She was full-grown now, but I saw with a stab of pity how much smaller she was than the other mares. Her hard life had stunted her growth. Would the great stallion consider mating with one so undersized? Could she carry a foal to full term and deliver it successfully? To me she was the most beautiful of all those beautiful horses, but would they see it that way?
My eyes filled with tears. It was the tortoise and the pigeon repeated again.
Why could not their lives be as perfect as they deserved? One robbed of his home and forced to fight a wilder existence, another living in the wrong place, and now one handicapped among her peers by the life she had been forced to lead. If these were to be the precedents, then what in the world would happen to Growch, the Wimperling, Gill and me?
"We keep thirty horses in the stables," said Gill suddenly. "My stallion is called Fleetfoot, but I take Dainty when I go falconing. My tiercel kills rooks and we . . ." He trailed off. "I forget. . . ."
I opened my mouth but was interrupted by Growch"s salt-roughened bark.
"Better get "ere quick! The blankets is soaked and yer pots and pans is floating out to sea. . . ."
Midsummer"s Day, and we were no nearer finding Gill"s home. Yet there seemed no hurry. Deceived by a summer dreaminess we drifted down tiny lanes and dusty highways, the former further drowsing us with the honey- sweet scent of hawthorn and showering us in the pale petals of the hedge rose, the latter a patchwork of blinding white road and the black shadow of forest.
Everywhere color brightened the eye; scarlet poppies shaking out their crumpled petals, gold-hearted daisy and camomile, creamy elder and sweet cecily, sky-blue lungwort, vinca and chicory, pink mallow and bindweed, white asphodel, purple vetches. And all the greens in the world: willow, beech, oak, ash, pine, fir, reed, duckweed, gra.s.s, ground elder, horsetail, clover, moss, nettle, sorrel, ivy, bracken-grey-green, red-green, blue-green, yellow-green, shock-green and baby green: both a stimulus and a soothing to the eyes. There was color, too, in the myriads of b.u.t.terflies, in the dragon- and damsel-flies and even in the barbaric stripes of wasp and hornet.
The spring shrillness of the birds had abated somewhat; at one end of their scales was the brisk morning chirping of sparrows scavenging hay and straw for seeds and the faraway bubble of ascending larks; in the middle, hot afternoons held the sleepy croon of wood pigeons and the evening sky rang with the high scream of swifts scything the sky. We pa.s.sed lakes and ponds where frogs barked like terriers and sudden splashes marked the recklessness of mating fish; whirring gra.s.shoppers sprang from beneath our feet, bees and hummingbird hawk moths droned like bagpipes, cicadas sawed away incessantly and great June Dugs racketed clumsily by.
We were surrounded, too, by the particular scents of summer; not just the dried dung and dust of the highways, the pungent smells of gra.s.s and leaves after rain, the thin, evocative perfume of wildflowers, but sudden surprises: a pinch of fresh mint, crush of thyme and rosemary underfoot, warm river water, salty smells of fresh sweat, the clean smell of drying linen, the oily smell of resin from fresh-cut logs stacked to dry for winter and the gentle, fading scent of drying hay.
Different tastes, too. Salads instead of stew, fresh meat instead of salted, plenty of eggs and milk, newly brewed ale. Fish and eel and sh.e.l.lfish from the rivers, b.u.t.ter and cheese so light they had practically no taste at all. A deal of vegetables I could collect myself from the fields and woods: hop tips, ground elder, duckweed, dent-de-lion, nettle, wood sorrel, broom buds, ash keys, young bracken fronds and the leaves of wild strawberry and violet. Chopped up with a little oil and salt and eaten with a hunk of cheese and fresh rye bread it made a feast.
Not that we were short of food. If there was a fair, a saint"s day or a local fiesta, out would come my pipe and tabor and Gill would sing, Growch would "dance for the lady," answer yes or no and "die for his country." My instructions to him were simple enough; the "dance" consisted of him chasing his tail, yes and no barking once or twice, nodding or shaking his head- "bend your head down as if you had fleas under your chin, shake your head as if you had mites in your ears-you haven"t, have you?"-and dying was merely lying down and pretending to go to sleep. But he had a short attention span, and if we really wanted to bring in more than a few coppers then the Wimperling would do some of his tricks.
He was still growing-which was just as well, for he was needed to share with Gill and me the carrying of our bundles-but still people saw him as smaller than he was: in fact one traveler accused us of overloading him! But he was looking at a pig he expected to see, as the Wimperling reminded me, not the giant he had become.
June became a warm, thundery July. Once I had decided that Gill"s home must lie farther north-for he had not recognized many of the plants I had described to him, nor the terrain this far south-I led them first east northeast then west northwest as best my judgment and the countryside would allow, trying to cover both the left-hand side of the triangle the monk had described and the bisection of the whole at one and the same time.
Gill was recalling more and more as the days went by; little inconsequential things for the most part, like a favorite tapestry; the pool where they bred carp for the table, the time he was sc.r.a.ped by a boar"s tusk-sure enough, there was a crescent scar on his thigh. Once or twice he did remember facts relevant to our search. I already knew there were no mountains, I realized that if he went falconing for rooks his home was probably surrounded by fields of grain crops and there must be woodland or forest for both the birds and wild boar; now he talked of the Great Forest half a day"s ride across the plain where once the king had hunted. Which king? He shook his head. He also spoke of the wide and lazy river that curved round the estate, but again a name meant nothing.
So we were looking for a province of plains, rivers and forests, and as he never spoke of the sea we didn"t travel too far west and kept the mountains to a distance. I continued to question people we met and showed them the sketch I had made of Gill"s escutcheon, also the sc.r.a.p of silk I had kept, but they all shrugged their shoulders and shook their heads.
The breakthrough, when it came, was entirely unexpected.
We had lodged on the outskirts of a largish town overnight, on the promise of celebrations for St. Swithin on the following day. There was to be a fair in the marketplace and dancing in the church yard, plus the usual roasts. I groomed both Growch and the Wimperling thoroughly, a ribbon round the neck of one, the tail of the other. The skies remained clear and as long as the prayers at Ma.s.s that morning were efficacious, it would remain that way until harvest, so the superst.i.tion went.
We did well in the marketplace, for folk were happy at the prospect of a good harvest, and wished to relax and enjoy themselves. There were other attractions of course, but a counting pig was still a novelty, and I collected enough coins that afternoon and early evening to keep us going for a week or two.
As it grew dusk, great torches were stuck in the ground and lanterns hung from the branches of the trees, and the people gathered to dance away an hour or so as the lamb carca.s.ses turned slowly on the spits set in a corner of the square. A traveling band-bagpipes, two shawm, a fiddle, trumpet, pipe and tabor and a girl singer with a tambourine-performed for the dancers.
Round followed reel and back again, until the dust was soon rising from the ground with the pounding and stamping of feet, jumps and twirls. When they paused for breath jugs of ale were brought out from the nearest tavern, and enterprising bakers sent their a.s.sistants round with trays of pies and sweetmeats.
As Gill couldn"t see to dance I had not joined in, though my feet were tapping impatiently to the music. During one of the intervals I brought out the Wimperling again for a few more coins, then went and joined the line for slices of roast lamb and bread. Afterwards we sat for a while longer, watching and listening. As the evening wore on and it became quite dark, one by one the dancers dropped out, exhausted; couples snuggled up to one another in the shadows, children fell asleep in their parents" laps, babies were suckled, dogs snapped and snarled over the sc.r.a.ps, the church bells sounded for nine o"clock and some went in to pray. Somewhere a nightingale provided a soft background for the girl with the tambourine to sing simple, sad songs of love, of longing, of childhood.
She sang without other accompaniment than her tambourine, just an occasional tap or shake to emphasize a word, a phrase. She sang as if to herself and to listen seemed almost like eavesdropping. It was so soothing that I found myself nodding off, and was just about to gather us all together and find our lodgings, when Gill suddenly gave a great start as though he had been bitten.
"That song . . . !"
Song? A sentimental song of swallows, eternal summer, of home. One I had never heard before, with a plaintive descending refrain.
"What about it?"
But he wasn"t listening to me, and when she started on the second verse, to my amazement he joined in, at first hesitantly, as though he had difficulty remembering the words, then more confidently. At first they sang in unison, then he took the harmony in the last verse.
"The sun is warm, the wind is soft, O"er wood and plain, house and croft; I long to wake again at dawn, In the land where I was born. . . ."
Gill looked as though he had awakened from a dream and to my embarra.s.sment I saw that tears were pouring down his cheeks. He rose to his feet.
"The singer . . . Take me to her!"
But she had come over to us. "Congratulations, stranger: you sing well. But where did you learn that song?" Close to she was no girl. The paint on her cheeks, eyes and mouth had disguised at a flattering torchlit distance that she must be at least thirty. "I had thought no one outside my own province knew it. Do you come from there?"
Gill stretched out his hand to her, and it was shaking. Quickly I explained his condition and that we sought his home, and this was the first real clue we had had.
"Tell me, are there great plains, a big river, forests, much grain growing?" I was trying to remember all Gill had recalled.
"a.s.suredly the land is flat. There are cattle, many fields of grain, great orchards-"
"Apples," said Gill. "And plum and cherry."
She glanced at him. "You are right. And there are wide rivers, and forests stretching as far as the eye can see. Can you not remember your name, now?"
He shook his head. "But I know that is where I come from," and his voice was strong with a confidence I had never heard in him before. "My nurse taught me that song when I was scarce out of the cradle." He turned to me. "That is the way we must go, don"t you see? Oh, Summer, take me there, take me there!" And now his tears were spilling down onto the skin of my arm, warm as summer rain.
"Of course we will!" I turned to the singer. "Thank you so much, you don"t know how much this means! We have been searching for nine months, so far.
. . . Here, do you recognize this emblem?" and I pulled the sc.r.a.p of silk from my purse.
She peered at it, listened to what else I could recall of it, but shook her head regretfully. "No, but it is a large country. I come from the southeast, but your-your friend may well live to the north and west. But you can ask again when you get there."
"How far away is it?" asked Gill eagerly. "How long will it take us?"
She shook her head again. "Straight, I do not know. Many days. You will have to ask my husband. We travel as the will and the weather take us, following as best we can fairs and feast days, the larger towns." She turned and beckoned, and the short, dark man who had been playing the fiddle joined us.
Once she had explained he, too, shook his head. "It lies to the northwest of here, but I can give you no direct route. If you head that way, and take the better roads, it might take a month, perhaps two. It depends on the roads, the weather, your pace, as you must know. If you are lucky, you will reach there in time for harvest-"
"The best time of the year," murmured Gill. "Great feasts, hunting songs, dancing . . . We must start at dawn."
"Yes, yes, of course," I said. "But now we must sleep. In this weather it"s better to travel early and late and rest at midday-"
"But not for long! I could walk a hundred miles without rest if I knew home was at the end of it!" Gone was the often sad, sometimes complaining man I had known: here was an impatient young man with hope in his face, as eager for tomorrow as any eighteen-year-old.
The singer and her husband wished us luck, and I emptied the day"s takings into her hand. "Pray that this time we were heading in the right direction. . . ."
Gill fell asleep as soon as he lay down in the straw of the stable we occupied that night; all the way back he had been humming the song that had awakened his memory, but I could not sleep. I tossed and turned restlessly. Outside a full moon shone through the gaps in the planking of the walls, its pale light seeming to touch my closed lids whichever way I turned on the rustling straw.
I told myself I was relieved we knew the way at last, how happy I was for Gill; in a month, two at most, he would be restored to his family, and my responsibility towards him would end. Then I would be free to pursue my original objective and find a safe, respectable husband and a comfortable home.
And at that happy prospect, I cried myself to sleep.
Chapter Twenty.Four.
It took us exactly six weeks.
We departed at dawn on the day after St. Swithin"s and arrived on the feast day of Saints Cosmos and Damien. It was a long, hard trek, with a hotter August and early September than I could remember. At home with Mama, of course, I was not exposed to the merciless heat of an open road; I had been able to take my ease under the trees in the forest, once my ch.o.r.es were done, and perhaps cool my feet in the river. Even at night we sometimes slept with the door open, the goat tethered nearby to challenge any intruder and give us time to bolt the door.
But now I was walking all day-at least the hours between dawn and two in the afternoon, and then again for a couple of hours in the evenings. Often there were no trees to shade our path, no streams or rivers to cool our feet or to bathe in. In fact water became scarcer the farther we traveled, and often they had none to spare in the villages we pa.s.sed through. I bought another flask and filled it when I could, sometimes walking a good way cross-country to find a river, after spying out the land to find the telltale signs of willow, shrub and reed which marked its course.
I think the flies were the biggest nuisance. Somehow they always managed to find us, great tickling, annoying things, alighting on any part of our exposed bodies to suck the salty moisture from our skins. They buzzed, they cl.u.s.tered, they crawled; other insects, midges, mosquitos, horseflies and wasps stung also, and unless one flailed ones arms like a windmill all day long, or waved a switch cut from the hedgerows, one was irritated to say the least and, more usually, infuriated and exhausted by nightfall, for they wouldn"t even let us alone during the afternoon rest.
No food could be left uncovered for more than a moment because it was immediately attacked. I had never particularly disliked any insect before, except perhaps for the ugly black c.o.c.kroaches that scuttled and tapped around fireplaces at night, but now I had a personal vendetta against any fly, wasp, hornet, midge, mosquito, horsefly or ant in the country. Gill was not as badly affected as I was-perhaps he didn"t taste as good-and Growch"s thick coat protected most of him, although he was regularly infested with sheep ticks, which were as difficult to dislodge as body lice.
Strangely enough, they all left the Wimperling well alone.
All around us the country was getting ready for harvest. In the south the grapes were swelling and coloring, often on land that looked too arid to support anything, and we pa.s.sed olive and orange trees that looked ready for picking, but as we headed north it was the grain that caught the eye and the orchards of apple and espaliered pears that promised delights to come. It was a bounteous time in the woods and wayside, too, and many a skirt of raspberries and blackberries I gathered. Hips, haws and hazelnuts had a month or so to go, but the autumn mushrooms and fungi were coming to their best.
The drought dried many of the ponds and streams that would have provided fish, and sheep and cattle were being fattened for the winter salting, poultry were wilting in the heat and there was little milk, but we managed, though I could feel the lighter clothes I wore were hanging looser by the day, and Gill and Growch looked leaner and fitter. Not so the Wimperling.
He still appeared to eat anything and everything with gusto and to my eyes was bigger than a small pony and no longer as pig-like as before, though it was difficult to say exactly what he did resemble. One day I took a piece of the rope we used for tying our bundles and surrept.i.tiously measured him as he lay snoozing. From stem to stern he was as long as Gill was tall, and, if my calculations were right, near as much around the middle.
"No, you"re not imagining things," he said, opening one eye. "I"m growing. A lot of it is the wings, though."
I was so startled I dropped the piece of rope. "Wings?"
"Round the middle. Look." And he rose to his hooves and slowly, lazily, extended his left wing. What I had taken for fat was in fact a combination of the wing itself and the disguising pouch he hid it under, grown larger with its contents. The wing itself now extended some five feet away from his body, a warm, living extension of himself, lifting in the slight breeze of evening.
"See?"
"I still don"t understand how everyone else sees you as small," I said helplessly, more shocked by the revelation than I cared to say. "When-when will you stop growing?"
"I told you: people see what they expect, and to help that I think pig." He didn"t answer the second question, I noticed. Perhaps he didn"t know.
This was a silly conversation, and I decided to be silly, too. "So if I wanted people to believe me beautiful, all I would have to do was think it?"
"Matthew the merchant thought you were beautiful. . . ."
"But I didn"t try and make him think so!"
"So perhaps you are anyway."
"Rubbish! My mother always said-"
"You shouldn"t believe all she said. Many mothers tell their daughters they are plain in order to steal their beauty for themselves. Think yourself ugly and unattractive and you will be."
"My mother wouldn"t have done a thing like that!" Would she? No, of course she wouldn"t. That would have been cruel. Besides I must have been ugly: I was never considered as her replacement when she died. Then had I thought myself ugly, as he was suggesting? No, I remembered my reflection in the river: fat, double-treble-chinned, mouthless, eye-less, disgusting. "Anyway, I"m fat, gross, obese." These at least were true.
"Was."
"Was what?"
"Fat. Didn"t you boast once to your knight about how well you were fed by your imaginary family?" How did he know I hadn"t been telling the truth?
"You said your mother fed you with all the greatest delicacies; it sounded more like force-feeding, and you were the Michaelmas goose. That was another way to make you less attractive than she was. No compet.i.tion."
"Nonsense! She wouldn"t have done a thing like that! It would be wicked!"
Why, she had loved me so much she had had me educated for the best in the land, and could not then bear for me to leave her to seek a husband!
Apparently the Wimperling could read my mind. "Most men don"t choose their spouses for their education. A pretty face goes further than being able to construe Latin. Child-bearing hips and a still tongue go even farther. And a dowry, of course . . ."
"I have that!" I said, stung with anger. "My father left it for me."
"All of it? Or was some of it gone? And did your mother show you it?"
"No, but-"
"Exactly. Another five years as her slave and there would have been no dowry left, only a grossly fat woman tied irrevocably to her mother"s side, a useless human being who could hold a pen, add two and two, sew a seam, cook a meal-and eat most of it-and who would have had ideas far above her station. When your mother died you would have been released from your bondage only to starve, or become a kitchen s.l.u.t. You would have been the pig, not I!"
"But she didn"t know she was going to die!" I flung back at him. "She-she thought she would live a long, long time, and . . . and . . ."
"I know that, don"t get angry. I don"t suppose for a moment she realized how selfish she was: she just didn"t want to lose you. But she went about it all the wrong way. There are people like that, so scared of losing the ones they love that they cling to them like ivy on a wall, not realizing that you have to let go to retain."
I thought about it: poor Mama, she should have realized I would never leave her. If she had found me a husband I would have been happy for her to live with us, or at least have a house nearby.
"But I"m not like that now," I said, subdued. "Life is very different on the road. . . ."
"Yes, and thank the G.o.ds for that! But mostly you have your father and the ring he left you to be grateful for."
"My father? The ring?"
"He bequeathed a ring to the child he would never see, a ring he knew he could no longer wear because he did not deserve it. It probably served him well in earlier years, but his life must have been such that the ring shed itself from his finger. The ring on your finger-diluted by age and wearing-is part of a Unicorn, and as such cannot be worn by anyone undeserving of its protection."
How did he know all this?
Again he seemed to read my mind. "Because your tumbled thoughts spill out into the wind sometimes, and before you have a chance to catch them back I can pattern them in my mind. Better than you, sometimes. Besides, I can sense the power. Unicorns-and witches and warlocks, wizards and dragons, fairies and elves, trolls and ogres-are become unfashionable in this modern world of ours. Yet all are still there, if you look for them or need them, although their power is greatly diminished by man"s indifference and disbelief. One day they will disappear altogether, and the world will be a sadder place."
I looked down at the ring on the middle finger of my right hand. A sliver of horn, almost transparent, nearly indistinguishable from the flesh it clung to.
And yet it had served me well. How else would I have been able to communicate with the others, the animals? I should have rejected Growch, probably misused Mistral, would not have been able to mend Traveler, never heard Basher in his cold misery. And what of the Wimperling himself? Would he not still be a showman"s toy if the ring had not sharpened my pity when I heard his cry for help? Or dead?
One way or another, the ring had given them all another chance: me too.