together on his cloak, our bodies inhibited only by the clothes we wore. For a brief instant it seemed he might think better of it, but then I took over the caressing, my fingers moving on his chest and stomach, untying the laces of his trews, my mouth thrust up hungrily to his. . . .
And then it was too late for either of us.
I remember the rip of silk as my dress parted company with its st.i.tches; I remember the feel of his crisp, dark hair under my fingers, the rasp of his beard against my cheek; I remember stifling my cries in the soft skin where his neck met his shoulder; I remember, oh I remember the hard thrusts I welcomed with fierce ripostes of my own; I remember-but there are no words to describe the cascades of delight that followed, never will be. No words, no music, no painting: nothing can adequately portray raw emotion like that. Until you have felt it you will never know, and if you have you will realize it is beyond description.
Afterwards we lay in each other"s arms. Only now did my cheeks sting where his beard had rubbed them; only now was I conscious of the uncomfortable rucks of the cloak beneath us; only now did my insides ache with an inward tension as though they pulled against a cat"s cradle of tiny inside st.i.tches. I was sticky and sweaty, but so was he, and it didn"t matter.
He stirred, sighed, stroked my hair. "You are a witch, girl: you know that?"
He leant up on one elbow and gazed down at me. "You realize I had no intention of that happening?"
"I know." I put up a finger and traced the line of his nose. "But I did." I sat up.
"And you wanted it too."
"Maybe. But it was wrong, wrong! We shouldn"t have done it."
"Why not? Who are we hurting?"
"Ourselves." His voice was bitter. "In time I could have forgotten you and, whatever you think now, you would have forgotten me too. But now I shall always want you. You will always want me. If we looked for love elsewhere, or tried to do without, we should both think only of each other. We have forged a link that can never be broken."
"But that was the way I wanted it-"
"You didn"t understand what you were getting yourself into. We can never be together, don"t you understand? And you will suffer more than I. In my dragon form I can forget you for three-quarters of the year, but you-you will never forget!"
"Then I shall wait for the quarter-year you are a man," I said obstinately.
"Wherever it is. That will be enough for me. Three months with you is better than none at all."
He rose to his feet in one swift movement and crossed to the bal.u.s.trade. His whole posture was stiff, his hands clenched on the stone, his shoulders raised, his head bent.
"It"s impossible."
I went to stand at his side, clutching at my torn gown, aware all at once of a chill wind that blew from the north, making the stars shiver in sympathy. The moon was down, but a pale light had followed her descent, a trace of silver on the permanent snows.
"Why is it impossible? Don"t you want to see me again?"
He glanced at me, but I couldn"t see his expression. "Of course I want to be with you, as often as I can-but that is just the point. It"s not possible!"
"But why, if you want to? What"s to stop you?"
He turned, gripped my shoulders. "It"s not as simple as you seem to think! If I could know for sure, say to you: all right, my dear, my love, I am yours from November until January. Find us a house where we can be one for those three months of the year. . . . Or if I could say: I can be with you in March, May and September, find me that house etc."
He released me, leant over the bal.u.s.trade again. "But it doesn"t work that way: I wish it did. I just don"t have those certainties. These-" he gestured at himself "-these remissions, if you can call them that, give me very little warning. At first, they gave me none at all and it was dangerous. Then I had no idea how long they would last either: five minutes, five hours, five days. . .
He traced the line of my jaw with his finger. "That was one of the reasons I gave up looking for you; it was too unpredictable, the time I could spend asking questions, and twice I nearly got killed." He sighed. "It has become easier, like changing to come and see you. I can control it for a couple of hours or so, and if it is going to be longer, a week or so, I get a warning beforehand, a sort of painless headache. But I still don"t know how long it will last."
I was devastated. "But-"
"No," he said firmly. "I couldn"t live with you all the time. My dragon side is too unpredictable. Nor could you keep me in a shed at the bottom of the garden betweenwhiles, just waiting for my nicer side to come out. I think the neighbors might object," he added, with a smile. "Oh, come on darling: we"ll think of something!"
"But what?" I was close to tears.