So she closed the door on the library and locked it; and put the tape into the player-not taking a pill. She was no fool, to deep-study any tape blind and unpreviewed, and without running a check for subliminals. taking a pill. She was no fool, to deep-study any tape blind and unpreviewed, and without running a check for subliminals.
She sat down and clenched her hands as it started-fascinated first-off by the sight of a familiar place, familiar faces-Florian and Catlin when they would have been a hundred twenty at least; and Justin-the boy was clearly Justin, even at the disadvantage of angle-he would be seventeen; and Ari herself-elegant, self-a.s.sured: she had seen newsclips of Ari this old, but none when Ari was not simply answering questions.
She listened-caught the nervousness in Justin"s voice, the finesse of control in Ari"s. Strange to know know that voice so well, and to feel inside what it was doing-and to understand what kat would do to that experience, for someone skilled at tape-learning: she felt a little p.r.i.c.kle down her back, a sense of hazard and involvement- that voice so well, and to feel inside what it was doing-and to understand what kat would do to that experience, for someone skilled at tape-learning: she felt a little p.r.i.c.kle down her back, a sense of hazard and involvement-conditioned response, a dim, a.n.a.lytical part of her thoughts said: the habits of this room, the physiological response of the endocrine system to the habit of taking kat here, and the lifelong habit of responding to tape- Azi must do this, she thought. And: The emotional context is kicking it off. Thank a dim, a.n.a.lytical part of her thoughts said: the habits of this room, the physiological response of the endocrine system to the habit of taking kat here, and the lifelong habit of responding to tape- Azi must do this, she thought. And: The emotional context is kicking it off. Thank G.o.d G.o.d I didn"t trank down for this. I didn"t trank down for this.
As muscles felt the sympathetic stimulus of nerves that knew knew what it felt like to walk and sit, and speak, and a brain that understood in all that context that Ari was On, and that her pulse was up, and that the target of her intentions was a Justin very young, very vulnerable, picking up the signals Ari was sending and reacting with extreme nervousness- what it felt like to walk and sit, and speak, and a brain that understood in all that context that Ari was On, and that her pulse was up, and that the target of her intentions was a Justin very young, very vulnerable, picking up the signals Ari was sending and reacting with extreme nervousness- Back off, she told herself, trying to distance herself from the aggression Ari was radiating. she told herself, trying to distance herself from the aggression Ari was radiating. Disinvolve. Disinvolve.
The switch was beside her. She only had to reach to it and push it to cut it off. But the s.e.xual feeling was too strong, toward an object otherwise out of reach-toward a Justin not quite real, not the man she knew, but Justin all the same.
She saw the gla.s.s fall-realized then what Ari had done to him, and that he was in terrible danger. She was afraid afraid for him; but the muscles she felt move in response to that falling gla.s.s were Ari"s, the impulse she felt through the heat of s.e.x was concern for the orange juice spill on the d.a.m.ned upholstery- for him; but the muscles she felt move in response to that falling gla.s.s were Ari"s, the impulse she felt through the heat of s.e.x was concern for the orange juice spill on the d.a.m.ned upholstery- Her Her couch- couch- Oh, G.o.d, she should shut this off. Now.
But she kept watching.
x It was a simple computer-delivered See me: my office, 0900. -Denys Nye. - See me: my office, 0900. -Denys Nye. -that brought him to the administrative wing, and to the door that he dreaded.
So she had the tape, Justin thought; so Denys knew about the dinner at Changes. Changes.
He had not not expected Giraud with Denys. He froze in the doorway, with Seely at his back, then walked in and sat down. expected Giraud with Denys. He froze in the doorway, with Seely at his back, then walked in and sat down.
"Let"s dispense with what we both know," Denys said, "and not bicker about details. What in h.e.l.l do you think you"re doing?"
"I thought about coming to you," he said, "but she was embarra.s.sed as well as mad. I figured-if I did-come to you-she might blow. I thought you wanted to avoid that."
"So you took a wide action. On your own judgment."
"Yes, ser." Denys was being reasonable-too reasonable, with Giraud sitting there staring at him with hostility in every line of his face. "And knowing you"d call me."
"She has the tape," Denys said. "That surprised me, Justin, that truly surprised me."
Giraud"s not the Special. Denys is. . . .
"I"m flattered, ser. I don"t expect to surprise you. But that wasn"t why I did it. I wish you"d let let me explain. Ari-" me explain. Ari-"
"I don"t need your explanation. Neither of us does."
"It"s a simple adolescent infatuation-"
"She"s been s.e.xually active since she was thirteen. At least. And this fascination is thoroughly in program. We"re not worried about that. Her predecessor had a pattern of such things. That you"re young, male, and working at close quarters with her- No question."
"I haven"t encouraged it!"
"Of course not. But you"ve tried to manipulate her by that means."
"That"s not so. No."
"Sins of the heart, if not the intellect. You took her on, you"ve taught her, you"ve tried to steer her-admit it."
"Away from that kind of thing-" from that kind of thing-"
Denys leaned forward on folded arms.
"That," Giraud said, "is intervention, in itself."
"Not to harm her," Justin said, "or me." Giraud had only to speak and reactions started running through him, kat-dream, deep as bone. He could not help that flutter of nerves, could not forget the whip-crack that voice could become ... in his nightmares. He looked at Denys, feeling a tremor in his muscles. "I tried to keep it all low-key, non-flux."
"Until yesterday," Denys said, "when you decided to handle a situation yourself. When you exacerbated a situation-and decided to handle it... by handing her a major key. That is an intervention, you"re an operator, you knew exactly what you were doing, and I want you to lay that out for me in plain words-consciously and subconsciously."
"Why should I?" His heart was slamming against his ribs. "Duplication of effort, isn"t it? Why don"t we just go over to Security and save us all time and trouble?"
"You"re asking for a probe."
"No. I"m not. But that"s never stopped you."
"Let"s have a little calm, son."
Jordan. Oh, G.o.d.
He means me to think about that.
"Answer the question," Giraud said.
"I did it to save my neck. Because she"s a d.a.m.ned dangerous enemy. Because she could as well blow up in your direction. What in h.e.l.l else else was charged enough to knock her back and make her rea.s.sess?" was charged enough to knock her back and make her rea.s.sess?"
"That"s a tolerably acceptable answer," Denys said. Confusing him. He waited for the redirect and the flank attack. "The question is-what do you think you"ve induced? Where is your intervention going? What"s her state of mind right now?"
"I hope to G.o.d," he said, his voice out of control, "I hope to G.o.d-it"s going to make her careful."
"And sympathetic?"
"Careful would do." would do."
"You"re courting her, aren"t you?"
"G.o.d, no!"
"Yes, you are. Not s.e.xually, though I imagine you"ll pay that if you have to-if you can gain enough stability to handle the encounter. But you"d much rather avoid it. "h.e.l.l hath no fury"? Something like that in your considerations? Politics may make strange bedfellows, but bedfellows make deadly politics."
"I just want to survive here."
"In her administration. Yes. Of course you do. Protect yourself-protect Grant. The consequences of enmity with us-have only a few years to run, is that what you"re thinking? A couple of old men-weighed against the lifespan of a sixteen-year-old whose power is-possibly adequate to work for you if you could maneuver your way into her considerations. A very dangerous course. A very very dangerous course, even for a man willing to sell-what you were willing to sell her predecessor-" dangerous course, even for a man willing to sell-what you were willing to sell her predecessor-"
Temper. Temper is . . . only what he wants here.
"-but then, your choices are are limited." limited."
"It doesn"t take a probe," Giraud said, his deep voice quite gentle, "to know what your interests are. -And the latest business on my desk-I think you"ll find quite-amusing in one sense. Alarming, in the other. The Paxers-you know, the people who blow up Novgorod subways, have decided to invoke your father"s name-"
"He hasn"t a thing to do with it!"
"Of course not. Of course not. But the Novgorod police did find some interesting doc.u.ments-naming your father as a political martyr in their cause, stating that the new monstrosity in Reseune the new monstrosity in Reseune is a creation of the military-that a.s.sa.s.sinating Ari and creating maximum chaos would lead to a Paxer government-" is a creation of the military-that a.s.sa.s.sinating Ari and creating maximum chaos would lead to a Paxer government-"
"That"s crazy!"
"Of course it is. Of course your father knows nothing about it."
"He doesn"t! My G.o.d, -"
"I said-of course. Don"t let it upset you. This has been going on for years. Oh, not the Paxers. They"re comparatively new. All these organizations are interlocked. That"s what makes them so difficult to track. That and the fact that the people that do the bombing are z-cases. Druggers and just general fools whose devotion to the cause involves letting themselves be partial-wiped by amateur operators. That That kind of fools. I thought I should tell you-there are people in this world who don"t care anything for their own lives, let alone a sixteen-year-old focus of their hostilities. And they"re using your father"s name in their literature. I"m sorry. I suppose it kind of fools. I thought I should tell you-there are people in this world who don"t care anything for their own lives, let alone a sixteen-year-old focus of their hostilities. And they"re using your father"s name in their literature. I"m sorry. I suppose it doesn"t doesn"t amuse you." amuse you."
"No, ser." He was close to shivering. Giraud did that to him. Without drugs. Because in not very long, there would be, he knew that; and not all the skill in the world could prevent it. "I"m not amused. I know Jordan wouldn"t be, if he heard about it, which he hasn"t, unless you"ve told him."
"We"ve mentioned it to him. He asked us to say he"s well. Looking forward, I imagine, to a change of regime in Defense. -As we all are. Certainly. I just wanted to let you know the current state of things, since there are ramifications to the case that you might want to be aware of. That your father murdered Ari-is not quite old news. It"s entered into threats against her successor"s life. And Ari will be aware of these things. We have to make her aware-for her own protection. Perhaps you and she can work it out in a civilized way. I hope so."
What is he doing? What is he trying to do?
What does he want from me?
Is he threatening Jordan?
"How does your father feel about Ari? Do you have any idea?"
"No, ser. I don"t know. Not hostility. I don"t think he would feel that."
"Perhaps you can find find out. If this election goes right." out. If this election goes right."
"If it does, ser. Maybe I can make a difference-in how how he feels." he feels."
"That"s what we hope," Giraud said.
"I wouldn"t, however," Denys said, "bring the matter up with Ari."
"No, ser."
"You"re a valuable piece in this," Giraud said. "I"m sorry-you probably have very strong feelings about me. I"m used to them, of course, but I regret them all the same. I"m not your enemy; and you probably won"t believe that. I don"t even ask for comment-not taxing your politeness. This time I"m on your side, to the extent I wish you a very long life. And the committee is agreed: thirty-five is a little young for rejuv-but then, it seems to have no adverse effects-"
"Thank you, no."
"It"s not up for discussion. You have an appointment in hospital. You and Grant both."
"No!"
"The usual offer. Report on schedule or Security will see you do."
"There"s no d.a.m.n sense in my going on rejuv-it"s my decision, dammit!"
"That"s the committee"s decision. It"s final. Certainly nothing you ought to be anxious about. Medical studies don"t show any diminution of lifespan for early users-"
"In the study they"ve got. There"s no d.a.m.n sense in this. Ari"s on the shots, d.a.m.n well sure she is-"
"Absolutely."
"Then why in h.e.l.l are you doing this?"
"Because you have value. And we care about you. You can go on over there. Or you can go the hard way and distress Grant-which I"d rather not."
He drew a careful breath. "Do you mind-if I go tell Grant myself? Half an hour. That"s all."
"Perfectly reasonable. Go right ahead. Half an hour, forty-five minutes. They"ll be expecting you."
xi Another d.a.m.ned wait. Justin lay full-length on the table and stared at the ceiling, trying to put his mind in null, observing the pattern in the ceiling tiles, working out the repet.i.tions.
Full body scan and hematology work-up, tracer doses shot into his bloodstream, more blood drawn. Dental checks. Respiration. Cardiac stress . . . you have a little hypertension, you have a little hypertension, Wojkowski had said, and he had retorted: Wojkowski had said, and he had retorted: G.o.d, I wonder why. G.o.d, I wonder why.
Which Wojkowski did not think was amusing.
More things shot into his veins, more scans, more probings at private places and more sitting about-lying down for long periods, while they tried to get him calm enough to get accurate readings.
I"m trying, he had said, the last time they had checked on him. he had said, the last time they had checked on him. I"m honestly trying. Do you think I like waiting around freezing to death? I"m honestly trying. Do you think I like waiting around freezing to death?
Complaining got him a robe. That was all. They finally put him on biofeedback until he could get the heart rate down, and got the tests they wanted.
Why? had been Grant"s first and only question-a worried frown, a shrug, and a: had been Grant"s first and only question-a worried frown, a shrug, and a: Well, at least we Well, at least we do do get it, don"t we? get it, don"t we?
Which, for an azi, could be a question. He had never thought that it was, never thought that Reseune could go so far as to deny him and Grant rejuv when it was time for them to have it or vengefully postpone it beyond the point when they should have it, to avoid diminished function.
Thinking of that, he could be calmer about it. But he had sent a call through to Base One: Ari, this is Justin. Ari, this is Justin.
Grant and I have been told to report to hospital. We"ve been told we re to go on rejuv, over our protests. I want you to know where we are and what"s happened. ... ...
Which got them nothing. Base One took the message. No one was reading it. They could try for admission to Ari"s floor, but open confrontation with Administration was more than Ari could handle. No one answering, No one answering, he had said to Grant. he had said to Grant.
Its only one treatment, Grant had said. Grant had said.
Meaning that one could still change one"s mind. It took about three to eight weeks of treatments for the body to adjust-and become dependent.
Nothing permanent, yet.
"You"re going to be coming here for your treatments, Wojkowski had said.
"For what?" what?" he had said. "To have you watch me take a d.a.m.ned pill? Or what are you giving me?" . he had said. "To have you watch me take a d.a.m.ned pill? Or what are you giving me?" .
"Because this was not elective. You understand-going off the drug has severe consequences. Immune system collapse."
"I"m a certified paramedic," he had snapped back. "Clinical psych. I a.s.sure you I know the cautions. What I want to know, doctor, is what else they"re putting into the doses."